Gah...I'm so bad at keeping promises. Why do I make them?

This is a day overdue...but more like two months overdue. I have 8,000 excuses, but none that matter now that an update is here! Sorry for the delay, but thank you all for your words of encouragement.

If you haven't done so already, check out my new one-shot called "In a Bottle." It was my birthday present to you guys (my birthday was yesterday!)

Enjoy! And happy weekend :)

After sitting for nearly ten hours, everything aches. I don't dare lie on the mattress; I have no idea who's slept in the same spot and if I have anything left after my dignity, good name, and freedom has been stripped from me—it's my health.

For the first hour or so, I paced. And then I grew tired and frustrated, so I just sat.

I stare through the bars, trying to imagine anywhere but here, and of course I think of Meredith.

Two Days Ago

Meredith leans against me in bed. We didn't talk about it last night. How could we? The position Ellis has put us in is impossible. If I keep Meredith here, someone will show up and take her right out from under me. But if I willingly hand her over to her mother, I can't keep her safe. Either way, Ellis wins. Either way, Meredith and I lose and she'll be kept her away from me. I don't care what Ellis promised, I don't believe for a second that she'd just allow Meredith to come and go as she pleases. In fact, the next time I might see Meredith is her birthday.

I tighten my grip around her shoulders. For now, I have her.

The morning is beautiful. The sky is perfectly blue and the temperature has dropped considerably. Autumn is in the air and after such a hot summer, New Yorkers are celebrating. The streets below are especially loud and busy, but I can't hear much beside Meredith's even breath against my chest.

I touch her hair.

I kiss her forehead.

I don't want her to be taken from me.

Meredith tips her face up to me. I see the worry in her eyes—the panic. Neither one of us can stand the inevitable future. I don't know if I can stand around and just watch her leave. Watch her be taken right out from under me.

"What are you thinking?" she whispers.

I've created a safe haven for her here. I've given her everything I can to make sure she's safe and happy, but it hasn't helped.

But I don't tell her any of that.

"You're beautiful in the morning." I kiss her lips.

"Are you insinuating I'm not beautiful in the afternoon and evening?" she quips.

I slide down the bed until we're nose-to-nose. "Never. You're always beautiful."

Her cheeks grow red. My heart races. Meredith slides her fingers through mine and holds our hands between our bodies. Her expression changes from amusement to something darker. "Derek, I'm afraid."

I nod. I'm afraid too. But I can't tell her. Instead I kiss the worry from her cheeks, her forehead, the bridge of her nose, her eyelids, and her mouth. I draw her against me and press my nose into her neck. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

Her breath hitches and she clings to me. I feel like we're in that alleyway all over again. But instead of a rapist holding her against the wall, it's her mother blocking her from me.

"What if she—"

I cut her off with a kiss. "I love you," I whisper.

Meredith is tense in my arms, but her face melts to tenderness. "I love you, too."

Present Day

It's dark outside. Through my cell window, I can see the back alley behind the precinct. It looks like the garbage hasn't been picked up in weeks. Thankfully, my window is a thick Plexiglas one, unlike those open, bar-ridden ones you see on TV, so I can't smell the offensive pile. However, just knowing my surroundings are so deplorable makes me antsy to leave.

I'm tired. I want nothing more than to take a nap, but you couldn't pay me to lay my head onto the mattress. The man in the cell beside mine sleeps like a baby; I wish I had his bravery.

A door opens and closes further down the hallway and the click of shoes echoes along the cells. The officer who brought me in stands outside my cell. His face is lined with years of stress—cold and guarded. He smiles, but there's no delight in his eyes. "Your bail has been paid."

Relief floods through me. I walk toward the cell door.

He doesn't move.

"We get all kinds of kids like you in here. Kids that have money and expect us all to bow at your feet. Most of 'em are druggies. Addicted to crack and coke. Some are gamblers and cons. They always get off because their parents are sittin' on 500k a year and they are never told no. There's nothing I hate more than a privileged shithead that gets off.

"But we're not done with you yet. Fucking a seventeen-year-old—keeping her from her mom." He shakes his head. "No. You're not done yet. That little girl's mom is going to press charges and you're going to go to jail."

I stare the officer down. After hours of pacing and worrying about Meredith, the last thing I need is to be harassed by a local cop. "You said I made bail," I remind him.

He sneers at me. "If you so much as step a toe out of line, I will come for you. You don't leave the city and you don't contact that girl. If you do call her, or text her, or throw fucking stones at her window, I will pick you up and that'll be it. No money in the world can bail you out."

"I'd like to go now."

He smirks. "Yeah, I bet you would."

I break my stare because I feel myself breaking. I imagined a lot of outcomes when I first met Meredith, but this was never one of them.

Two Days Ago

Meredith is in the kitchen. She wears one of my shirts and a pair of what she calls "yoga pants." Her hips are pressed to the counter as she slices an apple on the cutting board. We've spent the entire day lying in bed, so her hair is a wreck. She looks beautiful.

"Shit," she groans and sticks her hand beneath the faucet.

"Did you cut yourself?" I walk up to the sink.

A thin stream of blood flows from her finger. "No," she lies.

I rip a paper towel from roll and draw her finger back. I wrap the towel around her wound. "There should be a rule that bans you from any kitchen."

Meredith smiles. "It's only a little cut."

"Yes, but one you got by cutting an apple. Children cut apples. I'm sure monkeys can, too."

"Are you comparing me to a monkey?"

I tuck her hair behind her ears. "You do like bananas a lot."

Meredith laughs and tucks her hands into the back of my shorts. Her fingers are warm through my boxers and my stomach stirs with excitement. After our near-sex, all I can think about is having Meredith in my bed. It's not the right time. She's still shaken up after the run-in I had with her mother and the last thing I want to do is spook her. But the way she walks around my apartment in just a shirt, her long, toned legs crossed over my lap as we watch TV, and her infectious giggle as I tickle her among the sheets—I can't focus. I daydream of having her, but it's not fair. I have to give her time.

So I kiss her. I'm allowed to do that. She sighs against me and folds into my chest, her hands drawing up under the back of my shirt. She laughs as my fingers tickle down her sides and brushes up against me. It takes everything I have not to gasp and pull her closer. Instead I end our kiss and step away.

Now's not the time for that.

I begin cutting the rest of her apple. The last thing I want is to drive her to the hospital because she's cut off her finger.

"What is that?"

"Hmm?" I bite into an apple slice.

Meredith crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm going to be gone in two days. And every time I pull you in, you draw away."

"No I don't," I lie. I focus on cutting the apple.

"Yes, you do. I don't know what we're waiting for."

I set the knife down and stare out the window. I'm waiting for her to be ready. But maybe she's been ready all along.

"I'm not a virgin," she says.

My stomach coils and I drop my chin to my chest. "Great," I say sarcastically.

"Do you want me to be one or something? Am I like damaged goods to you?"

"Of course not," I say to both questions. "It's just…" I glance at Meredith. "It's not something you want to hear when literally all you've been thinking about all day is having sex with your girlfriend."

Meredith relaxes. "Really?" I nod. She reaches forward and touches the back of my hand. "I'm sorry."

I flip my hand up and lace our fingers together. "I'm not holding out because I want to. I just didn't think you were ready. And not because you might be a virgin, but because I don't take sex lightly. I don't sleep with random girls and I just sort of assumed the same for you. I didn't want you to think I've had you here to bed you."

She slides against my body and the counter, touching me all over. "I don't bed random girls either," she whispers with a smirk.

I burst out into laughter. I hold the back of her neck. "Smartass."

I kiss her. And she kisses me back.

Present Day

I walk down the hallway and into an administrative office. Nancy and Kathleen stand as soon as I enter the room. I feel my cheeks flush.

"Okay Mr. Shepherd," the officer sitting behind the desk says. She lifts up an evidence bag. "I am returning to you a watch, a wallet, a cell phone, and a set of keys. Can you sign right here?"

"Are they pressing charges?" Kathleen asks behind me. Leave it to Kathy to use her extensive knowledge of Law & Order as we stand in the police station.

"I would suggest Mr. Shepherd gets himself a good lawyer," the cop who let me out sneers.

I sign the form as fast as humanly possible. I pocket my things and turn to my sisters. But the cop stands in my way.

"No contact," he reminds me. "You'll probably be receiving a subpoena any day now."

I say nothing. He steps aside and I slide past him. Both my sisters wrap their arms around me and lead me from the police station.

Two Days Ago

I let Meredith lead me. I'm not used to taking the backseat in this, but I want her as comfortable as possible. Her hands are soft, yet demanding against me, and her mouth travels up and down my throat, never following the same path twice. I shiver as she licks a particularly sensitive spot at the base of my throat, right near my racing pulse point.

Meredith pins me to the counter with her hips. I touch her hair, her back, her sides, and I kiss her back with enthusiasm.

She steps back from me and tugs at the hem of her shirt, pulling the entire thing up and over her head. Besides her underwear, she's naked. I take my time looking at her. Her skin is perfectly pale and freckled and the subtle curves of her body look enticing. She stands still the entire time, never once self-conscious underneath my gaze. I wet my lips, curl my hand in her hair, and drag her mouth back to mine.

Present Day

Nancy and Kathleen are shockingly quiet when I climb into Nancy's car. Nancy heads towards the highway, but I remind her, "I can't leave the state."

No Connecticut for me.

We veer back towards my apartment. I can feel the tension rolling off their skin.

I stare out the window. It's easier to ignore the elephant in the room when I'm thinking of Meredith.

Two Days Ago

We end up in her old room. Since Meredith moved into my room, her room has been turned into a storage space for all her stuff. She still dresses in that room, so her clothes are all over, but Meredith clears them before sitting down on the edge of the bed. I draw my shirt off and lean down onto her, kissing the tops of her breasts. Meredith holds the back of my head in place and sighs as I kiss across her sternum and back to her neck.

Meredith scoots back and I follow, pressing my hips against hers.

I kiss down her stomach, running my fingers along her bare legs, and kiss just above the top of her panties.

Present Day

"What happened, exactly?" Kathleen asks as we drive past the park. I know they're taking me the long way home, but instead of fighting it, I just stare out the window.

"I got arrested."

Nancy stares at me in the rearview mirror. "That's not what she means."

"And you know it," Kathleen adds.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"We drove all the way down here. The least you can do is explain what happened."

I close my eyes. Maybe if I focus hard enough, I'll envision Meredith.

"Who's Meredith?" Kathleen asks.

"She's none of your business."

Two Days Ago

I lie on my back with Meredith parallel. She stretches along me, her legs cradling either side of my hips. Her fingers dance down my stomach and to the waist of my shorts. I let out a shuttering breath as she cups me. Her mouth closes on mine.

Meredith cups my cheek with her other hand and as her mouth pulls from mine, she slides her thumb down my lips. Her hand disappears into my shorts and she draws me into her hand. My eyes close and I sigh.

A moment later, Meredith is straddling my thighs and pulling my shorts down. I feel the cool air sweep across me as I spring free. I open my eyes and gaze at Meredith just as her mouth wraps around me.

"Jesus," I gasp and fall back against the mattress. "You don't have to."

Meredith kisses below my bellybutton. "I know."

She returns her attention and I slip away into unbridled bliss.

Present Day

"Is she worth all this?" Nancy asks. "Not that it matters, because everything's already happened, but is she really worth the loss of…everything?"

"Yes." I say to my reflection. "She's worth whatever happens to me."

Two Days Ago

I stare down at her naked body. It seems unimaginable that I'm in this position, ready to love her, and having her willing to take me. Her legs are wrapped around my back and her hands grip my forearms. I touch her clit with my thumb and tease her entrance with my forefinger. She digs her nails into my arms and arches up against the mattress. I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life.

As I slide a condom on, I make sure to kiss her thoroughly. Meredith already seems sluggish from lust, but the fire brims under her skin. She rolls her hips as soon as I slide between her thighs.

The second she envelopes me, a groan builds up my throat and rumbles in my chest.

Meredith smiles at me and I kiss her for the thousandth time.

Present Day

Nancy stops in front of my apartment. For a second I think they might just drop me off, but Nancy promises to be right back—after she finds a parking space—and leaves Kathleen to follow me upstairs.

My apartment feels cold when I walk in. I don't even hold the door open for Kathleen as I immediately head towards my room. Everything is gone. Everything that matters, at least. The only thing that lingers is the scent of her hair. The guest room is also empty. Her clothes, her shoes, her hairbrush, and her lip gloss are all long-since gone. I lean against the door jam, hoping something might remain, but it's just…empty.

"Derek," Kathleen sighs, "what happened? They said you were arrested for harboring a runaway."

"She took her."

"Who took who?"

I knock my head against the trim. "Her mother."

Kathleen touches my arm. It should be comforting, only it's not. "Whose mother?"

"Meredith." Just saying her name hurts.

"Is she the one? The girl you kept here."

"I didn't keep her," I practically spit. "She wasn't some goddamn pet."

Kathleen raises her hands and nods. "I didn't mean it that way. I just meant: is she the one that had you sitting in jail all night?"

"No. I mean, yes, she's the reason they locked me up, but it isn't because of anything she did. I couldn't just leave her on the streets. Not after what almost happened. I saved her." I stare at my sister. "She was alone and I saved her."

"And you fell in love with her."

I look away. "That wasn't supposed to happen."

Two Days Ago

Meredith laughs beside me. It's infectious. It's beautiful. She's beautiful.

I make sure to kiss her all over.

She shivers and I draw the blankets up around us. Meredith tucks her arms against my chest, between our bodies, and smiles.

"What are you smiling about?"

She kisses my chin. "That was amazing."

"Yeah."

"Open your eyes," she demands.

"Can't. Too tired."

Meredith throws her leg across my hip. "How can you possibly be tired? It's not like it lasted long or anything."

My eyes spring open. She's smirking at me. "You better be kidding me."

Meredith rolls on top of me. "Of course I am. I just wanted you to open your eyes."

"Well, I did. And now I need to nap." I throw my arm over my eyes.

Within seconds, she's forcing my arm away. "Derek Christopher Shepherd," she whispers and kisses my mouth. "I love you. Please wake up."

"Physically exhausted."

"Please. Please."

I open my eyes again.

"Don't sleep yet. I don't want this moment ever to go away."

I wrap her in my arms. "It won't. I promise."

Present Day

"Monday morning came and went and I thought we were home free. I thought she'd just let us be. I was wrong." I tell my sisters as they sit patiently and watch me pace the living room.

"By the afternoon, we were relaxing and planning dinner, but just after four, someone buzzed to be let up. Ellis took Meredith first. She didn't even let me kiss her goodbye. Meredith didn't fight much, because what's the point. I shouted that I'd call later, but for some reason I knew I wouldn't be able to. The police showed up fifteen minutes later. They cuffed me. Read me my rights and dragged me to the precinct.

"I have no idea where Meredith is. I have no idea how she is or what she's doing. For all I know, she thinks I'm just not calling her back. Knowing Ellis, she didn't explain anything and Meredith is probably just waiting beside the phone. I just want her to be safe. Safe and knowing that I'm thinking about her."

Nancy reaches out to me. I embrace the kind gesture. "I'll be okay."

I shake my head. "I don't know how it can be."

Two Days Ago

Meredith kissing my jaw wakes me from a deep slumber.

It's the middle of the night. I draw her against my side. She smiles against my skin.

"Derek?"

"Hmm?"

"I've never been happier."

I gaze at her. The streetlights cast a glow along her skin. "I've never been happier, either. I'm glad I saved you that day," I whisper.

She rests her hand over my heart. "And in turn, I'm glad I saved you."

And she did save me. She keeps saving me.