"Are you okay?" Shin-Ae asked, surprised when Nol suddenly wrapped an arm around her, burying his face in her shoulder. "Lightheaded again?"
"Yeah."
Shin-Ae turned her head slightly, hesitant. She wanted to see his face, although she already knew he was lying. She also knew that any sudden movement would break the spell of...whatever this was.
She peered at the thick bandages that wound around his neck, and in vain tried to get the image of discovering him in the snow just hours earlier. Blood...so much blood! Finding his father, the chairman, Randulph Skuli-Hirahara, the giant, somber ice man, impossibly cradling his son, sobbing, wild-eyed, and yet seemingly frozen. How he suddenly came to life as she and her friends ran to them! How he hesitated in letting go as Dieter and Soushi lifted Nol up. How quickly he composed himself enough to start barking orders, albeit hoarsely, to Jayce and that doctor cousin, what's-his-name. Q-Tip, unresponsive...
Shin-Ae almost shook her head. She didn't want to think about Kousuke, not now, especially if he was the one who...
No.
No, she thought, frowning. I wasn't even there. I can't know for sure, but...stop thinking about that, dammit!
Shin-Ae noticed Nol had grown still. They had been swaying a bit to the music, but had stopped. He sighed, almost slumping forward. A fine tremor began rippling through his body, just the merest hint of vibration. His arm wrapped around her tensed slightly, hand gripping her shoulder before quickly releasing it and just gripping her jacket sleeve.
His body was heavy. Worried, Shin-Ae squeezed his other hand, trying to reassure him. He responded immediately, gripping her fingers almost too tightly. Too tightly...in a large hand that had grown quite sweaty.
Shin-Ae blushed, and was suddenly very aware of not only the large, hot hand that she finger-danced with, but the arms, shoulders, and the rest of a solid and very warm body that was leaning on her...a body with only a hospital gown covering it.
She swallowed hard, then held her breath for a moment as Nol turned his head, his breath warm on her neck. His cheek, scratchy from needing a shave, pressed against hers. She tried not to panic.
Shitshitshit! she thought. What do I do?!
Emboldened, Nol brushed his cheek against hers ever so slightly. He felt her hold her breath, and paused.
Crap! he thought. Did I go too far?
Yet she didn't push him away this time, either, instead resting one foot on top of his.
Nol tried to calm his breathing, but he couldn't. He didn't want this moment to ever end, but the scorching fire on his back that was his injuries was only growing worse. He was breathing heavily through his nose and couldn't help smelling oranges.
Those oranges...
The orange Shin-Ae had given him with the funny face suddenly flashed in his head, and he wanted to laugh. Clenching his jaw, he ended up giggling through his nose.
Shin-Ae, feeling sudden blasts of hot air down her neck nearly yelped and jerked back. Nol cursed himself inwardly and let her go, dismayed the magic moment was finally broken.
Why must I always ruin everything? he thought.
As Shin-Ae looked up at him, he was already mumbling, a familiar sheepish expression on his face.
"I'm sorry."
She hated that expression.
"Why?" she asked.
Surprised, Nol looked down at an equally familiar scowl.
Whoops. Old habits die hard.
"I-I made you uncomfortable," he stammered. He looked at his feet, then suddenly realized he had forgotten that he had no pants on. Blushing crimson, his eyes slowly strayed to her little socks.
"Idiot, don't you mean you're uncomfortable?"
Nol looked up as Shin-Ae grabbed both hands. She wanted to shake him by the shoulders but didn't want to aggravate his injuries.
"That's why you're shaking and sweating, right?" she asked. "You're hurting, right?" She began pulling him back toward the bed.
Flustered by how small (smol) her hands were, he relented.
"Right, right," he said. It wasn't exactly a lie.
"Dumbass," Shin-Ae huffed, "Why didn't you say something? Tell me next time when your painkillers wear off!"
Relieved at not having to stare at his sweltry hands (or his bare calves) a moment longer, Shin-Ae turned as she pulled him closer to the bed. Nol took the opportunity to put an arm around her shoulder. After all, his foot was hurting, too. Technically speaking.
Shin-Ae noticed and huffed again in annoyance. She hung on to his arm snugly and helped him sit back down.
Nol thought about faking it so that Shin-Ae would help lift his legs, but then thought better of it. He'd probably embarrassed her enough already. He watched, amused how Shin-Ae busily covered him up, tucking him in. He chuckled softly at her mothering him.
"Not too tightly," he said, "I have to sleep on my side."
"Oh," said Shin-Ae. "Sorry about that. Are you warm enough?"
Nodding, Nol shifted himself, trying his damnedest not to wince. He fumbled for the bed controls, and lowered it so that he lay flat.
He let out a sigh of relief in spite of himself, just as the night nurse poked her head in.
"What the-?" she yelped, then covered her mouth.
Shit! Shin-Ae thought, but out of the corner of her eye she saw a silent shadow dart under the bed. Whew!
The nurse was not pleased. She continued in a loud whisper.
"What're you guys still doing here? I know I gave you extra time to celebrate, but go home already! Give the birthday boy time to rest!"
She began fussing about. Shin-Ae and Nol looked at each other and couldn't help snickering.
"Birthday boy," Shin-Ae repeated, goading him.
Nol pretended to be insulted. "I didn't even get to blow out any candles!" he pouted.
"Yeah, they wouldn't allow any candles in here, ya idiot," Shin-Ae replied dryly. "Fire hazard and all that, ya know."
Both of their faces dropped as the nurse paused and put her hands on her hips.
"Just look at this mess!" she said, gesturing at the empty wrappers and containers.
"Sorry ma'am," a soft, German accented voice said. Everyone turned to look as Dieter rose from the adjacent bed. He watched as the nurse's mouth fell open.
"What are you doing, using that bed?! We may need it! Now those sheets must be changed!"
"Sorry! We'll clean up everything right away!" Dieter said. He then began tapping, then shaking Soushi's shoulder, calling his name.
Soushi snorted, stirring groggily. Shin-Ae and Nol looked at each other with a wicked grin, then back at Soushi.
"Hey, Soushi!" Shin-Ae called. "Rika's here!"
Soushi snorted again, startled awake. In his attempt to sit up, he promptly fell off the bed. Dieter went to his side to help him up but Soushi jumped up like a spring daisy, quickly putting his jacket on.
"I'M UP! I'M UP! I'M...I...'m in deep shit...!" He trailed off as he looked at the night nurse who had her arms crossed, glaring at them all. She sighed.
"Honestly, it's my fault," she said. "I'm going to owe the aides big time for this. Just get your stuff out of here and go now, all right?"
"Yes, ma'am!" the boys said, and they got straight to work. Shin-Ae began to join them.
"I can help, too!" Nol said, and started to rise, but Shin-Ae was suddenly pushing him back down.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked. "Get your butt back in there before I break you in half!"
Nol chuckled as he raised his hands in surrender. The movement caused him to hiss in pain. He turned his head away, but not fast enough.
"Oh yeah!" Shin-Ae said, and turned to the nurse. "Could you give him something? He was shaking in pain before. Maybe something to help him sleep, too?"
"NO."
Everyone stopped at the sudden vehemence in Nol's voice. Surprised, Shin-Ae frowned.
"Quit being a stubborn ass!" she snapped. "You need to rest and heal!"
"No, no drugs," Nol insisted. "I don't want to sleep."
Shin-Ae stared at him hard. Although she knew Nol was serious, something wasn't right.
She then realized; Nol wasn't just upset. He was scared.
Odd...but maybe he doesn't like needles.
She turned to the nurse.
"What about something like Wylenol 3?" she asked. "Would that work?"
The nurse thought for a moment.
"It might not make much of a dent," she said, "But I can get the p.m. version, too."
Shin-Ae nodded and looked back at Nol, who seemed to have sunk into the mattress.
"Do you think you can try that?" she asked. Nol started to shake his head, but Shin-Ae leaned down.
"That's something I took for a little while when they sent me home," she said, trying to soothe him. "I had headaches and couldn't sleep well. It helped me, so it could help you, too."
Nol looked at her, still wanting to refuse, but felt his resolve crumbling. If he persisted, they would all want to know why. And nobody, nobody needed to hear that.
He slowly turned back, fumbled for the bed controls again and reluctantly nodded as he sat up.
The night nurse smiled and nodded once.
"I'll be right back!"
All too soon the room was clean again, only needing to be sanitized and the sheets of the adjacent beds changed. Dieter and Soushi bid their farewells as Nol joked with them. It was becoming clearer to all that he was in pain, or perhaps Nol was relaxing more due to sheer exhaustion.
When the night nurse returned, she set before him a tiny cup with two red and yellow capsules.
Shin-Ae noticed that Nol looked at them with revulsion. She looked at the pills.
"Yup, exactly what I took," she proclaimed. That seemed to relax Nol somewhat, and after a beat, he scarfed them down and chugged on his leftover soda. Once again, on instinct, he smiled that sheepish smile before catching himself. Seeing Shin-Ae glaring, he promptly let out a belch.
The guys laughed as Shin-Ae rolled her eyes.
"Good one, Yeong-Gi!" Soushi said, giving him a thumbs up. Dieter shook his head but couldn't help smiling.
"Men," Shin-Ae groaned. She glared at Nol. "Clearly, you and my dad would get along great!"
"We would?"
"Yup! He and Min-Hyuk have belching contests all the time!"
They all laughed, but were shocked when Shin-Ae added, "You know, I could beat Min-Hyuk a few times before he hit puberty!"
"What?!" Soushi cried. "No way!"
"Oh yeah? Ask Maya! She was the judge!"
They all laughed again, including the nurse who then cleared her throat.
It was time. The guys said their farewells once again, and left the room, with only Dieter looking back at them. Before he stepped out, he slipped back to the adjacent bed and tucked away the controls. He looked at them, totally oblivious to his presence, and sighed. He then left, knowing he had to prepare for a different farewell later.
Shin-Ae put her cherry boots back on and rose to her feet. She started to turn away from him when she felt him hook one of her fingers.
His voice was a soft, childlike plea.
"Don't go."
Unable to meet his eyes at first, she looked at the night nurse, who had finished checking his vitals. She sighed.
"He'll be out in under twenty minutes," she said. "But that's it."
"Thank you!" Shin-Ae said, as the nurse left.
Shin-Ae looked around, grabbed her phone and put the holiday music back on. Ironically, the song I'll Be Home For Christmas began to play. They sat quietly.
"That song was for World War Two soldiers," Nol mused when it finished. He could feel the drug begin to tug on him. He fought it by digging his fingers into his thigh beneath the covers.
"Really?" Shin-Ae said. "Makes sense."
She gazed at Nol's long fingers entwined with hers and found herself blushing once again. She began to believe it wasn't excess sodium, after all.
"Yoo?"
She looked up at him. It pained her to keep hearing him say that.
"Yeah?" she said.
"Thank you again, for all of this," he said.
"You're welcome. "
"Stay with me until I..?"
"Of course."
"Could you...keep talking to me, until I'm asleep?"
"Uh...sure."
Suddenly feeling quite awkward, she glanced around. She spied his Bible and snatched it up. Carefully paging through it, so as not to disturb the letters, she found the book of Psalms.
"Uh, okay..." she mumbled, "you know my English isn't that great."
"You'll be fine," Nol said, stifling a yawn.
"Um, 73? Uh...a Ps-psalm...of...A...Asaph? Am I saying that right? A saff?? What kind of name is that?! Okay! Okay, I can do this!"
She cleared her throat and began in a stilted, though determined voice.
"Truly God is good toIsrael,to those who arepure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. For I wasenvious of the arrogant when I saw theprosperity of the wicked.
"For they have no pangs until death; their bodies are fat and sleek. They are not in trouble as others are; they are notstricken like the rest of mankind.
"Therefore pride istheir necklace; violence covers them asa garment.Theireyes swell out through fatness; their hearts overflow with follies. They scoff andspeak with malice; loftily they threaten oppression."
"Sounds familiar," Nol sighed with his eyes closed, "except the fat part."
They both snickered at that. Shin-Ae struggled to find her place but gave up.
"Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, theyincrease in riches. All in vain have Ikept my heart clean andwashed my hands in innocence.For all the day long I have beenstricken andrebukedevery morning."
"Mm-hmm..." Nol muttered. He suddenly squeezed Shin-Ae's finger as if to make sure she was still there.
Saddened, Shin-Ae continued, staring hard at the words, willing for her tongue to make sense of them.
"But when I thought how to understand this, it seemed to mea wearisome task, until I went intothe sanctuary of God; then I discerned theirend."
Shin-Ae paused. "A fiery end, I hope."
She glanced at Nol. His eyes were closed, but he still hadn't let go.
"Mm," he said, his tone emphatic.
Shin-Ae continued:
"Truly you set them inslippery places; you make them fall to ruin. How they are destroyedin a moment, swept away utterly byterrors! Likea dream when one awakes, O Lord, whenyou rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms."
Shin-Ae snickered as Nol began to hum a melody from The Phantom of the Wopera. She looked back at the words.
"When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I wasbrutish and ignorant; I was likea beast toward you."
Nol mooed.
"Seriously?!"
"Sorry, hee hee. Please continue."
Shin-Ae rolled her eyes. Hopefully, this God had a sense of humor.
"Nevertheless, I am continually with you; youhold my right hand. Youguide me with your counsel, and afterward you willreceive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you."
Nol squeezed her fingers again, but she noticed his breathing was deepening. A stillness began to wash over him as his body relaxed. Finally.
She continued in a softer voice:
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God isthe strengthof my heart and myportionforever."
At last, Nol's hand slipped, and he began to snore softly. Shin-Ae held her breath for a long moment, afraid to move an inch. When nothing happened, she rose slowly.
"Amen."
She set down the Bible on his tray, and gathered her backpack and Lil' Buddy, who had somehow managed to stay hidden all this time. She set the orange with the funny face next to the Bible, and hoped it would cheer him upon waking. Taking one last look, she set her pack back down and carefully tucked in his arm. She gazed at his face, still somewhat boyish in sleep, but it was clear boyhood was quickly leaving him.
Since when did he have freckles?
She bit her lip as the horrors of the prior evening washed over her once again. She'd probably have nightmares for a while. She shook her head. He was safe. He would heal.
Almost without thinking, she cleared the bangs from his face. Her heart pounded. She glanced at the door, then back at Nol.
Dare she? Who would even know?
"Screw it," she muttered, as she leaned over, and kissed his forehead.
Lil Buddy mewed softly.
"I know, I know, be quiet now," Shin-Ae whispered, red-faced, picking up her backpack again. Zipping it up just enough to close it but leave room for air, she quietly exited the room.
Hours later, Nol jolted awake. He looked around, frantic: the room was empty. The beds next to him were clean. No party hats, no duckies. Fortunately, there was no nurses or orderlies, either.
"A dream?" he said to himself, scratching his head. He then carefully touched his forehead and blushed.
Surely, that part had been a dream!
Finally, he turned to see his tray had been pushed back against the wall. His breath caught as he spied the funny orange, the Bible, and the notes left by his friends.
Still a bit achy, he pulled the tray over and grabbed the orange, in a half-hearted way to make sure it was real.
He turned it over in his hands, and smiled sadly.
"I miss Yoo."