A/N: Wow! I'm very impressed and happy about all of the reviewers I recognize from long long before. Thank you very much loves. I hope you all like the direction it will go in from here on in. It gets a bit complicated in this chapter but it is nice and long, so enjoy!

Now READ.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter :(

LILY THE MAN-ANIZER

Lily's POV:

Blah blah bloody blah. This humdrum life was turning me into a hermit. Point being I got too upset or distracted every time I saw Potter (Yes, Potter and not James. I'm the old me. Well, the new me. The new old me! Denial!) I felt depressed. So to the library I went. Doing homework, working out plans for the holiday festivities…crying.

What? Who said that?

So I stayed,

And practically LIVED.

So…no more Potter.

Don't even get me started on Harold.

I'd already screwed that one up.

Well, gosh. I'd successfully screwed myself out of two very lovely lads in one night. Go me! Anyway, onwards and upwards I guess.

Not to mention my friends had noticed my new, er, habits:

"Lily." Drew spoke loudly.

I looked up, annoyed. "Do you not realize we are in the library?" I whispered up at her.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "I don't give two shiny shites where we are, you are coming with me."

My mouth dropped. She cant disrespect the library like that! I will not stand for this. I will not allow her to ruin my company and solitude. These books were my REAL friends anyway.

God I sound pathetic.

"And where, pray tell," I rested my heavy head on my palm, "are we going?"

"You'll see." She wrenched my arm up and dragged me (literally) away from the wooden table where I had been sitting for ten minutes. Okay maybe four hours. "I've had enough of you living your life in the library and shutting yourself up in the room. You need to get out."

Honestly!

"I've been out!" I cried indignantly, earning me a glare from the librarian. No! My only friend!

"Lily, it's a Friday night and you are sitting in the dark, hunched over a book more than fourteen times your age." Drew spoke as she walked quickly, still dragging me behind her. She wasn't even turning back to talk to me.

"Okay, okay." I struggled to keep up, slapping at her hand (claw, rather) all the way. "But what is the rush? Do we really need to be walking this quickly?"

She just kept power walking. "You'll see."

We trudged through the portrait hole and I tripped over the entrance and almost DIED but Drew's body was in the way luckily. Only around TEN in our year saw too.

My image is just rising and rising.

Up the stairs and through our door she pushed me down onto a chair and screeched, "Faye Seph, Alice, Natalie, she's here!"

"Ugh, finally!" Alice Jones wandered in from the bathroom completely decked out. I mean completely. She had on a skintight black dress with matching boots on. Her winter cloak was hanging on her shoulders loosely and she had makeup on and pristine hair.

"Well you look nice, Alice, where are you—" I stared in horror. Every girl was completely made up. No. No, no, no. They weren't expecting me to…

"Yes, well now it's your turn!" Natalie came over, hair shining. I want shiny hair!

Were they kidding? I could never look like that, EVER. I'm not the make up type. I wear chapstick to formal events.

"No, I cant." I said meekly as they turned me around and started doing all these things to my face. "What is THAT?" I asked Drew as some metal thing came at my face.

"An eyelash curler, now shut up and do as we say." She and the other two girls attacked me and I sat back and took it. I had no energy to fight back. Too much physical strain from…er…sitting at that table…

Shut up.

Okay maybe I needed this.

"There is a party in Hogsmeade tonight." Faye said from the wall she was leaning against. She looked gorgeous too, though she was all against makeup because she was "Zen" and "natural", but tonight she had a bit on. And she worked it.

Persephone on the other hand was pouting against the wall with Faye. I could tell she felt uncomfortable in a dress and didn't like her make up. She was as tomboyish as they could get. A couple of times I saw her (through all of the arms and hands coming at my face) trying to slip on a pair of jeans, but Drew would shout at her and then she would shy away.

"Yeah but you wouldn't have known it if it slapped you in the face." Drew said absently.

"Why not?"

"Because you should be paying rent to the library nowadays." Alice quipped with a smile.

"Alright, alright. I get it." I rolled my eyes. "Ow."

"Sorry, almost done." Natalie breathed.

"There." Drew leaned back with a satisfied smile.

I stood and looked at myself in the mirror. "Whoa."

Alright, I had to admit—I looked pretty good. No, DAMN good. I smiled and thanked each girl for their input. They knew not to mess with me fashion-wise. I knew where to go in that department, I just really hated spending time on make up and hair in the mornings when I could be daydreaming about P—

Never mind.

Faye pulled out a short satin champagne-colored dress that had an empire waist. "Try this."

"You're joking." I laughed nervously. My legs and a short dress? No. I would laughed out of the party. I would be ridiculed. I would be—

"Just put it on!" Drew screeched.

Sulking, I slipped it on quickly to save myself (and everyone else for that matter) from a Drew shriek attack.

"No more of you sulking around because Potters an idiot." Drew announced.

"Drew!"

"What?" She looked at me.

Seriously?

"Oh!" She smiled. "Don't worry, they all know."

Bitch.

"Oh sod it, Lily." Natalie said to her reflection in the mirror while she dabbed at her eyelashes with some sponge-y thing. "It really was obvious, you know half the people in our year—"

"Alright then, ALRIGHT." I snapped. Then I regained control. "Lets go get pissed."

All six of us wandered down the stairs reapplying lippy and glosses, exchanging compliments, etc. You know, girl pish posh.

Oh, did I tell you it is at a run down old pub where they serve minors? Well it is.

My lucky day.

This night had better be fun and NOT turn out like the last drunken extravaganza I'd had.

A shudder went through my entire body at the thought.

Sirius's POV

I wonder if Drew will be there.

I mean—Right bitch. I hope she burns.

"James, for the last time, are you done examining each pore in your entire face?"

He turned round to face me. "For your information, I was looking for…er—Shut up." He said indignantly.

Remus pulled his cloak on and rolled his eyes at me. James had flipped out when he heard Drew in the common room talking to some other birds about how they needed to drag Lily away from her books and to the party at the pub and he had been at the mirror ever since.

That was four hours ago.

Lily's POV

The pub was rather cleaned up tonight (unlike normal nights where it was smelly, smoky, and filled with strange wizards that liked to hit on teenage girls an eighth their age). It was well lit, with Christmas decorations everywhere, and the walls were shining a pretty gold color. Not half bad.

I went straight to the bar (great decision) and ordered a glass of Champagne.

Didn't think I was classy enough for that, eh?

Well you can stuff it!

I decided to take it easy on the first round and scope out the scene and people before I went crazy like my mates, who were currently doing firewhiskey shots. Even Faye!

Hey, Seph managed to sneak a pair of jeans on, how nice for her.

I laughed at Drew's disgusted face and turned around and rested my elbows on the bar, talking to Seph.

Then I saw him walk in. Looking perfect in every way.

Do I even need to say his name?

Could my life get any worse?

Yes, alright, thank you, enough. ENOUGH WITH THE STARING.

All of my mates (I mean ALL of them) were giving me winky eyes and batting eyelashes, but they just looked like pink-faced loons from the firewhiskey.

Thank the Gods I decided against the firewhiskey.

For now…

Anyway, I just calmly ignored them. Well it was quite hard to do when Drew slapped back a third shot and put her hand on her hips and stared at me expectantly.

"I'm not looking at you, drunky." I kept my gaze on my glass.

"Well?" She asked.

"Well, what?" I sipped my champagne.

She rolled her eyes and moved a little closer. "In all seriousness, Lily." She spoke quietly. "Nothing?"

"Drew," I faced her with genuine seriousness. "He doesn't fancy me any more, trust me."

She gave me a look.

"Honestly, look," I moved my head in his direction towards the corner, "He's chatting up some blonde."

Whoa, not ready to see that just yet. Oh wait, it's ALL I had been seeing the last two weeks.

She sighed and turned to me. "You're right."

Damn!

I nodded with a sarcastic smile and felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around.

"Remus!" I gave him a large hug and over his shoulder saw James—I mean, Potter look up at us. We made eye contact and I pulled away to talk to Remus.

Stupid Pratboy.

"Guess who just saw us hug?" I smiled sweetly up at him.

"Oh I don't know. Kevin?" He mused. Yeah, I let him in on the code name. He caught on well.

"Of course!" I downed the rest of my champagne. This was going to be a long night. "Anyway I don't want to spend the whole night talking about him and moping. I want to have fun, that is why I came here. Or rather, was dragged here."

"Well, Lily you look very pretty." He said. "Just wanted to say hi, don't want Kevin to rip my head off."

I smiled appreciatively. "Thank you, Remus you look good yourself. See you later."

He turned and went round to a couple of people and then disappeared.

Now where were those firewhiskey shots? I mean, where were my friends and those firewhiskey shots?

James POV

"Traitor."

"What?" Amelia looked up at me with big brown eyes.

"Sorry, nothing darling."

"Anyway, I was saying its really nice to get to know you outside of class." She twirled a ringlet around her finger.

"Mmhmm." Now she's taking shots! Seriously? After last time?

"Yeah, I think I've really…"

Tuned her out to watch Lily. That was a very nice dress. I wonder what it would look like on the floor. I mean on the bed. I mean—damn.

I looked back down at Amelia twirling and talking away while she sipped on her white wine spritzer.

Honestly. A spritzer.

Lily's POV

Alright, two shots in and he is still chatting up that blonde. It is about time for me to grab a guy and start dancing.

I followed Drew and Natalie to the loo and we had a touch up inside and gossiped like all god-natured teenaged girls do.

"Did you see Catherine's dress?" Natalie dabbed some mascara onto her lashes.

Drew made a face. "Yeah, I don't think she brought enough breasts for the rest of the class." And then burst out laughing.

Note to self: Don't drink as much as Drew, ever.

Natalie was laughing so hard she missed her eye and got a huge splotch of black on her cheek.

Now I was laughing.

New note to self: Don't drink as much as Natalie either.

I just examined my hair in the mirror and dragged the both of them back out into the life and ordered myself another glass of champagne. The music was getting louder and louder by the hour and people had to shout over it to speak. And I fancied myself a fag, soo outside it is.

I dragged Drew with me to smoke and she tottered around on her heels with the unlit fag in her hand. She was taking puffs (or rather thought she was) and rambling on about how much she hated Sirius.

I eyed her for a minute and then asked the inevitable, "Do you fancy him?"

Any tottering stopped at that moment and I jumped out of the way as she LUNGED at me with her big red claws.

Not to self 3: Never piss off Drew when she is drunk

Once I got her to calm down, she made me promise to never to mention or think that again.

Like that was going to happen.

I know her little secrets. But to avoid claws, I will just have to keep it to myself for now.

"Lily, you know what you need?" She slurred at me.

"No, but I know what you need, and that is a tic tac."

She ignored me and kept talking. Rather, drunkenly rambling.

But she did make one point, "You need to be a man-anizer."

"A what?"

"Like a womanizer but for women." She slurred and tottered. "To do to men. To do to James for being an pricktard."

Nice.

Prick tard? I think I could use that.

"You do surprisingly make sense." I mused, finishing up my fag. "Thanks for the advice drunky. Now lets go get you some Sirius."

I ran inside before that last comment registered with her.

I got another drink and Faye, Seph and Natalie had themselves another shot. My GOD, those girls could drink.

Faye and I started dancing like loons and I will admit, it was very nice to let loose and have a night away from the castle (in my case, the library).

That is until I did a spin around Faye and Seph came up to me looking anxious.

"Whats wrong?" I shouted over the music.

"What?" She shouted back.

"WHATS WRONG?"

"WHAT?"

I just looked at her for a minute and then resumed dancing.

She kept spinning me around when I turned and I found it a bit odd but no matter, I was having a nice time.

Then I decided the glass in my hand was detrimental to my sex-appeal and I would have to return it to the bar or set it on a table or something.

What? You don't think I have sex appeal?

When I turned towards the bar I saw what Seph was probably looking worried about. Not surprised, considering her eyes followed all Marauders at all times. Very sweet of her to try to keep me from seeing it but I would have to eventually.

Potter was all over Amelia from our class.

No worry, I'd seen it coming.

Then again, with five drinks in me, I reacted physically more than mentally. I felt my body lurch forward and ran to the bathroom.

After retching my heart out, I cleaned my mouth out and looked in the mirror.

You stupid, stupid girl.

I think that was all I needed to really get over him. He would never change and neither would I.

I walked out to my friend's worried faces but I just shrugged it off. They stayed by me, took more shots with me, and finished dancing with me like good friends were supposed to do.

But its okay. I'm done.

Operation Lily the Man-anizer was officially in session.

And well look at that cracking lad in the corner. I believe his name is Davies. Maybe I'd have to speak with this Davies character before the night was over.

James POV

"Amelia." I held her back. "I'm sorry love, you're smashed, I cant."

She looked up at me with those big doe eyes and pouted a bit.

Cute.

But no cigar.

I walked away and found Sirius coming out of a little nook broom closet adjusting his clothing with a wink at some brunette I had never seen before.

"Living up to the Marauder name, I see." I shouted.

Come to think of it, she definitely was not a student.

Not for at least ten years.

He just smiled that Sirius smile and ran a hand through his hair.

I was lost in thought about how to get Amelia off my case when my eyes caught Lily's, and she was dancing with Faye on the dance floor. She scowled at me and turned around. Then some bloke came up behind her and started rubbing up against her.

Oh no, this simply would not do.

From behind my back I shot a curse at this "lad" under my breath.

Sirius and I laughed relentlessly when he started dancing like a bull in a china shop, bumping into people and most importantly, Lily.

She seemed peeved and moved away from him with a startled look on her face.

Step 1 (of many) of my plan was complete.

Sirius looked at me knowingly and I decided to walk over, but as soon as she turned around her face went from all smiles to surprise, then to acute horror.

"Dance with me." I said closely to her face.

Amazingly, she complied.

Lily's POV

The nerve of this guy!

He cant just snog some dimwit and then come up to me and expect me to dance with him when he knows that I—oh, sod it.

I agreed.

I don't know what I was doing, I was drunk!

Stop judging me!

Okay judge me, because it gets even better.

While we were dancing I formulated a genius plan.

Probably a bad idea since I was upset, drunk, and well, drunk.

With my back to him, things started getting hot and heavy and I was moving against him, running my hands along his thighs, then up to his neck. I turned around and this prick moved his face close to mine and was probably trying to kiss me, but that was the time when I pulled a random guy from nowhere into me and we started to dance, leaving James in the dust.

I felt like I was in a movie.

Only a sad, less exciting, stupid movie where the heroine plays childish games with the love of her life, but you get the gist.

I tried my best not to look back at James and keep dancing.

That would teach him,

YOU DON'T MESS WITH LILY POTTER.

I mean—I just said Potter.

I deserve to die.

Er—I'm drunk. Okay?

Shut up already!

And maybe I started kissing this random guy too.

Maybe.

I'll never tell.

Okay, I did.

And it also might have been Davies, James' Quidditch rival.

Maybe.

A/N: good? No good?

They both have plans now. And they're both psychotic and as messed up as normal people like us are! Yay!

Please review and any criticism appreciated!

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