Harley P.O. V.
Have you ever had a really bad hangover? A really wicked hangover that seems to last forever on end. Well I had. Up until the Australian outback job I've been to a select few bars in my lifetime. I don't really like bars. Bars, a.k.a. taverns a.k.a. the pub seems to be the most popular place in the world, second only to gas stations, hospitals schools and churchs The amount of taverns in the world is astronomical. You can't walk 20 feet outside without seeing a bar. I don't understand why so many people love bars anyway The interior layout of a bar is always the same: a long counter with tall stools, a pool table, casino games, bathrooms, bright neon lights and a plethora of every drink in the universe. It never changes. Never has, never will.
You could imagine my excitement when I found out that me and the Cooper Gang were going to get miners out of a bar. Yay! A freaking place where you can get drunk off your ass. It's always been a cliche in movies and TV where the main character has to go to a bar to get drunk or to hang out Sometimes there'd be bar fights in movies and TV. The most memorable movie bar fight I've ever seen was the scene in the movie: Pee-Wee's Big Adventure.
The scene begins when Pee-Wee Herman goes into a bar to try and make a phone call. He enters a biker bar. Unfortunately, the bikers are being super loud, so loud that Pee-Wee tries to get them to stay quiet so he could continue his phone conversation. The bikers in the bar don't take Pee-Wee's shushing very well. Pee-Wee gets intimidated by the biker gang and he decides to leave the bar. Just as he's about to leave the bar, Pee-Wee Herman accidentally knocks over their motorcycles. That's when the shit hits the fan. The bikers drag Pee-Wee back into the bar and they are planning on killing him for accidentally knocking over their motorcycles. This woman in a tight leather outfit grabs Pee-Wee Herman by the throat. Just when you think that Pee-Wee Herman is going to be hurt by the bikers, he gets some platform shoes where the song Tequila by The Champs starts to play. Pee-Wee dances to the song wearing the platform shoes. The bikers are impressed by his dancing skills and they end up giving Pee-Wee a motorcycle as a thank you.
That scene, in my opinion, is the best bar scene in any movie or TV show, second only to the bar scene in The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. Which brings me to the event where I got my first ever hangover. Here we were, Sly, Murray, Bentley and me standing outside a bar. Our plan was to drive the miners out of the bar. We needed to act tough to try and intimidate the dingo miners into leaving the bar.
"Alright boys, look tough and get angry, it's time to intimidate the locals." Sly said to us in s serious tone of voice.
"I'm not sure I can do it. How does one get angry?" Bentley asked.
"Find the match deep inside yourself... light it, and then let the fire burn inside your guts and boil your blood!" Murray said.
"Something tells me you have some serious anger management issues. May I recommend you some anger management classes?" I offered the hippo.
"Thanks, but the Guru pretty much helped me control my anger. Thanks for the suggestion, Neyla." Murray said to me.
"You're welcome." I said back to Murray. I was still trapped inside Neyla's body. I have to figure out some way to convince my sister Emily that I was Harley and not Neyla. Make her know something only her and I know about. That was for later. For now, we needed to clear out the miners from the bar.
"Uh yeah, I pretty much do the same thing. Look, our goal is to drive away these miners, and we'll do whatever it takes!" Sly said confidently.
We all headed inside the bar. The inside of the bar looked nice. I saw a bunch of dingoes walking about the place. I was really thirsty at the moment. Sly walked up further into the bar.
"Listen up, dirtbags... Time to clear out, from now on this bar is Cooper Gang turf." Sly said to the dingo miners.
"Tough talk, Wagga, but you ain't got no respect with us. We here are known around these parts for our drinkin' skills. This just so happens to be a lemonade bar." the dingo said. Wagga? I thought, Is he a Shakira fan? Does he like the 2010 FIFA World Cup song: Waka Waka (This Time For Africa? I love lemonade! My sister used to run a lemonade stand. It was pretty cool. I eventually convinced her to sell more drinks besides lemonade at her stand. She started selling Coke and Pepsi cans snd bottles to people. I couldn't believe that this bar sold lemonade. I wonder if it sold hard lemonade. I always wanted to drink hard lemonade.
"You guys got lemonade? I love drinking lemonade! Let's have a lemonade drinking contest!" I said to the dingoes. "Bring in your best lemonade drinkers!"
"Fair Drinkum, losers have to clear out." the dingo warned. The lemonade drinking contest began. I asked if they had raapberry lemonade, since I like to drink raspberry lemonade. I like regular lemonade as well, but I like drinking raspberry lemonade better. It tastes better than regular lemonade. Luckily for me, they had raspberry lemonade. The dingo poured me a tall glass of raspberry lemonade. I began to drink the hard raspberry lemonade. I drunk it relatively slowly. I didn't want to drink the lemonade fast because I didn't want to get the hiccups. The raspberry lemonade tasted very good. It was the best lemonade I've ever drank in my entire life. It was like heaven.
I was on my fifth glass when I suddenly felt extremely light-headed. My stomach felt full. I felt extremely nauseous. I felt dizzy. I didn't feel like drinking the lemonade anymore. I staggered clumsily out of my seat. I headed for the front door. I could barely walk straight. My body staggered and swayed from side to side as I walked outside. I was in a drunken stupor. I eventually made it back to the hideout. I opened the door. Emily and the Guru were at the safehouse. They both stayed back at the safehouse to protect it from miners. We offered Emily and the Guru to drink lemonade with us. She and the Guru both declined to join us at intimidating the miners. They were more worried about intruders invading the safehouse.
The moment my sister saw me, she knew I was drunk. I slowly staggered toward Emily. Suddenly, i began to feel like I was going to throw up. I couldn't hold in my vomit. I began to explosively vomit all over my sister's body. I couldn't control my vomiting. I vomited up my stomach contents for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually I stopped vomiting. I felt extremely tired and drowsy. I collapsed to the ground. I barely felt the impact of my body hitting the ground. My vision went black. This was the beginning of my hangover. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea downing five glasses of hard raspberry lemonade at once.