Chapter Two: Reconnection
Buck survives the night at the Buckle-Han residence. The guest room is perfect for him and Emory. Despite Maddie's offer, Buck had packed all of Emory's belongings and little of his own so his daughter slept in her own pack-n-play next to him.
Chimney was uncharacteristically quiet during dinner. Buck was surprised, but welcomed the reprieve after baring his soul to Maddie hours prior. He told Maddie that it was okay to fill Chimney in, telling her that he didn't think he would be able to bring himself to do it again so soon.
Chimney approached him the next morning, he said nothing but his departing hug lingered on Bucks skin for hours. The only pressure Chim applied was telling Buck that he should consider dropping by the station sometime or consider attending the Nash-Grant barbeque. Buck just dropped his head, shrugged his shoulders and offered a flimsy 'maybe.' Chimney didn't look disappointed, just understanding. Before he walked out the door, he stopped at the side of the pack-n-play where Emory was wiggling with a mobile turning above her head. He whispered a soft 'goodbye' and left.
Maddie left shortly after. She grabbed Jee to take her to daycare. Buck offered to watch her and Maddie promised he could after he settled a bit more. She teased him lightly about terrible twos and said he could figure out what she meant over the weekend.
That left Buck alone in the house with Emory.
Buck settled on the floor next to her and stared up towards her mobile. He ached to do something or to go somewhere. But he didn't know where to start.
A yellow plastic dinosaur catches his eye from under the couch. He pulls it out and stares at it before smiling, "Thanks Kenz."
Then he sits up and grabs Emory, he has a place to start.
—-
Buck pulls up to the familiar address before his nerves get the best of him. His reunion with Chimney went smoother than he ever could have expected. But this was one he dreaded the most. He gripped the wheel of his truck and contemplated his options before chickening out. He pulled out of the driveway and lets himself go around in circles. Lost in his own head, he doesn't realize where he's going until he stops in front of the station. The 118 letters glare at him in a stark contrast to the building. The doors are open and he sees the engine is gone, meaning most of the station was likely on a run. Buck glances at his dash and realizes its almost 3pm, shift change. Chimney had left early, picking up extra hours on the B shift. If the schedule hasn't changed, and it likely hadn't, then the A shift was probably starting to come in.
He sees Chimney walk outside and head towards his truck. Buck freezes and pushes down the instinct to drive away as fast as possible.
"Hey Buckaroo," he says through the open window. Buck nods in acknowledgement, gripping the steering wheel so tight his hands are turning white and blue. Chimney clocks the motion and tilts his head towards the building.
"You know, Hen is the only one on the floor right now. The captain is in his office and the rest of A shift hasn't wandered in yet. If they do, it will just be our newbie, Ravi. Everyone else had the day off," Chim supplies. By 'everyone else' Buck knows he means Eddie. And with the current time, the captain must be Bobby.
Buck chews on his lip for a minute, a nervous tick he picked up.
"I-I don't know Chim," Buck whispers. Chim sighs and leans against the door.
"I know it may not seem like it with the way things were left, but everyone knows they fucked up kid. And if you did decide to come in, everything would be on your terms, okay? If you want, I can distract Cap if you wanted to see Hen. I know she's missed you like crazy. She's had a rough couple of years. Hell, we all have. But I know that she was… better to you, than the rest of us morons," Chimney says. Buck sighs and deflates. It would be easy to take Chimney up on his offer to distract Bobby while he sneaks in to see Hen. But he also feels like that's the coward's way out. He takes a deep breath and unbuckles himself. Chimney takes a step back in surprise as the door opens. They stand and stare at each other for a moment, a smile breaking out on Chims face.
"I'm proud of you kid. Just let me know what you need," he offers in support. Buck gives a small smile of thanks before starting the process of getting Emory's carrier out. The infant smiles at him happily, his heart surges with a newfound courage looking at his daughter.
"Okay," Buck whispers, finally standing beside Chimney. They make their way into the station and Buck's legs lock at the entrance. It was exactly the same as it was three years ago.
He lets out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Then he hears a gasp to his right. Hen comes out from the ambulance, packs of gauze and wraps falling from her hands as she rushes towards them.
"Buck?" she calls. Buck turns to Chim and raises his arm with the carrier, the man smiles and accepts the transfer. Then Buck has his arms wrapped around Hen who is either laughing or crying into his chest. She hugs him tightly.
"Hey Hen," he whispers, rocking with her. She pulls back with a smile and tears on her face.
"I am so damn happy to see your ugly mug," she teases, holding his face like it was a fragile thing to behold. Buck chuckles and smiles at her.
"I missed you too," he responds honestly. She pulls him back into a quick hug before pulling away and gently swatting at his shoulder.
"Not a call? Or a message? Or a carrier pigeon?" she iterates with light smacks. He winces a bit.
"Yea, I really am sorry about that. I just needed time," he responds. She gives him a look.
"Three years was too damn long for me Buckaroo," she says with a slight lift in her voice to let him know she didn't completely blame him. He grimaced.
"I was going to come back after one, but then I met someone and then life happened," he says honestly. While explaining he gestures towards Emory who Chim still has in her carrier at his hip. Hens' eyes widened.
"Life really did happen," she gasps, bending down to peek at the littlest one. Buck chuckles.
"Oh my god, my Buckaroo is a dad?" Hen says in mock horror. Chim smiles, "yea, best damn father anyone could ask for. He's already given me a run for my money."
Buck's head shoots to Chim in surprise. Chim just shrugs his shoulders, "what? It's true. You change her diapers like a champ and actually got her to sleep through the night. Jee had me on my hands and knees begging for small mercies within the first night."
Hen's head snaps to Chimney and her eyes narrow slightly. A conversation happened telepathically and Buck can assume the gist of it. 'You knew he was back and didn't tell me?' 'Yes.' 'We are so talking about this later.' 'Okay'
Buck takes the carrier from Chim and hoists it up into the crook of his arm. He glances towards the balcony and sees Bobby standing at the railing, staring at him. Bobby makes eye contact with him and nods in acknowledgement, he leans back and heads towards his office. Buck stares at the spot he vacated.
"So, how long are you in town for Buck?" Hen asks. Buck can feel, more than see, Chimney shaking his head at her beside him.
"I-I'm not really sure. I didn't really plan on coming back so I hadn't really thought that far," Buck answers honestly. Hens' eyes soften.
"Well, I hope you stay Buckaroo. Things have been different around here without you, and not in a good way," she elaborates with a soft shoulder squeeze. Buck gives a weak smile.
"I don't want to make any promises Hen. I can honestly say that I have no idea what our plans for the future are," he says looking down at Emory.
"Well, you always have family here," she promises. Theres the sound of an engine behind him and Buck moves to the side and out of the way. It puts him in front of the stairs and he hesitates.
"I can watch her if you want to head up," Hen offers. He hesitates again before relenting.
"Emory, her name is Emory," Buck whispers, handing her over gently. Hen beams at him and the trust he's shown. He crouches down and kisses Emory's head for a bit more courage before heading up the stairs. The walk to the captain's office is longer than he remembers and he hesitates before the doorway. Bobby had an open door policy, he always left the door ajar unless he was conducting a meeting. Today was no exception and Buck hated that fact for once. He knew Bobby knew he was outside the door, steeling himself, Buck walked into the doorway.
Bobby looks up at him in surprise. Buck expects that neither of them thought he would actually make the final few paces.
Bobby drops the papers he was reviewing and nods at him again, "Buck."
Buck chews on his lower lip before a hesitant, "Bobby," slips past his lips. Bobby lets a small smile curl at his lips.
"It's good to see you kid," Bobby says. Buck shifts on his feet, looking down at his shoes.
"I-I don't know how long I'm staying," Buck responds. He sees Bobby's shoulders drop a fraction.
"Well, I hope I see you more before you go. There-theres a lot I need to apologize for. A lot we need to talk about," Bobby says. Buck nods and meets his eyes.
"There is. And I need to apologize as well," Buck states. His response throws Bobby off guard, he can tell by the way the older man freezes and blinks as he processes Bucks words.
"Apologize for what Buck? You didn't do anything wrong," Bobby responds. Buck lets a breath escape as he rocks onto his heels.
"No, no. I have plenty to apologize for. Starting with that stupid lawsuit and ending with leaving so abruptly," Buck says. Bobby opens and closes his mouth, eyebrows furrowing together.
"You did what you thought you had to do to get back to us. Then we treated you like crap, which you didn't deserve by the way, and you felt like you had to leave because of it," Bobby says, clasping his hands together on his desk. Buck shakes his head.
"Two years ago, I would've agreed with you. But then I got some sense knocked into me and I realized that I was in the wrong too. I should've talked to you about how I was feeling. I should've worked with you to come back instead of against you. All you were doing was trying to protect me after you almost lost me. I was-I had my head so far up my own ass that I couldn't see that and I'm sorry. I never should've left either. I should've talked it out with you with everyone. But I let my emotions get the best of me, like always, and I ran away instead of facing my problems from the mess I made," Buck rants. Bobby's eyes are wide and silence stretches for a moment.
"I won't disagree with everything you said, but I also need some of the blame here too. Because I should've talked to you and been honest as well. This isn't all on you," Bobby responds, moving to walk around his desk.
Buck sighs.
"I guess theres enough blame for two people. But I just wanted to let you know that I apologize, Bobby, for everything that I did," Buck chokes a bit and has to look away. He feels Bobby's hand on his shoulder and he turns into the older man for a hug. Bobby holds him tight and claps him on the back a few times.
"I don't know who knocked some sense into you, but tell them 'thank you' for me?" Bobby whispers. Buck chuckles.
"Yea, she'd love to hear that," Buck responds, pulling back and wiping his eyes.
"She?" Bobby asks, raising his eyebrow. Buck nods and rubs at the back of his neck.
"Some things happened while I was away. I met someone, her name was Mackenzie, you would've liked her," Buck smiles wistfully. Bobby's smile dips in understanding. Then a wail breaks the moment between them and Buck is sprinting down the stairs.
"She's okay, she's okay! I think she just missed her daddy," Hen soothes rocking the crying baby who Buck notes is still in her carrier. He crouches down, "its okay Emmy, its okay. Daddy's here, I've got you." He holds her to his chest and rocks her in his arms. Her cries slow and he uses an arm to pat his pants pocket.
He pulls out his keys and Chim steps up to his side, "what do you need Buckaroo?"
"Oh, um, I left her bag in the backseat. Shes hungry," Buck explains. Chimney holds out his hand and it takes Buck a minute to understand his offered assistance and smiles in thanks as he hands Chim the keys. The other man runs out to Bucks truck. Hen remains a few steps back and watches adoringly. Buck notices Bobby has also been watching from a few steps away.
"Umm, do you want to hold her?" Buck asks Hen. The other woman's face lights up and she beams at him holding out her arms. Buck smiles and gently passes Emory over.
"Shes beautiful Buckaroo," Hen states again. Buck smiles and smoothes an unruly curl away from her head.
"Yea, shes the very best of us," Buck states softley. Hen smiles up at him.
"Where is her mother?" Hen asks. Buck feels himself tense up and he notices Bobby do the same.
"Uh, there were c-complications with the birth," Buck states. Hens face falls and she looks back at Emory.
"I'm sorry Buck," Hen says. Buck shakes his head.
"Don't be. It wasn't anyone's fault and I wouldn't change meeting Kenzie or having Emory," Buck says. Hen smiles.
"Kenzie sounds like a special person," Hen states. Buck smiles fondly, his eyes watering slightly. He clears his throat before nodding in conformation. He hears hesitant steps behind him and feels the weight of a supporting hand against his back. Bobby.
Buck lets out a breath he had been holding and feels as close to peace as he had in a long time.
"You guys would've loved her. She kept trying to talk me into bringing her here and coming back. She was the one who made me realize what an ass I'd been and how badly I had screwed up. She made me better, made me want to be better," Buck said. Bobby squeezed his shoulder.
"I think I already love her," Hen says with teary eyes.
Chim interrupts with staggered breaths and the purple bag swinging from his hand.
"That truck is like a baby minefield," Chim groans. Buck thanks him and takes the items. Bobby leads him up to the kitchen and watches as Buck sets out the items. Chim sits at the table, Bobby stands beside the counter and Hen walks up and down the hall with Emory bouncing in her arms.
Bobby moves towards the counter and Buck chuckles at him, "I promise I got it Cap."
He misses the smile the nickname earns him, Bobby responds "I know, I know, I just want to see how it's done."
Buck grins and goes about making the bottle. He measures out the formula, measures out the water, presses the button on the bottle warmer, shakes the bottle, places the bottle into the warmer, then drips the liquid against the inside of his wrist. He turns to Hen with the bottle in hand and she looks up at him before gently handing Emory back.
Buck holds her close in the crook of his arm and places the end in her mouth.
"I would've thought you would want to feed her," Buck teases. Hen sticks her tongue out at him and takes a seat.
"If I get too attached, I might just steal her," Hen says wistfully. Buck shoots her a glare.
"Down Papa Bear, she looks content just where she is," Chimney prods. His comment has the desired effect and Buck melts at the sight of his daughter.
"That's a picture," Bobby teases. Buck smiles at him and feels like his pieces are slowly mending back together.