TOUKO
" Mom, tell me you're fucking joking right now."
She held her head in her hands and she leaned against our dinner table with her elbows. A moment ago, she had told me to come downstairs and talk. A big brown parcel was placed on the same table in front of my usual seat.
"Honey, please, just try to understand-"
I raised my voice. "No, I don't fucking understand, you want me to go out there and what? Constantly be overstimulated and feel like I'm dying every single day? And for whom? You?"
I could feel the anger swelling up. I was unsure if it was mine alone or mom's overprotective mudsdale, Ruda, who'd popped her head through the window to the kitchen. I didn't care at this point really; she couldn't do shit when I was this close to mom anyway.
"The doctors have all come to the conclusion it's a psychological thing you developed as a result of childhood trauma, you just need to overcome your fears, and a journey will be perfe-"
"IT'S NOT FUCKING PSYCHOLOGICAL!" I slammed my hand down on the table, staring at my mom with wide eyes. My teeth clenched so hard I was getting a headache.
A tear fell down her cheek, and her voice trembled as she spoke. "Touko, I can't do this anymore. I can't live with you like this. We're constantly fighting, I feel like I must walk around on toes with you here. According to you, I never do anything right. You suffocate me."
It stung. Like she had just slapped me with a giant hand across my whole body. I wanted to hurt her the same way. "Fine. I'll leave so I don't end up a pathetic loser like you. I'll be out of the house tomorrow." Her face became white, and she was left speechless for a moment. I grabbed the parcel and turned around towards the stairs.
"Touko!"
Ignored her and started to ascend the stairs. As I stopped in front of my room, I could hear her sob and muffled noises coming from Ruda. My heart pumped so fast, and my body felt warm and sticky. A mix of my own fear and sadness together with the mudsdale's anger and discomfort swirled around inside me. With one leg, I kicked open my door and slammed it behind me with the same foot.
The parcel slipped out my hands and fell to the floor. My body followed suit as my knees hit the carpet and tears swelled up in my eyes. I sobbed and cried for what felt like eternity. My own mom didn't even want me around. I must be the worst human in the world.
I wiped tears and snot away from my face with the back of my hand and looked around my room. I had to start packing. I pushed myself up from the floor and pulled out my pink dimensional shoulder bag. From inside the bag I pulled larger containers, and started separating different essentials like clothes, undergarments and socks, cooking utensils I had lying in the back of my drawers. I went to the bathroom across the hallway with one container and emptied my shower products, skincare and oral hygiene into it.
Back in my room I stopped in front of the parcel. I pulled out a pocketknife from my desk drawer and sliced the tape that sealed the box. Inside was another large box in pink with a matching lid on. I lifted the lid and inspected the content. It was filled with different trainer related items. A container with standard unused pokeballs. Another with different healing sprays. Food rations. Dried meat and berries meant for pokemon consumption. Pokemon pebbles. A single sleeping bag with attached pillow. Inside another smaller box was letter, a used pokedex I recognized to be from another region, a taser, and a standard customized pokeball in pink.
My eyebrows twitched and I reached for the letter first. Using the pocketknife, the contents quickly revealed themselves to be a letter.
.
Dear Touko,
By the time you receive this letter, I'm probably not around any longer.
I'm sorry I couldn't be around to see you grow up, but I know you'll turn
into a fine trainer. You've always had a special gift. It's never easy to be
gifted, so try to be easy on yourself, okay?
These are some items I believe can help you on your journey when you
graduate school.
The pokedex is my former one. Don't tell Touya I gave it to you. He'll feel
left behind. And don't feel unprioritized because I put money aside for him
to have a pokedex at the time when you two graduate. There's a lot of no-
tes and uploads in mine (not to brag) but unless the system has been
reranked, you should have access to everything.
I picked your starter from one of my recent missions. I have a feeling
you will be able to maximize each other's potential.
I want to show you so much, but I don't have much time left. Promise
me one day to travel my home region. Be kind to your mother, it's tough
raising two stars alone. Bear over with your brother if you ever start fighting,
the feelings will pass, and you'll be good friends again in no time.
I love you,
Dad
Ps. you might wonder about the taser. Don't hesitate to you use if you
meet someone who doesn't have your best interest at heart. Try not to
journey alone, and if you do, be wary of men. Not everyone is of good
nature like your cool dad!
.
Small drops of tears fell on the letter. I couldn't risk ruining it, so I carefully placed it on my desk to let it dry together with the envelope. I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. I missed him so much. I bet dad would've understood what I was going through. He had been born with a talent of his own too, though I never got to know what it was. Maybe it was similar to mine, and he'd wanted me to become a trainer.
My hands moved on their own as I threw the taser, my pocketknife, wallet, a lip balm, dimensional water bottle and the pink pokeball in the front pockets of my bag.
I picked up his pokedex, my pokedex, and pulled out my VS recorder from my desk drawer. Within a few seconds I had synchronized them. A new welcome screen popped up. Then a message asking for a system update. I put it down on the desk next to the letter as it updated.
Instead, my attention turned to the VS recorder. I scrolled through the menu and clicked on my Trainer profile. It showed the money connected to my League account, a laughable amount, I would barely be able to buy a set of new pokeballs. At least I had my own savings in cash.
My League subscription* was of the lowest level. I would be able to have my pokemon healed and call the League emergency lines. Accommodation would be tougher to deal with once I hit the bigger cities and have to wait on gym battles. Wait, did I even want to take on the Gym challenge?
I put the thought on hold, it was something I could worry about when I arrived in Striaton. My letter from dad had dried. After reading it again, I carefully put it back in the envelope and stashed it inside my bag in one of the secured pockets. Together with the pokedex, I stashed the VS recorder in one of the pockets on the outside. A nagging feeling of having missed something important filled me, but I couldn't put a finger on what it could be. Not able to figure it out, I deemed packing done.
The sun was slowly setting outside my window, and I heard my mom called from downstairs. Dinner was ready. Even though my stomach told me otherwise, I ignored her. Instead I turned on an early alarm and prepared for bed.
.
*League Subscription: Different levels of monthly subscription you pay in return for free or discounted services provided by the League.