CHAPTER 5

As the vines fell back into place behind him, Gamzee walked forward, stopping in the middle of the campsite, where a small group of trolls seemed to have congregated earlier, and were now minding their own shit. Grinning from ear to ear, He plops down on the ground in the middle of all the nonchalant action, lightly placing Jade's sleeping form next to him. He looks up at the surrounding trolls, most of which have paid him no heed whatsoever. A few though, mainly the females, have stopped their shenanigans, and were staring at Gamzee's new "toy."
The smallest of the few crawls over to Jade's sleeping form, wiggling her nose and tilting her head slightly off skew. She reaches out her hand to touch Jade's face, each of her nails filed to a sharp point. she lightly touches one of the scrapes on her face, flinching back slightly when jade twitches. She lifts her finger to her eyes, staring at the small drop of blood slowly running down the side of her finger. She frowns. She speaks, her voice light and airy, curious and soft. "Now this is something Nepeta has never seen before. She looks at it curiously, and decides that it would be a good question to show Terezi... Terezi... What is this?" She holds her hand up, showing it to another troll whose interest was piqued the moment Gamzee walked through the vines. . The troll smiles a wide, pointy toothed grin, and quickly stands, walking easily over to the waiting Nepeta. She bends down, licking the drop of blood off Nepeta's finger, her smile growing wider.
She licks her lips as she stands upright, her red tinted glasses making it hard for people to tell where she is looking. She stares at nothing in particular as she speaks, her voice much louder in comparison to the curious nepeta's. "This, my dear, is the signature candy flavored blood of a mutant. It seems our companion Gamzee has stumbled on a rare breed. Quite delicious, if I do say so myself. Much more sour than karkat's red blood. I will enjoy this quite a bit!" She bends down, getting closer to jade's face. She sniffs a few times, inhaling the new scent, letting it assail her nostrils. She smiled even wider, if that was even possible, and leans back, satisfied. Jade does not stir.
A third female, sitting a bit further back, stares at jade's unmoving body. "Damn. That little bitch won't wake up for anything. You fucking raped her personal space, and she didn't even give a shit..." She falls silent for a moment, and a grin comes across her face as well. "Oh, this is going to be fun." She stands up, slipping her hand into her pocket. As she steps closer to Jade, forcing Terezi out of the way, she pulls out a small marker, a glint appearing in every one of her eight pupils. She bends down, looking closely at jade's peaceful sleeping face. "What to draw... what to draw..." As she pops off the cap, slowly advancing on the innocent face of a sleeping Troll, a fourth voice chimes in, firm and threatening.
"Do not touch her face. There is much to be done, and I do not want you spoiling my new palate with your zit inducing ink dispenser." She looked up nonchalantly for a moment from her knitting to eye Vriska threateningly, pointing one needle at Vriska's head. "You can find other ways to pull pranks on her in other ways than destroying her perfect looking complexion before I even have a chance to experiment on it." Kanaya's eyes seem to glaze over as she fantasizes about her new model. "Oh the things I can do with that long black hair... and I bet her eyes are just as striking as her blood..." she looks down at jade with the lustful eyes of a fashion designer with new material. After a few more seconds of ogling, she returns her gaze to her knitting, humming quietly to herself. Vriska, who seconds before had been hovering over Jade's face with the marker in hand, retreated, glowering silently.
The fifth, and final person in the group of trolls, had not moved an inch since Gamzee had walked through the vines. He had only stared upward at the sleeping package in Gamzee's arms. Now, still unmoving from his sitting post against a tree, his legs sprawled out awkwardly in front of him, he finally mustered enough courage to speak.
"Uhh... Who..." He falls silent again, his face gaining a slight brown tint as the female trolls glance his way, Vriska with an especially venomous glare. He stares at his feet.
Although the question was never finished, Gamzee understood, and answered anyway. "Her name is Jade Harley. She's one weird ass motherfucker, if you ask me. Found her in the forest battling it out with a lusus. Saved her ass, and brought her here." He beamed, as if he were telling the story of how he had saved a stranded puppy from drowning in a random river.

The troll leaning against the tree couldn't help but smile back. He glanced down at Jade for a moment, blinking a few times as he stared at her eyelashes. They twitched a little, and she took a deep breath, her chest moving slightly. His face grew a little darker as his eyes pulled quickly away, staring back at his unmoving feet.

"She's.. uhh... Very pretty."
Vriska let out a snort, "Oh no Tavros! You're ALREADY falling redrom for this lime-blood? Jegus, if you get any more desperate, you're going to end up rivaling Eridan! And NO ONE wants that." She rolled her eyes, falling backwards onto the ground, staring at the treetops above them. Tavros frowned slightly, but couldn't make himself pass Vriska's remark as stupid. He looked back down at Jade's sleeping form, and pursed his lips slightly. Jade, as if feeling a disturbance in the Force, rolls onto her side, facing away from Tavros. Tavros lets out a dejected sigh, twidling his thumbs. Gamzee only smiles.
"Dude. You haven't even seen her awake, and you've been motherfucking rejected. Tough life, man. Tough life. But don't you worry!" Suddenly, Gam was right next to Tavros, his lightning speed causing each of the watching trolls to flinch. He threw his arm around Tavros's shoulder. "You've got me, bro! And we're two chill motherfuckers. As chill as mother fucking Faygo on Miracle Powder. I got your back, man." Tavros sagged slightly under Gamzee's weight, but couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.
"Thanks, man. You're the best."
Gamzee looked down at him for a second, his eyes getting a little worried. "Woah. Hold on Man. We're not moirails or anything like that shit. I just got your back. Don't get your horns in a knot."
Tavros laughed. "I know man. There's already someone shooting for that quadrant. I am not going to get in his way."
Gamzee tilted his head to the side a bit, questioning. "Someone's shooting for my motherfucking quadrant, and I didn't even know about it? Shit, man. I'm a clueless motherfucker. Who is it?" He stared at Tavros, his eyes wide. Tavros stared back at him, his own eyes filled with an expression that Gamzee could not put his finger on.
It seemed like it should come with a catchphrase... something like... something like...
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!"
Yeah. That should work. Vriska, one of the most oblivious quadrant players, had released this shout in an exasperated frenzy. Gamzee looked up to see that she had jumped up from her nonchalant lying position, and was staring down at Gamzee, sharing the same expression Tavros had. Gamzee only looked at her.
"What?"
Her jaw dropped open, and her hand slammed into her forehead. She dragged her hand down her face, staring up at the sky, exasperated. "You're more thick than those pies you eat on a daily basis! He's the only one that can put up with your clown-shit! How can you... AUGH!" She falls back, landing hard on the ground, a few inches from Jade.
Jade's eyes shoot open, and her mind reels for a few moments as memories shoot back into her head. After a few silent moments, her mind quits playing movie replays in her head, and she takes a deep breath.
"What's she talking about?" Gamzee asked, his voice emanating from somewhere behind Jade. She fell still, contemplating as to whether she should make her consciousness known or not.
Another voice speaks up from behind. "Oh you just never mind, Gamzee. You are obviously going to have to find out on your own some day. Probably when your think pan stops being so diluted with your sopor slime. Until then, just stop with your Moirail flirting. It upsets someone immensely." Kanaya, the voice of reason, after her tidbit of advice, looks back down to her knitting. "Oh. And one more thing. Party B is back."
Right after she spoke, the vines in front of Jade pulled back, and a troll walked through, his face bright red as he storms in. 3 more trolls silently follow him. "WHAT FUCKING HORSESHIT OF AN IDIOT LEFT A DYING LUSUS OUTSIDE OUR HIDING SPOT! JUST SEND A FUCKING BEACON TO THE WORLD! JEGUS!" He storms over to the group of trolls sprawled on the floor, towering over them menacingly. "WELL?" He accuses, staring at each troll individually. His eyes finally stop on Jade.
"Oh. Shit, man. Sorry. That was me. Forgot to pull that mother fucker in all the way... I'll get Bec in here now." Gamzee stands up, quickly slinking through the vines. The troll in front of Jade keeps staring. "And who in Jegus's name is this?" He scowled down at her, his nubs of horns barely visible.
Tavros speaks up, his quiet voice a nice comparison to the barrage of the new troll. "Try and be a bit more quiet, Karkat. She's sleeping."
Karkat stares down at Jade still. "Like shit she is. I can see her fucking eyes raping my face. Shit, woman. Look away or something before I kick that ogle off your face."
Jade stares up at him for a second more before his insult clicks in her mind. She sits up, pouting a bit. "Hey. that's not very nice. I wasn't ogling."
"Like hell you weren't! Then what were you looking at? Do I have lusus shit on my face or something?"
"No..."
"Then what were you looking at, troll? Spit it out!"
Jade blushes slightly, her cheeks growing a faint green. "Your horns..."
Karkat pauses for a moment, his mouth opening slightly. "My... Horns?"
"Yeah..." She stares at the ground. "They are just so small and cute... Sorry... I won't look anymore if you don't want me to..." Her face grows slightly sullen.
Karkat freezes up. "No, wait! That's not what I... Oh fuck this shit. You can do whatever the fuck you want." He quickly turns his attention away from her. "GAMZEE! YOU GOT THAT DEAD AS FUCK LUSUS IN HERE YET?"
"Huh?" Gamzee stares at Karkat from the corner of their hideout, Bec resting beside him. "Bec's been in here since you said Jegus. Calm your tits man, I got this shit down. Oh. And that's Jade. She's joining us."
Karkat looks at Gamzee, "You just do whatever the fuck you want, don't you? Why didn't you ask the fucking LEADER of this group before you went traipsing around these forests, picking up the first Damsel you find and bringing her back here?"
"Sorry dude. She's chill as Miracles though. I'm keeping her."
Karkat sighs. "what is she, your fucking toy?"
"Yes."
Karkat and Jade drop their jaws in perfect unison. "WHAT?"
Gamzee stares at them, as if he were just told that Sopor slime was not to be eaten. "What? I found her. She's mine."
"LIKE HELL SHE IS!" Karkat shouted.
"LIKE HELL I AM!" Jade screeched at the same time, forgetting for a moment about her broken ankle to stand up in frustration and anger. She quickly remembers though when she tumbles backward, landing hard on the ground. "... ow." Karkat lets out an annoyed sigh, throwing his hands up in the air.
"OH FUCK! WE'VE GOT ANOTHER LAME ONE IN OUR GROUP! Where did you find this Douche Muffin anyway! She can't even stand! We've got a female Tavros in the house now! FUCKING SHIT!" He throws himself on the ground, tossing his head back, and extending his arms in every direction, flailing like an exasperated ragdoll.
"Cod, Karkat. It's like you're reeling for attention. Don't worry. She's just injured. I can get her fixed up faster than a swordfish! And the Lusus too, if it's important..." The first troll to follow Karkat into their hideout walks over to jade, a friendly smile on her face. Jade smiles in return, but can't help but let her eyes wander to the sharp fins on either side of her face. She had never seen a sea dweller troll before. The troll had relatively normal sized horns, somewhere in between Gamzee's and Karkat's, bending outward slightly. She wore the regular Sign Shirt, but the skirt underneath was a light sea green, and it fell gracefully to her ankles. She knelt down in front of Jade, looking her up and down for a few moments. Her smile grew wider as she spoke, her voice sounding rather excited, "Eels and cuttlefish! You're really pretty! Your eyes! They are so bright! And your blood is so unique! I've only ever seen Karkat's red blood..." She began to wander off in her own thoughts, staring up at a random corner as she spewed words. "I wonder if mutants have a caste system within a caste system... I mean... We have 11 blood colors, ranging from Royal purple to peasant brown, but anything that doesn't fit into one of those 11 categories is considered Mutant. Until now, I thought it was just Karkat's red blood. But your blood is obviously mutant too." She looked at Jade for a moment, fascinated, her excitement growing even more. "It makes me wonder if, inside the mutant caste... if you guys have a caste... Well? Do you? Huh? Huh?" She had, in the last two sentences, gotten within inches of her face, her eyes boring into Jade's.
Jade averted her eyes awkwardly, blushing slightly. "Uhh... I've never met another Mutant before... so I wouldn't know..."

"Oh..." The sea troll deflated, retreating from Jade's face and slumping slightly. "That's okay."

"GOG CAN'T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND HEAL HER ALREADY?" Karkat jumped in, unable to hold in his impatience anymore. Jade looked up at him for a moment, tilting her head to the side. He looked at her, frowning. "What? I just want this shit ass shenanigans to end so we can get down to business! Shit..." He looked to Gamzee for a brief moment before throwing his hands in the air and walking away. Gamzee stared, confused.
Jade couldn't help but smile, finally understanding who Vriska was talking about when she said someone was shooting for Gamzee's Moirail section. The troll in front of her shared a knowing grin before averting her attention down to Jade's ankle.
"I'm Feferi, by the way. The Witch of Life. I'm going to heal you now with my Fishy Fishy Healing Powers, if that's okay with you!" She looked up, smiling wide. Jade smiled back.
"Okay then!" She sat up straight, trying to relax her leg as Feferi bent over it, tilting her head to the side a bit as she puzzles over Jade's ankle.
"Hmm... You really crashed this thing, didn't you? Don't you worry! I'll get this fixed up faster than you can glub!" She lightly placed her hand on Jade's ankle, Jade wincing slightly at the touch. Together, they sat there, frozen. Agonizing seconds passed as Jade stared at the hand resting lightly on her grey skin.
"MMMMMM! THERE! It should aaaall be fixed now! Glub Glub! Go ahead! Stand up! See if you're good for walking! You'll be surprised! Now I'm going to go fix that lusus in the corner..." She quickly whisked around, almost skipping to Bec happily. Jade, on the other hand, still sat there, staring at her ankle.
*Did she really do anything? I mean, yeah, the pain is gone, but it didn't like... pop or anything... there wasn't a glow.. or... ahh... Why can't mutants have cool blood powers too?* She pouted for a moment before deciding to try out her new leg.
She leans backward a bit, placing all of her weight on her back before swinging her whole body forward, and up onto her feet. She swings her hands out for balance, and smiles when she doesn't topple under a lame leg. She stands upright, brushing her pants and shirt off, turning to Gamzee. "Look Gamzee! I'm all fixed! I won't need you to carry me around anymore!" She smiled at him. He laughed, walking over to her.
"Well that's a motherfucking miracle!" He kept walking, getting closer and closer to her. He finally stopped a few inches from her face, towering over her. "But you see... I actually LIKE carrying you a bit..." With that, he scooped her up, swinging him over his shoulder, laughing maniacally as he ran circles around the hideout, Jade squealing behind him.
"Ack! Put me down! Gamzee! GAMZEE!" Her squeals quickly turned into giggles, and as she laughed, Gamzee lightly placed her down.
"So. Are we Moirails now?" He looked down at her, his eyes sparkling a bit.
Jade couldn't stop her giggles, but easily shook her head in denial. "No we're not. You've already got someone shooting for that quadrant. I don't want to get in the way of that person. I'm thinking that wouldn't be a good idea!"
Gamzee pouted for a few seconds before some sort of epiphany crossed his mind. "So... Does that mean... That you're shooting for a different quadrant?" He was inches from her face, so it was easy for her to see the look of teasing slyness cross his face.
"Now... Hold on a moment! I never said- WOAH!" She ducked just in time, narrowly avoiding his attempt at a sloppy smooch, twisting to the side to avoid his swinging arms as he attempted to wrap them around her waist. She twisted again, facing him, but a few feet away now. She pulled out her PaperKind Newspaper, and bopped him on the head. "No!"
He winced slightly when the paper hit him on the head, but otherwise stood unphased (except for the obvious dissapointed pout on his face). "Aww... But that always works..." He glanced over at Vriska, and then Tavros. "Well... ALMOST always works..." Tavros blushed as Vriska stuck her tongue out at Gamzee.

Jade stared for a few moments before her jaw dropped open. "Wait... do you mean... Tavros kissed Vriska? But he doesn't seem to be that kind of troll! I can't even imagine that! Tavros!" She looked at him, smiling widely. "You go guy!"

The whole of the hideout fell silent. Jade's smile twisted into a confused expression. "What?"

They only stared.

"What?"

Vriska, Terezi, Nepeta, Gamzee, and Feferi simultaneously fell backwards, bursting into full belly laughter as Tavros turned the oddest shade of mud brown Jade had ever seen. She blinked a few times, her own face growing slightly green out of embarrassment. "Was it something I said?"

Suddenly, she felt a light hand on her shoulder. "Yeah. Ith thumthing you thaid. Tavroth would never do anything like that. It wath Vrithka who kithed Tavroth. Not the other way around. They are jutht laughing at the thought of Tavroth making a move. He doethn't do that." She turned to face the troll who had his hand on her shoulder. He, like every other troll here it seemed, was much taller than her, but he had two horns on either side of his head, and was wearing a nifty pair of red and blue glathes... err... glasses. He stared down at her, his crooked fangs hanging over his lips. "I'm Thollukth. Thorry for the lithp. You get uthed to it."

Jade couldn't help but smile at him. "No! I like it! It's pretty cute! Gives you character!"

"Well Thank you." A small smile touched his lips.

"Hey now! You better stay the glub away from my Sollux's heart! He's my Matesprit! Right, Sollux?" Feferi suddenly appeared next to Jade, smiling down at her happily, but with a slight possessive hinting in her eyes. Jade lifted her hands defensively.

"Don't worry. I was just trying to be friendly! Nothing redrom going on!"

"Oh good! I've got enough competition already..." She glanced at the final person who had walked in with Karkat. Jade followed Feferi's line of sight, and gasped. A pair of red eyes stare back at her, boring into her soul. She flinches as the robot turns its body to face Feferi. Feferi glares back, Sollux stuck in the middle like a deer in headlights.

The robot stared at Feferi for a few more moment before speaking, the voice monotonous. "I don't know what you're talking about. Sollux and I have been apart for a while now. I am not going to steal your matesprit from you."

Feferi only glared. Jade, feeling uncomfortable, quickly steps in-between them. "So! Uhh... is this where all you guys live? A few miles from my house?"

Gamzee appeared next to Jade, causing Jade to retreat a few feet. He stared at her for a second, and quickly closed the gap between them, swinging his arm around her shoulder. "Nope! This is just where we're staying right now. Once Eq and Er come, we're getting the motherfuck outta here!" Jade glared up at Gamzee for a moment, but soon gave up, trying to ignore the arm around her shoulder, and the tingling warmth it brought.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

It fell silent for a few moments after the conversation petered out. Karkat had returned a few moments before, and joined the circle of trolls, blabbing on and on about how terrible this area was. Aradia joined the circle, followed by Feferi and Sollux. Jade quickly followed behind, Gamzee still hanging over her shoulder. She sat down at the edge, still slightly awkward surrounded by unknown trolls.
"And the smell around this place is fucking terrible! Makes me want to puke! I can't believe how terrible it smells! It's like someone is hoarding fucking BUCKETS in this shit ass forest. I swear, before we leave this place, I'm finding those fucking buckets, and killing the hoarder of them! What kind of twisted bastard would keep those things anyway? GOG!"
Jade blushed madly, her whole face growing bright green. Gamzee let out a slight laugh. "Hey man. Cool your tits. Those buckets are Jade's. I fell in that shit too..."
"WHAAAAAAATT?"
Jade felt like she could die.