TBB - I ain't missing you at all? (CROSS/HUNT)
By Gun Roswell
Preface
Suffering in silence
The intel was right
I am here for you, always
Preface
Set somewhere in the space time continuum of the Bad Batch galaxy of things
Timeline? What Timeline? Canon? What Canon? A Multiverse? For sure!
Crosshair is in the hands of Dr Hemlock. The intel was pretty clear on that. Hunter knows this now.
But he is reluctant to do anything about it.
After all, Crosshair made his choice. Right?
And Hunter? Hunter isn't missing Crosshair. At all?
Part of Crosshair/Hunter series
Notes:
Set around TBB S2. The mission on Barton-4 went differently. The two parter finale did not happen.
A short ficlet about feelings of loss, bad blood lingering and missing one's partner.
Suffering in silence
'Left behind? Or having remained behind by choice? What really was the difference? They… he should have known better… But there was nothing to do about it now. Right?'
He had been probed, poked and subjected to intense electricity. Blood having been drawn in such quantities Crosshair had begun to suspect there would be nothing left soon enough. All done in the name of progress! At least if Dr. Hemlock was to be believed. As it seemed the 'good' doctor did believe in his own lies. Being quite delusional of his own abilities as were the rest of the minions around him.
Crosshair did not believe him though. Not for a second. This was pure and utter torture by any other name. Nothing more, nothing less. Having peaked the ever present glimmer in the Doctor's eyes when he thought no one was looking. The satisfaction the imperial scientist got from all of this. The mistreating of others. Sure, Emerie Karr had told him, urged Crosshair to cooperate. And he had done so. To a point.
As it was now, Crosshair did not exactly trust Emerie either despite her showing some compassion for the sniper''s plight. Still, it could well have been all an act on her part. The good trooper bad trooper routine the soldiers had sometimes played for the benefit of their prisoner's during interrogation.
Part from the stint running amok when trying to send out the message out to the Batch after hearing the imperials wanted the Kid. Omega. Warning them of the looming danger. Hoping only to have been successful. Because if he had then at least he could die in peace. Not having to worry them not being safe. The Batch. His Batch. His… family. Because it was how Crosshair still felt for them. Missing them…
Oh for karks sake!
Feelings! Emotions! Since when did he have those? Guess Crosshair always had had them though even if he would never admit to such. But he had said some… things to Hunter which could be considered those. Feelings!
As much as he hated to admit it, Crosshair missed them all. Even… Omega? Yes, he missed them all that was true. They were part of him. Cutting them off, out from his life was like cutting off a limb. The ghost of it haunting there forever. Somehow he had managed to do just that, but the pain present there no matter how hard he had tried to ignore it. Tried to ignore what had been. When he had still been… happy? Yeah, Crosshair had been happy. With his Batch. With… Hunter.
But that was all over now. Crosshair had made his choice all that time go. Back on Kamino. Letting them fly away from him once again. And so here he was, the once supposedly proud soldier of the Empire lying on the bed of his own making. Literally.
How wrong Crosshair had been! Betting on the Empire. Finally admitting it to himself.
Sure there were plenty of regrets, blame even to go around. But as Crosshair lay there strapped to the med bed with the needle drilling into his brain once again there was nothing he regretted of his doings lately. Saving those regs on Barton-4, killing Nolan… none of it. They had managed to get away. All those clones serving there on the cold forsaken planet while Crosshair had chosen to remain behind. Taking care of the imperial troopers, making sure there were no witnesses left behind seeing the clones flee. Torching the place before falling to his… well, death had not been his reward after all even if he had hoped for it. To die there on that cold planet. The Ice Vultures flying above him as he lay there on the ice.
Once again, he had been so, so totally wrong. But perhaps he would get his reward now? The death? The injection perhaps for once made of a too high dosage and thus releasing Crosshair from this all. Finally putting him out of his misery?
Crosshair closed his eyes. The sedative taking its affect. His final thoughts those of… Hunter. The familiar smirk on the scout's face as he looked at Crosshair. With so much… love. The image… fading fast. As was Crosshair, his pulse slowing down.
The intel was right
'Sometimes anger, regret, all those negative thoughts take over. Just because a few feelings were hurt by someone so close… having led to some bad decisions having been made.'
"We should help him Hunter. We should get him out of there." Omega pressed on while voicing the sentiment of the others as well as her own. Not really saying anything new to Hunter, merely repeating what Tech and Echo had already told him. But Hunter clearly needed the reminder as he wasn't doing anything about it. "He could be hurt by those… those imperials!" Omega sounded half chocked, the teary undertone present even if she had tried to act all brave and soldier like. Because she wanted for Hunter to know she was that. A soldier. Ready for the fight against the Empire even if Hunter was holding her, them all back. Keeping them, safe? But one of their own wasn't safe any more. Crosshair, wasn't safe. And so, in her still child like mind they needed to get to him. Get him away from those imperials harming him. No matter the cost! She wasn't wrong.
Hunter let out a heavy sigh. Sulking again. His go to mode these days. The sad, droopy I-have-had-enough-of-the-pressure-given-to-me-by-my-team-mates expression plastered on his face. Not that it made any difference or had any impact on the others. Not any more. They had all been there. Talking to him. Each taking their turn. Even Wrecker. But mostly it had been Tech and Echo. Tech especially pushing Hunter to do the right thing. "Omega, I know how you must feel about this… situation. But, like I said before. This is most likely a trap. Crosshair has done it before. Remember? I don't exactly trust him or the intel." Hunter voiced his own concerns. Again. Nothing he had not already said. Tried to get through the other's collective thick skulls after Tech had decrypted the intel Echo had obtained from the imperial prison transport. But they all pressed on. Pressed him on. Hunter. To karking do something about it!
The two remained in silence. Sitting there at the aft of the Marauder. Omega having tried her very best to persuade Hunter they should go on a rescue mission. Having tried different arguments as to the why they should. Echo, Tech and Wrecker each having taken their turns in doing pretty much the same. Even Rex having tried to talk to the Sergeant. Offering any and all possible help he could muster to help the Batch. They weren't alone even if Hunter felt like that. Knowing also that Crosshair wasn't alone on Mount Tantiss as they now knew the place to be where the clones were kept at. There were plenty of others there according to their latest intel.
But Hunter wasn't budging. Fearing the others might go against his wishes soon enough if he did not comply to their wishes. But so far, they had fallen back after Hunter's continued rejections. Even if Tech and Echo had a plan…
"Hunter…" Omega reached out to Hunter touching his side ever so softly. Sensing the myriad of feelings running rampant in the man. "I know how much you miss Crosshair even if you are trying to deny it."
Hunter gritted his teeth in anger. He did not look at Omega. He could not.
"I know, from Tech and Echo, that the two of you were… very close." Omega revealed then, her having known about the two. Guess nothing was secret on the Marauder. Then again, it never had been.
Because here he was, sitting in perfect denial. Having thought he had hidden his feelings, his emotions from the others. Pushing the past behind and trying to move on. Acting like it had meant nothing. Like him and Crosshair had never happened. The betrayal as Hunter saw it, Crosshair going back to the Empire after everything they had gone through. Even without the chip!? Hunter having finally decided it was not worth it. To dwell on it. To think about it. Burying it all away. Never to be taken out and looked at ever again.
But this, small Kid, telling him things only he was supposed to know?
Hunter gave Omega a quick glance just then, seeing Omega had turned to stare at the floor. Perhaps she was finally giving up? Hunter's silence having deterred Omega not to pursue this further?
In Hunter's opinion, the news of Crosshair finally turning against the Empire were way too perfect to pop up now. The timing, just right? No, it had to be a trap, right?
Still, there had only been a warning there. In the message. No request for help for them to go after him. What was Hunter to think about it other than being a trap? But why now? Why at all? They had parted ways on… terms. Right? And so, it must have been a simple warning. For the Batch to go hide? Hunter felt the soft touch of Omega's on his arm. Placing his own hand on top of the girl's comforting one. She had not given up. Hunter should have known better. Omega had been on a mission. For Crosshair.
Another heavy sigh.
Hunter had them all. His small family. Crosshair? He was all alone. At least that was what Hunter suspected knowing the sniper only too well. Never really having made any friends let alone anything else. Except his Batch. Hunter.
The tears falling, the emotions too raw, too much to ignore.
Omega and Hunter sat there, in perfect silence for the longest while. There were no more words to be said. No more anger, no regret or hatred to be shared. The time to act was now if it was ever going to happen.
And so, after yet another heavy sigh, Hunter finally spoke.
"Kid, go tell the others we're going."
I am here for you, always
'Getting stuck in a rut only to see the end of the tunnel's light at reach. Waking up and finally doing the right thing.'
"Crosshair."
The familiar velvety voice was calling to him. This was a dream and Crosshair wasn't ready to wake up from it. It had been a long time he had heard it even in his dreams and so, unmoving Crosshair dwelled in the moment. Listening to the soothing timbre.
"Cross. Please, wake up."
It was uncanny. Being dead and still hearing voices from the past. At least, Crosshair thought he was that, dead. The last sensations, the last memory that of the injection rendering him almost inert. A faint memory of the doctors trying to… resuscitate him? But, if he was dead then where was he? In purgatory? Was this his hell? Having to listen to the fond memories of the past never ever to be realised again?
"Cross… please. Please, wake up."
But Crosshair did not. Falling deeper into the awaiting darkness, the voices around him finally subsiding.
He blinked, once, twice. The crust in his eyes not letting him open them properly.
What had happened? Where was he? He was supposed to have died, right?
Moving slightly, or at least trying to move Crosshair felt a heavy weight on top of his body. Had he fallen at some point? Was there some debris on him? Where was he? What, was going on?
Crosshair felt around with his hands as at least they were still functioning even if his eyes were not. Touching his face with them first. Trying to rub off the sleep from his eyes. Was he still alive after all? Perhaps something had happened to the base? The lab? He tried so hard to remember. Yes! There had been explosions that much he was sure of. But, why? Had someone attacked the base? He was even more confused now, having thought to be dead, but clearly he was not?
Crosshair tried to open his eyes again, managing to crack them slightly. The vision still blurry, but he could definitely see something there on top of his torso. Letting his hands do the exploration, he touched the… warm body there?
Someone stirred suddenly and Crosshair quickly removed his roaming hands.
Trying to focus on the what he now knew to be a person there. Someone on top of him? But why? And who? Were they injured too? Was Crosshair? He felt the pounding headache starting the more conscious he became. Definitely real. Not dead. Making a quick internal inventory of his person there was no other pain present however.
Just as Crosshair was about to check on the other again, he felt it. The soft touch of a hand on his face. A probing hand, the touch ever so light. Definitely a person. A living person!
"Cross?"
Crosshair tried to look at the blurry form in front of him. The drugs, the sedatives were definitely still in his body. Or then, this was all a dream and he was really dead… because whom he saw was…
"Hunter?"
"Yeah, it's me Cross."
Hunter's tone was low and soft and well, so warm and familiar and good… and Crosshair was so confused. This must've been a dream. A post death dream mocking him. Right?
"You… are not real."
Hunter gently grabbed Crosshair's hand placing it in his. Holding onto it. The warm touch seeping through. Feeling oh so very real.
"Cross. It's me. You are safe now." Hunter tried to assure Crosshair. Sensing the confusion of the sniper present there clear as day.
They had found him. Crosshair. Inside that dreaded lab with the other clones in those… tubes. The cells filled with captive vod'e only waiting for the inevitable. They had saved them all. The conscious and the unconscious alike. Stunned the commandos with a device Tech had rigged pre mission. So many clones… and Crosshair. They had found their lost lamb and brought him home. Having made sure the place, the horrid laboratory inside that mountain would never harm anyone again. They had torched the place, well placed explosions reducing it all to rubble. The whole kriffing mountain!
"Where?"
"Rex's base. But we'll leave soon enough. That is if you are willing to come with us. To a place. A very special place."
Crosshair glared at Hunter for a longest moment still having his doubts about it all. Mostly this being real. He might as well be dreaming after having died.
"You… came for me?"
"Yeah, we did Cross."
"Why?"
Hunter looked surprised suddenly. Clearly, he had been wrong. Crosshair had not set a trap that much was sure to Hunter now. But the fact that Crosshair had not believed for them, for Hunter to come for him… yeah that part… that really hurt. But Hunter could not blame Crosshair for such thoughts though. Hunter had struggled with the same ones himself.
"I could not leave you there. Not again."
"Simple as that?"
"No, no it wasn't"
Hunter did not want to lie either. He had been reluctant. But this was not the time to talk of such things. Because Crosshair, was back.
"So, what happens next?"
Crosshair, despite his grogginess and headache still wanted to know. Trusting in the fact this was actually all real now. And that he was alive and among his own people. His family? If they would still have him?
"We, I would like for you to come with us. The Batch. For a while at least. Till you have recovered."
"Oh."
"Cross…" It wasn't easy though admitting to having been wrong. Hunter had. They both had. But it was up to Hunter to be the one to apologise. At least now it was. He needed to apologise for doubting Crosshair's intentions this time around. He had tried to warn them, not capture them.
"I am sorry. For… everything."
Crosshair's eyes flew wide. The words not really hitting even if he understood them plenty.
"Why are you apologising?"
"Because I need to. I want us to be… okay."
Crosshair was back to being unsure this was real. Hunter apologising. To him? After all he had done. Because Crosshair was well aware he had done so, so many bad things to his family.
"I…" Was all Crosshair managed.
"Rest. We'll talk later."
Hunter patted Crosshair leaving him resting and very, very confused.
A few weeks had passed since the rescue.
The Batch had retired to Pabu. At least for a while to, well, try to heal. Their small family unit even Echo having joined them. Hunter had made a promise to both Echo and Rex the Batch would continue helping the rebel cause of the clones. But for now they needed a brief respite from it all. Time to heal.
Crosshair was sitting in his usual spot. The warm sun on his face, the endless blue skies in his view as he observed the calm seas ahead. Closing his eyes for a moment to dwell in it. The others doing whatever chores helping around with the locals. However as per ordered by Hunter, Crosshair was still recuperating and so taking his time in simply being. Which was an odd concept for sure.
He was interrupted from his cosmic thoughts by someone clearing their throat close by.
Crosshair opened his eyes and glanced at the arrival. Knowing already whom it was without looking. Hunter.
Hunter smiled at him. Something he seemed to be doing a lot lately. Seeing Crosshair. Then smiling. The sniper could not help the tugging of his own lips, responding in kind. Even if he had tried to fight it back in the beginning Crosshair had found it useless to resist. And so letting it simply happen. After all, he felt calm, good and well cared for. What was there not to smile about.
Even if this was all an elaborate dream? Something which Crosshair sometimes still doubted it to be.
"How are you feeling?"
Hunter took a seat next to Crosshair like he usually did, the both of them sometimes remaining there in perfect silence while other times chatting about nothing in particular. It was almost like the good old days when the two of them had shared… something special.
"Better, thanks."
"Glad to hear it." Hunter really was as clearly the warn climate, the way of life had had a good effect on Crosshair. Hunter had made the right call in brining him there.
Crosshair glanced at Hunter, seeing no deception there. Again, surprised of how much Hunter seemed to care for his wellbeing after everything.
"So, anything special?" Hunter was trying to strike a conversation.
"Blue skies, warm sun…" Crosshair started, thinking about it for a spell. "Very special." It was, special, that much he was sure of.
Hunter only nodded, the two remaining in silence again for a moment. There was something Hunter wanted to discuss though. Something which he hoped Crosshair would take a part of as well.
"There is some kind of celebration later tonight. Do you think you are up for it?" Hunter probed carefully.
"I guess I will pass. It's not that anyone will miss me." Crosshair tried to kindly reject the clear invite.
"Cross…" Hunter turned to look at Crosshair. "I will miss you."
It was a surprise once again for Crosshair. The very fact that Hunter kept on surprising him. And clearly, Crosshair had misjudged… so many things. Hunter being on the top of the list. "You will?" It was a sincere question. Crosshair wanted to be sure.
Hunter once again grabbed a hold of Crosshair's hand. Something he was doing a lot of lately too. Being tactile with the sniper. Nothing new there, not in the past at least. But this wasn't the past any more. Still, Crosshair had to admit he liked it. A lot. Perhaps even expecting it to happen whenever Hunter was close by.
"Always, Cross. always."
Hunter's eyes found Crosshair's locking them in place.
There was so much bad blood, so many misunderstandings, all of it hanging there between them. But, somehow it did not matter any more. The two of them on this magical island, far, far away from the war, the missions, the Empire. Just the two of them in the moment.
Leaning in, searching for the permission in Crosshair's eyes. Permission given easily, their lips touched for the first time in a longest while.
The healing, had finally begun.