Quinn and Santana were home on winter break and decided to pick up a seasonal job at the Marriot in the nice part of town. It was an easy job; they were working in one of the offices in the back basically doing bitch work. But they didn't mind because it was good money and great benefits. On their days off they'd head over to the spa where they'd get massages.
Santana especially loved them since softball was running her ragged. She was red shirting for her sophomore year, so she wasn't required to stay back during winter break. It was probably the best decision she made. The team was full of talent. And the competition for spots were extremely high.
Freshman year, she tried out for the team. The coach had given her a good pep talk and talked her into coming to Louisville, verbally telling her that she had a spot on the team. But she was beaten out by other players and didn't make the cut. This year, she made it. But ultimately decided to redshirt.
Tonight, was the hotels company Christmas party and the girls had gotten a room to stay the night in. They were sitting in front of the vanity, straightening their hair, and putting on makeup.
"I've missed this, San. Just being able to talk shit together and hang out." Quinn said as she put on some mascara. "Getting this job for winter break was such a good idea."
"It was huh. My mom was pushing for it. They want me to have some money before I go back next semester." Santana replied. But the truth of the matter was, that wasn't the real reason she suggested they get the jobs.
It was nice being around each other again. College friends are cool and all, but they didn't know all about Santana's past. They didn't know about the issues that plagued her family, and how her older brother had to move out during his senior year which nearly tore their family apart. Santana didn't have to act a certain way; Quinn knew who she was, and she didn't have to hide anything.
There was something that she had hidden from Quinn for a while, and she was thinking about telling her tonight. But the timing had to be just right.
"School is fun and all, but it honestly isn't the same without you and Brittany there."
Quinn knew that Brittany was a soft spot for Santana. For the first few days of winter break, Santana didn't come out at all. She stayed home and was isolated in her room for a while. The adjustment to being back in Lima without Brittany there was hard for her. The duo had tried to prepare her for it, knowing that Brittany didn't get her leave approved for winter break and when it was solidified that she wouldn't be there- it tore a hole in Santana's heart.
For the weeks leading up to coming home, the three of them had made plans to do a lot of things together. And Santana was the most excited out of all of them. But when Brittany had to break the news, Santana nearly didn't come home.
Her parents talked her into it, saying that this would be the last winter break she'd have free, and that coming home would be a good way to decompress from school.
And now here they were, in a hotel room getting ready for the Christmas party. Before leaving the room, they snapped a picture and sent it over to Brittany. Their friend was in the field for a training exercise and didn't have service. But they knew she'd reply once she got back the next day.
At the Christmas party, the girls sat next to each other along with some other younger girls who were working the front desk. Santana had snuck in some crown (per usual) and her and Quinn were taking swigs from her flask when no one was looking.
Overall, the party was really fun but the girls would never admit that out loud. As the music started to get everyone on the dance floor- the girls walked outside onto the balcony that was overlooking the golf course.
"San, talk to me. I know that something has been on your mind."
"It's my major I picked. I don't know if that's what I want to do forever, you know?" Santana deflected. She chickened out of telling her the truth. "Kinesiology seemed so cool but I don't know if I want to be an athletic trainer."
"You can always change it, S. I might change mines too. But I'm leaving that as a decision I'll make at the end of the school year this year."
The girls talked for a few more minutes about what Santana would want to change her major to but ultimately, she remained undecided.
"Tell me the truth San." Quinn said again. "I know that isn't what's on your mind."
This was it. Santana had to tell someone; it was eating her alive.
"Q, I- "
"Tell her San." Quinn said without looking at her. "Four years. I have been around you guys for four years and you think I wouldn't have figured it out?"
Santana was yet again, rendered speechless.
"I have been waiting, patiently – might I add; since sophomore year for one of you to say something. You guys have been doing this dance with each other for so damn long." Quinn chuckled. "I love you guys. I always figured one day, you guys were going to come up to me and say 'Q, we're together'."
"I just, don't know what to do Q. I love her, you know? And I've never really knew how to vocalize that to her." Santana said as she leaned more onto the railing. "It's Brittany. She's been my best friend since like the 6th grade. She's the longest friend I've ever had. I can't lose her."
"Do you really think that if you tell her this, she'd dip on you? That she wouldn't feel the same way? This is Brittany S. Pierce we're talking about San."
"I know. But that's exactly why I'm scared. I know how Brittany is. When something scares her, she pulls away."
Quinn put her arm around her friend. "I just really don't think that would happen."
"It doesn't matter now though, I mean – she's doing her Army thing now." Santana reached into her purse to get the flask out. "She won't have time for a long-distance relationship."
"You don't know that." Santana takes a swig before handing it to Quinn. She takes a swig of her own before continuing. "Maybe, you should just hint it or something."
Santana pondered on that for a moment. It wasn't something that she hadn't considered before. There were times where Brittany would call her after work and talk about the projects she was working on. The pictures she took were nice and Santana could see why she loved the job she chose. Some nights, she would just zone out while Brittany was talking because she was just happy to be on the phone with her.
But with her work schedule, Brittany started to call less and less. On top of that, was the time difference between Louisville and Colorado. It wasn't much, but with Santana's practice schedule and late nights Brittany was doing at her unit they hardly had time to call anymore.
"It's just such a touchy subject for me right now Q. I don't know how else to explain it."
"Look, maybe, when she comes back from the field you can talk to her. And see where she stands on things like long distance and all that. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself, okay?"
Everything started to make sense to Quinn. The reason that Santana was so upset when Brittany couldn't come home at the same time as them. The jobs. The invisible dark cloud that was hovering over Santana.
"Hey, were you planning on telling her? If she came home?" Quinn said. Santana didn't look at her, she didn't move. "You were."
"I was. I had been building myself up since she graduated from basic training. So, when she said she couldn't come home, I was devastated." Santana said, wiping her eyes. "I just don't know when I'm going to get another chance."
Quinn hugged Santana a little tighter. "There's always going to be another chance, San. And with you two? I'm sure it'll happen."
The girls decided to head back upstairs and get drunk in their hotel room. Because what better way to drown out the disappointment of not being able to tell Brittany her true feelings?
Santana woke up the next morning hungover as fuck. Quinn was sleeping on the chair on the balcony, her shirt half off and cup still in her hand. She walked into the bathroom to freshen up when her phone began to ring. She recognized that ringtone and ran over to grab it from the charger.
"Hey San!" Brittany still had some remnants of camouflage paint on her face, most having smeared due to her sweat. "Damn, you look like shit huh?"
Brittany's laugh had a sweet tone to it, something that made Santana's heart happy.
"Look here, it was a long night okay?" Santana said before attempting to fix her hair. "How was the field?"
"Oh you know, the same as always. I got some good shots this time though. The artillery is a lot easier to capture compared to the infantry." Brittany explained as she used a make-up wipe to clean off the rest of the paint from her face. "I'll show you after I shower. I wanna get them off of my camera before I charge it."
"Always working. You need to slow down okay? I don't want you to burn yourself out, B."
"Are you worried about me, Santana Lopez?"
"Of course I am, Britt. I always am." Santana said with a smile. "I just don't want you to burn yourself out."
"Pff." Brittany laughed. "The Army will burn me out regardless. But I am making pretty good money taking everyone's CQ shifts. Losers always spending their money on dumb shit."
Brittany was always smart about her money. She never wanted to spend too much, but from time to time she did indulge herself. Especially with the vehicle she bought. Nothing fancy, just a two door Toyota Tacoma. But it was exactly what she wanted. Lifted just a bit, maybe three inches. Gunmetal grey in color with all black rims and tinted windows. Santana remembered when she bought it, and the amount of pictures she received was probably too many but she never paid it any mind. She was just happy that her friend was happy.
"But hey, I'm gonna go shower. I just got back to my room. And I stink, not gonna lie."
"Yeah, go do that. I can smell you from over here." Santana said as she placed her phone down against the mirror. "Call me later?"
"Of course. The moment I plug the camera in. Bye San love you."
"Love you more, B."
And the phone call ended.
After checking out of the hotel, Quinn headed back to her parents' house to let Santana spend some time at home. Plus, Quinn had some fancy New Years tradition she had to attend at Yale, so she was going home to start packing her things.
"Oh San. I'm just so glad that we got to spend Christmas together as a family." Her mom told her.
"But is it really a family if Jason isn't here?" Santana immediately turned, knowing that she had gone a little too far. "Sorry, mami. I didn't mean it like that."
"I know, baby." Her mom said, walking over to her and hugging her. "I know you miss Jason. I miss him too."
Jason's senior year, he had gotten into an argument with their dad. Santana tried to stop him, she stepped in front of her brother before he started walking over to their dad. But he had pushed her to the side and they began to throw punches.
Her mom was screaming, her little sister hiding in the corner. All while Santana ran across the room and called the one family she knew would help. Brittany and her dad came over within minutes, followed by Quinn and her brother. By then, Jason had stormed out of the house while their dad had gone into the garage to calm down with their mom.
Things had been getting bad at home. And immediately after he graduated, Jason joined the Marines. He was a good Marine. Smart, strong. But just as quickly as he left for boot camp, he left for his first deployment.
When he didn't come home from that deployment, Santana was devastated. She blamed her dad for a long time for his death. Sure, he chose to join. But the constant arguments at home and the environment that he lived in, Jason didn't really have a choice. Well, he felt like he didn't have a choice. At least that's what he told Santana. Jason didn't have the best grades so he was never going to get into college.
Sasha didn't blame her dad, more so her mom. For not stepping in. For not making them calm down on nights where the outcome could've been different. It caused a rift in the family, and eventually a year after Jason was killed in action- her dad left. Sasha went with him, and would only come over for special occasions such as Christmas.
It was a hard situation for Santana to talk about, and the night that Brittany and Quinn showed up the three of them had promised that it would never come up again. And it never did, except for one drunken night.
1 Year Ago
"Hey San, are you okay? It's late." Brittany said, rubbing her eyes. She had a long day at work, and had finally fallen asleep when her phone began to ring.
"I'm sorry, B. I just really needed to talk to you." Santana's speech was slightly slurred, and she was sitting in the dugout of the softball field. "I'm scared."
"What are you scared of, San? Is someone there?" Brittany sat up straight now, a wave of worry had fallen over her.
"No, no. The girls are in the cars in the parking lot. I walked over here to use the phone. I'm scared of losing you."
Brittany leaned back, and ran her hand through her hair. She knew this conversation was going to happen eventually.
"Britt you know what happened to Jason. What if you get sent off on a deployment and I lose you too? That can't happen." Her tears were falling now. "I don't think I could ever come back from losing you. You know how hard it was when Jason-"
"San, listen to me. Santana." Brittany was being stern. "Do you think that I can't handle out here?"
"It's not that. I promise."
"Okay. So hear me out. I'm not saying that Jason couldn't handle this or anything like that. But we don't have the same job. He was in a dangerous place." Brittany said calmly. "Whenever I do anything here, I think of you and Quinn. I will always come back to you. No matter what."
Santana was sobbing now, to the point where she couldn't breathe.
"Relax, San. Please. Breath for me."
"I'm trying." She spit out. "It's just.. You have been here through everything with me. How am I supposed to go on if you aren't here?"
"Nevermind talking about all of these what if's San. I'm here. I'm okay. And you know that I'm always a phone call away no matter what."
"I know, I know you are." Santana said as she wiped her eyes with her sleeves.
"The jacket, huh?"
Santana tuned away, a little shy. "I haven't even touched any other jacket since you got me this one."
"I'm glad. I'm always with you, San. Lay off the crown a little bit." Brittany said before breaking out in laughter. "I know it's a comfort thing. But please, be careful okay?"
"I always am." Santana said before standing up and stepping out of the dugout. "But hey, I know it's late. I'm sorry for well, you know. All of this."
"Don't ever apologize San. You know better than that."
"I love you, B."
"I love you too San. Get home safe okay? Text me when you get there." Brittany said as she got comfortable.
"I will. Bye Britt."
Santana was at the track, getting ready to get a good run in. Santana looked down at the jacket she was wearing. By now, it was a little worn down. Some of the lettering had come off and the color was fading a little.
Alpha Battery, 1/113th Field Artillery 2nd Platoon Reapers read on the front. On the back, Pierce.
Brittany had sent Santana her basic training jacket while she was in AIT. It was a little reminder that Brittany was always around. No matter what.
Santana put her headphones in and began to zone the world out. Running was always her escape, even though she wasn't necessarily a distance runner. She felt as if she could just put some music on and forget about everything else.
After about five miles, Santana ran back to her car so she could go home and get ready for work.
"Switch? For what?" Santana said as she drove into work. "You know I hate going up to the front desk Jan."
"Please Santana? I have my period, and I don't want to deal with these mother fuckers tonight." Janet said from the other side of the line. "I'll tell Maria to switch us thanks San."
Before Santana could say anything, the phone call ended.
"This bitch." She said as she pulled into one of the employee stalls in the parking garage.
Before getting out of the car, Santana slipped out of her favorite hoodie and placed it on the passenger's seat.
"Alright then, let's get it going I guess." Santana said as she began to walk inside the hotel, pulling her phone out of her pocket to send a text.
Hope your CQ shift went good. Text me when you wake up. Miss you B.