A/N: Sorry guys, holidays. Lost the urge to write, so sorry! Also a stolen idea from a particular show so…..

Also smut so beware and I don't like the ending so wahhh

Chapter 7

"Keep me safe in your world"

It was Quinn's third month as an intern and it was the day that Sam was getting out of hospital. Although she wasn't allowed to be there for that and take him home because of two reasons.

1. His mother was like a hawk and managed to always be right there when Quinn wanted to see him and

2. There was this huge conference thing for the whole hospital and no one knew what is was about.

Rachel and Quinn arrived there after scrubbing in on an appendectomy and found seats that weren't up the back but were far away enough that they could hear without having to be seen. Quinn actually enjoyed Rachel's company and she thought that Rachel thought the same.

Rachel was sort of… the opposite of Santana.

Bit needy, always commenting on something that you did and managed to always get you annoyed, but still all the same she felt that Rachel was a friend. Well sometimes all Rachel did was stare at her like she was going to explode or something, which she was doing it right now.

"What?" Quinn muttered, closing the journal article she was reading before looking over at her. Rachel had these sort of judgy brown eyes that were easy to spot as well. She was wearing them the day Puck had kissed her in the on call room and Rachel saw them exit. She happened to be wearing them now.

Oh god was she thinking about that?

"Nothing." Rachel said in a very, very high-pitched voice. Quinn rolled her eyes but before she could say anything Santana sat down with Puck beside her. Quinn shivered at his presence.

"So what is this?" Santana murmured with an obvious obstruction of food in her mouth. Quinn frowned and turned to look over at her. Santana had a packet of pretzels, chips and a can of coke in her lap.

"You brought snacks?" Quinn said and Santana looked over at her, an eyebrow raised.

"What? My last patient kept me from eating today." Munch. "Stupid old crocker lady who couldn't stop laughing." Santana murmured, looking over at a confused Quinn. "Turns out she just had gas that was going the wrong way." Quinn just nodded, a little mystified and snatched the packet of chips and opened it, feeling hungry herself.

She had spent the most of her day staking out Sam's room waiting for his mother to leave so she could talk to him, but nope. That woman never left! God she just had to be Felicity Evans.

"You know there's a sign on the door that says no food." Rachel said matter of factly, making Quinn roll her eyes as she watched attendings take seats down by the front row. They looked like a band by how good they looked.

"Yeah there's a sign for no sex in on call rooms but I guess you know all about that. Right, Berry?" Santana retorted and Quinn almost choked. Rachel Berry, of all people, was breaking the rules? Who the hell was she sleeping with? Quinn swallowed and looked over at Rachel, her cheeks turning a bright shade of red. Quinn started to laugh.

"Oh my god." Quinn said as she tried to breathe, her hand flying to her chest as she continued to laugh. She felt Santana smirking from ear to ear beside her.

"You-what-how-ugh!" Rachel spluttered out, making Quinn laugh some more, but before she could completely stop she heard her voice. The voice she had been hearing for the past week and the voice she didn't really want to hear.

Her head snapped up and Felicity Evans was standing up on the stage of the large auditorium and Quinn swallowed.

What was she doing?

Then people started to clap and turn, making Quinn turn. Walking down the side was Sam, his signature smile on his face and his whole arm in a sling.

What the hell was going on?

She wanted him to find her in the crowd, to let her know that he had acknowledged her but as he walked up the steps to the stage his eyes were focused on his mothers who stood clapping.

Then the Chief stood up, the Board members by his side as he moved to the microphone beside Felicity. She felt her chest tighten.

Something… something was happening.

"Are you okay?" She felt Santana whisper and Quinn looked over at her. She didn't know why, but she felt something was terribly wrong. That her whole world was going to crash. Santana at the moment was concerned, something that she never really showed before, but Quinn couldn't look at her. She couldn't feel like this. She turned to look back at Sam, all smiley, all picture perfection but there was something.

"Dr. Sam Evans has been an amazing contribution to our team over the years and we are so happy to hear of the appointment of the Eric Dawson Grant." Quinn froze. Sam won a Grant?

That was good, so amazing, so why did she still feel like this?

"The Eric Dawson Grant is a privilege. It allows the recipient to travel to countries like Africa, Cambodia and Afghanistan to provide children with unlimited funds. It's something that no one-" Quinn felt herself zoning out after allows the recipient to travel to countries. Sam was… was he leaving? She tried to inhale, but she felt something constrict in her chest. She didn't even get a chance.

She hadn't had a chance to even be with her and now he was leaving her?

He got shot. She saved him and now he's leaving to save children in other countries. What about her? She felt incredibly selfish but this was Sam they were talking about. No one just leaves Sam if they can; he's that type of guy.

She felt someone grip her hand and found Santana holding onto it tightly, probably seeing how much Quinn was shaking. Quinn couldn't believe she was reacting this way. She never reacted to anyone or anything like this before.

Quinn never truly thought that her life would revolve someone else, but she had spent so much time and effort in Sam that now she felt empty. That he was just going to trample on her. Use her. Quinn had spent so much time before him believing that she didn't need anyone, but over the short time that they spent together he crushed that. He got rid of that she found herself falling for him.

Falling in love with him.

Then it was Sam's turn to speak. He had this grin plastered on his face… like he actually wanted it. Like he wanted to go. In a split second Quinn thought that after this Sam would ask her to come join him, but she couldn't. She was a three-month-old intern! She didn't know anything compared to his big grant and shot up arm.

Quinn let go of Santana's hand, letting the chips fall off her lap and onto the floor as she fled the auditorium. She could hear people murmuring behind her as she did, they all knew who she was but she couldn't stand to be in there another second. Everything was going fine. Until this.

"Quinn!" It was Santana but she couldn't bear to see anyone, let alone her at this moment. She was the only person, only person, that she trusted besides Sam and she couldn't bear to see someone happy.

She found herself in the baby's ward, looking down at all the squirming recently born babies. How did she go from that to this insecure girl that loved Sam? I love him. Quinn thought to herself, her heart starting to slowly break at the thought of him leaving her. Again.

She felt someone approach her but she didn't turn, her eyes focused solely on the newborn baby in front of her. She felt the same hand that took hers earlier take hers again, their fingers intertwining. Her eyes closed tightly as she felt a few tears fall down her cheeks, her chest constricting. She looked over and Santana just kept her eyes on hers, smiling sadly.

"He's leaving." Quinn whispered, her voice coming out small and weak.

"You need to talk to him." Santana murmured and Quinn looked away angry, pulling her hand away as she shoved them in the pockets of her scrubs.

"I don't think I want to."

"Surely you don't mean that."

"Santana. Not once did he mention this." Quinn murmured, feeling more angry than upset now. She looked over at Santana then who had moved to lean her back against the glass panel of the wall between the babies and them.

"You love him, don't you?" Santana said, her face sad. It was probably the first time she had seen her like this. She was either bitchy or happy, not the opposites.

"When that artery burst I thought I was going to lose him and I'd never have my shot. To have something with him." Quinn sighed, closing her eyes as she leant her head against the glass. They both fell quiet then, the only noise in the hallway was the faint beeping of a monitor somewhere in the building.

Quinn hated moments like these. She always used to love them, she always used it as a time to think, but now all the thoughts that filled her head were scary.

"Quinn? Santana?" Quinn looked up to find Rachel walking in, biting her lip as she kept her hands in the pocket of her doctor's coat. Quinn just looked back at the babies, her eyes focusing on one.

"What is it?" Santana said, her voice coming out as tired and defeated.

"Sam wants to see you." Rachel murmured and Quinn felt her presence beside her. Quinn put her hands over her face, trying to hide her emotions, trying to rid of all the feelings.

She didn't want to deal with this. If he just left it would be easier for her. Right then all three of their pagers went off, Quinn letting out a sigh. She didn't bother looking at it, knowing Rachel would repeat what was on it.

"Bus crash. Kids." Rachel said her voice low and Quinn swallowed, ridding her face of her tears before heading towards the E.R, Rachel and Santana in tow.

This was good.

She needed a distraction so that she didn't have to deal with Sam right now, although working with kids concerned her a bit. It might mean she would have to work with Sam.

When they got there, it was mayhem. Blood, kids crying and parents flooding the rooms. Finn Hudson, the neurosurgeon waved her over and thank god for it. Sam was hovering close by and it annoyed her when she felt his eyes on her. Quinn was assigned to a young boy called Walter. He had a pencil stuck in the back of his head.

"There are a lot of pretty doctors here." Walter said as Quinn worked on him. She chuckled and was glad that he had a good humour at a time like this. No one particularly did.

"Well there is only one handsome boy with a pencil stuck in his head." Quinn returned and she saw him smile. She stepped back and he had these beautiful blue eyes. Innocent eyes and for some horrible reason it reminded her of Sam.

"I'm gonna take you for a scan, that cool with you?" Quinn asked as he nodded, Quinn carefully helping him down so he could lie in a comfortable position.

"How we doing here?" She heard Sam's voice as she draped the blanket over Walter.

"Fine." Quinn murmured and moved to start pushing the bed towards the elevator.

"Quinn we need to talk."

"Can't you tell I'm a little busy?" Quinn muttered back when they reached the elevator, Quinn rapidly pushing the button as many times as she could. She heard Walter laugh and threw him a look.

"Meet me in an on call room. After you're done. Our on call room. I'll be waiting." Quinn looked up just in time to hear his last sentence. She hadn't seen him up close and out of bed in so long. He seemed taller, older and the small stubble growing over his cheek and chin made him extremely attractive. She found it very difficult to be mad at him.

"No promises." She murmured before pushing Walter into the elevator when it opened. She stood back against the back wall and looked back at Sam. His good hand in his pocket, his face showing a sad smile. She loved Sam, with the whole of her heart and she had no idea where he was. Where he was going, what he wanted. It scared her. He turned away then, walking off as the elevator started to slow close its doors.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Walter asked and Quinn rolled her eyes, looking down at him.

"No. He's my boss. Now stop eavesdropping." Quinn said and Walter just grinned at her.

"What else am I supposed to do?" He said, crossing his arms over his chest as he sat up a little in the bed. The elevator finally stopped and she pushed him through towards CAT scan machine.

"Pretend you heard none of that." Quinn murmured with a smile before stopping beside the bed.

"So that guy was your boyfriend? I don't like him, by the way."

"Oh is that so?" Quinn said with a smirk, helping him up as she maneuvered his IV drip to stand beside him as he was put into the machine.

"Yeah, I mean like. You know, a guy like me would be better." Quinn snorted, shaking her head as she moved to sit at the booth behind the screen. She leant into the microphone.

"Just lie still and we can talk about a date later." She heard him giggle and she leant back, feeling exhausted. Sam wanted to see her. She didn't really want to see him. He would have some explanation; some reason for going and it would cripple her.

Absolutely cripple her.

She could hear Walter humming in the machine, making her wonder how he had this much strength, this much confidence. He basically was hitting on her. Well, he was a kid maybe he was just playing around, but he had a pencil in his head for christ's sakes. If any other kid had a pencil in their face they would certainly not be behaving like this. She remembered a kid that poked himself with a fork and he cried for hours. Plus it wasn't even that deep.

She tried to think of what else Sam would say before the scans came up. She had to gasp at how horrible they were. She turned to the assistant beside her and told her to book an OR and get all the pediatric surgeons right away. This pencil was digging straight into his brain and he was bleeding profusely. She ran in and when he was starting to come out, he was having a seizure. She gripped him, doing all the necessary things and watched as this little boy fought for his life.

When it was over, the other surgeons had come into the room and started to help, pulling him onto a bed and started to rush him towards an OR. She watched him, blood slowly started to seep out of his ears. She had bonded with him, things that no one is meant to do as a doctor, but she truly liked him.

She felt a presence behind her and looked as she started to scrub in. Sam was standing there, his eyes concerned as he tried to say something. She turned away and went in.

Walter died thirty minutes into the operation. His brain was swelling too much, the blood couldn't be stopped and he was gone. The damage by the pencil had ruined all possibilities of a full life for him. This is why she hated working with kids sometimes. You don't get to see all of them have a life.

You don't get to see them live.

She found herself sitting in their on call room.

Where they had their first kiss.

Their first moment.

That moment where Sam said I feel something, but now this room just gave her sadness. Gave her thoughts of how she slept with him at his apartment. All that rubbish about how she's an intern and he's her boss. They had been through so much and now, now he's throwing it all away.

The door opened and she didn't look up, she had been crying and she really didn't care who it was at the moment, but she knew it was most likely Sam. She felt him sit down beside her and she turned to look up at him. He was looking at her, he looked like he had just been crying too.

"I don't want you to leave." She whispered, swallowing hard so that no more tears fell. "I don't want you to go."

"I-" Quinn shook her head and moved to sit on his lap, facing him as she ran his hands over her face. She needed him. She had missed him. She hadn't been able to touch him, to let him hold her since the accident.

"I love you." She whispered before leaning in to kiss him. They hadn't kissed since before his accident and she needed it so badly. She didn't care about anything at this exact moment except him. All she cared about what she needed to feel. She felt his good arm snake around her waist, his hand wandering under her shirt to her bra strap.

So he was thinking the exact same thing.

She pushed him so he was lying on his back, gently though so she didn't hurt his arm and started to unbuckle his jeans. She shoved them down, springing him free as she moved to run her hand over him. He was hard and hot in her hands. He groaned in response and his hand came flying up, trying to tug her scrubs off. She stepped off the bed, ridding of her clothes and locked the door, her eyes dark as she looked at him.

When she sat back down she pressed her heat to him, groaning at the feeling. She pushed his shirt up, kissing along her stomach as she ground onto him, teasing him. She felt his hand on her ass, gripping it roughly and she knew it was sign for her to stop teasing him. God she had definitely missed this. She moved over him, her hand on his chest as she looked at him. Green met blue and she wanted him.

She wanted him for forever and yet here they were.

Desperate.

She leant in to kiss him roughly, her body on fire as she started to slide him into her. She groaned at the feeling, coming up for air.

She was bigger than she remembered and she closed her eyes tightly, trying to get used to the feeling. God, she hadn't been this full in so long and she definitely missed him. She felt his lips on her neck, her collarbone and his hand was pinching her nipple. Fuck. When she slid all the way into him she felt so full she was pretty sure she was going to explode. She started to move and she heard him groan at the feeling, her hands gripping his shirt that they couldn't discard.

She threw her head back as she rocked her hips, with the feeling overwhelming her. She felt his hand on her thigh, moving to rest on her hip and she felt him thrust up into her. Then she started to crash. The feeling was too much and she opened her eyes to look down at him, to tell him she was almost there. His eyes were dark but he nodded slightly. His hand moved to the back of her neck and she felt him pull her down. The kiss was it. The hotness of the kiss absolutely drove her over the edge and she shuddered above him, coming hard as she moaned loudly. He was still moving until she felt him come, groaning at the feeling of him coming inside of her before she collapsed on top of him, her whole body shaking.

She had realised she was panting, her whole body trying to recover from the massive wave of pleasure. She wasn't sure then why she started to cry. The thought that this could end in a manner of weeks or even days started to hit her. She buried her face into his chest, trying not to let him see her.

"Quinn. It'll only be a year." Quinn sat up then, sliding him out of her with a moan before moving to grab her scrubs.

"Sam we didn't even get to start." She mumbled as she pulled on her things, watching him pull up his pants with a sad smile.

"We can start after." Quinn bit her lip and shook her head. He just didn't understand. He didn't. He didn't know how much she truly loved him and yet she still hadn't heard him mutter the words either. She looked up at him them. Trying to be mad with him, but staring into his blue eyes really didn't help. It ruined the thought of trying to be mad at him.

"I love you Sam, but… you don't love me. You don't love me enough to do that." She watched as he stood, moving to wipe the tears that were falling down her cheeks.

"I-" He started before he stopped, letting out a sigh before looking down. "You remember what I said to you, when I don't know, the afternoon I met you? After the surgery?"

"Always." Quinn murmured, her voice coming out soft and tired.

"How can you not see that I do? But I just can't say it yet." He said, his hand cupping her cheek. She looked away.

"Because you wouldn't leave." She murmured before stepping back, wiping her hand over the back of her cheek. "I have to go tell Walter's parents now."

"Quinn please." She shook her head and left the room, fighting the urge to cry again as she headed down the hallway. She knew that if she was in his position, it would be the same thing. She would go. It's what every surgeon has worked for their entire life so Quinn had no right to say that to him, but still, it would be nice to feel needed right?

When she walked out into the waiting room, she could see Walter's parents a mile away. His father looked exactly like him and the blue eyes that Walter had inherited were his mothers. Quinn swallowed hard and made her way over.

She had no idea what to say. She wanted to say how much she cared, how much she was sorry, but as she approached them she had no words. She sat down on the coffee table in front of them, asking them if they were Walter's parents before she let out a deep breath. She informed them of how he entered the E.R, the pencil and how he joked with the nurses and herself, but when she reached the moments about how they got to the surgery she knew that they knew.

Quinn cried later about it in the locker room, her whole body shaking as she tried to get over what had happened today and what would happen in the next few weeks. Santana found her and from there it really was a blur. Being put into Rachel's car. Driven somewhere. Stripped of her clothes and put into bed. That's all she could remember.

It was the third week after Sam had given the news he was leaving and Quinn had spent the time mostly working on charts, mostly finding ways to avoid a surgery because he had recently just started to get back into it. Which was stupid, Quinn thought. He was still weak, he was still shaky, but since he was leaving for Cambodia in the next few days he wanted to be as ready as possible.

They hadn't seen each other since that moment in the on call room and Quinn was pretty sure they were avoiding each other because they knew it would happen again. Quinn would get needy and Sam would get overwhelmed. There was no doubt about it.

She had been walking to early rounds when a wave of nausea passed through her. She hadn't felt nausea since she was drunk about a year ago and this wasn't like the usual, cough and sick throw up nausea. This was definitely different. She had to grip the counter for support before she toppled over, emptying her insides into the bin that was right beside it.

"Quinn?" It was Santana, her voice annoyed. "Girl, come on." She felt Santana tug her away but Quinn touched her forehead. She wasn't feverish. She swallowed and grabbed her phone, looking through the calendar.

Oh fuck.

She was late.

Of course she was late.

She looked up to see Sam walking her way before she had another wave of nausea rush through, luckily grabbing a nurse that had a bucket in her hands.

That wasn't from morning sickness. That was throwing up at the idea of morning sickness.

Reviews are always welcome!