TCW - I believe in you (DOGMAREX)

by GunRoswall

CHSOTM prompts Dogma/Rex - Shell The road to recovery have been a long one for Dogma. The developing relationship with Rex on the back burner for the moment, simmering somewhere there while waiting for… what? Better days? Enter self-doubt, self-loathing, self-hatred, you name it! It's all there, inside the hard shell Dogma has erected around him.

TCW - I believe in you (DOGMA/REX)

By Gun Roswell

Preface

A fresh start

Our first date is finally here!

Preface

Set somewhere in the wide galaxy of Star Wars the Clone Wars

Alternate Universe. Canon? What Canon? CHSOTM prompts Dogma/Rex - Shell

The road to recovery have been a long one for Dogma.

The developing relationship with Rex on the back burner for the moment, simmering somewhere there while waiting for… what? Better days?

Enter self-doubt, self-loathing, self-hatred, you name it! It's all there, inside the hard shell Dogma has erected around him. Those kinds of ingredients never so great for a cocktail, especially if shaken!

Part of Dogma/Rex series

Notes:

Continued from the previous tale in the saga of Dogma and Rex.

Order 66 does not happen because the Clones/Jedi found out about the control chips. Things are about to change in this alternate universe of a galaxy so far far away. A somewhat loose tie-in to my Waxer/Boil AU series.

A fresh start

'We've managed to get so far, but where do we move to from here? Any ideas?' Rex's eyes were on Dogma's. So close their faces were mere inches away from each other's.

"I know this might be happening too soon… but…" Rex could see the surprise written all over Dogma's face as he leaned in the final distance. His lips on Dogma's for a soft kiss. An unspoken promise of things to follow. Time for talking was for later. The only thing which mattered, was Dogma being back.

Dogma was out of the infirmary. Finally!

Having gotten a clean bill of health after such a long stay in the medical facility. The Kaminoans, most likely in fear of retaliation from the Jedi Council keeping him there, making sure the clone was in peak condition before letting him leave.

As it was though, Rex, Ahsoka and Anakin had had several rather suggestive words in a somewhat of a threatening manner with the Kaminoan scientists after finding out about the chips and subsequent conspiracy. The three friends wanting to make sure Dogma would be treated with the bestest of care. And so Dogma had remained under observation. With all the possible medical examinations and tests having been performed on him. For his benefit the Kaminoans had assured the trio. Nothing sinister there for sure! Dogma ending up staying much longer than any other clone having come for their chip removal.

Frustrating to say the least! Dogma having lost it a few times, ending up throwing food and things in the temper tantrums. None of his friends could blame him for it.

Ahsoka had remained as an emotional support person for Dogma for almost the whole duration. Becoming a frequent visitor in the medical bay and helping the trooper to mediate and sometimes using Force healing in its mildest form.. Dogma only too glad to have her there, trusting the Jedi. And Ahsoka had witnessed first hand how bad it had been for Dogma while wallowing in his deepest and darkest state. His mental road to recovery much harder than the actual healing of physical injuries had been. Rex had also been by Dogma's side whenever he was back on Kamino. The peace negotiations now under way with the waring parties and so battles and missions having become less and less as with most likelihood the war would soon to be over. As per agreement of the Republic, the clones would become free citizens the bill for for it having been put through the Senate already.

Something of a topic on Kamino around the water coolers whenever clones spent their time for sure!

And so right now, Dogma was the man of the hour. Having joined his friends in the mess hall after such a long time spent almost by himself in the med bay was a treat. His friends having visited him there of course, but the Kaminoans had kept Dogma in isolation with only Rex and the few Jedi being able to really see him for the longest of whiles. Just in case, or so they had said. Again, not suspicious at all!

Dogma had not expected the other clones to treat him with such fervour and fondness having been deemed as a traitor at first after Umbara. Only to have been redeemed after the whole control chip debacle and whatever followed. That being all behind him now. And so here Dogma was, sitting like a celebrity of sorts among the chattering clones asking Dogma all kinds of questions short of begging him of his picture and autograph! Showing their utmost interest in their friends journey and clearly having forgiven and forgotten any and all animosity they might have had for his actions. "So, tell us, what was it like?" Hardcase pressed on wanting to hear the story once again, Dogma having given most of them the short version while they had visited him in the med bay.

"What was what like?" Dogma was overwhelmed of all the questions thrown his way naturally., having had to stop the pour and finally telling the others to ask one question at the time. After all, he was still recovering. A good excuse for sure, but he was rather weak physically having laid in bed for a longest time. But he did enjoy the attention. Of course he did.

"The Force connection." Yeah the rumours had certainly circled among the vod'e as nothing was ever private or a secret for too long on Kamino.

Dogma considered his response for a moment, thinking back to the several healing sessions he had gone through with Ahsoka. Before that, the Jedi and Rex had communicated with him through the Force as well. And if Dogma was honest to himself it had felt, special. Having been privy to such things usually not shared with those not of the Force. Not really. Even if basically the Force was for everyone to use if they wished to do so. Well, after a lot of hard work of course!

"Oh… that one…" Dogma smiled a little as he glanced at the waiting crowd as by now, there were more vod'e joining at the table with standing room only. All of them listening to the tale of Dogma's. They kind of felt him to be a hero of sorts. Dogma's behaviour, his so called treachery, the mind control Krell had used on him had made the Jedi aware of the control chips. And so all of them were now free from it with no small thanks to Dogma and what he had gone through.

"Well so you know that feeling of euphoria… like walking or lying on cotton clouds with the light is all around…" Dogma started telling his tale to the captive audience trying his best he could to enlighten them all of his experience while answering the follow-up questions as well.

Dogma must have sat there for the longest while, the vod'e around him not complaining. It was only when Rex emerged at some point did Dogma realise he was late… for his date!

Seeing the smiling face of the Captain Dogma quickly wrapped up his story.

"Sorry gents but I need to stop here. Maybe we can continue this some other day?"

"Of course Dogs!"

"Sure thing buddy!"

"Have fun Dog!"

They all wished him well. Knowing what or rather whom was the cause for the wide grin on Dogma's face suddenly. Not that he had not smiled and laughed with his friends, but this was a whole new level of… happiness.

They could all see Captain Rex standing there. Waiting for his… date. Dogma got up and joined Rex the two of them leaving the mess hall together. Leaving behind the other clones to gossip further about the only more recently formed couple. Obviously! Why wouldn't they!

Our first date is finally here!

'Taking slow and wobbling baby steps is the ideal? Well, in some situations, sometimes.'

"I know it has been some time and well, that talk of ours really did not cover so much…" Rex was nervous as Sith. This was their first time together in private since… well, since that incident with the bad liquor back in Rex's quarters which now seemed like an eternity ago. Because sitting in the infirmary with Dogma had hardly been private with the medical personnel and other patients always around them.

Sure, they had talked about things in general. What had happened, the ramifications, the misunderstanding as Rex had called the Umbara Incident. But Rex never really having believed Dogma was a traitor. Not deep down. He had been shocked of what happened, of course he had. But in the end when weighing all the options, Rex had believed there was something more going on with the trooper of his… his trooper… yeah. So pressing on the matter, the investigation had happened and in the end Dogma was not guilty.

Rex had been inside of Dogma's mind also. A pretty invasive and intimate way to learn things from someone to say the least. Not that Rex could read Dogma's thoughts. But he had been present there, having seen some of the things Dogma had felt when at his lowest. And it had not been pretty. The guilt, the remorse, the self-hatred, the confusion, the imagery of it all had shaken Rex to the core. But Rex had never lost his trust in Dogma even if he had lashed out at first. Having felt more hurt of the supposed betrayal as it had been somewhat personal for Rex.

It had all been a lot of that. Personal. For Rex and Dogma.

"I am sorry about everything." There it was, the apology once again. But Rex wanted to say it once more, repeating it over and over simply to make Dogma really internalise it. Now that they were alone, just the two of them. "I've always believed in you. Despite… everything."

Dogma had been quiet ever since entering the now familiar quarters. Having been there before of course. The awkward night spent in Rex's arms after the booze incident. Lot's of incidents happening for sure. Still, being with Rex was comforting. And Dogma wanted to be with Rex. His… well… whatever Rex was to him now. But so many things had happened since their first awkward get together. And even if Rex's words were reassuring, his apologies good to hear. Dogma still had his doubts if this, whatever it was happening between them would ever work.

Now though, with all the things changing around them in the galaxy. The war ending, the clones getting their freedom and all… Well, the two of them would non longer be the Trooper and his Captain. They would be… civilians. Or at least, that was the idea. To leave the war, the military, all of it behind. Most vod'e were planning on doing just that. Their own home world now at grasp. And so, things were certainly different.

But, and it seemed to be happening a lot. The word popping up whatever decisions or conclusions Dogma had come to. The big but standing there waiting for him. Right there in front of him.

"Thanks Rex, I appreciate it and guess I really needed to hear it. Again." Dogma wasn't complaining to Rex for repeating himself. No, it was fine for him for sure. He wasn't above being coddled.

Keeping his distance though even if this was now officially the date having been agreed to long ago before things went south between them. And so, Dogma was both nervous and anxious. Not really sure if he was in the right place after all. As somewhere deep down in his own doubtful space he was thinking that perhaps, they should call it a quits before anything even started part from a few shared kisses. As if sensing Dogma's hesitation and Rex totally was. After all, Rex had been privy to some of the thoughts while in the Force connection and therefore being pretty intimate with how the other man's thought process went. But also acutely aware of the mood changes in Dogma. It was kind of a blessing but sometimes knowing too much of someone else? Well, guess they weren't exactly there yet. Too close after all.

The two of them were seated on the small sofa in the room. Sitting close enough for sure but they weren't exactly touching. Rex trying not to push anything a Dogma was still recuperating. But then, Rex did. Touch Dogma. His hand reaching for Dogma's holding it in his, their eyes connecting, the shared gaze holding each other pinned in place. Giving the other a really good look with no words spoken between them. Rex letting Dogma read what he needed to from his eyes. His soul.

Because after everything, Rex was ready to take the plunge. A new life in the planning. And he wanted it with Dogma. And so, wanting to tell him just that before it was too late.

"Dogma, the reason why I… lashed out after… after Umbara…" He swallowed hard. "Guess I had already fallen for you and so I took it too… personally."

Rex had warned Dogma before. Being his Captain was a difficult position to be in for any kind of personal relationship. Alas, Dogma had not backed down. Not then at least. Now? Rex wasn't so sure anymore as Dogma seemed so, hesitant.

Deciding to continue on his confession though. Rex wanted Dogma to know this at least if nothing else was to come out of it.

"But, I regretted it and soon realised how wrong I was. And now, that everything is alright. You are healed and we have a future waiting for us… I would want very much to share it with you." Rex kept Dogma's gaze all the while, Dogma staring right back and deep into Rex's soul. "I love you." And so it was said. The L-word. No taking it back now. Not that Rex wanted to even if Dogma decided he wasn't… interested anymore.

Dogma still stared at Rex. Frozen in place.

Rex was worried he had broken Dogma. The man as stiff as he could be, and not the good kind either.

Then a blink, another one. A deep swallow. Dogma's mouth opened and closed. And opened again.

"I… um…" What was Dogma going to say? That he was afraid? That Rex deserved better? But Dogma loved Rex. Had since… well… a long time. And now, here he was hearing the words spoken out loud to him. The words he had wanted to hear.

Rex's face started to fall, the clear rejection coming for sure and Rex was sure it would hit him hard too. The rejection having just given his heart away.

They must've stayed like that for a longest moment. Simply staring at each other.

Dogma's mind was running parsec a minute. Even the meditational calming mantras Ahsoka had taught him failed the trooper at the very moment.

Dogma closed his eyes and then opened again, seeing the sad look on Rex. But.

"I love you too Rex."

And so, it was decided. Dogma had his chance and he would take it. Rex wanted him, he wanted Rex. Life could not have been more good.

Rex's lips curled upward. The few tears having accumulated in his eyes falling freely suddenly.

Leaning in, lips finding lips, Rex was going to make sure Dogma would know how much he wanted him in his life, his very future.