He could not believe he was doing this, it was insane and unthinkable.

And yet, they were working together.

Former Egyptian prince Teth-Adam, now known as Black Adam, the sinister counterpart to Shazam, strolled through the halls of the facility with his cape flowing behind him.

A perpetual frown rested on his face, no, an annoyed frown, especially as he walked alongside the infamous Merc With A Mouth from Earth 1612; Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool.

They'd met weeks ago when the walls between dimensions had been disturbed, leading to the Justice League making contact with their counterparts; the Avengers and the X-Men. And Deadpool, the most annoying and weirdest being in existence, had come through as well.

"I really don't recall if we've teamed up before..." Deadpool said, "I know our worlds have crossed over before, but I don't recall teaming up with you in the 90s Marvel/DC crossover. My memory is vague, but I kinda faintly recall having an encounter with Batman in one of his comics before I got sucked through a portal...

"...But us teaming up? I think I might like where this shit is going, this is probably gonna be megaton levels of epic. Did I ever tell you I met The Rock once, looks like you, I think we starred in a film with that woman in a red dress. And I'm dressed in red, did I forget to mention the black spots, who's writing my dialogue?"

Black Adam glanced at the Merc with annoyance. "I don't know what you're talking about, Wade. But yes, you are wearing red and it's stupid to think that I don't notice."

Deadpool chuckled. "Red. Notice. Love that film, the book's sweet and, did I mention that I once got a Red Notice from S.H.I.E.L.D? I think they send a red notice. And by the way, did you shave? You look so bald today, and how's the suit? Are you sure your ass and your micro-gun fits in there?"

He turned around and grabbed Deadpool by the neck, slamming him against the wall. Black Adam was more annoyed with Deadpool's chattering than ever, he glared at him in the eye and the Merc gasped for breath, clawing at Black Adam's hand to try and get him off.

"Was I saying too much?" Deadpool quipped, "It doesn't have something to do with me commenting on your Adam Jr. and his orbs of power and your tail end, does it? I swear to God, this Merc does not mean to offend you with his Mouth in any way. You wanna make some dead bodies in a pool together, we both take lives..."

"QUIT TALKING!" Black Adam shouted.

"Did you at least get that last bit, dead bodies in a pool, dead pool, like my name?"

"You're distracting me... Especially as I'm thinking about how we're going to take her down when we face her!" The dark Shazam growled.

"Sorry, I'll stop talking, just don't sew my mouth shut and turn me into Barka from Mortal Kombat just like that army bastard did to me on Three-Mile Island in the 2009 movie. Hell, you know I can heal like that grizzly Wolverine guy, Logan."

"You're still talking..."

Deadpool gulped and became silent. With that, Black Adam set him down and they resumed their movement towards the door at the end of the hall. The door slowly opened and the two anti-heroes entered a large chamber surrounded by rocks and metal pillars, partially looking like a cave.

And in the middle of the room was a dais with a shiny tiara on it. Black Adam studied the room, finding nobody to be here. Sure, this was a Justice League facility and that was the Themysciran Jewel Crown, which Aquaman had discovered some time ago, but the artifact was unguarded.

"Ooooh, that is soooo pretty as powder..." Deadpool cried, "...and it looks free."

'Motormouthed piece of shit and his damn quips...' Black Adam thought with annoyance.

"If you're going to take the jewel crown, you'll have to make it past the one who was entrusted to guard it." A voice said.

Wonder Woman, Diana Prince of Themyscira, made her appearance, sporting her gauntlets, leather boots and revealing strapless red-blue bodysuit with a golden belt that accentuated her figure, the Lasso of Truth at her side.

She descended from the shadows and landed near the Themysciran Jewel Crown, staring fiercely at Deadpool and Black Adam.

Black Adam and his... acquaintance stared back at their opponent intensely, they knew this was a challenge, a test, but it felt like an actual situation where they were going to steal treasure together and had to deal with its guardian first.

And Diana was the guardian...

"Heeeeeeyyyyy, black-haired Amazon chick." Deadpool quipped, "Have you been working out? Wow, you've been working out. I can hardly focus on your eyes, it's so crazy thinking about how your butt fits that outfit and those jugs look like they could pop out at any second. And the Lasso, have you used that for foreplay?"

"Hand the Jewel Crown over, Themysciran." Black Adam said.

"You're going to have to go through me first..." Wonder Woman replied, "...and one of you should be more polite and respectful towards women."

The lights shining in the room slowly dimmed, beginning to flicker, more power radiated off Black Adam's body as the lightning symbol on his outfit glowed. Wonder Woman glared at the two more intensely, gripping the Lasso of Truth even harder, Deadpool raised his gun, raising his sword as well. The tension grew...

Both Black Adam and Deadpool glanced at one another, then they glared back at Wonder Woman, ready to make a move, the treasure in their sight behind their foe. And the intensity in the air became larger, spreading outward, until there was no holding back.

It was war!

Lightning exploded, Black Adam surged towards Wonder Woman and the first fist flew. Deadpool leaped forward, firing his gun. The bullets streaked towards the Amazon, who raised her arm in a shielding gesture, the bullet impacting the gauntlet and clattering to the floor.

Black Adam swept his hands horizontally and a burst of energy shot towards Wonder Woman, who backflipped out of the way to avoid the strike, the lightning exploded near the dais and the impact shook the Jewel Crown in its place.

Wonder Woman raised both arms as Black Adam swooped in towards her, blocking his punches, and ducked as the ancient Egyptian kicked at her. Deadpool jumped in, attempting to get the drop on the Themysciran, and took her by surprise.

"Amazonian melons for meeeeee..." The Merc hollered, "...after my blade penetrates her beauty, that is!"

Deadpool brought up the sword and Wonder Woman clinked her gauntlets together, generating a shockwave that knocked Black Adam off of her. However, Deadpool maintained his position in Wonder Woman's vicinity, planting his blade into the ground and gripping the handle tightly until the effects of the shockwave left.

The Merc then turned towards Wonder Woman and pounced on her again, his hands reaching below her neck, all while he sported a goofy grin beneath the mask...

POW!

"Hands to yourself, Dead-pervert!" Diana said fiercely, she brought up her Lasso of Truth and flicked it, smacking Deadpool in the shoulder to his surprise.

"Oh my fucking god, you are a dominator!" Deadpool exclaimed, "You're a dominat... GIVE ME SOME JUICY CHICK ACTION! You're making me excited to the max, you're a fucking enchantress, just who can't resist the temptation to fight a girl like you?! And Amazons are meant to be gorgeous..."

"Do you ever shut up, Deadpool...?" Wonder Woman rolled his eyes.

"Only when I'm "asleep" in bed with a girl like you, Amazonian Dominator Princess..." Deadpool said, he brought up his sword once more and pulled out his other sword, "But in battle, that's when I talk as I FIGHT you to the moon!"

Diana drew her sword and smirked, "And that's what we're doing, you wacky perverted merc."

The blades clashed. Deadpool lunged and sliced at Wonder Woman, who blocked with her blade, and the two costumed crusaders clashed. Wonder Woman pushed back against Deadpool and brought up her sword, attempting to land a blow, but Deadpool ducked even as the blade grazed part of his mask.

He shot back up and did a drop kick, aiming for Wonder Woman's legs while swinging his sword. Wonder Woman leaped, floating in the air high enough to avoid Deadpool's attack. Deadpool looked up, staring up his foe's legs and thrust up his sword, attempting to land a blow beneath her.

And that was when Black Adam made his move and tackled Wonder Woman, slamming her against the wall before Deadpool could stab her in the groin. The dark Shazam threw a punch, which Wonder Woman intercepted as she grabbed his fist.

Just then, she looked over her shoulder and yelled, "NO!"

Deadpool had grabbed the Amazonian Jewel Crown and was racing for the exit. Black Adam head-butted Wonder Woman, who reeled back with dizziness before recovering in a quick instant.

She pushed Black Adam off and raced after Deadpool, throwing her Lasso of Truth to intercept the merc with a mouth, only to be blocked by Black Adam.

Black Adam unleashed his lightning, attempting to fry Wonder Woman, who blocked with her gauntlets and her blade before hitting him with the Lasso of Truth, the golden rope of Hestia wrapped around the Egyptian and he ceased his attack.

He tried to resist, but the rope was too strong.

No choice, he had no choice...

"Shazam!" Black Adam uttered.

BOOM! The explosion knocked Wonder Woman back into the dais, Deadpool made it out the door and could hear the explosion from behind the wall, he held the Jewel Crown tightly as he ran for it.

Inside the room, the smoke cleared as Teth Adam stood, wearing his ancient Egyptian garb as he stared at Wonder Woman as she recovered.

"By Zeus!" She cried half-furiously, clenching her fist, recalling Deadpool had taken the Jewel Crown.

"Looks like we beat you..." Teth said.

Wonder Woman lifted off the ground and soared towards the depowered Egyptian, who ducked, before flying out the door. Deadpool ran through the halls, holding onto the artifact with both hands while alarms continued to wail.

He looked back, wondering if Black Adam would be with him, he just had to get out of the facility and...

She appeared, flying right in front of him. Wonder Woman threw her lasso and tied up Deadpool, who dropped the Jewel Crown and collapsed to his knees. The Merc with a Mouth groaned in defeat, unable to believe that he and Black Adam had pretty failed.

The Amazonian warrior princess approached the defeated Merc and picked up the artifact he'd attempted to steal, then she stared at him with a smirk just as Teth Adam arrived, sporting his normal depowered appearance. Deadpool looked at him, confused. "Did she do something to put you in this state?" He asked.

"She used the Lasso of Truth to make me say the magic word." Teth said.

"Please?"

"No, Shazam." Wonder Woman told him.

"Oh..."

The Themysciran removed the Lasso of Truth and looked at the two. "You both fought well, but your abilities and strength aren't always everything." She said, "Even if you managed to get away with the Jewel Crown, you'd still have to deal with me or the rest of the league..."

"I swear, did we tangle in a past Marvel/DC crossover event?" Deadpool asked, "There's been so many crossovers across so many continuities over the years, I don't remember being in one of them. Heck, this fanfic is getting a little confusing."

Wonder Woman and Black Adam looked at one another with confusion and slight annoyance, wondering what the Merc was trying to get at. Regardless, the test was over and it was time for the Amazonian Jewel Crown to be put back in a safe place.

As Black Adam and Deadpool left the facility, exhausted from the battle, they all wondered; What next?

However, what mattered was that Wonder Woman was just as formidable as them, not to mention that Black Adam now knew that teaming up with the Deadpool again would likely be weirder, especially while knowing they didn't call him Merc with a Mouth for nothing...

The End

The Dark Knight sat at the computer, watching the footage of the battle, observing Black Adam and Deadpool's moves as they went up against Wonder Woman. After dealing with Black Adam many times and seeing Deadpool in action, it was already obvious recruiting them or teaming up with them would be complicated.

He watched the footage for a little longer, then he paused it and rubbed his head before turning off the file. A pair of bats flew by the area, screeching in unison, the Caped Crusader then picked up his tea that Alfred had given him and sipped it.

Batman then looked at the file of Deadpool, looking at the picture, while looking at the description of the man known as Wade Wilson and how he'd become Deadpool. If there was one detail he could add to the report, it was that Wade was nothing compared to Slade "Deathstroke" Wilson.

"Things didn't get too weird with him, did they?" Batman asked.

Diana stood close by, wearing a revealing blue-white robe as she dabbed her hair with a towel. She'd just gotten out of the shower and was spending the night with Batman at the manor, they'd been dating for a while, even before Deadpool arrived along with the rest of the Marvel metahumans.

"Aside from his... perverted remarks around me..." Diana replied, "Things were fine in the end, but it could have been weirder... and perhaps dirtier."

"I saw he tried to stab you in the crotch with his sword."

Diana stroked her finger along the Dark Knight's shoulder with a slight smile. "You are the only man whom I will ever let stab me in the crotch, Bruce Wayne..." She whispered seductively.

Batman removed his mask, revealing the face of billionaire Bruce Wayne, and stood up, staring his girlfriend in the eye, gazing into her soul and drinking in the beauty of the Themysciran, forgetting all about the strangeness of Deadpool, along with the details of the fight between Black Adam, Deadpool and Wonder Woman.

Diana slowly untied the bundle of her robe and let it drop to her ankles, revealing her slender womanly figure, standing naked in front of Bruce with a hand on her hip and a wink in her eye.

The Dark Knight couldn't resist.

He grasped her hips and pressed her against the console of the Bat-computer, letting her arms wrap around his neck, and they kissed passionately, and then they kissed more deeply as Diana Prince pressed her cleavage against the Dark Knight's torso and love filled the Batcave...