Disclaimer: I don't own HBO's "The Last of Us" or any of its characters, wishful thinking aside.
Authors Note #1: This was inspired by one of the-gaymer-guy's prompts. The original was Ellie wandering into Jackson on her own and Frank wanting to adopt her. In my version, Joel drops Ellie with Frank and Bill in 1x03, before Frank makes the decision to end his life. And they decide to become a family.
Warnings: palliative care, long term illness, caretaking, emotional baggage, found family, angst, drama, romance, emotional hurt/comfort, period typical homophobia.
(Emotional) Baggage
Chapter Two
"Ellie!"
She came creaking down the stairs like her ass was on fire. Appearing in the doorway wearing one of his old shirts and some leggings that would've fit Tess five years ago as pajamas.
She took in Frank sprawled on the floor by the bathroom and him kneeling beside him like a shitting idiot. Back on fire the same way Frank's side was hurting as he breathed like an old truck tire, desperately trying to keep air.
Fuck.
He couldn't lift him.
Fuck.
"It's okay," she said immediately. Searching his face – maybe for permission - before darting into the room. Frank chewed on the inside of his cheek. In too much pain to do anything other than breathe as she eased his arm over her shoulder. "We can do it together."
And they did.
Close to a year passed before Frank couldn't stand to be in the chair anymore. He didn't know how to handle it. He didn't know how to manage the crumpled look Frank gave him either. But the day he stayed in bed turned into two, then three, and then became a habit.
He didn't know what to do when Frank got tired of his hovering, but Ellie did.
He thought she'd gone out to clear her head. To do whatever kids did when someone else's pain was too humiliating to witness. Instead, she reappeared a few hours later with Frank's easel nailed to a couple pieces of wood and super-glued to his mother's favourite breakfast tray.
"It looks like shit, but it will work, right?" she asked hopefully. Looking from him, to Frank, then back to him again with an expression he didn't have a clue how to deal with.
Frank smiled for the first time in days.
"It'll work," he told her softly. Squeezing Frank's hand as he breathed unevenly. "How about you find something that will hold the brush water?"
It wasn't until she'd scampered that Frank let go. Looking up at him as tears streamed freely down his face. Squeezing his hand with a strength he hadn't shown since the morning he couldn't roll over on his own anymore.
"It will work," Frank echoed unsteadily. "It will work."
"Before all this...I was working on a painting. I was actually about to show it. It was the focus of the collection. I know how it sounds, but it wasn't a big deal. It was a small gallery. The sort of thing local artists get when it's not tourist season and the galleries need the foot traffic."
He gave Frank his full attention as the book he'd been trying and failing to read was set to the side. Flicking an eyebrow at the sound of music blasting from the garage. Joel had been back to visit and brought Ellie a load of CDs and cassette tapes. It took her days to get right after he left. Even though she'd stopped asking to go with him when he did.
There was something Joel wasn't telling him.
He'd figured that from the beginning.
After all, why would the Fireflies care so much about a little girl?
Enough that they would give just about anything to get her to some safe zone?
But this time, that belief was only confirmed when Joel spoke to him alone before he left.
"You need to keep her safe. Things are going downhill in the QZ. Nothing is dependable anymore. There are more reports of marauders trying to access the food stores. Picking off smaller settlements."
"You're the one who keeps leaving,"
he pointed out gruffly. Not regretting it even when Joel's eyes said he might as well have slapped him.
"She's good for you guys," Joel ground out, face saying something different. Not that the words were a lie - no. It was worse than that. It probably had roots back to whatever made Joel the way he was. Maybe why he wore that busted watch. Maybe not. "...She's safer here."
"She's good for Frank," he returned, vocal cords hitting gravel as something unnameable threatened to upset the foundations he'd built their life on. Able to feel the weight of Ellie's eyes from one of the windows. He wouldn't have been able to see her, even if he turned, but she was there.
Joel looked at him, then back at the house, but didn't say anything.
They left it at that. Stalemated.
The rub of it was, there was a lot more to say.
And he was starting to be in the mood to say it.
Which was ironic, considering he fucking hated talking.
But the memory threatened to overshadow Frank, so he let it go. Nodding for him to continue.
"I thought it was pretty clever. Most people wouldn't have gotten it. The meaning. The real one. It was called 'family...' and the canvas was- it was blank. That was the whole point. I would invent my own family if it came to that. But I wanted. I wanted to have it the same way everyone else did. ...Well, maybe not the exact same way, but you know what I mean."
He'd wanted a lot of things. It was something he'd come to understand after Frank came along. He'd been able to trick himself. Lie to himself. Because he actually liked being alone. He genuinely hated most people. And could do without most modern conveniences. But all that didn't stop him from wanting things.
Like Frank.
Like the pride he felt being able to provide for him. Protect him. Have him.
The worst part was when Frank had gotten sick, he could still do all those things. But he couldn't fix what was taking Frank away from him. He'd nearly broken his hands beating them against anything he could reach when the medicine stopped working. More than anything, he wanted to fix Frank. It was his job. His purpose. And without that he felt worse than useless.
"But if I were to do it again?" Frank paused, acting like he'd said something to prompt it. Letting him know he'd missed a social cue without expecting him to guess. "...it wouldn't be blank."
There was meaning there. And not one of those little things they'd fought about in the past. Shit that made the other person happy, even if you thought it was stupid. Like a fresh coat of paint on the fences. Or using the fancy China when Tess and Joel came to visit.
He knew what it was.
He knew.
He cleared his throat.
"Maybe you should paint it," he rasped, resting his hand on Frank's. Barely batting an eye when Ellie let go of a string of curses outside. Probably up to no good. He was sure he'd find out later.
Frank's hand trembled as he turned his wrist, lacing their fingers together. Looking at him with eyes that seemed more sunken by the day. Like the effort of just living was suffocating him in inches.
"Maybe I should," Frank agreed with a tight, tired smile.
There was more to say, just like there'd been with Joel. But maybe it didn't need to be said this time. Maybe they'd already acknowledged it in every way that mattered. With the weight of Frank's hand in his and the fresh canvas he would set up on the easel the next morning.
He supposed family could be that. Two old, broken men and a feral hellcat of girl who would probably be the death of them someday. Frank sure thought so, if the way the painting took shape over the next few weeks was any indication. And considering how he'd caught her staring at it when she thought she was alone, well- maybe he was on to something after all.
Frank just laughed at him.
He used to think only bad shit happened in threes.
But this time he could admit being wrong.
A/N: Thank you for reading. – This story is now complete.