I have had a very bad no good day so I decided to focus on something that brings me joy, which is writing and, by extension, sharing these stories with you. I know this one is very different from I'll Carry You Home but I hope that you are still enjoying it and, if you are, please drop a review!

Chapter warnings: sexual assault references, discussions of death/murder, medical experiments on characters

Don't forget that you can find me on tumblr: we - are - all - of - legend - now and that my ao3 account is wearealloflegendnow (even though I haven't posted there yet)!

~TLL~

Rose woke early, stretching out in her bed, glad that she was the only one in it. She pulled herself up into a sitting position, trying not to grunt too loudly. The training last night had been particularly brutal and if it had been a one-on-one session with Master, Rose probably would have suspected that he suspected that she was up to something. When he was drilling her entire class and getting them to beat one another, she knew that he was just angry about the Clan members that kept being killed by the assassin.

If Rose were a better person, it would weigh on her that the people that she was eating breakfast with this morning would be the people she was trying to kill tonight.

As it was, Rose was just glad that she was able to leave the Huntsclan early. Lao Shi hadn't specified a time for him to meet her the next day but she assumed that sooner was better. On route, her phone dinged.

Trixie: can you meet spud and I at the diner? We'll go see Gramps after

Rose almost said 'no'. She wasn't used to feeling skittish but she knew that to go to the diner now, she would be walking into an emotional minefield. She liked Trixie because Trixie was tough. Spud was the softer one of the two of them and while it meant that he was more accepting, it meant that Rose understood him less. Trixie always put on a good front and Rose was happy to let Trixie play the tough guy. She knew Trixie's was mostly just a front but it was nicer for Rose to believe that someone was as emotionless as she was.

Rose: omw

She might regret that later but the text was sent and there was no taking it back. Rose spun on her heel and made quick work of getting back to the diner, walking in and spotting Trixie and Spud at their usual booth.

"Hey girl!" called Maxim, their favourite waitress. "You want the usual?"

"Just a chocolate shake for me today!" Rose called back and then she slid into the empty booth side, facing Trixie and Spud, trying not to feel anxious that her back was to the door. "Hey."

"Don't 'hey' us," Trixie said, practically spitting. "You've been keeping a pretty big secret! You knew that we were fighting for magical creatures. When you found out how important Lao Shi and Haley were, it didn't occur to you to mention a dragon in your basement, maybe?"

"He's our best friend," Spud said, so sadly that it pierced Rose's heart. "And we trusted you too."

"I know," Rose said, wondering if the feeling coursing through her was shame. "I didn't understand what it all meant and, I know how it sounds at all, but it didn't matter whose friend or brother or whoever he was, someone was missing him and I failed to grasp that. I just wasn't ever the type of person who understood all of that until I met you. I'm with you. All of you! I want you guys to win this. The Huntsclan doesn't deserve a damn thing."

Trixie stared her down and Rose met her gaze, not backing down. Spud and Trixie were the first actual friends she'd felt like she'd ever had and, even though they'd met because of a war, they'd also given her the first – and probably only – semblance of being a normal teenager that she would ever have.

Trixie was the first one to blink.

"How is he?"

"Not very happy,' Rose admitted. "He didn't seem to trust me a lot but I can't blame him for that."

"You didn't put him down there, did you?" Spud asked.

"No," Rose promised. "I wasn't even in New York at the time. I was at a training facility in Connecticut, becoming one of the Huntsman's elite."

Rose was glad for her milkshake being dropped off. It gave her something to focus on, rather than her revulsion at herself. How excited she'd been, at that time, to be 'elite'. She had wanted nothing more than to be special to the Master. She'd lived and died by his praise from the moment she'd been born, all through the academy. She'd done all she could to get his attention – the way a daughter yearned for the love of a father. She'd felt so recognized the day he'd gifted her a staff of her very own and told her that she'd always been one of his favourites. She'd been so proud until the Master's last birthday party – when he told her that she was an adult now and that she should have some drinks with them. She hadn't been afraid to realize she had been left alone with the Huntsman and a bottle of vodka. She hadn't dared complain when the shots burnt her throat and scarred her chest. She hadn't understood what it meant when he'd slid the strap of the dress that she'd spent so long picking out off of her shoulder, but he didn't care a bit about what she was wearing.

Rose took a long drink of her milkshake, letting it cool her insides.

"We should go," Rose said. "I can't be late for Lao Shi. I can't have him thinking I ran off. I need him to trust me. I need all of you to trust me."

"We're trying," Spud promised, while Trixie said, "We're going to need a minute, I think."

Nonetheless, they walked with her to Lao Shi's shop. Both Susan and Haley were absent today and Rose was grateful for that. She didn't think she'd ever want to look at Susan again.

"So?" Lao Shi asked as soon as Rose walked in.

"I did everything you asked." After all, she was a good soldier. She'd always been a good soldier.

Rose knelt down by Fu Dog's low table and laid out all of the evidence and blueprints. "It was all I could get my hands on in one night. I'll keep looking."

Lao Shi grunted, busy going through her phone to see the pictures and videos of Jake, Fu Dog peeking anxiously over his shoulder.

"I'll brew up some other things," Fu said. "I'll help him get better."

"Fast," Lao Shi said. "We'll do what we can but he's going to have to be able to fight his way out."

"There's no way to open the shackles without setting off alarms so whatever moment we pick has to be the right one," Rose said.

"What moment would you recommend?" Lao Shi asked.

"That depends on what you want to accomplish," Rose said carefully, recognizing that this was a test. "If your only goal is to get Jake, you should wait until January eighth – that's when the Huntsquarters will be the emptiest. If you would like to rally all of your troops and take down as many Clan members as possible, it should be December twenty-third or twenty-fourth. Everyone comes in from the other facilities for the holidays and to get their assignments for the new year."

"We should just go get Jake," Spud said, "and risk less lives."
"But we'll all be there to have each other's backs," Trixie said. "Wouldn't this be our best chance to take the Clan down and stop all this fighting in the streets crap? Besides, there's no way for Rose to help us without revealing herself!"

Rose didn't think that mattered, in the end. She fully believed that she was either going to be executed by the Huntsman or the Dragon Council when this was all over. From either perspective, she'd committed war crimes.

"It's not about me," Rose said. "It's about what's best."

"If we go in and get Jake, they will close ranks tighter," Lao Shi said. "This is a chance that we won't be given again. We must rally the troops and put in one last call to the Council. We only have a month."

Rose's hands clenched. One month and she'd be able to watch it all burn.

"Will Jake be good to go in a month?" Trixie asked. "Gramps, you were the one who said he's going to have to fight his way out."

"He's the American Dragon; he'll have to be," Lao Shi said solemnly. "Rose, when will be the best for you to start training with Haley?"

"Tuesdays," Rose said. "It's easier to get away on Tuesdays."

"Tuesday," Lao Shi repeated and then nodded. "I want everyone there. We need every advantage we can get. Spud, Trixie, Fu, pay rapt attention. You will need to teach the other soldiers what Rose teaches us. We cannot let anyone see her and guess at how we got this information."

They turned into conversation about who would teach who, where, and when. Rose turned away from the conversation, knowing that it wasn't for her. This place, this world, wasn't for her, but neither was the one that she was supposed to inherit. She followed Fu as he started pulling ingredients off his shelves, organizing as he went.

"Can magic really undo all of the damage?" Rose asked. "Can this fix him?"

Fu shrugged. "I'd do better if I could get close to him and know the exact nature of his injuries. As it is, I'm just throwing all the healing potions I can at him and hoping that it's enough."

"I'll try and get you his file and the experiments they ran on him," Rose said. "It should detail anything that they gave him or took from him or broke."

Fu's claws clinked aggressively around the glass jar he was grabbing. "Experiments."

"I can tell you that he had several claws removed, the scales sheared from his back left half, and several biopsies done of his fire sacs. There was a ban on any amputations or things that could cause permanent damage. Until we got our hands on another dragon, the Huntsmaster wanted this one as intact as possible."

"Intact," Fu said but it sounded like he was just choking on his tongue.

"Yeah." There was nothing else that Rose could say. She knew how it sounded. She knew how it looked that she had never questioned it. They were just the facts.

"Any information you get would be … appreciated."

Fu looked ill and Rose left him alone.

She caused damage everywhere that she went. Even her best intentions hurt those around her. She stared down at her hands and then nudged down her sleeve to reveal the edge of her Huntsmark, staring at it like she was being hypnotized. Being here, in this house, as part of the revolution, this was her redemption. And she still worried that she was hurting more than she could ever help.

At least she was worrying. At least it was a sign that not all of her was as awful as she feared. Hopefully.

Maybe.

"We should find a way to communicate with you inside of the Clan," Lao Shi said.

Rose shook her head. "You think they're not going to notice an unauthorized signal? I play with enough fire as it is, pretending to be on one of the Ops missions with the Huntsclan when I'm really with you." She laughed bitterly. "You know the Huntsman has me chasing myself? He gave me a special mission to hunt out and kill your famous assassin that keeps taking down his Clan members."

It was a suicide mission, either way, Rose supposed, but she refused to hang herself in some remote corner of the world. If she was going down, she was going down fighting for what was right.

"Still, we should find a better way to get in touch with you other than just meeting times," Trixie said. "What if something happens to you? How are we supposed to know?"

"I'll check in regularly but it is so monitored in those walls, it'll have to be when I'm outside of them."

"We still need something, so that you can hear us and we can hear you, if we end up on opposite sides of battle."

"I'll patch you into the Huntsclan's communications network," Rose offered, "but I can't wire myself."

"That'll have to do," Lao Shi said, but she could tell he didn't like it.

"I'll tell you everything I know about what they're planning and where they're going to be," Rose offered, though she had been subtly doing that all along. She didn't want to be the one to tell Lao Shi that it was another thing that he had missed. "But, I have to go."

"Why?" Spud asked. "What are you going to do?"

"One on one with the Huntsman," Rose said, sounding so casual about it that she impressed herself. "I can't be late."

"These potions won't be ready," Fu said. "I'm not that fast."

"I'll drop you off a key and the way to get to my storage locker. We can use it as a drop point," Rose said, "but, for now, I really have to go."

"I should have that key by morning," Lao Shi said, and Rose could feel the warning in his tone.

"Of course. I'll see you guys later."

If anything, they looked even more tense than yesterday when she had left them behind. The reality was setting in and they had a date to march. What they were calling a war was going to seem like small skirmishes compared to what was going to be waiting for them when they stormed the Huntsclan. As Rose walked back to her storage locker to change, she tried to imagine the nervousness that they were feeling, but she couldn't grasp it. She was ready. She was ready to lose herself to a sea of blood and dragon fire, even if it was the last thing that she ever saw.

She was early for her meeting with Master, just as he preferred. She warmed up with her staff, keeping an eye on him in the corner of the gym as he finished up with his last class. Rose knew that he wasn't going to greet her or give her a chance to ready herself. Either he was going to come after him herself or there were going to be other Clan members hiding in the rafters to ambush her, to see if she could fight her way to him and still have the strength to fight him.

It was just Rose and the Huntsman alone today. The second that he had dismissed his students, he whipped around with a bow and arrow – a weapon that Rose had never seen in his hands before but that he used with expert ease. Rose dived away from the arrow, getting her feet under her as quickly as possible, calculating the type of bow and the type of arrow and where Master would need her for that weapon to the most useful to him. Not that Rose was stupid; the Huntsman had more than one weapon on him, and she would have to try and guess what those were too. He had trained her well.

As they rushed into hand to hand combat, Rose let the thought of war fill her bones. She imagined the Master's face when the magical creatures stormed the Huntsquarters, when she let the dragon out of his hold, when he realized that she had been a traitor in his midst all along. She would take the time to tell him, before she killed him, that he had made her a traitor. She was a weapon of his own design.

Rose let out a feral growl as the Huntsman's heavy arm came down on her hard enough that she felt her bones shake. She threw herself at him with a fury, the edges of her vision going bright red as she gave into her anger. It was something that she had always been told not to do, that to stay focused she needed to let all emotion go and just analyze. It was something that she had never been good at; when she smelled blood, there was no bigger picture for her.

Rose got the tip of her staff to the Huntsman's throat. It took every speck of inner strength to not drive it through his skull. Instead, she stayed there, the Huntsman's weapons on the ground, until he nodded at her, satisfied.

"I call the match."

Rose lowered her staff slowly. Trickery was not uncommon. But Master really seemed to accept defeat this time.

"That was a good fight, Huntsgirl," he said, petting her hair. "Whatever was driving you there, hold onto it. Don't let too much passion get into your head, though. You were unfocused. If someone else had come around from the side, you wouldn't have noticed it until it was too late."

"Yes, Master," she said, staring at her shoes instead of his face.

His hand touched the back of her neck and despite the exercise, Rose suddenly felt cold all over.

"Come see me after supper," the Huntsman said. "I'll be waiting for you."

"Yes, Master," Rose said, trying to put more feeling into the words than she was capable of. She knew he wouldn't like the monotone drone of a good soldier. Not about this.

Master caressed her one more time while Rose struggled to stay still until he dismissed her. She walked without running out of the training arena, wishing that she had time to sit and scrub herself in the shower, but she had things to do. She breezed through the communal changing and showering area, taking her sweaty self upstairs to her own private bathroom. She showered quickly and then escaped out of the Clan, keeping her eyes and ears peeled. She had been leaving a lot recently and though she didn't believe that Master would be the effort into spying on her, she couldn't be too careful. If she were followed now, she would lead them to Lao Shi's shop, the headquarters of the magical resistance.

Copy keys, write out directions, drop it off with Lao Shi, be told that there would be potions for her to collect from the storage locker tomorrow, make it back to the Huntsclan in time for dinner.

That was the important part. The Huntsman might not be concerned with how she spent the majority of her days but if she wasn't in the Clan at night, she knew she'd rouse his concern. She took her meal alone, as she always did, spreading a book and a notepad out in front of her so that she would look busy and remain unbothered. Normally, it worked. Rose had no desire to be friendly with the people around her, knowing that she might kill them, knowing they might try to kill her, knowing they were all complicit in the kingdom of pain that the Huntsman had built. Tonight it was no different, except that she took her time with her food, knowing that Master was waiting on her. She wondered what Spud and Trixie were doing tonight, if they were having a moment of being teenagers or if they were in the training arena. She thought of Jake in the basement. If things were different, would he be having dinner with Haley and Susan and his father tonight? It didn't matter; Rose was still going to be sitting here. This was still her life.

Rose forced herself to stand and go to the Huntsman's room. The only thing worse than going was to make him come looking for her.

Rose knocked at his door, hoping, as she did every time, that he wouldn't be there – that he would have forgotten.

"Enter," the Huntsman said.

So, she did.