Frank walked out his door and down the street to the school, noticing Gerard coming down the opposite street. His heart weighed a thousand pounds in his chest and his voice wouldn't work to yell across at him. Gerard noticed him watching and waved, crossing the street to walk with him.
"You look a little….down," he whacked Frank on the back through his book bag.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that. I mean, I didn't have, like, an outlet or anything last night so…" Frank looked away, hoping Gerard would apologize.
"Oh, well that sucks. You didn't do anything… dangerous, right?"
Frank clenched his hand into a fist but remembered who he was dealing with.
"Yeah, it does suck. You know what else sucks? Seeing you with that girl yesterday," he blurted out. Gerard looked surprised and stopped walking for a minute.
"You were watching me? Us?" He grabbed Frank's book bag strap but let go, remember what had happened last time he'd done that. Frank spun around, angry and trying not to break down on the spot.
"No, I wasn't! But it doesn't even matter if I was or not, because that wouldn't change anything. If you weren't with her, I would still go home and try to kill myself or cut or maybe even overdose, I don't know. But I thought you said you would be there even after what I did? Well, don't you think rejecting me was probably something you could have been there for? I know you don't like me and you don't want that to happen but you could have been nicer about it! I could be dead right now if it weren't for the fact that I saw the diary that I burnt. You know what was in that diary?" He gasped for breath, waiting for an answer. Gerard's eyes were red and a tear rolled down his cheek.
"I wrote all the things you'd done for me in that. Everything. And then I wrote how I would thank you for it. There were so many times that I had written how much I loved you in that diary and seeing all the pieces burnt up just hurt so much, I couldn't even cut last night." Frank looked down at his feet and headed for his house.
"Wait. Did you really do all that? I mean, am I really the only reason you're not…dead?" Gerard asked without turning to look at him.
"Yeah, you always were." Frank kept walking, burning tears rolling down his cheeks. He turned back, but Gerard was already back on his way to the school. He kept walking, deciding that he didn't need to go to school. He yanked open the door to the house and slid down onto the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. He curled up, shaking. He wrapped his arms around himself as tight as he could, feeling like he was being ripped apart. Nothing was going right and everything was falling down around him. His life was completely upside down. No one was there to help him anymore.