Heroes Not Always Make Good Dads

by ashika pl

Just a what if story with Midoriya Izuku being Endeavor's secret 'love' child written from Enji's perspective, canon compliant when it can be.

4. The Fire

"This is Deku!"

"Huh?"

"Excuse me for using a private line! It's possible that Shigaraki is after me!"

No.

No.

"What are you saying?!"

"I might be able to lure him somewhere with no people around!"

What.

No.

"Please stay on the line with me!"

No.

Enji did not believe in God. But maybe there was some God after all, out there. A God that would derive joy from mercilessly torturing people like him. Because how else would you explain all this shit his family life was so far and the fact that, on top of it all, out of all possible people in the whole of Japan or even the whole world, it would be his son that Shigaraki, the ultimate menace, would be after.

An unintelligible sound forced its way out of his throat, a shout, a roar, a scream of protest.

NO!

But there was no time to spare, to think, as he pursued Shigaraki with redoubled hatred. He wouldn't let that monster lay a finger on his Izuku. He would die before that happened- No, he wouldn't die until he was one hundred percent sure Shigaraki would never ever be able to do it. He wouldn't die until the threat was gone. Even if it tore his body to pieces.

"Since I'm too far away, I won't be able to see Shigaraki because of the dust. If it looks like he's changing course, please let me know!"

Enji just grunted his accord, fury and fear and adrenaline and grim determination, all overflowing in his heart.

And soon enough Shigaraki landed.

"He's landed!"Enji shouted immediately, throwing all his flame power to scorch the man, but he missed.

"Changed course! Moving southwest now!"

"I knew it! Thank you very much! I can buy time to evacuate everyone! I'll draw him to me like that!"

The sense of dread turned Enji's blood cold.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DO ANYTHING STUPID!" he roared before he could think better of it, better of anything.

"I'll be fine!"

'The fuck you'll be. No, you will be. I'll make sure of that!'

Enji switched the lines. The more firepower the better.

"Everyone! Shigaraki is now heading southwest! He has a super regeneration quirk! He's not at all who we've faced in the past!"

Shigaraki shot a glance at him. Did he hear Enji's shouting? Apparently so, cause he suddenly jumped dozens of meters above and released a blast of colossal range that not only sent Enji to the ground but took care of all their communication. Fuck. At least they got his last message.

He again rushed after Shigaraki, but it was too late! He has lost precious seconds due to being thrown to the ground and he saw Tomura meters from his Izuku, hand outstretched, ready for the kill!

"NO!"

Something flashed and Izuku was gone.

What?

And then he saw the old man, meters away, pulling his child away from the threat.

"I'll always be in your debt, Gran Torino," he growled as the hatred towards Shigaraki clouded his vision.

In a matter of seconds he was by the maniacally grinning monster's side.

'Die with that smile!' he thought as he released all the firepower he had. 'DIE.'

But the other man has evaded the flames with a mere movement of the hand. One look at the ground and he saw Eraser Head using his Erasure.

'So it's not a quirk?! This is his natural strength?! This is how he jumped before?! He can freely move in air just by swinging his arms?!' Fuck. It was a power comparable to All Might's. Fuck.

Still, that wouldn't stop Enji. Maybe he couldn't beat All Might, but he'd beat this brat. And he wasn't alone – Ryukyu was already here doing her best to get a piece of that bioengineered shit. He could also see others rushing to the scene. Good.

But it couldn't be too good, apparently, he thought as he heard the familiar screams of the noumu, and not normal noumu, High Ends too, it would seem. Shouldn't they decay? Was Shigaraki capable of completely controlling what he destroys? Obviously. Shit.

Enji pushed himself even more to lay attack after attack on the villain. All he got in return was that maddening grin and a crippling punch that sent both him and Ryukyu to the ground. 'You've got no chance to win this,' whispered a venomous voice, 'You're no number one.' 'I will win this. I will destroy him even if I burn out every single cell in my body', he spat back. And then his eyes widened as Tomura landed on his chest.

"Hey, Number One, was it this hand?" the villain mocked him, raising his fist All Might-like style.

Enji immediately released all firepower he had to throw the crazy bastard away and rushed back into the fight. Attack after attack, all the power, all the speed he could muster and Tomura was barely harmed. Fucking goddamn regeneration. But maybe it had its limits, maybe Enji just had to go on long enough. Or at least long enough to get more people to help him. Maybe the numbers would do the thing.

But Shigaraki wasn't going to wait for that as he suddenly dived for Eraser Head with speed Enji couldn't match.

'No!'

With his quirks activated they'd be-

His eyes widened as Izuku grappled Shigaraki.

"NO!"

No, no, no, no!

The boy shouted something about how they cannot afford to lose Eraser Head. He was right, but still! They couldn't afford losing Izuku too, especially if he was important to Shigaraki! Enji couldn't afford to lose Izuku!

But Bakugou was already there, to support his son, fury on his face. Izuku tried to restrict Tomura's movement using his Blackwhip while Bakugou peppered him with explosions, but, unsurprisingly, to no effect. Still Izuku's Blackwhip held. His boy truly was something else, being able to restrain Shigaraki even if only to some point, what with Shigaraki's monstrous strength. It allowed Enji to deliver a punch packed with fury and hate that sent Shigaraki meters away.

"DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID, WHAT DID I TELL YOU!"

"WE CAN'T AFFORD TO HIDE!" shouted Izuku back.

And the worst thing was the boy, objectively, was right.

"And we can afford you to die?!" he spat nevertheless.

"I won't!" replied the boy, determination burning in his eyes.

"His power and toughness are on par with All Might's!" he warned them.

"All Might..." repeated Izuku.

Yes, don't underestimate this, kid.

Shigaraki moved towards them.

"Support Eraser Head! Bakugou, protect Izuku!"

"Become mine, brother!"

Brother? But there was no time to ponder as Enji released his web flames. They did not work. But something was off. Enji did not know what, but something was definitely off with Shigaraki. Well, maybe the villain was simply mad. It could make things easier, could make them worse.

Gran Torino deflected Shigaraki's attack and created an opportunity for Enji. At least that was what they hoped for. However Tomura again jumped up, making Enji miss him and at the same delivering perfectly aimed thrusts that reached both heroes. Damn him. And then his attention was again on Izuku.

No.

But there was Bakugou again and this time the explosion that hit Shigaraki should have wiped the man out of the surface of the Earth and into the afterworld. But Izuku knew better as he added an All Might-like hit to damage Bakugou hopefully did. Enji would of course not stand idly by and delivered his Vanishing Fist, the punch with flame temperature that should kill any living being.

The villain finally fell to the ground, his body shaking, scorched marks appearing on his body. It seemed that the combined attack finally did what Enji could not achieve alone, though his previous hits definitely made Tomura weaker.

"It's over, Tomura Shigaraki," said Enji, hoping he was right. "No matter how much power you obtain we will never yield to this destruction with no conviction!"

Shigaraki struggled to get up.

"You people... heroes... in order to rescue strangers hurt your own families..."

Ah, even Shigaraki knew about his family.

"...these are the words of my father. Conviction? I have it... I had it..."

Something was happening to Shigaraki's body. What Enji took for bruises and scorches created during this fight was something else, now engulfing more and more of Shigaraki's body.

"The hell's that?" murmured Gran Torino.

"Let's find a shelter," he heard Rock Lock. Wise. Hell knew what was happening to Tomura and whether staying close was safe even in his current state. They couldn't afford losing Eraser Head.

"You people... pretend to protect society... in the past... over many generations... you pretended you couldn't see those you couldn't protect... and covered up those you hurt... Everything you've built is tainted... In the end, the insides rotten, crawling with maggots... It all builds up... little by little, over time... You've got the common trash, all too dependent on being protected... and the brave guardians who created the trash that needs coddling, for their own profit... It's a corrupt, vicious circle... Everything I've witnessed... This whole system you've built has always rejected me... Now I'm ready to reject it... That's why I destroy. That's why I took this power for myself. Isn't it simple? I don't care if you don't understand. It's because you don't understand we have heroes and villains!"

Enji snapped out of his reverie. The mad man wasn't wrong. Enji knew the system well, he saw all the dark stains, ignored corners, hushed up would-be scandals; he knew well that fighting villains did not ultimately make the world a paradise. He himself had a lot burdening his conscience. He could understand what created Tomura in the first place.

Still, it did not give him the right to slaughter people.

It did not give him the right to try to kill Izuku.

He released his flames again.

"Thanks for the breather! You must be at death's door. Prep-"

But Tomura was again in the air. Fuck. Of course. He shouldn't be able to even move, but of course he did.

Gran Torino slammed him to the ground. But it wouldn't be that easy. Shigaraki caught Gran Torino's leg before the old man managed to dodge it and broke it with ease. They rushed as Gran Torino was slammed with unnatural power to the ground, blood escaping his mouth. Fuck.

"Gran Torino!" screamed Izuku.

'Fuck, don't do anything stupid!'

But Tomura dealt a crippling blow to Gran Torino and there was no stopping Izuku now.

"IZUKU, DON'T!" He rushed after the boy, but he was too slow. Exhaustion was one thing, but the boy was now fueled with fury and despair and fear of losing someone important and that made his speed unmatchable.

But Shigaraki wasn't after Izuku. He dodged the boy and jumped towards Eraser Head again. Before Enji could do anything Ryukyu intervened. Good. They needed her.

Shigaraki simply punched through her body. Fucking monster and its monstrous strength!

And then Izuku was on Shigaraki.

"SHIGARAKI! You're the only one I won't forgive!"

"IZUKU!" shouted Enji.

But Izuku had a plan. The Blackwhip surrounded Shigaraki.

"HOLD HIM THERE, IZUKU!"

'Just one more good hit with all I've got!' His body started to protest, but it did not matter. He would break it, destroy it, but first he needed to destroy Tomura Shigaraki. 'Just one more shot!'

And then they heard Ryukyu. "A deleter round!"

FUCK!

Izuku tried to hit Shigaraki with all he had, but the monster just caught his arm with teeth. But it did not matter anyway, cause the bullet was out, perfectly aimed, hitting Eraser Head at his leg.

No.

They're done now.

He'd lose Izuku.

The time slowed as he saw Eraser Head cutting off his own leg.

'It's not about understanding, Shigaraki. It's about tearing yourself apart to save a stranger.'

Even if deranged Shigaraki wasn't stupid. He knew well you couldn't just butcher off your own leg without blinking. He was by Eraser Head in an instant. But so was Shouto's ice.

'Now you're going to lose two of your children, not only one,' hissed the hateful voice in his head.

No.

He pushed himself towards Shigaraki, but Izuku was already there, trying to protect Aizawa. It worked.

Did it?

He saw Aizawa's bloodied face and closed eye.

'It's over,' hissed the voice. 'It's over, you're dead, they're dead, it's over.'

No!

"Even if you fight desperately to delay the inevitable," he heard Shigaraki's voice. "all that's waiting is ruin."

No.

He rushed towards the villain, but was blocked by Shouto's ice.

"What are you doing?! Cool yourself on my ice! You can't fight overheated like this!"

"He's too close to Izuku. I won't be there on time!"

Shouto looked at him as if he lost his mind. "You've told me many times to keep your head cool in a crisis. And what are you doing?!"

There was no time for arguing, so he embraced the ice, promising himself to react the moment Shigaraki moved.

And he did. He stooped, his hands reached for the ground.

"NO!" Enji was already flying there, his body screaming in protest.

But then the miracle happened. Shigaraki's skin tore open and blood spurted.

Did the Super Regeneration finally reach its limit?

Good. Just a little bit more. A little bit more and they'll finish this. They'll finish him.

But Shigaraki realized the very same thing as he reached for the ground again.

Enji immediately fired with everything he had, again. "BURN IN HELL!" he shouted.

And then he felt something lifting him into the air. The black strands of Izuku's weird quirk enveloped him and pulled him from the ground, along with everyone else. The boy himself was floating too.

Enji decided it's not the time nor place to wonder what the hell is Izuku's quirk. All that mattered was that the boy ensured they all'd be safe from decay. That boy...

Enji again pushed his body past its limits to fry Shigaraki to a deranged bioengineered crisp. It was well past time to end this, especially now that the villain could again use his quirks.

Still the fucker wouldn't die, his skin blackened, painful, breath hoarse, but baring his teeth all the same as if this was the fun he was waiting all his life for.

"Thanks for cauterizing the wounds, Number One!" he grinned.

Izuku's control over Blackwhip wavered and the boy put them back on the ground. Well, as long as Shigaraki was in the air they were safe. They had to keep him there.

"Take care of the wounded!" shouted Izuku.

"Shouto!" Shouto nodded.

"Pathetic!" Enji spat furious at himself. "The boy shouldn't be doing the job of the Number One!"

"Wait, Deku!" he heard Bakugou. "You're the one who should stay the fuck away from him most!"

'You don't say,' thought Enji bitterly.

"Erasure is not anymore, remember?!"

True, who the fuck knows what quirks the bloody maniac had up his sleeve.

"Then who else is gonna keep Shigaraki in the sky?!"

True, but it did not mean the boy had to fight alone. Enji ignited his legs again as he rushed towards the sky.

"Old man!" shouted Shouto. "You're in no state to-"

But Enji would not listen to this. His boy would not fight this alone, even if Enji burned his body down to his very teeth.

But Izuku already went full All Might on Shigaraki – smash after smash, he was creating such powerful attacks that the shockwaves kept pushing Enji away, not letting him get near enough, dissipating his flames.

Fuck.

At least Shigaraki was getting worse and worse, blood dripping out of his mouth, shaking visibly with pain and exhaustion.

Just a little more, a little more.

"IZUKU!" he shouted. "TO ME!" 'And I'll fry him once and for all!'

Izuku nodded and in a second Shigaraki was in Endeavor's welcoming arms.

"PROMINENCE BURN!"

He had never heard a scream like that. He had never burned a human being like that. Not mentioning it normally should be a quick death, but no, here, in Shigaraki's case, with his regeneration quirk it was a lengthy, horrifying, painful, gruesome end. But there was no other way. Better him than his Izuku, than his Shouto. Enji did not know how many seconds or maybe even minutes passed; time seemed to be dragging mercilessly slowly... but eventually Tomura turned to a blackened corpse.

Finally.

Enji's body would not take more of this.

And then he felt something piercing him inside out, going through his lung, stomach, intestines.

NO!

Shigaraki wasn't dead. Enji, however, was.

No!

He couldn't die, not yet!

But his body finally gave up and the ground rushed to meet him.

Someone caught him midair. His consciousness started to fade away.

No! No! NO!

His children were still there, fighting!

'You'll die after, Enji, after! You'll have all the time in the world to die, but NOT NOW!'

He forced himself to open his eyes to see Izuku like he never saw him before. The strength, the speed, the fury, the... madness. What happened? What changed?

His child pounded away at the scorched corpse, or what should be corpse, hitting and biting through an offensive quirk that took Enji down, like a feral animal, the atmosphere about him portending death. Enji stared. If this would not take Shigaraki down, nothing would.

No. It was his duty. He let his flames cauterize his wounds and pushed himself again. Izuku won't be fighting this alone, feral or not.

Shouto would not have any of that.

"NO! YOU'LL KILL YOURSELF!"

"FINE!" he roared as he tore himself away from his son.

But he was too late, again too late.

Time froze as he saw Shigaraki touching Izuku's face.

His child was dying, right there, in front of him.

Whatever tore out of his throat was not even remotely similar to anything a human being could utter.

But Izuku did not decay.

What?

Both opponents stilled as if they lost consciousness. Enji also made not a single motion, his eyes on Shigaraki's hand still on Izuku's face, terrified that any wrong move and his child would be killed. It lasted eternity.

And then the light stronger than a dozen suns blinded them.

When it subsided they saw both figures falling to the ground, not a shred of consciousness in them. Enji forced himself to try and catch Izuku, but Shouto was quicker, even though he was carrying Bakugou as well.

Bakugou? When did this happen?

"IZUKU!" he screamed.

"HE'S ALIVE AND CONSCIOUS!" shouted Shouto back.

'I can die now.'

"Tomura, you can't... don't..." he heard a familiar yet weirdly twisted voice from the place Shigaraki landed.

'Or not.'

Shigaraki used the damn weird offensive quirk again to push himself up, since his own body wouldn't listen to him anymore.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE ALREADY!" barked Enji. But before he could squeeze everything he could from his own failing body the reinforcements finally came. YES!

"The giant villain is heading this way!" shouted young Tenya.

No, this is too much. Impossible. Fuck.

"Iida!" This was Shouto now. "Take away the wounded, including Midoriya!"

He heard Izuku's strained voice as the boy tried to push himself up without much success. "I... need to be with Shigaraki... He's still... after me... Iida... take Kacchan and Endeavor..."

Absolutely fucking no.

"Just fucking try," Enji growled at poor young Tenya.

"Endeavor-san..." tried Izuku again.

"FORGET IT! THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I'M NUMBER ONE FOR?!"

It shut the boy up as intended.

"You're not fucking dying here while I seek shelter," he grumbled.

"His regeneration slowed down a lot... he must be getting weaker," Shouto voiced what everyone was counting on. "Hado-sempai! Keep pressing him like that!"

But Machia was already here.

It was the end for them. He did not manage to save his children. He did not manage to protect the world. Some Number One he was.

No, he would protect them.

He would.

He would.

"Ah, there you are!" He heard a familiar voice. "You all look so tiny from up here. Oh, look, Shouto's here too! That's perfect."

"Dabi!" he growled with hatred. So not only Machia, but the League of Villains too.

But he still would protect everyone. He had to.

"That's mean." Dabi smiled widely. "Don't call me that name." He poured something over his hair and it went white. "I've got a wonderful name – Touya."

888

"I'm fine! Why? Because right now I'm extremely happy! Look at him! He's breaking apart! Ahahaha! Ahahahahaha! SHOUTO! If I burn you to ash... I wonder... WHAT KIND OF FACE WILL FATHER SHOW ME?!"

...

Izuku?

...

"Don't poke your nose into another's family business!"

"IT'S MY BUSINESS TOO! TODOROKI-KUN IS MY DEAR FRIEND! ENDEAVOR IS MY TEACHER WHO MADE ME STRONG! I know the past will not disappear! That's why I'm looking now at Endeavor's efforts! YOU'RE NOT ENDEAVOR! THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING ABOUT 'ENDEAVOR'S FLAMES'?! THIS QUIRK! IS! YOURS!"

...

Move, Enji.

Move.

Don't die.

Don't lose consciousness.

Fight.

Fight.

Your whole world can shatter later.

Fight.

888

His head was fuzzy, his body loaded with drugs, the exhaustion also taking its toll. Even thinking was an effort. But he could not stop thinking. The protesting crowd was well visible from the windows of his hospital room. He almost lost his life protecting these people. He definitely sacrificed all his family life for this dream, to be the ultimate hero, number one, a person who'd always save, who'd never be late. And later, to his dream of creating a hero like that.

The darker part of himself was bitter, angry. All that he had laid on the altar of protecting strangers and this was what he was getting from them, while he laid in the hospital bed, after a kiss from death herself.

'You people... heroes... in order to rescue strangers hurt your own families...You've got the common trash, all too dependent on being protected... ' The Shigaraki's voice in his head set him straight, dispelled the corrupt thoughts.

These people were right. Even if half of what D- Touya said were lies Enji still was a monster that has created even a bigger monster.

'Up until now, I've killed over 30 innocent people... How could I make you suffer? How could I trample your life?...SHOUTO! If I burn you to ash... I wonder...'

These people were right. It was all on him. It was his fault. He was to blame. He failed. Failed everyone. He made his own son, the son who always dreamed about being a hero, a villain, a killer, a lunatic.

And yet. He wouldn't be able to kill his own child. He could never.

The door opened and he saw one of the doctors. The man noticed Enji watching the outside and immediately looked sympathetic. He shouldn't.

("You only get what you deserve, Enji")

"Shouto and the others will be okay."

Ah, one piece of good news. He felt thankful to the doctor for bringing him what was the most important message.

"You also somehow managed to escape death."

'I'd be better off dead.'

No. There is so much to do, to repair, to atone, to be responsible for. No.

"Endeavor-san... I am rooting for you."

'You shouldn't. I'm not the hero that deserves it.'

The doctor left.

He couldn't move, back then, again. His child was in danger and he couldn't move. But how could he protect one child if it meant fighting other child? Even if that other was a mass murderer? And whose fault was that last part?

Everything he's done in the past has come back to haunt him...Even if he survived this, Endeavor the hero was dead. Should be dead.

The tears filled his eyes and overflowed, violent sobbing tearing its way out of his throat. He hasn't cried like that since he was a little child. Mother hated it more than anything. So he always turned his emotions into anger. It was safer, it was more dignified, more propelling, making him stronger. Or at least that's what he used to think. And where did all this anger lead him?

So he did not even try to stop the tears now.

The door creaked open.

"Shouto!"

But the boy took one glance at Endeavor's pathetic wet face and he was out of the room.

Well, no wonder. He never taught his son how to cry or deal with crying. How could he teach him what he's never learned himself?

But a moment later all his children gathered the courage and got back inside.

"Dad!" Ah, Fuyumi, the light of his life, the one that has always made the effort for their family. "I'm so happy we can finally all see each other!"

"Are you two alright?" With all that was going on, they must have been harassed by reporters or even common angry people.

"Why the hell are you crying?" asked Natsuo angrily.

He really did not want to do it in front of them, did not want them to think he's trying to get their pity, but Natsuo's angry face, his always sad or angry face, always like that for so many years, broke him again. Tears were escaping his eyes now, no stopping them, and pathetic sobs were wrecking his body.

"Sorry... I am really so very sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry I was too late regretting my actions... My heart... the guilt..."

"What about it?"

Rei.

Rei.

He hasn't seen her for ten years. He hasn't seen her since the times he had been a monster that broke her. She saw him last when he was a monster that turned her life into hell and made her assault her own beloved child.

She brought the flowers he kept leaving for her, the memory of better times that had gone rotten. Did that mean she was willing to accept what Enji tried to tell her for the last couple of years? Or would she throw them into his face?

"Regret and guilt... we all feel that, much more than you," she said calmly. She seemed changed. Harder, stronger, more self-confident. No longer afraid of facing him.

"Rei! Why are you here?" Even if she was better, even if she seemed stronger she should not be out now, of all times. Everything that was happening now would be too much for this fragile woman, it would break her again! He wanted her to be able to leave the hospital for a safe environment, where she could live a peaceful life, far from any troubles, anxieties, fears, far from him. And now, all this...

But she seemed determined. Much stronger than he ever remembered her.

"I came to talk. About our family. About Touya."

They all came closer.

"Touya had said a lot of things during his broadcast," continued Rei calmly. How was she so calm? "Many of them weren't true. Our children were small back then. I want them to hear from us what really happened. How things came to be as they are now."

Rei.

He would have never done this himself. He'd feel as if he were throwing excuses at his children, for being a monstrous husband, a terrible parent. But Rei... Rei has come here to explain. Though she could just speak with them without him, throw all the guilt on him. And maybe she still would. She wouldn't be wrong.

He nodded weakly.

"I think it's only right if you tell them everything." He was a big bad monster in this tale, a wolf, an evil sorcerer. It was only right that his victim should be a narrator now. He was telling them their story for far too long.

She nodded and turned to their children.

"It wasn't true that your father forced me to marry him. I came from an abusive family myself."

He could see his children's eyes widen. She ran away from one nightmare to another. The guilt he felt was overbearing.

"I have never been strong and my parents made sure it would be difficult for me to become independent. They made sure I'd feel afraid to venture into the world on my own. After all, they hoped to marry me rich, so it would keep them from poverty. I was their asset. So I agreed, not feeling capable of doing anything else, not feeling capable of finding any way out other than this. They have presented me with various candidates. They at least let me choose from them. I chose your father."

She might have said 'chose', but Enji knew it wasn't any choice. It was just agreeing to the lesser evil. Something least disgusting. He saw in his children's faces they thought the same.

"However, your father spoke to me before the deal was made. He had told me with all honesty how busy his hero work is. He told me in advance that he expects me to be the one responsible for bringing you up. He told me this marriage is because he wants to create a perfect hero. He asked me if I'm okay with all this."

"What choice did you really have?" he couldn't help but interject.

"Don't say it like that. I always wanted to have children. And I liked your frankness. I liked your aim. I liked the fact you were a hero. "

'Ah, some hero he proved to be to her.'

"...That you're saving people. I knew it was an arranged marriage. I married you to escape my home, I married you for money. If anything, my aims were lesser than yours."

"Don't say that."

"It's the truth."

Fuyumi sniffed.

"However our first years were good, weren't they, Enji?"

Enji hesitated.

"Maybe we weren't the most compatible couple, but I think we did try our best and it worked, right, Enji?"

"You definitely did your best," he mumbled.

"Enji. We are supposed to tell our children the truth. Without pretending we're better than we are, but also without pretending we're worse."

"...yeah, we were happy." To a point, not perfectly, but they were. Their sex life was forced, unpleasant, awkward, due to issues they both had, but apart from that he remembered how he was coming back after his missions or patrols to his smiling wife, laughing kids, to the warm, welcoming atmosphere of the house he built for all of them. Rei would feed him his favorite foods, tell him what the kids managed to achieve that day, worry about any bruises he's got. He was bringing her flowers every day. She loved that. God, it was so long ago it seemed unreal.

"It all changed when we realized Touya's fire quirk is burning his own body."

"I've put all the blame on your mother," he admitted grimly.

"The blame was on both of us."

"No," he protested. "I was the one who had put my own dreams into his head. I've always wanted him to become a Number One hero and... then I did not know how to make him stop dreaming about it. I did not know how to put out the fire I've started."

"The blame was on both of us, Enji. We should have taken him to a therapist. He was obsessed. He kept coming with new burns. He's become aggressive. I saw something was wrong."

"Yeah, me too." But it did not even occur to him to take the boy to a psychiatrist. Some parent he was.

"But we did nothing. Both of us. You blamed me, put all the responsibility on my shoulders and I blamed you for never being there for us, for running away into your hero work."

'Some hero you are...' He never forgot those words of hers. She was right though. She was right all along.

"We blamed each other instead of working together to help Touya."

She fell quiet.

"You were right to blame me. I wasn't there. And when I was..."

He felt his children's look on him. He knew he had to finish the sentence, to say it all loud. No more running from who you are, Enji.

"...and when I was I was making your life hell, with all the accusations, poisoned words, hatred. And I was wrong to blame you. You were all alone with Touya."

Rei shook her head. "Touya was our responsibility. Our, Enji. We both failed him."

He decided not to argue.

She sighed and continued. "It was getting worse and worse." He knew she meant not only Touya, but Enji's behavior too.

"We did not know how to deal with Touya. So, your father decided-" she hesitated.

He hung his head.

"I thought... all this obsession... this mania... It was always about me. He would always tell me how he wants to be trained by me, how he wants to be a hero like me, how he wants to be recognised by me. I tried to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't listen. I've told him there are so many opportunities out there, waiting for him, and I would be proud, I would, but he wouldn't believe me. ...so I thought... that maybe if I made him hate me, he'd stop harming himself."

"What?" Shouto was the first of his children to finally comment.

Enji hung his head even lower.

"I... loved Touya, but if it meant to save him from damaging himself I'd accept being hated by him. I thought that maybe to spite me he'd stop using his quirk, he'd stop dreaming about being a hero"

Shouto's eyes widened.

"So you made Shouto. You made a child only because you couldn't handle another child," said Natsuo angrily.

Enji nodded. "It was a horrible thing, now I see it. Back then... I did not know what to do."

"Unbelievable," whispered Natsuo horrified. Shouto's face was again impassive, but Enji knew it was just a mask. The boy was so good at hiding his emotions.

"Your mother was against it."

"I was," admitted Rei. "But in the end I agreed."

"I bullied you into it."

"Did you- " Natsuo suddenly stopped himself as he shot a look at Shouto who now paled.

"What?" Enji asked uncomprehending.

Rei smiled weakly. "No, your father would not do such a thing."

Ah, they meant... he felt sick.

"He... told me if I don't agree and Touya would finally cripple himself it would be all my fault for not listening to him. I shouldn't have agreed. But I already felt so guilty..."

"It was all my fault," whispered Enji.

"So I pushed him away, became cold towards him, and concentrated on Shouto only. I thought it would work. It didn't."

"He even attacked Shouto once."

"Yes. That's why I separated Shouto from him. I was afraid for both of them now."

They were quiet for some time, lost in horrible memories.

"It did not help. He was getting worse and worse. And I've been taking it out on your mother. You remember this."

Children said nothing to that.

"And then, one day, he told me to come to Sekoto Park. To show me something that would prove he is better than Shouto. That would prove his worth in my eyes. I knew at that moment what I'm gonna see when I dragged his shirt up. He was all burnt. I was so angry with myself... and, as always, I've poured all that anger onto your mother. Next day..."

He stopped. Next day was the worst day of his life.

"Next day Touya died in Sekoto Park. Or so we thought," she continued, the sadness in her voice carving itself forever in his heart.

"You didn't go," she added, no accusation in her tone.

He didn't. His child died there alone, cause he wasn't there for him. Or so he thought, all his life.

"...I thought I would have just fanned the flames..."Ah, yes, the excuse he used for so many years spent with Touya. "...or rather...I didn't know how to talk to him." The pain was back, excruciating, he could see the flames of burning trees and hear his own voice screaming Touya's name over and over again.

"Neither did I," admitted Rei, raw hurt and helplessness staining her sad voice.

"After everything, after killing Touya I couldn't take a step back..." His Touya died because he wanted so badly to be a perfect hero! He would not let Shouto waste his precious quirk! His brother died trying to achieve what Shouto could achieve easily!"...all I could do was... obsess over Shouto."

"So all Shouto's life was about Touya," said Natsuo coldly. "It was never about him, you never saw him, there was only Touya."

Tears filled his eyes again, but he forced them back. He swallowed with difficulty and nodded.

Well, after some time passed he started to really look at Shouto, Shouto's become his most treasured, beloved child, the best thing that has ever happened to him, but by then it was too late. And it didn't matter anyway. What he's done was never to be undone.

Rei continued. "Touya disappeared... And you gradually got worse... I was so frightened... I started to see your image in our kids."

The rest they all remembered well. They were reminded of it every time they looked at Shouto's face.

He didn't dare to look at them now. At what he has done to them all.

He heard Fuyumi "I knew you were broken... but I was too scared to approach you... I was all talk... nothing else."

'It's not your fault.'

"You brought this all on yourself. You're the root of it all-" At least Natsuo would not spare him. Good, he was speaking nothing but truth. The pain would not lessen though. "I wonder if I had just made myself face Touya and knocked some sense into him... maybe Dabi wouldn't have been born." No. Enji remembered well the obsession, the mania in his child's eyes. You could do nothing Natsuo. "He could've even treated Shouto with some cold soba."

It was a weak attempt at what? Humor? Or was it just some remnant of Natsuo's dreams about what his family should look like?

"The responsibility for this doesn't fall just on you...It's ours to bear. Even if our hearts are shattered we'll get up and stand tall. You have no choice but to fight Dabi," said Rei in a definitive tone.

"Rei... you're..."

"Our child who was put through much more pain than us... who had every right to resent me... He called me his mother again."

Shouto.

"He made friends at U.A. and connected us all again."

Friends.

Friends.

...Izuku.

"Shouto is becoming our family's true hero," she said proudly.

"Before coming here I talked with mom... I didn't think... you'd be able to fight anymore. I thought I'd have to do it myself... but it isn't the case, right?" He felt Shouto's eyes on him.

Tears started to fall down his face again. He did not deserve any of this. He was the source of everything and yet they were here with him, wanting to share the burden, share the blame, share the responsibility, maybe even share some sort of a future. He did not deserve any of this.

"When you're done crying, get up. We'll stop Touya together." Shouto reached his hand.

He raised his head, looked at all his family gathered around him.

They seemed so determined... to get together, maybe only for this crisis, but maybe... maybe determined for the new beginning for them all too... Things of the past would never change and they certainly could never be happy together as other families were, but still from this moment on they could work on some sort of forgiving coexistence...

It was so tempting.

It was so tempting.

He wanted this more than he wanted to be alive.

But it wasn't right.

No more lies.

They've come here for the truth.

No more hiding.

He did not take Shouto's hand. He hung his head again.

"That's... not everything."

He felt the surprise, he felt how they watched him, wary again.

They were right to despise him. He did not deserve any of this.

"Some time before Shouto's birth..." He was staring at his hands on the immaculate hospital sheets. He could hear everything shattering even before he said these final words, the words that would separate him once and for all from his beloved family. "...I've slept with another woman. She got pregnant. She wanted to keep the child."

The silence was arctic, cutting, almost physically wounding him.

"I have another child with another woman."

And there.

There it went.

Any hope for any kind of future with his family decayed as if touched by Shigaraki's quirk.

Author's Notes:

So, as I have mentioned before this is the first fic in a long time I don't procrastinate on. So reality couldn't have that, obviously. So now I not only fight bedbugs, but also have my scheduled paid leave (yeah, I live in Europe ;) ) cancelled cause everyone in my job and their nana and dog took a sick leave. So, unfortunately it will take me longer to finish this story.
Last time it was only two chapters left and guess what it's still two chapters left XD.
Anyway, do you remember how I was complaining I fucked up canon story? Guess what, I didn't. Anime did. In manga Enji actually gets much worse after Touya's 'death' and this is what leads to Rei's breaking. This does make much more sense in context of Enji's redemption arc than what anime showed us. Actually I've noticed with irritation anime throws away quite a lot of details, sometimes important. If you read Enji and Rei's hospital story you'll see Enji is painted a little less horribly than in anime (for example it is quite strongly stated in manga that he decided on making Shouto just for Touya's sake, while in anime it seems like he is still obsessing over creating a perfect child who's gonna be future Number One). Or maybe it's just me.
Also, as you can see the conversation in the hospital is a little bit different than what we saw in canon, but I thought manga/anime had this particular reader/viewer addressed form of storytelling which would make no sense in actual conversation these parents would have with their children about their past, so I remade it. Hope it's not irritating that I did so.
Also, hope nobody minds I pretty much recapitulated the whole fight with Shigaraki, but I did not have heart to omit it.
Also I hope you don't mind I did omit most of Enji/Touya encounter, but anime painted Enji's pov so well. And besides he was mostly in shock anyway so.
Stay tuned, next chapter Izuku's gonna actually talk to Enji. I hope the hospital will survive the flood of tears.