Chapter 8
It was a very uncomfortable gathering in Nikolai's study an hour later. The king was subdued and sober, while Alina was practically crackling with indignation over his plan. She had brought in everyone else involved in the situation, probably to gang up on Nikolai and bully him into not giving up. Unfortunately, that wasn't what she got.
"It's worth considering," Zoya said.
Alina's brows shot upward. "How can you even think of helping to murder the king of Ravka?" she snapped angrily.
"Could you say that louder?" Nikolai muttered. "I don't think the First Army heard you."
Alina glowered at him, then whirled back to Zoya.
"I don't want to consider this," the Squaller rejoined. "But we have to think of Ravka."
"I wish you all would stop using that as an excuse."
"What would you have us do?" Zoya said. "Nikolai is being poisoned from the inside out. He's sick and in pain and it's only getting worse. Ravka needs a strong ruler, a stable ruler." She paused and glanced at Nikolai, but there was no customary quip from him about his prowess, no snarky retort.
Mal dropped his gaze to the floor. The weight of what they were discussing was sickening. When it had been Kirigan they were facing, the action was clear—stop him at all costs. Giving their lives in battle was an understood necessity. But this was entirely different. Nikolai wasn't the enemy; the thing inside him was. And yet the two couldn't be separated, and what were they supposed to do about that?
"There is one last option," Tolya spoke up, garnering everyone's attention. "I didn't mention it before because it was just a tale I had read of once. But I just finished parsing out the last details. It's called the obisbaya. It's a purification ritual said to remove monsters from men."
They all straightened at that.
"What's involved in it?" Genya asked.
"We must travel to the sacred thorn wood, which after extensive research, I've determined is in the center of the Fold, where it was created and destroyed."
Alina frowned. "But nothing's out there anymore."
Tolya nodded. "It is still an ancient place, and perhaps its power still resonates." He paused and looked at Nikolai, his expression serious. "The ritual involves letting the demon out and engaging in a mental battle for control. Once achieved, you must stab yourself through the heart with the sacred thorn."
That earned several looks of disbelief and opposition.
"He has to kill himself?" Alina exclaimed. "How is that better?"
"The ritual is not supposed to end in death," Tolya replied. "The act will either excise the demon for good, or…"
"Or what?" Nikolai asked fearfully.
Tolya's mouth thinned. "Or the demon could exert control permanently." He shrugged. "It is not without risk. But it may be the only way to banish the Shadow for good."
They all fell silent in contemplation. Mal could tell Alina didn't like the risk, but it was Nikolai's decision. It was his life they were talking about. So they waited patiently until Nikolai nodded.
"I'll do it."
"And if there is no sacred thorn wood to find?" Zoya asked, ever the pragmatist.
"Could we use the Neshyenyer?" Tamar spoke up. "The ritual may have used the sacred thorn wood in the past, but I doubt it was used for this specific type of monster."
"Good idea," Nikolai said. "The Neshyenyer is the only weapon that can kill the Shadow. Genya, would you retrieve Isaak again? We'll need him to resume my visage while I'm gone."
She nodded and exited the room.
He turned to Alina next. "You should stay here."
"Absolutely not."
Nikolai sighed. "Alina, Ravka needs—"
"I know very well what Ravka needs," she cut him off sharply. "And I'm choosing you."
Nikolai wisely dropped the subject.
"I'll get the Kingfisher ready," Mal said and headed out. Tolya, Tamar, and Nadia came with him.
Alina arrived shortly thereafter, the Neshyenyer blade in hand. They waited a little longer until Nikolai appeared, dressed in plain clothes and a cloak to conceal his face. Only Zoya was with him. They came aboard, and Nikolai nodded they could go. So Mal pulled the lever to adjust the sails and Nadia filled them, and they set sail into the sky, heading toward the dismantled Fold.
Once out of sight of the Grand Palace, Nikolai removed his hood and stood at the bulwark, tilting his head into the winds. Mal got the uncomfortable feeling he was enjoying one last moment of freedom before walking the executioner's block.
They reached the center of the Fold and landed. The area was as barren as the day Alina had brought it down. Tolya and Tamar lowered the gangplank, and they started to disembark. Nikolai hung back until he and Mal were last, and then he reached out to snag Mal's arm.
"If this doesn't work," he began, "you need to make sure Alina marries my double tomorrow."
"Don't think like that," Mal started.
"Ravka must be secure," Nikolai urged. "Promise me."
Mal exhaled heavily. "All right," he murmured. "I promise."
Nikolai nodded in gratitude. "I've made arrangements to fake my death after the wedding. Alina and Isaak tailored to look like me will travel to the Summer Palace. He'll be seen entering my private room, followed by a masked figure. They will both slip out through a secret tunnel behind a wall panel, and then explosives will destroy everything. There will be no bodies." He grimaced. "Fjerda or Shu Han will likely be accused, that can't be avoided. But there will be no proof. And this way at least, Alina should be safe."
Mal shook his head. "You have thought about this in way too much detail."
Nikolai gave him a small, wry smile. "Our roles are reversed. Now I leave my country in your hands and ask that you deserve her. But I know you will."
He turned to head down the gangplank, but Mal stopped him and pulled him into a fierce hug. It felt like this goodbye was already set in stone, and Mal didn't want it to be. He drew back and pulled out Nikolai's lucky compass, which he had carried every day since Nikolai had given it to him. Now he pressed it back into the king's gloved hands.
"To help you find your way home," Mal said. "The way back to us."
Nikolai's eyes had an emotional sheen, and he nodded solemnly as he took the compass and hung the chain around his neck. Then they finally headed down to join the others.
"Now what?" Zoya asked.
Tolya and Tamar were studying the sand.
"Can you blow some of this away?" Tolya asked her.
She moved her arms up and around, summoning the wind. It kicked up a massive dust whorl that gathered up more and more, until stone and what looked like briars were unearthed. Nadia joined her now, and the two of them managed to excavate an entire temple ruins covered in thorny vines and branches.
They all shared tense looks and then ventured down into it.
Nikolai had never felt so nervous. Even when fighting in the war, he always managed to muster bravado and charm. Now he couldn't. A spiky lump had taken up residence in his throat and his heart was pounding. It wasn't just his life on the line, but his very soul. If he did not emerge victorious from this, he would be lost forever. And the horror of that was enough to make him balk, but he knew he couldn't remain in this current state either. No matter which way this went, it ended here and now.
They came upon a stone dais and what looked like an altar. Tolya came to a stop. This was the spot, then. Nikolai's hands trembled as he removed his coat and shirt, exposing the wound and the festering shadow. A shiver prickled over his skin that was only tangentially related to the cold. Nadia took his clothes to hold, and Tolya and Tamar guided him over to the dais. To his relief, they directed him to sit at the base of the altar rather than spread out on top of it like some kind of sacrificial lamb. Then they sat on either side of him, and he leaned back against the stone to prop himself up.
Alina brought over the Neshyenyer and pulled it from its scabbard. She knelt down in front of him, their eyes meeting for a poignant moment.
"Wish me luck," he said.
Alina's expression was pinched as she handed him the sword. She cupped his face in both hands and said, "You'd better survive this." Then she tore herself away.
Nikolai struggled to get a firm grip around the hilt as he settled it in his lap and aimed the point up against his heart. His lucky compass hung just below it, and he really hoped he wasn't going to get any blood on it.
Alina, Mal, Zoya, and Nadia stood back to watch, while Tolya and Tamar raised their hands to manipulate Nikolai's breathing and heart rate.
"If I don't win this," he said as quietly as he could before they put him under. "Promise me you will destroy the demon."
The twins looked at each other, but then gave him grave nods. Nikolai breathed a sigh of relief; he knew he could count on them to do what was necessary.
He closed his eyes and let himself sink under their heartrending. His heart rate slowed, becoming a sluggish, methodic beat that reverberated through his ears, lulling him into a trance. He steeled himself and focused on letting his guard down, on letting the demon he'd been fighting to suppress all this time out of its cage.
The Shadow surged forward, that familiar, cloying presence attempting to suffocate him. Nikolai gasped and almost lost his concentration, but he fought through it and managed to escape the fog. The Shadow took shape in his mind's eye, a vicious looking beast with rapacious talons and onyx eyes that gleamed with hunger. Its flesh wafted with waves of smoke like the nichevo'ya. It hissed, and then to Nikolai's shock, spoke.
"Nikolai Nothing."
He faltered at the name his brother used to call him.
"Puny runt," the demon went on in a sibilant voice. "You thought to confront me here, like this?" It scoffed. "You are no match for me."
"I fought you before."
The demon sneered. "Pitiful attempts. It did not stop me from coating our tongue and throat with blood. Did you enjoy it?"
Nikolai's gorge rose as the memory surfaced. "Yet here I am, still in control of this body."
"Not by your own doing. The Sun Summoner did that. And I am still here. I am still you."
"You are not me," Nikolai snapped.
"No? You think you are the one in control now? As you did before, when you knew something was wrong yet kept quiet? I was able to enter your mind even then. And now, drawing me forth like this, you are only cementing the intertwining of our essences. I am you, and you are me."
"No," Nikolai uttered and fought to stuff down the flickers of doubt creeping up like physical shadows to wrap around him.
The demon's black lips parted with a sinister grin, fangs bared. "That is right. There is no separation anymore. You will lose, and I will be free. And then I will finally feed."
Nikolai gritted his teeth. "No. I am going to banish you back to the nothing you came from."
The demon laughed, a sound that made Nikolai's skin crawl. "You are weak. A sack of blood and bones."
"I am king of Ravka."
"Illegitimate," it spat. "Nothing more than a bastard son of a disgraced queen."
"It doesn't matter. Ravka needs a good king, a better king than before, and I am it."
The demon scoffed, its derision scraping across Nikolai's mind like claws. "What good have you done as king? Your country is broken, beset on all fronts by war. Your only advantage is your engagement to the Sun Summoner. She is the real power. And you have already made arrangements for her to take the throne without you. You are unnecessary."
Nikolai hesitated, unable to argue with that point. His lapse cost him, as the demon surged forward and grabbed him by the throat. Nikolai gasped and clawed at the hulking arm but couldn't pry it off.
"You have been that your entire life," the demon went on, hissing in his face. "A throwaway prince, and now a throwaway king. Everyone is against you. Why not give in? I will show them for you. I will make them pay for their insolence."
"No," Nikolai grunted.
The demon cocked its head, leaning down to purr in Nikolai's ear. "It would be so much easier. No more struggle, no more pain. No more fear."
Nikolai flinched. He couldn't breathe.
"Let Alina Starkov take the throne," the demon crooned. "Surrender to me."
"Surrender- means death- for us both," he gritted out. "My friends will see to that."
"Yes, your friends," it sneered. "They will kill you without hesitation. That is how little they value Nikolai Nothing."
He tried to shake his head but couldn't move with the demon still squeezing his throat.
"They will get on with their lives without giving you a second thought," it went on. "Alina will wed her true love, and the two will live their happily ever after. They will rule Ravka. Tolya and Tamar already left you, went back to the Volkvolny. Malyen Oretsev replaced you. The others do not even like you, let alone respect you. No one has ever truly cared about you. How could they? You do not let anyone get close. Always playing a role. Puppy Prince. Privateer. False King."
"That's not true."
"Yes it is. Even Dominik sacrificed himself for a king, an idea. If it weren't for you, he might still be alive."
Nikolai's heart twisted with anguish, and the shadows swarmed around him, forming a cocoon. He couldn't see anything but darkness and the demon's face as it leered over him.
"I am all you have," it hissed. "I see you. No more lies, no more masks. No more loneliness. No more heartache."
Nikolai could feel himself weakening. The Shadow coiled about him, seeping into his extremities and working its way to his heart. He was going to fail. The demon was right, someone always came to save him. Dominik. Alina. There was no one to help him now. His heart thumped wildly inside his head. Alone. He was alone.
An echo pushed its way through the miasma. Another beat of drums, slower, steadier. No, two beats. Two hearts. They reached out to his and drew its rhythm in, syncing it with theirs. Tolya and Tamar. They were beside him right now, their hearts joined as one.
Nikolai felt the weight of his lucky compass resting against his chest. His friends were with him. He didn't need them to save him. He could save himself, because they believed he could. They believed he could save Ravka.
Nikolai stilled his struggles and looked up to meet the demon's eye. The beast faltered, its composure slipping.
"I am not alone," he said and pushed the shadows away with a burst of wind that would make Zoya proud.
The demon released him and staggered backward, then spat in fury. "No."
"I am Nikolai Lantsov." He strode forward, bearing down on the demon.
It flinched and lashed out, but Nikolai steeled himself and managed to deflect the mental blow. The demon stumbled. Nikolai poured all his might into battering the creature, until it was pinned on the ground at his feet.
"You will not have me," Nikolai declared, and he stretched out his senses to reconnect with his physical body. He felt his hands wrapped around the sword hilt, poised to make the final move.
The demon's eyes blew wide and it tried to lunge with a shriek. But Nikolai plunged the Neshyenyer into his heart.