Chapter 3: Red And Blue
November 2nd 2:08 AM, London
Case Files: Thank you again for your cooperation so far. Whichever a**hole thought making a breach this huge was a good idea just because half the association thinks a computer is for calculating their taxes and the other half for excel spreadsheets has another thing coming when I get my hands on them. With all the grief it's caused me, I am just about ready to drown them in mercury. Even with the takedowns and mod corruptions, it's only gotten worse for my channel with how many viewers want me to showcase "The Forbidden Mod."
Sanji Matou: Hah, the unenlightened masses are always begging for more. What would they do without us gamers, am I right?
Case Files: Quite. Any updates so far on the Eastern side of things? I know that asking you to scour half the globe is a tall order, but doing both the Western and Eastern halves would have likely killed me.
Sanji Matou: Well, with the event coming up, I've had less time to pwn those losers off the face of the internet, but I DID come across a name for the leaker.
Case Files: Oh really now!? That's excellent! I'll be sure to recommend him to the highest authority for this! What is the lucky a**holes name?
Sanji Matou: Well, I think it may be more their username, my source said it was too hard to pronounce because it wasn't their native language, but they say they did their best.
Case Files: Well, if it's a western language I could see about getting a decent translation going for something more accurate. Send me the text?
Sanji Matou: I couldn't get the full text version from my source, and they're too lazy to try spelling it out, and the version I got was in English.
Case Files: Lazy? Why do you put up with that!? This is serious business!
Sanji Matou: You don't know the half of it, my source ignores me most of the time and only ever answers after I bribe them. The name they gave was, and I quote:
"xX_KissAss_ZWretch_Schlong_Xx"
Case Files: Ugh, I can understand trolling to a certain point but must the most insipid of them take such disgusting names? Did you find out anything about their nationality?
Sanji Matou: Nope, the rest I got from my source was that whoever it was somehow had a shit-posting record a mile wide before their account was ever created. According to the logs, they were making posts a good year before their account on the forums ever existed. The best I could guess is that they're either on the forum management team, or a really good hacker. I cross checked all the members of the team for the name, so unless there's some secret member hidden from the public, I'm guessing it's some sort of hacker.
Case Files: That is concerning. While I understand that there may be magi that are on the up and up like us while remaining more reserved about their usage of modern technology, but to make such brazen move seems contradictory. I'll see about putting a hit on it and anyone with similar names. Ugh, I hate this. First the association doesn't care about "the modern whose it what's its" and then once I tie a member to a chair and force them to see it, then they're on my a** about getting it resolved. It'd be nice if they gave us ANY support instead of shifting it to be MY responsibility.
Sanji Matou: Sh*t sucks man I know. If you took a trip out here you might be able to get something out my source. Hey, we might even be able to do a quick collab to get the viewers off our backs! My family's away for the duration of the event, so we could really rock it up!
Case Files: About that, this issue isn't the only thing the association has been pestering me with. They've requested that I take part in the event as well.
Sanji Matou: I see.
Case Files: Indeed.
Sanji Matou: Team Deathmatch?
Case Files: I'm red and you're blue?
Sanji Matou: Nah man, we're straight purple here!
Case Files: Well, in that case I should let you know we'll have a gray accomplice with us.
Sanji Matou: It wouldn't be Case Files without your assistant!
Case Files: Alright, prepare a circle and I'll start the process when I get there. I'll arrive in Japan in a few hours.
Sanji Matou: Wow, you worked fast.
Case Files: I was all but forced out of the tower, and I'm going to need to be fast if I want to beat my students there.
Sanji Matou: Oh? Already got a lucky winner in mind? From the last event right?
Case Files: Yes, with any luck he'll be able to join us and victory will assured, no offense.
Sanji Matou: The great "Zhuge Liang of the West" versus the "Merlin of the East?" Our battle will be legendary!
Case Files: It's good you've found such a good second. I had my reservations about attending this event, but with your skill and my strategy, the competition will be devastated by our combined might.
Sanji Matou: You know it! Just make sure you pick up a load of snacks before you get to my home. My partner for the event has a big appetite and only talks with its mouth full.
Case Files: What a handful. Must all our partners be so troublesome?
Sanji Matou: Yeah, it's just like playing in the mmos, nobody's any actual good at it so I have to constantly play support. I want to play dps d*ammit!
Case Files: Hmpf, as if playing a support role ever stopped you from out-damaging someone.
Sanji Matou: Heh, get here quick Case Files! If you show up late and he doesn't because of it, I'm dumping you in the water!
Case Files: Ugh, Sanji, anything but that.
Sanji Matou: You'll only have yourself to blame! You should have just jumped at the chance to collab our channels together!
Case Files: Perhaps you are right, I know that your wife's sister certainly didn't waste any time once she and that dunce she lived with got their tattooes.
Sanji Matou: Woah, High-Jump Kid's joining the event too!?
Case Files: Is that what you're calling him? I suppose that fits him, but yes, I saw clear as day on both of them. Frankly, if you refused for any reason, I was going to use that as collateral.
Sanji Matou: You wouldn't be you without underhanded cheese tactics, Case Files!
Case Files: My strategies are designed to win; cheese is sometimes the correct answer to sh*tty devs. Just be sure not to go out yet, if they somehow do get ahold of their partners early, they'll likely have no trouble targeting you. The Red Lady studied under the wizard marshal himself for a bit, and the High-Jump Kid could bench press both of us while running a triple marathon.
Sanji Matou: Yikes, thanks for the heads up. Why do those two always end up being such monsters with whatever they do!? Also, WizardMarshal who?
Case Files: Come on Sanji, I know you hold no love for your grandfather but he worked with the man to start the event in the first place.
Sanji Matou: ! That guy! Gramps never cared to actually teach me about it. I only knew him from one of the old records of it. What's he like? He seems strong?
Case Files: Yes, he could potentially give our partners a run for their money. He essentially has cheats for infinite mana, stamina, and uncapped damage as well as a magic stat in the infinities.
Sanji Matou: That's disgusting. When I see Red Lady again, I'm punting her to the moon for abandoning her sister and taking all the cool stuff. She could have offered to take her sister if she was going to learn from someone like that! BTW, what was his name again?
Case Files: I wouldn't call his attention fortunate; he is a comedian where his jokes leave him the only one laughing. The fact that your wife still has a sister is a miracle at this point. His name is Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg.
Sanji Matou: That's a mouthful.
Case Files: Yep. Gray says hi.
Sanji Matou: Tell her that she has to join us for our collab! Think of the views!
Case Files: She is aware and willing.
Sanji Matou: Victory!
Case Files: It is good that you can keep a positive outlook in all this. See you soon Sanji.
Sanji Matou: See you soon, Case Files!