Broken Promises

It'll be like we never existed

I don't love you

You're not good enough

That's what Edward said. But he lied.

How am I supposed to believe they never existed when the 136 vampire bites all over my body proved otherwise? Victoria bites me, over and over, and then she sucks the venom out. When she does this, it's usually after a perticularly grueling torture session.

She comes down, and she carved things into me. Like I'm a piece of paper for her to doodle on. She carved things like, "JV" and what not.

She comes down, and she uses her sharp nails to claw away my skin. Sharp, red lines all across me.

She comes down, and cries, and forces me to hold her, to whisper comfort in her ear. It's usually after this that she will touch me. It's so hard, because I want the pain to end. And she'll tell me things, about how sorry she is, but she needs me and I can't go away. And she'll say, she never wanted to hurt me, this is all Edward's fault. She says, that those with golden eyes would hurt me more than she ever could.

She breaks my arms, only to bite them. She leaves her venom in, for hours, until it's time to take it all away. After the first month, she started to bring me things.

She started to kiss me.

She started to tell me she loved me.

"I love you… Don't leave me, Isabella."

She'd say. And I could only ever nod.

And I'm ashamed to say, I started to look forward to when she would do that. Hold me so tenderly, like I was a gift. I hadn't been held that way in a long time. And I think she knew that.

So she would pull me in. And fuck, I know she was lying. I think she was just…

In love with the idea of me.

In love with what I meant.

And I just couldn't take it anymore.

I started to whisper back.

"I'm sorry, Victoria. I understand why, I love you too."

Maybe part of it was false hope that she would start to take care of me, instead of tearing me apart.

But the truth is, I needed her. I was so desperate. Desperate to be loved, that even though I knew she was lying, I accepted it. Because I knew, that with her? It was all I would get.

"I'm sorry baby, I love you so much, let me make it better."

She would then bite me. But she would take it away just as quick.

"I would miss your warmth so much. It makes me so happy to see how you're marked by me," She kissed my wrist, where James bit me. "And marked by my James."

I needed her, too.

I needed her, because she was a reminder.

I needed the Edward, but he isn't here.

And she is.

She didn't lie, when she said this was all his fault.

I know it is.

Nightmares of golden eyes, and fire visit me every night. I see his copper hair when I first wake up, but it soon transforms into the fiery red of Victoria's.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. Don't leave me, I'll die if you do. I'm nothing without you. He left you, you need me too, don't you? Stay with me."

And I'll stay with her, and she'll give me what I need.

I need someone to blame, and he isn't here when I need him. He doesn't hold me.

She does. And she whispers why. She has answers. And I blame him.

I fought it at first. I swear I did. But she was stronger, and she took what she wanted from me. She took all my firsts. She drugged me, and she fucked me.

I fought it, at first.

But she needs me.

So no,

I don't fight it anymore.

…

"Hello, Lovely."

"Victoria," I sigh her name like a prayer.

"Oh, my darling girl. I need to leave for awhile, do you promise to be good?"

No, no. She can't leave me, I need her. What will I do without her? Will she come back? I need her, I need her, I need her. I think I read about this once. Stockholm Syndrome.

"No, please, please don't leave me," I beg, my voice raspy from misuse.

"Promise me, Isabella." Victoria said.

I swallowed.

"I promise."

…

Victoria had been gone for a while now.

I'm so hungry, and she's not here.

Did she leave me too?

Why do they always leave?

I don't understand.

I did everything. I was perfect.

I was enough.

Fuck.

…

It's been even longer. I wish I had some measure of time, but I don't. All I know is Victoria isn't here. She's left me to rot. I miss her.

How fucked up is that? I miss her. My tormentor.

And I need her.

Fuck.

…

I think I'm dying. I felt, as horrible as it sounds, alive with Victoria. Like a drug. And I got hooked.

Edward had said something once. I didn't understand it, and he meant something much different. But it's the perfect explanation.

"My own personal brand of heroin."

Victoria is that.

I'm broken out of my spiraling thoughts by footsteps.

Is Victoria back?

No. This is different. I have to stay quiet. But… If it's a vampire, I've already been found out.

The steps draw closed and a blur flashes to my side. Fear courses through me, and I pass out.

…

Kate

I was out hunting when I smelled it.

Blood. Seemingly weeks old, but definitely human. The closer I got, the worse it got. The smell was overwhelming, but so was the smell of vampire venom.

A vampire had been torturing a human for, what seems to be months.

I bust open the door, and am horrified to see it.

I've only seen one vampire with scars like this. And it happened after his change.

How the hell does one stay human after being bitten so many times?

I rush forward as the scent of fear permeates the room, catching the human as she passes out.

God, Tanya's gonna kill me.

…