Right In It
"My dear girl," said the Doctor from the floor, "I think you'd better come to the medical bay."
"I'm not hurt."
"Nevertheless, the Master is quite capable of doing something mentally or physically damaging that doesn't show up til later."
Yes, I rather thought he might be.
He let me precede him into the medical room- which was right where I thought it would be- first door after the console room.
"Sit down. Please." He said, and proceeded to run a series of scanners over me, watching me carefully- supposedly unobtrusively, while I sat and brooded.
"You don't think he really managed to prime me and aim me at you, do you?. I'm not going to attack you again- not without a boatload of provocation." I muttered angrily, he stopped his scanning,
"The Master is a rather powerful telepath and an unscrupulous adept of mind control."
"And a Time Lord."
"A rrenegade." He rolled the r distastefully,
"He..he didn't really try- once he realised who I was, and I fed him a few emotions- fear, anger, betrayal- he said some kinda lame stuff and thought I'd go for it."
"What did he say?" Asked the Doctor curiously,
"Something about..a goldfish!" And I laughed at the ridiculous image it conjured up, "Any chance of a cuppa? I'm gaspin' here." I was beginning to feel how long this day had been,
"Yes, I suppose that might be a good idea." He put the scanner away, I caught his arm as he stood up, suddenly words were jamming in my throat, tears threatening to spill from my eyes,
"Can I stay here?" My heart was hammering in my chest, I was scared as hell, out there- the Master could get me,
"Yes, of course." He said gently.
I drank the tea, rested my aching head in my hands- he put some sugared frangipani petals on the table, I ignored them, eating them is a bit like eating perfumed air, there doesn't seem to be a point.
"Kate," he said gently, sitting down, "I'm going to have to look in your mind, for injuries, for anything nasty the Master left behind, for any details you might not comprehend that might give insight into his plans." I screwed my eyes up, but couldn't repress a shudder- I didn't want any other mind near mine at the moment, "I'm so sorry, Kate- you've been violated, I will be very careful." I was glad he was still on the other side of the table, I didn't want this now, "I'm sorry, Kate, but it's important."
I somehow managed to get the rest of my tea down my throat- mostly from habit, but I could feel myself tensing up all over, he brought his chair round to my side of the table and sat beside me.
"You're going to have to relax, I couldn't possibly look into your mind with your mental barriers up," I looked at him, surprised, "they're really rather strong for a human, probably from the discipline of controlling your own mind all these years, shielding yourself from bad memories," he was smart enough not to name them- that would have summoned them up- like always, "you're going to have to let me in." I stared at him, that was the last thing I wanted to do right now after the way he'd treated me, anger throbbed in my temples, "Kate, I need to check the Master hasn't left any of his handiwork behind."
Fair enough, I took a few unsteady breaths, nodded to him, but I couldn't help jumping when he put a hand on my forehead, my heart rate maxed out but he just kept it there, it felt cool, soothing, comforting, he murmured gently in my ear, and his other hand crept round the back of my head, combing gently through the hair, thumb rubbing softly against my scalp, then his mind was beside mine- then it was in mine- more intimate than sex, I sat bolt upright, with a sharp yelp the Doctor shot back in his chair, then he slumped. I stared at him, his eyes were closed, he wasn't moving, I couldn't feel him anymore in my mind, and I could feel something else missing as well. Truly alarmed I felt for the Doctor's pulse in his neck, at first I couldn't feel a thing, disbelieving I kept my hand there- then, very faintly, the life pulsed under my fingertips- a quick 1-2-3-4, the Time Lord hearts beat. My heart crashed against my ribs in relief, but it seemed faint- at least for a human, I lifted his chin and spoke his name, said loudly, "Doctor, Doctor, can you hear me?" tapped the face lightly with palm of my hand. No response. I dismissed rummaging in his pockets for the torch I knew he carried to check his eyes' reaction to light, I was afraid of what else I might find- those pockets seemed to have unlimited, unexpected and sometimes undetectable contents- and anyway, I didn't know what unresponsive pupil's meant, beyond deep unconsciousness.
Something in my head must've done that to him- he said the Master would leave a trap- and who would he expect to ferret it out but the Doctor? And I could feel an empty, blank bit in the angry, scared, maelstrom of my brain that hadn't been there before, it had got out into him. Time Lord mind tricks- I was way out of my depth here.
Ask the TARDIS. I could barely clear my mind to make a question- the response was instant, {Panic! Pilot has withdrawn from synthesis!} Is he alright? {Unknown. Unknown. Unknown.} I needed to get him to the medical centre, I wasn't confident I could pick him up, in my experience unconscious people are like oiled bags of suet, so I put one hand on his chest, leaned the chair back on it's legs and dragged the whole lot out into the corridor- helpfully the med centre door was wide open and the lights shining into the corridor, I dragged him in, and then heaved him up onto a bench, and then I had to stop and breath slowly for a minute to calm my mind so I could ask the TARDIS what to do. Time Lord medicine was blessedly simply- haul the monitor close to the bench, hit the button- lines began to crawl across the screen- again I was out of my depths- I queried the ship-entity, it delayed until the lines completed one traverse, and then answered {Stability is acceptable.} For how long? {10600 Gallifreyan time sub-units.} Convert to human time units. {604800 seconds.} A week. Any sign of condition changing? {No change in condition detected.} Recommended course of action? {Seek medical help} Where? {Gallifrey.} Can you pilot us there, or talk me through piloting? {Require synthesis to reach any unprogrammed destination.} Any programmed destinations with the required medical help available? {Probability of acquiring requisite medical help at programmed co-ordinates -.07%} A negative probability? We were in big trouble.
I paced the med centre, queried the TARDIS again, it couldn't come up with anything better, programmed destinations included a bunch of places I'd never heard of and the headquarters of the military bunch- UNIT- on earth who'd had the Ancilliamarinta'Plya. Exactly how much did they know about the Doctor's physiology? I tried to describe what had happened to the TARDIS, hampered by incomprehension on both sides, eventually she commented that {...major cortico-sensory regions of the pilot's brain show minimal activity, high levels of activity in memory centres.} That stopped me dead-trapped in memories or hiding in them? I asked if levels of brain activity had changed, {No change observed.} Did you observe the attack? {Noted surge of activity in neural defence, physio- and cortico-regulatory systems prior to cessation of synthesis.} Definitely an attack, then, an attempt to disrupt him physically and mentally, then a retreat to memory? Defensive? His physically and mental systems appeared to be holding at their low levels.
What the hell do I do about this?
I went to the library, searched databanks for references on Time Lord mental defences and attacks, bombarding the TARDIS with questions to which I got opaque and obscure answers. It seemed Time Lords had indulged in mental and psychic battles historically, spying on each other, laying traps, putting influences on people- what a devious lot! There was a psychic code of practice- a long one- probably as a result of this. When I queried the TARDIS on the Doctor's condition it was unchanged, but was astonished to hear {...estimate 43,200 seconds of stability remaining.} Two days! I've been researching this for two days! I hadn't even noticed it going by.
I had to do something.
Whatever the Doctor was doing in his own head, it didn't look like he was doing it fast enough. I told the TARDIS to take us to UNIT. I stood in the medical centre and watched the Doctor, he looked just like he did when I hauled him in there two days ago. I reasoned with myself: I couldn't help him physically- could I help him psychically? Even the thought made me feel slightly nauseous, I fought it down. He's said he was linked with me, could I link with him- and shock/awaken him out of it, provide a breathing space or a lure to whatever it was in his head with my unprotected mind? Or was there some way I could bolster the Doctor's defences? I paced.
My immediate problem was how to make contact with the Doctor- he'd always initiated contact, I was aware of his pah - his mental presence- but that was about it. When I'd first perceived his pah I'd been in a very relaxed state- that would probably be more conducive to contact than anything else- but I was going to have a problem achieving it. I shoved the other examination bench alongside the Doctor's, and lay down, then I tried to still my breathing, to let my mind go out, to seek. I found the TARDIS' attention hovering nervously over the Doctor- which I used as a signpost to him, he was there, the wispy cloud of his pah faint. I turned on my side and stretched out a hand and cupped the back of his neck, my fingers tingled, I struggled blindly towards that feeling of joining- of invasion accompanying the last mind meld- and I was out, sick and sweating, desperately backing away from images of the Master's assault. How the hell was I going to do this?
I needed to focus on the Doctor- not on that bastard, the Master. I needed thoughts that applied to the Doctor only, not to mind linking, not to anyone else. I calmed my breathing and thought about good memories of him, searched for powerful ideas and images I could use to get myself in against my own revulsion- sitting in the red grass and the Doctor conning me into learning to use my own mental abilities- not such a good memory. Shouting at him in exasperation when he wouldn't face what he felt- not a strong enough memory, the tall, buzz-cut Doctor leaning me out of the TARDIS to watch a black hole and laughing at my delight- good but the wrong man; meeting this Doctor for the first time- better, but is there stronger? The almost jealous look on his face when he tore me out of Avon's arms after subjecting me to a terrible rehash of my past- bad memory- bad memory! Avon's drug-enabled seduction on the slaver ship- wrong man! The Doctor's saliva sampling afterwards- and I ran headlong into longing I'd shelved, refused to admit to, rammed into a mental cupboard and turned the key, was furious with myself for still, occasionally, having: the desire to try that saliva sampling again, and to see where it led. I allowed the experience to play out in my mind, my heart kicked under my ribs. It was so powerful, I hadn't realised.
It could get me in.
I had to calm myself again, I centred my attention on his pah, my palm itched where it made contact under his neck, I balanced my attention between increasing the feeling of being close to the Doctor's mind and images enacting my desires on his body, the fear hit my gut in a wash of nausea, I concentrated just on the mental sex for a moment, I felt his mind impinging on mine and the resentment of him boiled up- I had to push that to one side and treat reaching for his mind as I did reaching for his body- there was one awkward, uneasy moment- then I was in.
Theta was at the Joining Ceremony, with his mother and father, and fifty odd cousins of Lungbarrow, each resplendent in their Colours of House, brocaded collars stiff behind their head, voluminous robes whispering quietly as Kithriarch Quencessetianobayolocaturgrathadeyyilunbarrowmas entered the second half-hour of his speech, Regel stood quietly by his side, her white hair shining.
"Old Quences can really go on a bit, can't he?" He muttered under his breath, Regel pointedly didn't react to his irreverent aside, in fact, he could feel her ignoring it- which made him smile more. Then there was the good-wishing of the family, all 63 of them present, the signing of the contracts, the exchange, and further speeches on the history and traditions of Lunbarrow House. As an afterthought- after the gathering broke up, Theta and Regel were allowed to retire to their personal areas of the House. They stood facing each other, he touched her face and they shared minds...
And the memory twisted..the whiteness of her mind suddenly tasted faintly of fear, and anger, and an upsetting undertone of physical lust, like the time he'd breached prohibition and touched an animal's mind- this could not be Regel's mind, what was it?
It was Kate and he was under attack.
I tensed all over, the Master's nasty little mind worm was in here. Then something hit me like a wall at 50 miles an hour, I lost contact with the Doctor and everything greyed out. There was a sensation like something being torn loose and flung far away by the body beside me, then I was blinking at the Doctor lying beside me on a medical bench,
"Are you alright?"
I wasn't sure, "Is it gone?"
"Yes." He said reflectively, "Quite a clever little mite- disguised itself as a fragment of an old memory, from a time we both shared."
"You knew him?" I sat up.
"Oh yes," he said darkly, "I've known him for centuries. I think," he paused, "I have a way to solve our communication problem."
Was that the problem we had?
"I'm reasonably sure it will work."
"What will?" He smiled,
"Like this." He wrapped one hand around the back of my head and drew me into a kiss, it was good, and it was engrossing- I didn't realise his mind was close to mine until it was in contact. "This will be good." He promised and I had the startling sensation of hair running through my fingers, my hair running though his hand, the touch of skin- my skin- beneath his palm, then lips touching hot/cool lips and it all got very confusing and inseparable- hands and legs and bodies- and finally...
The barriers came down, right down, reaching in and making a link she'd feel was easy.