TW: Domestic Violence, Alcoholism.
Chapter 2 - Lost in His Head
"Okay Thorson, let's wrap this up, we go in, nab our guy, back to the station to end the shift. He is not presumed armed or dangerous, according to Harpers intel says he should come quietly providing we move cautiously"
Aaron nods "yes, Sir. Im set" he confirms as he approaches the property. Tim takes point as they knock on the door "Mr. Carmichael, Its Sergeant Bradford and Officer Thorson, You know the drill. Come out peacefully and we get get this sorted quickly"
Silence, Then loud knocking as Tim repeats "Mr. Carmichael! Please open the door".
Silence again as Tim confirms he is making entry, he opens the door and a sharp pain shoots across the left side of his neck and down his should, his breath is stunted as he hears a scuffle. He watches Aaron cuff the now disarmed man. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion. Tim bought his right hand up to his neck feeling warm fluid coat his hand, he stares at the blood, shock, he knew this feeling, he hasn't felt like this in a long time.
The next thought he processed was hitting the floor gasping for air and pressure being placed on his neck or shoulder, he cannot pin point what one.
"Control 7-Adam-19, 1 suspect in custody, Officer Down, we need paramedics at our location, asap, I repeat, Sergeant Tim Bradford has been shot."
Shot? Again? Tim thought to himself, he wonders if he will ever get used to this warm, burning pain, he assumes he never will.
"Sir! No! Stay with me, stay awake, Sergeant Bradford!"
"L...Lucy..." is the only thing he can whisper.
Tim slips into an unconsciousness. He is out, whatever happens around him now is not on his plane of experience. He is now lost in the miles of his own mind, memories and worries now.
Memories/Thoughts/Worries and Dreams.
* "Timothy!!! Get your arse out here now! The longer you hide the worse it will get!" Tim holds Genni, his finger to his lips, they are young, Tim only 7 years old, but he has learnt how to keep his sister safe, as much as he can.
"Timothy! Now! Or I will come find you and Gennifer!"
* With that Tim emerges from their hiding space, he stands tall, terrified, his drunken father staggering out of the kitchen, Tim didn't shed the tear threatening to fall. He knew better, A tear makes it worse, he learnt from experience.
Before Tim could ask him what was wrong, or try to de-escalate the situation he felt his head come into contact with the dry wall, leaving a small hole, this curled into a ball holding his head, taking deep breaths, trying his hardest to stay strong and not cave into the paid he felt, his drunken father slurring insults at him telling him to get out of his face.
* He is suddenly in the middle of Griffiths park, only a compass in hand. "A real man can find his way home, you are a /real/ man, aren't you Timothy?" With that Tom Bradford drove off, Tim took hours trying to get home, scared, cold and worried.
* A flash and he is in Afghanistan, Shots firing from all angles, his friends going down, loss, fear and pain, He has to stay strong for his men, His team, His family.
* He is sitting in an empty apartment, staring at a piece of paper.
'I'm sorry - I'
She was gone, His wife, the love of his life, he watched her slip away from him, let her fall into this pit of addiction, he should have pulled her out of the UC, convinced her before she fell too deep, it is too late now, she's gone. And she stayed gone for nearly a year.
* He approaches his new boot, she's small, won't last 5 minutes on the streets, how did she get through the academy training? All sunshine and roses, he will see that fades and she realises the gravity of the job.
* "WHERE ARE WE BOOT?! IVE BEEN SHOT, WE NEED BACK UP, WHERE ARE WE?"
He could have laughed at how scared she looked but this was real, she needed to know how much attention is required for both of their safety.
Little did he know that later that day after he instigated a fight with bikers to test her reaction, that she would save his life after getting shot.
That wasn't the first time she saved his life, his ass.
* When he considered hiding drugs for his wife...ex-wife, separated wife, she showed up. She made some good points, though at the time he was pissed off, pissed that she thought he would actually risk his career, pissed that she thought it was her business to get involved in. But he also gained some respect for the rookie, she spoke out for what she believed in and it gave him hope she could be an amazing cop.
* He is shutting the door between them, an infected man lying, dying in the room with him, in contact with his blood, he knows his clock is going to expire if they don't get this vaccine, he sits back against the door, talking to his boot, the rookie has become a key part to his life, he will never tell her, he also knew if he didn't close that door, isolating him and the other victim, that same book would be in the room with him, he couldn't deal with having killed her, what is this hold she has on him? She's just a rookie he tells himself, he protected her how he would any of his team.
* "Officer Chen is missing, her car is at the bar she was seen entering last night, she is seen leaving with..." The rest of the roll call fades away, she's missing, he knows for a fact it is his fault, he pushed her to go on that date. He has to find her.
A blink and he's staring into the dessert, a twinkle catches his eye and he has found her, they dig a barrel up, her singing ringing through his head, they had links to the feed of her in that barrel "...dream a little dream of me"
She's unconscious, he pulls her close, pleading for her to wake up, he can't lose her, he has just let her into his head, a little into his heart, he was full of jealousy when Caleb gave her his number, he snatched it without thinking, hoping she didn't see the jealousy flash across his face.
she suddenly clings to him crying and he just holds her, close, his lips resting against the top of her head, she's safe now, but no thanks to him.
* They're standing outside his fathers hospice room. He has tears in his eyes, "the Tim tests, they don't make me like him..." He was looking for assurance more than stating a fact to her, she looked full of regret as she assured him that she knew and pulled him into her arms. How did he let her see him so vulnerable, let her know so much of his past, did he love her?
* "yo, why you looking like me?" Despite almost being twins, Tim denied it, this guy was the image of him, but greasier with more of a gut. His girlfriend was the image of his former rookie. They went undercover as Dim and Juicy, fun nicknames the team had decided for them.
Before heading out, Tim suggests they practice kissing in case they need to while undercover, an awkward peck before Lucy takes charge kissing him deeply, but it was pretend right?
Well, not pretend enough, he ended it with Ashley that night, because he knew from that moment, even if he didn't act on it, his heart belonged to Lucy.
* In the airplane bathroom, Tim checks in on how Lucy is feeling, assuring her they can back out whenever she wants, before they head out they makeup, keeping up with appearances, this wasn't pretend, he was certain.
Her face and her natural glow, her smile and deep brown eyes is all he can see, he needs to come back for her, he can't leave her behind, not before telling her how he really feels.
Reality
Hearing comes back first, monitors bleeping, people rushing around outside the room. He's taking in his surroundings, very slowly. The room is bright, he can feel the IV in his arm and the oxygen tube in his arm, a nurse walks in to check on him. "L..." He tries to call out before the nurse shuts him down.
"Sergeant, don't talk, you still need rest, if you like I can send in your sergeant?" Tim slightly shook his head, stopping when he feels the pull on his neck. "Oh, how about the young lady waiting with him?"
She smiled when she's met with a thumb up. The Nurse leaves, shortly after a small frame, a messy bun, his bloody shirt wrapped around her, Grey by her side steadying her, Tims eyes tear up seeing her in such a state. He blinks trying to take her in he reaches a hand to her.
Grey guides her in into the chair beside his bed, she sits down. "I'll check back later, glad to see you're awake, Bradford' Grey says as he takes leave.
Once the door shuts Tim's hand reaches Lucys cheek and wipes a falling tear gently. Her hand reaches up to his and she leans into his hand.
"You must feel so embarrassed that your Ex Rookie put her worries for you before the job..." She whispered, unsure of what to say, she feels a gently tug of her hand she follows the pull, Tim pulls her into his arms kissing the top of her head, he keeps pulling till she crawls into the bed with him. They lie there, motionless, he holds her, despite being the one physically hurt, he has to protect her. He has decided she is his to protect, even if she doesn't accept it, even if she doesn't feel the same way, He will dedicate his life to this woman.
He tries to speak but its strained and gargled. She slowly looks up at him, staring into his eyes, "I thought you left me, Tim. I was so scared you were gone, you're normally so cautious" he hugs her tighter in response. They lie like this for a few hours.
Grey returns with some water and painkillers for Tim. "Sorry for interrupting" Lucy shoots to move away from Tim, calming at a tighter grip from Tim and a hand held up by Grey.
'Please, don't get up. You're fine Chen."
Tim sips the water before taking the painkillers. The sip confirmed he would be able to swallow with low pain, his voice low and raspy as he states "He was not known to be armed sir..." He is stopped by Grey and he interrupts "That's for when you are fully recovered, right now we need you to be healed and return to work, I can't be down 2 officers for too long, I will be putting Officer Chen as your carer while you heal"
Lucy looks confused "Sir, I don't think Ashley would take too kind for me being in their home..."
Grey Looks like he put his foot in his mouth, staring at Tim as Tim whispers "We haven't been together for about 3 months now..."
On that note grey leaves placing a Tupperware of soup on the side, giving them privacy to discuss the bomb he just dropped.
As the door shuts, Tim avoids eye contact when Lucy asks "when?".
"After our UC, It hadn't been working for a while. It was for the best."
She nods, debating on telling him about her and Chris. Looking into his eyes she caves and realises she doesn't want to keep anything from him, "Chris left me...after our double date, he said he will not be second best to a cop"
Tim processes what she says. She's single, there's nothing stopping him, nothing apart from his position as her sergeant, a line he shouldn't cross, but here they are, she's sitting in his shirt, she had sat outside waiting for him, judging by how tired and sick she looks, she has done nothing but worry for him, he has to ask, "why are you wearing that?"
She blinks looking down, "um," she tries to think of a good enough excuse, coming up blank "I thought I had lost you for good, They told me my officer was down...AN OFFICER!" She quickly corrected as her cheeks flushed, Tim smiled, amused at the mistake, recalling a song he had once heard on cliptok. He pulls her in kissing her head, leans close to her ear and whispers "I am /your/ officer, Lucy. I have been for a while"
She stares at him, chewing her lower lip, staring into his eyes, they look so sure, and she feels a warmth rise within her stomach and she curls back into his arms closing her eyes. They both drift off into a much needed sleep.