The Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition Season 10 Round 6: Songs of Ice and Fire

A/N: Muggle AU, changed the age gap between S&R and Fred. They're ~21 and Fred is 15.
CW: Mild language

WORD COUNT: 2408

CHASER 3: Hands of Gold

OPTIONAL PROMPTS:
[pairing] Remus/Sirius
[character] Fred Weasley
[dialogue] "You stab them with the pointy end."

Thanks to Autumn for beta-ing!

Credit to Life Finds A Way on AO3 by toast_boy for the lettuce/brie/olives.

Secret Treasure (i love you)

If there was one word to describe where Remus Lupin was now, it would be cold.

The freezing sea crept up the stone-encrusted sand, which warranted shrieks from unexpecting sun-bathers. In the background, children whined about the temperatures and wanting to go home, but to Remus and Sirius, it was like a tropical resort. Just escaping London for a day was a holiday. Not that they got very many of those with the build up of work sent from their university.

"Hey, boyfriend," Sirius whispered from where he was lying on his beach towel.

Remus grinned and replied, "Yes, boyfriend?"

"I just remembered…"

"Mhm?" Remus interrupted lazily.

"I just remembered that we're dating."

Remus rolled his eyes. It must've been the third time this week that Sirius had such a revelation. "I hate you."

Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus. "No you don't."

He laughed and moved closer to Sirius. "You're right." He planted a kiss on Sirius' cheek. "I really love you."

"God, what a loser," Sirius huffed. "I love you too," he added, beaming, when he caught sight of Remus' pouting face.

He shuffled closer towards Remus and leant in for a kiss.

Their lips met and Remus' eyes widened. "Oh my God!" he squealed, pulling away. "Cold, cold, cold."

"Wha– Shit, the water's caught us."

"Run!" Remus grabbed his bag and soaked towel. "Ugh, they're already wet."

"Stupid sea," grumbled Sirius. "We were getting to the good bit."

Remus winked. "We can recreate it."

Sirius glanced down at their ankles, which were planted in the water. "Not now, though."

"Obviously. I meant in the car, where it's dry and not covered in sand."

Sirius nodded. "Good call." He led Remus away from the beach and towards the pier.

They stood with dripping clothes in front of an arcade. "Please can we go in?" Remus begged, his eyes lit with excitement.

"Of course." Seeing Remus so joyful would make Sirius agree to anything.

Remus rushed inside and instantly advanced in the direction of a large, yellow machine. He opened his bag and loaded the machine so full of coins that Sirius thought it might break.

If Sirius was shocked at the amount of money that Remus had put into the machine, he was most definitely astonished at what had come out of it. A stream of pennies poured into multiple plastic cups, with several coins spilling out onto the neon, patterned carpet.

"C'mon, Siri!" he whined as he realised that Sirius was still standing agape at the entrance. Remus spirited towards the back of the arcade where two pence pusher machines lined the walls.

Sirius watched with surprise as Remus started to shove money into the chutes of one of the many pusher machines. He stared in disbelief as two plastic cups' worth of two pence coins disappeared in a matter of minutes. In fact, Remus was already starting the third cup by the time that Sirius had walked over.

"So close…" Remus said to himself.

Sirius, who had been watching Remus for a while now, suddenly exclaimed, "Oh! I get it now. It's like Tipping Point."

Remus looked up as he grabbed another handful of coins. "Babe… I love you, but what are you doing with your life?"

"At least I'm not gambling all of my money away–"

"It's only five pounds!" Remus protested.

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "For an octopus keyring?" he questioned, pointing at the prize teetering on the edge of the coin pusher.

Remus made a face and went back to the game. "Stop being mean."

"Love you too," Sirius whispered, a stupid smile spreading across his face.

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes yet again, but Sirius could see a grin just as idiotic as his own tugging at Remus' lips.

"I'm hungry," Sirius complained as they stepped out of the arcade.

He had stayed in the arcade watching Remus for three hours. That wasn't a problem, though. Sirius had quite enjoyed seeing Remus having such fun. It was rather amusing to see his boyfriend's determination to get the octopus keyring. However, the amount of money that he had spent trying to win the prize was not so amusing.

"Twelve pounds?!" Sirius had exclaimed when Remus had loaded more of the cups with coins.

But it was all worth it seeing how elated Remus was.

I did love doing this, I really did, but next time I'm giving him a spending limit, he thought.

"So?"

Remus' comment brought him back to the present, back to the cobble path they were walking on, and back to the realisation that his stomach was growling very noisily.

Remus, however, wasn't focused on that. He kept smiling at his keyring and rubbing its face with his thumb. For a small moment, Sirius thought that he was going to kiss it.

"I'm hungry," he repeated more urgently.

"I know, Padfoot," Remus huffed. "We'll get something to eat."

Sirius nodded and wrapped his arms around Remus and tried not to trip over the uneven pavement whilst they searched for a restaurant.

"Maybe, uh, the chippy?"

"Anything will do," Sirius sighed dramatically.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Drama queen."

Sirius stuck his tongue out at Remus.

"We're here."

A faint ding echoed around the empty fish and chip shop as they opened the door.

Behind the counter, a smiley ginger welcomed them. "'Ello, what'll it be, lads?"

"George?" Sirius gasped. "Fancy seeing you here."

He frowned and his face darkened. His face displayed an 'uh oh! here comes trouble' look. "First of all, mate, I'm Fred. Second, I bloody work here."

"No…" Remus squinted. "I'm sure you're George."

Fred crossed his arms. "No one takes me seriously here. George doesn't even work here anymore!" he paused. "Broken ear," he added, motioning towards his left ear.

Sirius chuckled. "Nope. Still think you're George."

"Piss off!"

"We would, but it wouldn't be good for your business," Remus remarked. By now he was sifting through their menu. "Speaking of, we'll take a large cod and chips."

Fred's eyes widened. "For two of you? Bloody hell! You'll never finish it."

"You underestimate Rem," said Sirius wearily, knowing full well that his boyfriend could probably eat their order as a light meal.

"Right, it'll be done soon. Let me just give the kitchen a shout. OI! MARY!"

From behind double doors came a yell. "What is it, Weasley?"

"Large cod and chips!" he bellowed.

"Righty-ho!"

"OI!" Fred pushed open the doors to the kitchen and stuck his head in. "I can get you fired for that!"

Sirius turned to Remus and they both suppressed giggles.

Mary sighed. "Yeah, yeah."

"Go back to your farm, Macdonald," retorted Fred, giving Mary a choice finger. He turned back to Sirius and Remus, who were laughing uncontrollably. "Lads, your food will be out in a few minutes. Hopefully, Mary doesn't burn it again!" he raised his voice for the kitchen staff to hear. "So, cash or card?"

Upon hearing these words, Remus started rifling through his bag. "Aha!" he cried as he pulled out his debit card. "Card, please."

"No, babe, allow me." Sirius barged in front of Remus, brandishing his own debit card.

Remus pushed Sirius out of the way. "Ignore him." He tapped his card on the reader. "Siri, find somewhere to sit."

"Yup, all good. Receipt?"

Remus nodded. He took the receipt from Fred and joined Sirius, who was sitting next to the window.

"Hey," Remus said softly. "Are you having fun?"

Sirius bit back a smile. How could Remus think that he was having anything but fun? "The most."

"You're not just saying that, are y–"

"Remus. Stop. I love you and I'm always happy around you." Sirius squeezed Remus' hand under the table.

"Am I interrupting anything?" A brown-haired girl stood over their table, carrying a steaming tray of food.

"Of course not," Remus answered quickly.

She smiled. "Good. I'm Mary, by the way. I cooked this." She placed the tray on the round table.

"Nice to meet you," Sirius gushed. "I totally love your hair, like, oh my God, those curls? To die for!"

Mary looked at Remus, confused.

"He has a thing for curls," he explained, motioning towards his own curled hair.

Mary nodded and smiled. "I'll leave you two alone then," she said with a wink.

Remus flushed bright red.

"Moony," Sirius whined. "The packaging isn't opening."

He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Sirius." Remus snatched the food from Sirius and popped open the container. "It's so easy."

"Where's my fork?" Sirius searched the container, but only found a wooden stick.

"You really haven't been in a chippy before, have you?" he sighed. Remus snatched the stick from Sirius' grasp. "I'll dumb it down for you. You stab them," he pointed at the chips with the stick, "with the pointy end," he touched the top, sharpened end of the tiny skewer.

"I don't get it."

Remus tried to stop himself from sighing yet again. He grabbed his own container of chips, opened it, and impaled one.

Shocked, Sirius stared at Remus. "That was rather violent!"

"You'll be next," he muttered, spearing another chip.

"What do I do with the fish?" Sirius asked, choosing not to hear Remus' remark.

Remus pulled forward the fish container, opened it, and lifted the battered cod to his mouth. "Eat it."

"Re–"

"Bloody 'ell!" Fred appeared behind them. "I come over to check on you and what do I see? Remus chomping a large fillet of cod drizzled with ketchup. Looks like a murder scene, mate!"

Sirius shook his head. "It's not the worst thing he's done."

"What?" Fred asked, clearly invested in Remus' eating experiences.

"I came into the kitchen once, and what did I see? My boyfriend eating lettuce like a normal person? Of course not. A full head of lettuce, over the sink, Caesar dressing in his hand." Sirius paused. "Like an apple!"

"Shut up!" Remus shouted. "You eat questionable things all of the time, Sirius. Did I not witness you taking a big bite into a wheel of brie last week?"

"That's different!" Sirius protested.

Fred smirked. "Mary's worse. She picks olives out of the jar with her fingers."

"Stop spreading rumours!" she cried from the kitchen.

"Then get back to work!" he yelled back.

Sirius said, as they walked out of the fish and chip shop, "That was amazing. Best meal I've ever had."

"Once you knew how to eat it," Remus teased.

Sirius pouted, which caused Remus to chuckle.

"Give me your hand," he demanded.

Remus obliged – after all, his hands felt like blocks of ice.

"Moony! You're freezing."

He shrugged. "Must be the sea air."

They walked in silence, before Sirius murmured, "Still can't believe you didn't let me pay. I have plenty of money!"

"But, Sirius, I wanted to tre–"

"Look where you're going, mate!" someone called out as Sirius nearly walked into them. Remus wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that they interrupted the near-quarrel.

"Fred?" Sirius spluttered. "But you were just–"

The man looked annoyed. "I'm not Fred! I'm fucking George, you twat."

"I– You look very similar," Sirius said defensively.

"No, we don't." He pointed at his ear, which was wrapped in a bandage.

"Oh– Yes– How is your ear? I heard that you had to have surgery on it." Remus stepped in.

George's expression softened. "It's fine. It's healing."

Remus nodded. "We'll be on our way then. Give our love to Molly."

"What?" George cupped a hand around his ear.

"Give our love to Molly!" he shouted.

"Will do, mate. Great seeing you."

"How did you do it?" Sirius whispered to Remus as George walked away.

"First of all, I didn't insult him," he whispered back, suppressing an eye roll. Was Sirius really that thick?

They walked down the street, trying (and, in Sirius' case, failing) not to topple over. It had started getting darker, so they had decided on heading back to the car.

"I want ice cream," Sirius demanded.

Remus laughed. "Did you see someone with an ice cream again?"

"... No."

"I think you did!" He kissed the top of Sirius' head.

"Fine," Sirius admitted. "Please can we get ice cream?"

Remus sighed. "The things I do for you," but he turned around and walked to the nearest ice cream shop (Cone-o and Juliet) all the same.

"I love you, Remus!" Sirius' eyes sparkled with delight as he stared at the multitude of flavours and toppings through the shop's windows.

Remus' eyes, however, were littered with disgust at the prices.

"Inflation's really hit hard, huh?" he muttered, but Sirius was too busy deciding what cone to have to hear.

"Okay," Sirius said finally. "I think I'll have salted caramel and, hear me out, coffee."

"Uh, love, we aren't buying here." He kept his voice low.

Sirius' jaw dropped. "Why not?"

"It's far too expensive," Remus told him as he led them toward the car.

"You promised–"

"I didn't promise anything," Remus laughed. "But, you know what? We'll stop at Tesco on the way home. We can get double the amount for the same price there."

Sirius squealed. "Double ice cream? Oh my God! I'm getting double ice cream!" He ran to the car and flung open the door. "Let's go! Let's go!"

Remus rolled his eyes, but a large smile remained on his face. "You really are a dog, aren't you?"

Sirius responded by reaching over from the passenger seat and giving Remus' cheek a lick.

"Ew! Save that for the ice cream!"

Remus regretted saying the words 'ice cream' as soon as he said them, because he knew full well that he was now subject to an entire car ride of "Ice cream!"

Yet he chuckled when Sirius delivered on his promise of parroting, "Ice cream! Ice cream!" for the next minute.

"You're ridiculous. A real child."

Sirius stuck out his tongue.

"And yet I love you."

"Haha! You said you love me," Sirius screeched. "No take-backsies!"

"We can always just go straight home–" Remus began.

"Okay, fine, I'll act normal."

"What? You acting normal?" he said with faux-shock. "Is today opposite day?"

"If it is then I hate you so, so much and never want to see you again or get married."

Remus' heart fluttered. Oh, how lucky he was to have someone who understood him. How lucky he was to have Sirius.

How lucky he was to have found his secret treasure.