Hello to my lovely readers! I've been very good at updating up until the last two chapters, but I assure you I will not be giving up. My life has just become very busy, so you can probably expect an update every other week.

Happy Hump Day!

With only two weeks until school starts, working at NYSTEM feels more monotonous than ever. I'm distracted all day long. Firstly, I have Meredith to think about. She seems happy enough to be on her own, but I hope she's not bored with the hours and hours of time alone. Secondly, I worry about school. With my senior year right around the corner, I'll be doubling up to finish my undergrad classes and beginning my med school ones. My work load is about to triple from the last semester and I barely made it through with my original work load. Trying to juggle my time is going to be impossible.

The third worry surrounds Thatcher Grey's suicide. I haven't mentioned any of my concerns to Meredith, but I can't help but focus on the facts Meredith has given me. She found her father dead in the bathroom after ingesting pills and alcohol. Her mother showed up just seconds later and forced her from the room. Meredith waited outside while the ambulance took her already dead father away and she never heard about him again.

But then there's the information she's given me about the person her father is. Was. As her mother easily overlooked Meredith, Thatcher swooped in and took on the role of mother and father. He took Meredith away for the weekend and made sure she grew up happy and loved. No father—no matter how sick—would ever allow his child to find him dead. Either Thatcher didn't know Meredith's schedule, which seems very unlikely, or his death wasn't as cut and dry as everyone claimed.

It's none of my business, really. Thatcher died years ago and the case has since been closed, but I can't help but want to give Meredith the gift of knowing her father would never have left her intentionally.

The question that keeps me distracted every waking minute is: what did happen to Thatcher?

While I catalog blood samples, I mull over the facts again and again. There's no way to investigate, especially since his death was ruled a suicide, but all I want to do is get my hands on his death certificate. Maybe there will be more information or even an ounce of speculation.

As I leave work, I Google the number for the Boston coroner's office.

"Chief Medical Examiner's office of Boston, how may I direct your call?"

"Hi. I'd like to speak to someone about a death that occurred a few years ago."

"Name of the deceased?"

"Thatcher Grey."

"One moment please."

I walk past my subway stop while the typically awful elevator music plays in the background. After a few seconds, and passing two grown men walking ducks on leashes, the phone picks up. "Sir, could you please let me know your relationship to the deceased?"

I think about lying, but I know with my limited knowledge, I would never get away with it. "I'm a friend." The last thing I need to do is drag Meredith into this.

"I'm sorry, sir, but Mr. Grey's death record is sealed to the public."

"Aren't all death certificates available to the public?"

"Traditionally, yes, but some records are sealed, such as Mr. Grey's. You would have to be family to have access to it."

"I just need to know what the coroner ruled as the cause of death."

"I'm sorry, but I can't give you any further information."

"Can I speak to your manager?"

"That would be the coroner, and he'll tell you the exact same information. Like I said, if a family member wanted more information on Mr. Grey's death, he or she could contact us directly and share that information with you. But unfortunately, my hands are tied."

I pause beside the next subway stop and run a hand across my forehead. "Yeah, okay. Thanks anyway."

"Have a nice day." Click.

As if I wasn't curious enough before, now I'm completely suspicious.

Meredith's sits on the front stoop as I approach. On her knee rests a bottle of nail polish and she focuses on painting the big toe of her right foot. She looks completely adorable.

"Hey."

She looks up with a smile. "Hi."

I lean down and brush my lips across hers. It's a greeting, soft and simple. I sit down beside her, watching as she turns her attention back to her nails. "I didn't know you were a nail polish girl."

Meredith smirks and pulls the brush away to inspect her work. "There's a lot you don't know about me." He leans forward to continue. "Izzie always liked doing pedicures. I'm not a fingernail polish person, but I liked painting my toenails. It's my one girly hobby." She caps the polish and holds her freshly painted purple toes out for me to see. "You like?"

"Yes, very sexy."

She leans in for another kiss, which I grant her. Meredith's lips part and if not for the busy street before us, I would have taken full advantage of kissing her. "How was your day?" she asks as I pull away.

"Boring. I can't wait to be done."

"But this internship is important, right?"

"Absolutely. It's one of the most sought after in the field, but I don't really have any interest in experimental medicine. Even so, it'll look great on my resume one day."

"Why'd you take it if you have interest in stem-cell research?"

I take her left hand and lace my fingers through hers. "My dad is good friends with the director of NYSTEM. It just seemed natural that I'd take him up on his offer. During my next internship, I'm going to choose something closer to what I want to do."

"And what's that?"

"Cardio or neuro—you know, brains."

Meredith smiles, "My mother is a surgeon. I probably know more than you do." I narrow my eyes at the insinuation. Meredith continues, "I see you doing cardio."

"If I remember correctly, you had some pretty interesting theories about each surgical field."

"Oh, I do, but that's not why I think you should do cardio. I watched the hospital for years and it always seemed like the cardio surgeons cared just a bit more. That's you. You care. The heart and brain are equally important, but it's the heart that physically reacts—it skips a beat or beats faster. I think holding a human heart in your hand might be the coolest thing ever."

I can't help but break into a smile. I run my fingers through her hair to grip the back of her neck. She blinks at me. "You're so smart." I kiss her lips. "How did I end up with such a smart girlfriend?"

Meredith smiles against my mouth. "You're a smart guy, too, so you made a well-educated choice."

"Is that what this is?"

"Among other things," she whispers and kisses me again.

"And how long do these public displays usually go on?" Mark asks as he shadows over us.

Meredith sighs and stretches her legs out in front of her. "Hi Mark." I simply glare at my friend.

"Meredith, it's so good to see your face not plastered to this one," he motions to me. "Are you ready to go?"

"Go? Go where?"

Meredith stands up, handing me the nail polish. "We have a date." She leans down and kisses me, cupping my ear. "Will you bring this upstairs?"

"Wait, what's going on?" I ask Mark.

"I'm taking Meredith out to dinner."

I stand up, feeling my anxiety level rising. "Why?"

"Because you and I are the only people Meredith knows here and the amount of time she's spending with you is sickening. She needs to experience other people and places."

"By other places do you mean you're taking her to some sketchy part of the Bronx?"

Mark rolls his eyes at me. "Chill man, I won't let anything bad happen. It's just a friendly dinner among friends."

"Really Derek," Meredith touches my arm, "its fine. We're just going to dinner."

I suddenly feel very ganged up on. I force a smile anyway. "Yeah, sure. Of course you should have dinner with Mark." It feels wrong even saying the words. "Have a nice time."

Meredith leans down and kisses me again. She closes my hand over her nail polish. "We'll be two hours, tops."

"Make it three in case I get lucky."

My jaw snaps. "Mark," Meredith groans, "please be nice."

"Fine. I'll have her home for dessert," Mark winks.

Meredith colors. "Yeah, on that note… let's go. Bye Derek."

"Bye," I can't even pretend to smile.

I sit on my stoop for a long time, moping and feeling generally bad about everything, but after a while I retire to my apartment. With a pizza on its way and a six-pack cooling in the fridge, I lie down on the couch for two hours of wallowing.

There's no reason to be mad really, since nothing would ever happen between Mark and Meredith, but that thought that Meredith needs time with someone else—as if I'm not enough—makes me feel completely inadequate. I think myself in a circle—wondering if I'm smothering her or if the week we've been together has been it. Maybe she's had enough. And then I realize I am acting self-conscious, which is about as unattractive as I could ever be.

I sit up, deciding to feel happy that Mark has taken such a vested interest in keeping Meredith happy, and crack open my second beer just as the doorbell rings. I press the call-button, "Come on up."

After a few moments, the delivery guy knocks on my door. I'm counting out bills as I open the door, but standing on the other side isn't a pimply-faced teenager. Ellis Grey. I nearly drop the money in my hand.

"Derek Shepherd," she smiles, "may I come in?"

In a state of panic, I look towards Meredith's room, but find the door blessedly closed. "Yeah," I manage as soon as I find my voice.

Ellis steps past me and into my apartment, which suddenly feels much, much smaller. She's dressed just as a woman who has money would be dressed—in designer jeans, a perfectly dry-cleaned blouse, and diamonds in her ears and on her fingers.

I know it's rude to just stand and stare, but I honestly can't think of anything else to do.

Ellis looks around my apartment before facing me. "This place is nice. I guess your father made a tidy sum when IKEA bought his ideas."

"How did you know about that?"

"It's a matter of public record. In fact, your local newspaper did a front page article right after he received the deal. Everything following the deal makes sense: your older sisters transferring to better schools, your younger sister and yourself being enrolled in private school, the big move to Connecticut and the trip to Australia. It seems your parents were pretty generous in the beginning and became increasingly frugal."

"How do you know all this?"

Ellis eyes the second bedroom door and my stomach turns over. "I have a vested interest in your life, especially since my daughter has been living with you."

"I—"

"Please don't waste your breath with a lie. I know much more about your life than you know, Derek Christopher Shepherd. Like I know you have a reputation for being a big partier, which comes as no shock considering your close friendship with Mark Harrison Sloan. I hear you left various clubs and bars with no less than ten women in March of this year. Now, whether you slept with them all or not, that's up for debate. You're quite charming when you need to be. Of course none of that matters as much as my daughter's presence in your life."

"I haven't seen her," I manage to say.

Ellis smiles and it hauntingly resembles Meredith's. "Derek, you can't possibly think I'm that naïve. If I've done my research correctly, I understand you had dinner at Centro last Friday. On Saturday you and Meredith went to the beach with Mark and met three mutual friends—Owen Hunt, Addison Montgomery, and Preston Burke. Meredith wore a white bikini and you two were practically mating in the water."

"We weren't!"

She smiles. "Ah, honesty, it seems."

"Why are you here?"

"I've come to discuss Meredith's present situation, of course. May I sit?"

I think about telling her no, but the fact that she knows everything makes me feel sick. She has me by the balls and if I don't at least try to be nice, she can very easily rip Meredith away from me. And who knows what will happen to Meredith if she returns to her mother's care? "Yes," I say curtly.

Ellis lowers herself to the edge of the couch—the very couch I made out with Meredith on this morning.

"Will you join me?"

I begrudgingly sit down in the chair across from her.

"We seem to have a bit of a problem. You see, Meredith is a minor and what you're doing as of late could actually be considering kidnapping."

"You know I didn't kidnap her!"

"I know that, but it doesn't mean the judicial system does." My face must read the shock I feel. "I'm not complaining to the police yet, Derek, but believe me, I will."

"You want something," I confirm.

Ellis nods, "Yes, I want my daughter back."

"That's not your choice."

"Being that she's a minor, it's completely my choice. You, on the other hand, are not related at all—which is good considering you're violating her body."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"If you're not sleeping with my daughter yet, I'm sure you will in the near future. Luckily for you, the laws in this state do not prohibit a twenty-one year old and a seventeen year old having sex—not that I approve. In fact, I think it would be highly inappropriate for you to take advantage of Meredith like that."

"I'm not sleeping with her."

Ellis grins, "Like I said…yet. Anyway, I'm not here to talk to you about your sexual relationships. I'm here because we both know it's time for Meredith to come home. I have a new place right off the park, so Meredith could still live in the city and be close to you. I won't stop your relationship, but I'd require that she spent every night in her own bed and not yours."

"And what about the fact that you abused her? Is she just expected to forget that?"

"Derek, you're a very smart young man, so I find it hard to believe that you can be so moronic. Do you really believe I hit my daughter?"

"She told me you did."

"And I suppose Meredith has never lied to you in the past? Believe what you will about me, Derek, but I'm not a monster. Meredith is a teenager, and being that you're not too far from that phase in your life either, I'd think you'd remember how incorrigible teenagers can be. Meredith was very angry back in Massachusetts, especially after her father died. I've tried my best, but unfortunately, my daughter is much more like me than I'd have imaged possible. She is stubborn and headstrong. Meredith doesn't like to follow rules and she certainly does not listen to me."

I shake my head, believing Meredith might have been a tough teenager, but not for a second allowing Ellis to manipulate me into thinking Meredith made her rocky relationship with her mother up. "So you weren't an alcoholic?"

"No."

"You're unbelievable. You come in here, threaten me, lie to me, and expect that I'll just consent. I'm not your subordinate; I'm not your child; and I don't have to listen to you."

"I've been very patient with you Derek. I've known where you lived the moment you showed up at my home. I've known Meredith has been living with you for weeks, but I've allowed this little charade to go on because I can tell she's happy with you. Which is why I'm willing to allow your relationship to continue when Meredith comes home."

"She is home."

Ellis shakes her head and I recognize the familiar look of disappointment on her face. "You're making this very difficult."

"She'll be eighteen in October. Just let her stay. You know she's here and safe. What difference does it make?"

"Meredith will be eighteen in October, which is precisely why I want her to return home now. She'll leave for good then, and I'll let her go, but for the next six weeks, I want to spend time with my daughter. I want her to understand how much I love her and I want her to want to spend time with me in the future."

"That won't happen in six weeks."

"All I can do is try."

I stand up because I am tired of being on the same level of her. "Do you understand how unhappy she'll be if you make her come back?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then why do it?" I face Ellis.

She stands as well. "Meredith is my daughter, Derek. I want her to be happy, but I also know that she's been through a lot and what she really needs is family."

"She's been through a lot because you've put her through a lot!"

"This conversation is going in circles and I'm no longer patient. Meredith will be returned to her proper home by Sunday evening or I'll press charges. I'm sure you're aware of the severity of the charges I can press—harboring a runaway and kidnapping. The harboring is only a one year prison-term, but kidnapping is up to twenty-five years."

"You know I didn't kidnap her."

"I don't know anything, Derek, because my daughter hasn't been around for four months to tell me. I'll see you Sunday. Enjoy your weekend."

Ellis opens my front door. "What about Thatcher?"

She turns. "What about him?"

"How did he die?"

"I'm sure Meredith told you; he committed suicide."

"And you just so happened to be there right after she found his body?"

Ellis narrows her eyes. "I'm not sure what you're insinuating, Mr. Shepherd, but I can assure you my husband's death was a suicide."

"Being a doctor, I'd think you'd be pretty good at masking someone's murder."

"Watch yourself, Derek. I wouldn't want anyone to be brought down by false accusations."

"I don't know anything, because I wasn't there," I reiterate her words back to her. "Meredith will not be returning to you and you can try to pin me for kidnapping, but it'll never happen. Go back to work Ellis and forget about getting Meredith back. When she's ready, she'll visit you, but I can guarantee it will not be before her birthday."

Ellis smirks, "Well then, I'll see you Monday as the police drag you from your home." She steps out of my apartment and slams the door behind her.

I sit on the couch for the next hour while I wait out Meredith's return. I don't know what to do. I know I should tell her, but she'll return to her mother's house for my benefit and not her own. If I don't tell her, and I get carted away to jail on Monday, she'll be hurt that I didn't give her the chance to prevent my arrest.

Being arrested really isn't on my short list of things I want to accomplish in my life. But I won't let Ellis win. However, if I am arrested, she wins. If I return Meredith, she wins. Either way, Ellis wins and Meredith and I both lose.

The apartment door opens and Meredith and Mark walk in all smiles. "Hey," Meredith greets and crosses the room towards me. She leans down and kisses me.

"You can wipe that hurt look off your face, Shep. We just went to dinner."

I force a smile. "Hey." I kiss her again.

"Okay, well I'll just see myself out."

Meredith pulls away. "Thanks again, Mark." She smiles wide.

"Anytime Grey." He winks and then nods at me. "See you later."

As Mark shuts the door, I turn my attention back to Meredith. She kicks off her shoes and drops her purse onto the floor. She climbs into my lap. "Hi again." Her fingers trace my brow.

"Hi to you, too." I feel better just having her here.

She leans in and I greedily press my mouth to hers. Maybe it's the knowledge that no matter what, our honeymoon phase—however short it was—is over, or maybe it's because I've wanted her from the beginning, but either way, all I want to do is have sex with Meredith. I run my hands up the back of her shirt, feeling the band of her bra, and scratch my nails beneath the fabric. She moans into my mouth and falls lax against my chest. I kiss across her cheeks as she says, "Oh my god that feels good." I kiss her mouth again, dragging my hands down to her hips.

Meredith's mood changes as well and she turns into me, straddling my lap. Her mouth is warm and demanding against mine as she senselessly kisses me. Her hips roll against mine and all manner of composure seems to evaporate quickly. Meredith tears her mouth from mine and kisses along my jaw before she tugs on my earlobe with her teeth. I expel a long sigh and close my eyes as she moves down along my neck. Her hands fist my shirt and her back hunches as she contorts to reach every angle. I slide my fingers up her sides, pausing just below her armpits and open my eyes just as her mouth presses to mine again.

In an instant, I have Meredith on her back against the couch. She hangs to my neck, our lips fused together. I kiss her neck and lavish her exposed collarbones. Her breathing is ragged. Meredith grabs the back of my shirt, just below the collar, and begins to tug. I help her remove my shirt and lay down on top of her to feel closer. She arches up into me, pressing her boobs to my chest. Her hands move along my bare skin and nothing has ever felt so good. Her lips find my shoulders and biceps and all I can do is watch her as she attentively explores my body.

I reach under her shirt again and begin to push it up over her belly. She sits up on her elbows so I can remove her shirt. I immediately latch onto her collarbones again before descending down her body to the valley between her breasts. I kiss the top of each covered mound and palm her left one evenly. "Oh god," she sighs and rolls her head back. Her hips continue to roll into me and I feel my erection pressing painfully against my jeans. I run my hand along myself, between us, and feel her warmth against the back of my hand. I palm her then through her shorts and she gasps.

Meredith reaches up and drags my mouth back to hers while I touch her. She wraps her left leg around my back and digs her heel into my spine. Our tongues fight inside her mouth and the passion of it all is overwhelming. I don't even think when I unbutton her shorts and slide my hand in to make skin-on-skin contact, and as soon as I do, Meredith grabs my forearm and digs her nails into my skin. I pull back to look at her—to observe her lust. Her opens her eyes to me and pants while I discover her. I slide a finger inside her and feel like crumbling from the heat under my skin.

I withdraw my hand with an audible groan from her. Instead, I reach up and unlatch her bra, but just as I'm about to expose herself to me, I think of Ellis.

I pull away.

Meredith sits up on her elbows. "What's wrong?" she pants.

I stand up and run a hand through my hair. I'm still hard and I still want her, but Ellis's words—Ellis's poison—has infiltrated my brain. I turn away from her so I can calm down, but after a minute, Meredith is pressed to my side.

"Is is something I did?"

"No, of course not," I reassure her and turn. She's put her bra back on, but her shirt remains on the floor and her shorts remain open.

"Is it too fast? I know we haven't talked about this, but I'm ready."

I cup her cheek, needing to have physical contact with her. I'm so on the fence with everything, but one thing's for sure: I need Meredith to make any decisions for herself. I won't keep that from her. "Meredith, I need to tell you something."

Her eyes grow wide. "Okay."

I wet my lips and swallow, feeling all the signs of vomiting in my stomach, but I push the feeling aside. She looks so beautiful and warm and all I want to do is drag her to my bed, but it seems wrong. It is wrong. Not after everything that happened today. So I bite the bullet, "Your mother came to see me today." Meredith visibly coils away from me. "She threatened me and if I don't return you to her care by Sunday night, she's going to have me arrested for harboring a runaway and kidnapping."

After a beat, Meredith says, "Fuck."