A.N: Damn bolding thing was just wiggin out... (sigh) 1st world problems... .
Anyway, Thanks for the reviews guyz! Ya'll are awesome!
To Soul X Maka Forever: Sorry for the small chap! I'll try to make this one longer! I promise X.X
to YAYfanfics101: Yeah the JadeXGamzee thing? I kinda rolled some dice on that one... but when I started writing, I was like: Ohhh yeah!
To Drackial: (Dang your username is hard to remember...) Buckets and Creepy kisses are how I roll ;P and if you want to see how the story ends up, you'll have to keep reading XD (But I'll give some hints... i'm still figuring out all the kinks, but lets just say that Jade has the nasty tendency of ruining everything... no matter if it is in the REAL homestuck, or if it is just in any AU)
Disclaimer: I don't know why we need to do this. It's FAN fiction... meaning... Shouldn't people already know that we don't own this stuff? I mean... you friggin CHOSE the thing you want to write about... Whatevs. I own jack shit.
This chap is dedicated to Inuyashagirl312! Your reviews make me smile XD
Jade wasn't quite sure if her face was green because of the purple blooded trolls arms draped over her shoulders, or if it was the horror that struck her to her inner most core at the words 'mother fuckin game.'
How did he know about the game? I barely know the game... I only know the moons. He shouldn't even know it exists, let alone what it is... Who is this troll? She blinked a few times and turned her head to the left slightly to see his face lingering a few inches from hers. His head sagged for a few moments on her shoulder before he flopped it in her direction, staring into her eyes. He stared at her for a few moments, and then winked, a goofy smile spreading across his face. She couldn't stop her mouth from opening slightly in shock, nor her face from growing a darker shade of green because of... achem~... proximity.
"Okay stop it with the fucking googley eyes, and tell me what the fuck you are talking about with this 'game' shit." Karkat tapped his foot impatiently. "I know I'm a fucking romcom freak, but come on! We've got shit to get done!"
"Irons in the fire!"
"Shut up Vriska. Anyway, I'd like you to explain what you know about this... game fuckery in full detail." He turned his attention back to the clown, who was now attempting to get a smooch from Jade as she, in turn, attempted to wriggle free from his hanging grasp. "OH MY FUCKING GOD! GAMZEE!"
Gamzee looked up. "What, motherfucker?" He grinned. Karkat frowned even deeper than before, the anger lines doubling over each other on his forehead as he stared Gamzee down.
"THAT IS NOT HOW YOU ROMANCE A FUTURE MATESPRIT! HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO FUCKING ANYTHING I'VE BEEN TEACHING YOU? JEGUS FUCK YOU'RE A HOPELESS FUCKASS!"
"Dude. Calm your tits, bro. Just tryin to up and get me a smooch." He turned back to the woman in his arms, his goofy smile puckering into a kissey face. Jade, in a sudden panic, pushed off his chest and sprawled backward. Unfortunately, Gamzee's grip was much stronger than she expected, and she ended up dragging both of them to the ground, splashing in the mud and guts, him on top of her. He was smiling again, his eyes hinting slightly to his sober side as he slammed his hands onto either side of her face, staring her down. "I'm gonna motherFUCKING KISS you now."
"Oh SHIT! Someone get a pie!" Jade heard someone screech from the background, but was too busy scrambling for a way to get out of what was about to happen. The clown in front of him was scaring her shitless, and she did not want to be kissed by someone who had such bloodlust in his eyes. Her own eyes darted from side to side till she saw her escape. Quickly, she reached to the side, and grabbed an object, ignoring the outbreak of fish puns that followed her "Thievery."
Gamzee waited no longer, lunging forward. Just in time, Jade pulled the object in front of her face, cowering behind the mass of blood and hair as Gamzee smooched Feferi's disembodied head, closing his eyes passionately, and entangling his own fingers in her mane.
"Oh COD! I just fishneshed putting her back together! Noww she has clowwn slobber all ovver her fuckin face!" Eridan swore loudly, glaring at Jade, his eyes screaming 'Howw could you?' she couldn't help but snicker when she put the extra 'w' in her mind's eye... err... ear. Gamzee stopped the loving snog, pulling away from Fef's face.
"Now just wait a motherfucking second... THESE LIPS TASTE LIKE MOTHER FUCKING FISH SHIT! What is this, Jade?" He moved Feferi's head to the side, staring into Jade's face with anger and craziness written all over his features. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU UP AND PULL THIS FUCKTASTIC MOTHER SHIT?" He swallowed, the corner of his lip twitching slightly. "Hmm? Jade? care to explain?" His hands were still on either side of her face, and he leaned in closer, blinking once. She shied back, never losing eye-contact, but still feeling paralyzed in fear.
"Uhh..."
"HEY FUCKASS!"
Gamzee's eyes flickered for just a moment before his head shot to the left. Karkat hovered over him, holding a tin in his hand.
"MERRY FUCKING TWELF PEDIGREE!" He slammed the tin into his face, sopor slime pie splattering in all directions, including Jade's face. She spluttered and coughed for a few moments, and looked up at Gamzee, who seemed to have calmed down, and was currently climbing off of his postion on top of her, licking the slime off of his face.
"Hey thanks bro. Didn't up and know it was that time of sweep again... shit. I didn't up and get you anything, bro. Mother fucking sorry, man." He apologized with a huge grin on his face as he moved his finger to his face to swipe slime off of places that his tongue could not reach, popping his finger into his mouth after every swipe. She sat up herself, letting out a sigh of relief, and looking up at Karkat to voice her thanks. When she looked up at him, their gazes met, and he nodded his head slightly, as if to say 'don't say anything, I don't want to hear your annoying ass voice. you're welcome anyway. This shit happens all the time. Come to me if it ever happens again.'
Damn! He can get a lot of words into one look...
The extremely verbose expression on his face quickly dissapeared, though, when she decided that the slime on her own face was rather uncomfortable as it slid down her skin, and the easiest way to remove it would be to follow in Gamzee's footsteps.
"NO FUCK SHIT DON'T- ahh fuck she already did."
"WOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Jade's eyes dilated almost immediately, and she smiled widely, deciding that she didn't give a flying fuck about anything that happened now. She was mother fucking... flying... sister.
Karkat rolled his eyes, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation. "Well fuck. Now we're gonna get jack shit done, we're gonna be so busy babysitting this slimed fuckass."
"All's cool bro." Jade shot Karkat a thumbs up. "Ya'll can just leave me here. I'm chill with up and starin at the pink." she lolled her head to the side, flopping back into the mud (made by combining dirt and blood).
"No we're not just 'up and leaving you here!' FUCK!" He began pacing from side to side, both Gamzee and Jade following his movement with their heads, goofy smiles plastered to their faces. Karkat glanced down at them for a moment, then turned his sights mainly on Gamzee.
"Well?"
"Huh?"
"Are we ever going to get back to you explaining what the FUCK this game shit is?"
"Oh..."
"Yeah. Oh." Karkat glowered.
"Bitch tits man. I'll up and explain all this shit! Hellz yeah! I'll be explaining like-"
"Dont turn into Dave." Eridan cut in, getting glares from both Karkat and Dave. He lifted his shoulders for a moment before dropping them, and continuing his task of re-cleaning Feferi's 'violated' face (according to him).
After a few moments of extreme sexual tension between these different trolls, lingering mainly in the Kismesis quadrant, Gamzee finally broke the silence by jumping into the longest and most easily understood description of Sgrub. The trolls who were listening [except for Jade, who had discovered that her sylladex was EXTREMELY entertaining, and there was a bunch of dancing fruit inside in which she had never really taken much of an interest in (But now were mother fucking miraculous)] were consequently enamored by his sudden (and rather unfitting) burst of intelligence, none of them knowing that somehow, probably through the laziness of the author (who really sees no purpose in explaining something that every mspaint reader who has gotten past act 2, gotten really confused, and gone to said site should know), and that he got a hold of a link to MsPaint Wiki. For the next hour and a half, (as Jade, in a rather giggly mood poked her fruit, and started singing things such as "fruity Tooty") Gamzee explained to the listening trolls the ins and outs of Sgrub, telling them all they needed to know (and more) before prototyping their first sprite. In a very lazy nutshell, he showed them the walkthrough.
Jade was not listening.
Due to...
Prior engagements.
"Hehe hehe hehe hehe hehe! Their smiley faces are all funny!"
A.N. Normally, here is where I would end the update. But I promised a longer update, so this is part 2!
"So we
"So we
AN: GOD DAMNIT, DOC SCRATCH, STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH MY BOLD FACE.
"So we prototype a frog and a paperclip, fuck the hell out of Gate 1, and then get the next troll in the Incipripcate by sundown?"
"Incipisphere."
"Shut the hell up, you dual brain wielding fuckasses."
"Okay." Rose and Kanaya lifted their hands in the air at the same time, smiling slightly at Karkat's bulls eye at their personality. Kanaya put her hands down, and continued her spiel. "But I believe we can comission whatever we fancy for the second prototype after we enter the medium. As the Miracle driven Juggalo so clearly stated, only pre-entry prototypes increase the vim and durability of the imps. For all the game cares, we could prototype the disembodied and reconstructed apex of Feferi's constitution, and re-animate her."
"Agreed." Rose pitched in quietly, smiling slightly. "But you see, I don't see the purpose of that since the predicament with Gamzee and his unintentional snogging of her head. As he explained, her dersite self should have taken over her soul the moment their lips made contact."
"Still up and tasted like mother fucking fish."
"Silence. We are thinking."
"Can mother fucking do!"
"These fruit need to sing."
"You too, Jade."
"aww! Why, I don't wanna!"
"So, as I was saying, I thi-"
"Wwait! Does fish mean that fef is alivve?"
"Fruit!"
"Yes, so as I was-"
"Hold on! Tho if we join the game, I'll thee FF again?"
"FRUITY FRUIT!"
"Quite possibly. As I was sayi-"
"Yeah but I'll get to sea her first. Rails before pails!"
"FRUIT IN PAILS!"
"How can you even thay that when you want to fill pailth with her too? You're thutch a troll who-"
"OH MY FUCKING GOG! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THE SMART PEOPLE TALK FOR MORE THAN 2 FUCKING SECONDS! WE'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT SHIT TO DEAL WITH THAN PAILS!"
"Actually, if we are to restart our world, pails will be relatively import-" Kanaya stopped talking when Karkat shot her a death glare. She quickly returned to the topic at hand. "On to entering the game. Since the game will start off easy, and grow exponentially in difficulty after each prototype, I think we should send in-"
"FRUIT!" Jade very intelligently interjected, her attention still completely on the jiggling jumping smiling fruits in front of her. Gamzee turned his head from staring up at Kanaya, to down to Jade. She was laying on her stomach, happily poking and prodding the squirming fruit as she quietly hummed to herself in her sopor induced mindset. He grinned childishly, and flopped on his back, rolling toward her with a large grin on his face. As he was growing closer, he bumped into something.
"Mother fuckin oof!" He looked up to see a pair of dark shades as Dave looked down at him for a few seconds, standing in between him, and his flush crush. He looked down at him for half a second, expressionless, and then spoke.
"I got this." He bent down, grabbing Jade around the waist, and flipping him onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck, and using one of his hands to support her weight. She wrapped her legs around him, giggling slightly at the fact that this was her first piggy back ride on a troll rather than Bec. "Kay. Jade, we're going to go for a walk."
"REALLY :O"
"Yup. Really. We're gonna walk till all that green shit is outta your system, spitting out ironic rhymes and just chilling like the cool-ass fuckers we are."
"Can we bring my fruit?"
"Sure." Dave captchalogged the fruit. "You ready?"
"Yeah :D! 3"
"Right. Here we go." He glanced one more time down at Gamzee before walking slowly away. "You guys get all the shit straightened out. I'll get her outta here for a bit."
"Thank you." Kanaya gave Dave a kind smile. He nodded curtly, and took his slow walk into a moderate jog, Jade giggling wildly as she bobbed up and down on his back.
Gamzee frowned. "Mother fucker... Now I'm all up and upset. Harshes my mood, bro."
"Okay... So as I was saying, again," Kanaya started up her previous sentence, ignoring Gamzee as he rolled on the floor, hugging a very creepy looking doll.
"We need to send the weakest troll into the game first."