Chance Is A Fine Thing - Chapter 3
"Maria, there is no Baroness…"
Georg's words rang in her ears. "No Baroness?" she whispered. "I-I don't understand. Just after I returned to the abbey, I heard that you had become engaged to the Baroness. I thought, I assumed…"
"No," Georg shook his head, feeling stunned that Maria thought that he had been married to the Baroness all this time. "We called off our engagement. We never married."
"You never…? Oh…!" Maria gasped and she could feel her body begin to shake. She buried her head in her hands and she tried to still her heart which was thumping widely in her chest. After all this time of thinking that Georg had married the Baroness, he hadn't? She hadn't returned to the villa assuming he was getting married but he didn't? She could have returned to profess her love for him but she hadn't. Her thoughts were in a whirl and she could barely think straight. Maria was in a state of shock.
Georg could see how distressed Maria was. He needed to explain. "Maria, when I met Elsa, I felt like my life was over. My wife had died and I had no idea how to be the father I wanted to be and I pushed everyone and everything away. Elsa, somehow, brought some meaning back into my life but yet, my life felt empty. She had been hinting at marriage for some time, but I could never commit. But then I brought her to the villa from Vienna that summer in the hope that the children would approve of her and we would make some sort of new family together, as inadequate as it would have been. I suppose I proposed to Elsa eventually as it seemed like it was expected, the right thing to do, and she accepted despite knowing that I wasn't really in love with her. Everything was planned: the perfect society wedding, but then the Anschluss happened. Suddenly everything changed. I needed to get out of Austria as quickly as I could but Elsa didn't want to go. Not that I think she was a Nazi, but I think the thought of being fugitives on the run and escaping through the mountains was not something Elsa wanted to do. She thought, like many Austrians, that submitting to the regime of the Third Reich, even though not agreeing with it, was the easiest thing to do – the path of least resistance, so to speak, and so we argued. We ended our engagement right then and she returned to Vienna that night as we fled Salzburg. I haven't seen or heard from her since."
Maria's body was still shaking as she listened to Georg. All the love for him and all the hurt that she'd been trying to hide and put behind her all these years was bubbling towards the surface. She squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed hard. Maria opened her eyes and was just about to say something when they were interrupted.
"I'm sorry folks," John, the waiter said. "We're about to shut up for the night." Maria glanced around and noticed that since they'd been talking, all the other guests had left and they were the only ones left at the restaurant.
"Yes, of course," Maria replied as brightly as she could, hoping that John hadn't noticed how upset she was. "We obviously lost track of the time," she explained, feeling her face flush. "Umm.. catching up." John raised his eyebrows questioningly but didn't say anything.
They stood and Georg paid for their meals then John retrieved their coats. They left the restaurant and into the freezing cold of the night. Maria could see her breath form as a small mist coming from her mouth after every breath and she wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck. At least it had stopped snowing. Maria shivered; partly from the temperature drop and partly from the shock of what she had just learnt about Georg. She shifted back and forth on her feet several times trying to stay warm.
There was an uncomfortable silence between them as they stood on the street. Their together night seemed to be at an end, but how could they end things at that moment knowing that there were so many things left unresolved between them? What to do now? Maria wondered. She didn't know. But however uncertain she was, she knew she had to say something.
But suddenly, they both spoke at the same time.
"Georg, I was wondering…?"
"…Maria, there's something else…"
They both laughed, feeling glad that the uncomfortable silence had been broken. Georg gestured for Maria to go first.
But as much as she desperately wanted to ask Georg more about his breakup with the Baroness and possibly his potential feelings for her all those years ago, her courage failed her. Instead she asked: "I was just going to ask where you're staying. Is it far back to your hotel?"
At her question, Georg looked disappointed, like he had hoped they would continue their conversation from dinner. He replied, "No, not far. I'm at the Regency a few blocks down the street. How about you? Where do you live? Can I escort you home?"
"About a mile or so in that direction," Maria pointed in the opposite direction to where she knew the Regency Hotel was, "and really that's not necessary, I walk home alone all the time." Maria immediately groaned inwardly at her response. She wanted to kick herself for brushing Georg off so abruptly.
"Please, I insist," Georg answered.
Maria gave a silent sigh of relief at Georg's persistence. "If you wish," Maria replied, giving him a small smile. She plunged her hands into her coat pockets to keep them warm and began to walk in the direction of home. Georg walked alongside her, in silence, but occasionally, Maria would see him out of the corner of her eye, turn his head slightly to look at her, his lips pursed together, like he wanted to say something.
Maria wished she had the courage to confess to him how she'd felt all those years ago. She also wanted to know whether he'd felt the same about her. She thought he had, especially from the way he used to look at her – it used to take her breath away! Even now, she felt breathless beside him. Yet, their time together back in Salzburg was so long ago. But even if he had felt something for her back then, it didn't necessarily mean that he still felt anything for her now. So much had happened since. But it was the unknown that was killing her. She needed to find out. Maria began to sing in her head a few lines of 'I have confidence' to herself as they walked, hoping that she'd pluck up the nerve to ask him sometime before they had to say good bye.
They were almost at her flat when Georg suddenly spoke up. "I don't think I was entirely truthful with you earlier, Maria," he admitted.
They stopped walking and Maria turned to Georg with curiosity. "There was something else. Another reason I ended my engagement to Elsa," he began. "When two people talk of marriage… Maria… I knew I couldn't marry her, not when I was in love with someone else." He looked her straight in the eye. "I was in love with you then, although I was too foolish to admit it until it was too late. I wanted to find you, to tell you how I felt. I even went to the abbey but they wouldn't let me in. Then we had to flee Salzburg and there was no time. But I never stopped thinking about you," he paused. "I'm still in love with you Maria."
His words sent a tingle throughout her body. "Oh Georg," she breathed. For years, Maria had tried so hard to forget about her feelings towards Georg. And while she had moved on with her life by marrying Bill, and she had loved Bill with all her heart, Maria knew that deep down, she'd never quite stopped loving Georg.
Before she could reply, impulsively, Georg leant down and kissed her. Maria was so stunned that she didn't kiss him back for a moment. But as he began to draw back, feeling like perhaps she didn't feel the same way, Maria threw her arms around his neck and kissed him back passionately.
As the kiss ended, Georg peppered feather-light kisses across her brow as Maria collapsed into his arms in relief. She smiled against his chest. "I don't think I was entirely truthful with you either earlier tonight, Georg," she murmured.
Georg pulled back and looked at her questioningly. "The reason why I left the villa the night of the party," Maria stated. "It wasn't because I missed the abbey."
"Then why?" he asked.
"It was because of you and how I felt about you. I was falling in love with you and it frightened me. I was there on God's errand and to ask for your love would have been wrong… so I fled. But the Reverend Mother showed me that the love between a man and woman could be holy and I was going to come back, to face you and to find out whether or not you felt the same way. I thought you did after the way you looked at me during the Laendler, but I didn't know for sure. But then I heard about your engagement to the Baroness and my heart was broken. I knew I couldn't return, or even stay in Salzburg where I could run into either you or the children so I had to leave."
"Oh my love…" Georg pulled her close again feeling anguished that he'd caused Maria so much pain and had let her go those many years ago. Why hadn't he gone after her and told her how he'd felt when he'd had the chance?
Tenderly, he pulled back and cupped her cheek with his hand. He kissed her slowly and softly, her body seeming to melt into his arms. They continued to kiss passionately until the sound of a blaring car horn brought them back to reality. Pulling apart, they had a bit of a chuckle at being caught kissing in a public street despite the lateness of the hour.
Snow started to fall as Georg glanced at his watch, but before he could say anything, Maria spoke. "My flat is just in the next block. Do you want to come up? I know It's probably not appropriate but I think we have quite a lot to talk about and I don't think either one of us is ready to say goodnight just yet."
Georg had to admit he felt like a 20-something young man with a rakish disposition, rather than the 50-something middle-aged grandfather that he was being invited up to a woman's room. To just talk, obviously, but if he had been just a bit younger, he would have been wondering whether there would be anything more. However, Georg thought he was probably getting a bit too old to be playing those types of romantic games like he'd done in his youth. Georg held out his arm and they walked together the remaining distance to her flat.
As they got to the main outside door of the terraced apartment block, Maria turned to Georg. "I'll have to sneak you in, I'm afraid. My landlady is quite traditional and doesn't approve of male visitors after a certain hour. Be careful though, there is a step about half-way up that makes the most awful creak if you step on it."
She quietly unlocked the outside door and peered around into the foyer to check whether or not her landlady's light was still on. It was off. She beckoned Georg to follow her inside and to keep to the shadows. They slowly crept up the stairs in the dark two flights, successfully avoiding the creaking step, until arriving at the top. There were two flats coming off the landing and Maria went to the left door and unlocked it with her key. Georg followed her inside and once the front door was closed behind them. Maria breathed a sigh of relief as she switched on the light. "Well, I haven't done that before," she laughed. "I always thought it would be a lot harder to sneak someone in. Glad we didn't get caught though: my landlady is almost as ferocious as Sister Berthe!"
Maria looked so bright eyed and alluring that Georg couldn't resist slipping his arms around her waist and tilting his head down to kiss her. His kiss was soft and sensual, but as he deepened the kiss, Maria hastily pulled away. Blushing and untangling herself from his arms, she said, "Maybe I should get us some tea before we get too carried away?"
Georg nodded, feeling just a tad embarrassed that he'd possibly hoped for something more than tea. She took off her coat and scarf and hung it on the nearby coat rack before gesturing for Georg to do the same. As Maria opened up the door to the adjoining room, she exclaimed, "Ooo, it's freezing in here! I'll put the heater on before I get the tea. I hope my landlady hasn't shut off the central boiler. Feel free to look around and make yourself at home." She gave Georg a quick kiss on the cheek.
Maria disappeared down the short hallway to the bedroom and turned on the heater there before doing the same in the living room. Georg wandered around the small living room. He picked up her guitar which was set up in the corner of the room. "Do you still play?" he asked Maria as she disappeared into the kitchen to make the tea.
"Sometimes, yes," she called back as she filled the kettle. "I use it when I'm practicing my singing, although I need to be careful when I practice as my landlady doesn't like too much noise."
"Sounds as though your landlady doesn't like anything very much," he remarked dryly.
"No she doesn't," Maria poked her head out from inside the kitchen. "I think at times she must be related to Sister Berthe. But at least my landlady doesn't make me kiss the floor when I see her coming. Plus the rent's cheap!"
Maria returned to the kitchen and placed the kettle on the stove. She leant her head against a nearby cupboard and covered her face in her hands. Oh help! She thought to herself. Everything had happened so quickly. Firstly running into Georg by chance after all these years, to finding out he had never married the Baroness, then Georg's declaration of love and her own confession. And finally their passionate kisses in the street and now here they were back in her flat – her mind was struggling to keep up.
She wanted, and needed, to talk to Georg about everything that had happened between them back in Salzburg, and what the future may be for them, if any. But his kisses earlier as they had arrived at her flat had rattled her. Not that she was afraid of physical intimacy, no, not at all. She had been married before, of course, and she had very much enjoyed that aspect of marriage. She wasn't naïve either; she knew what went on between men and women behind closed doors, even unmarried ones. Even though she had never succumbed to the advances of men during the war, Maria had seen enough of her friends take men into their beds for comfort and enjoyment. She knew how inviting Georg up to her flat may be perceived and that thought had sort of crossed her mind at the time. But she'd always had a tendency to be a little impulsive and slightly reckless: act first and think later – that's why she always used to be in so much trouble at the Abbey. Now that Georg was waiting for her in the room next door, she didn't want him to think that that was the reason she'd invited him up to her place. Maria just really wanted to spend time reconnecting with Georg and getting to know him all over again now that all barriers between them had come down.
The kettle started to whistle and roused Maria from her thoughts. She quickly began busied herself getting the tea ready.
While he waited for Maria, Georg continued to wander around the small living room, looking at the books on the coffee table before stopping at the mantle over the fireplace. There were two photographs: a portrait of a man in uniform and a photo of Maria with the same man, dressed in white and smiling brightly. It was obviously a wedding photo.
He picked it up to look at it more closely. At that moment, Maria returned to the living room carrying a tray of tea accompanied by a plate of shortbread. Georg put the photograph back on the mantle. "You looked happy," he remarked.
"We were happy," replied Maria with a smile, setting down the tray on the table. "It was a happy day."
"Will you tell me more about him?" Georg asked gently but Maria shook her head. "No, not right now. But I think there are a few things we do need to talk about."
Georg agreed as they sat down and Maria poured the tea. First they began talking about their time together in Salzburg when Maria was his children's governess. They exchanged stories about when they both first knew that they were falling in love with each other: laughing at pinecones and whistles, thunderstorms and row boats. Then they talked about their growing attraction to each other over the few months that followed; reminiscing about when Georg had sung Edelweiss and what had happened the moment their eyes connected, and also the night of the party and dancing the Laendler together. Georg admitted that he'd really wanted to kiss her that night and Maria confessed that she'd wanted him to kiss her too, even though it had frightened her at the time. They went on to speak about their regrets following that evening and how they had both wished things have ended differently between them. However, they both accepted, all of that was now in the past and it was time to move on.
As the night went on, and more tea and shortbread was consumed, the conversation moved on. Georg told Maria all about his new life in America and recounted stories of the children growing up, running the lodge and how they survived living through the war. Maria then revealed to Georg more about Bill and her time during to war as a singer as well. And as they talked, Maria marvelled to herself just how easy it was to talk to Georg and she was reminded of all the times back in Austria that they would talk and laugh together while the children were playing or during a walk after dinner. She felt relaxed and happy with him, and even after all this time, despite everything that had happened in the years in between, Maria knew she was more in love with Georg than ever.
Just as a natural lull in the conversation fell, the clock on the mantlepiece struck two. "2 am," Maria said softly, feeling that although it was late, she was not ready to say goodnight to Georg just yet.
"It's late," he stated. "I probably should go."
"Yes, you probably should." Maria agreed, trying not to sound as disappointed as she felt.
They both stood and looked at each other nervously for a moment, not quite sure what to do next. Although Georg had kissed Maria as soon as they'd arrived at her flat, he hadn't kissed her since. He had sensed that perhaps she wasn't comfortable or ready for more and so hadn't pushed her, preferring instead to talk.
Yet, now, as it was time to say goodnight, he wanted to kiss her again, although he wasn't sure whether she would accept his advances. So he took the safe route. He bent down to kiss her on the cheek, but just as his lips brushed against her skin, Maria turned her face so that she met his lips with her own.
Their kiss at first was slow and sensual, but very quickly, deepened and became more passionate and frantic. Maria wrapped her arms around his neck as Georg held her tight, kissing her again and again. While earlier Maria had felt rattled or possibly even scared by Georg's kisses, at that moment, they just felt right and natural and any hesitation she'd had before was gone. And as they kissed more and more, Maria felt something shift inside her. A thought, an idea, a nagging sensation, that seemed to grow and grow inside her as they kissed until it was utterly consuming her. The thought of what she wanted and what she needed, and that was him.
Breathless, Maria pulled away slightly. She felt incredibly nervous, yet exhilarated thinking about what she was about to ask him. "Will you stay?" she whispered, her heart thudding in her chest. Georg stared at her intensely for a moment, his chest heaving up and down, partly because their kisses had left him breathless but mainly because of her request. He desired her more than anything. Georg nodded yes, and let Maria lead him down the hall to the bedroom.
A/N: Thank you everyone for all the lovely reviews, especially the guest reviewers who I can't thank personally. Please continue reviewing!