PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I've been really sick lately, and it just hasn't been letting up. I haven't been able to write very well, between that and being busy with school/swimming/other related things. I'm not lying either - there's a host of people on this site you could PM for confirmation of the fact. I really do apologize for the late update. Please forgive me?

That said, here's what's coming up this chapter: Halt angsting in Hibernia, a baby that looks a bit like Will, and Halt thinking about Will - again.

Please enjoy!

Innocence

Innocence, Halt thought, was a bittersweet emotion.

It was a wonderful, beautiful thing in the eyes of children and infants. That sparkle, that bright light of curiosity, untempered by the dark knowledge of reality or of the sorrows and pains of life. Innocence was constant safety, was laughter that would never fade, was friendship that would last forever and families that would never die. Innocence was, to put things simply, not knowing. And not knowing was a glorious thing.

But it was bittersweet because, lovely as it was, you could never look at it, shining in the eyes of someone you love, without thinking that one day, it would be gone. Nothing lasts forever, and one day, you learn. You discover through experience (because that's really the only way to discover). You know. And then it's gone, and your eyes shine not just with happiness but with sorrow as well, because you know.

Innocence was what had sparkled in Gilan's eyes for over a year, before they had gone on that mission and he'd killed a man. It was self-defense, but he'd done it. And Halt knew from experience that the moment you saw the spark of life go out of the other man's eyes, it went out of yours too. And despite being told time and time again that he'd done the right thing, it was the simple knowledge that he'd stolen the life of another that had haunted his dreams and thoughts. In many ways, he was still a child (he was still only seventeen). But his eyes - one look at his eyes, and you could tell.

Innocence had practically surrounded Will when he had first joined Halt. It was everywhere - in his incessant questions, his laugh, his smile. His eyes. Halt had been almost irritated by it, because the boy possessed so much while he had so little. And then, in just over a year, it had all been gone, and Halt would have done almost anything to get it back. It had been stolen by the things Will had seen, the horrors he had gone through. The tortures he had seen inflicted upon others and, ultimately, himself. No matter how many times he had been told, again and again, that he was home and safe, he knew. And no matter how desperately Halt wanted to go back to last year, things were different now.

For Halt himself, his innocence had been gone very quickly. He and his brother had always fought, and it wasn't long after he turned fourteen that Ferris had begun employing various tactics and ways to kill him. And, of course, when one begins fighting for one's life, things tend to come into perspective very quickly, and Halt was no different. He had lost the mindset of a child in mere months, but perhaps the most painful part of the whole thing was that the only one to notice was his sister.

Yes, innocence was a bittersweet thing. But now—looking into small, solemn, dark brown eyes that were so painfully familiar and yet so different, and seeing once again that beautiful glow of naivety and happiness, Halt made a promise to himself.

His innocence would be protected. No matter the cost to himself, his new grandson's innocence would be preserved in the way that his own could not be—and in the way that Will's could not be.

Things would be different for Daniel.

Halt would make sure of that.

Foreign

It was strange, arriving in Hibernia after all these years away.

It was the same country, he knew. But he couldn't help the strange feeling that it had grown up without him—the same feeling he'd had upon finding Will in Skandia. Like so much had happened without him, and that it had changed so much. The landscape and buildings were the same, but the people acted differently. The wind didn't seem cheerful as it whipped and whistled around small houses and trees and people. It's song was darker, more foreboding.

Halt didn't know what to think.

Several days of traveling through familiar countryside had done nothing to ease the feeling. He had done a superb job acting as if nothing had bothered him, and while Will had at times been concerned, for the most part he had been left alone to think.

It wasn't until that night at the campfire that he realized it. Will and Horace were sitting on either side of him in a circle, as the three of them had been doing for years. It was a position they assumed automatically whenever they sat down and made camp—a habit borne of the dozens upon dozens of missions they had been on together.

Will had made dinner. While he had been cooking, he and Halt had bantered lightly while Horace looked on, no longer feeling like an outsider as he had years ago, but now joining in on the conversation occasionally whenever he felt like annoying someone. There had been lighthearted comments and cheery grins exchanged while eating, mixed in with frequent glares from Halt which were met and countered with smiles and laughter from his younger companions.

All in all, it left Halt with a light, free feeling in his chest that he hadn't felt in what felt like ages. As he stared up at the sky that night, eyes just barely beginning to grow heavy, he realized what had been troubling him.

Hibernia was his birthplace, that was true. He had grown up here. And a part of his heart would always ache for these familiar forests and castles. But he had been away for too long to consider it his home. He had come to Araluen with nothing but the clothes on his back and a deep sadness in his heart, but that had changed. He had a job that he loved and wouldn't give up for anything, and a good king to serve and protect. He had friends he would give his life for. He had married a beautiful woman whom he loved deeply, and who loved him in return. And, he thought, glancing fondly over at Will, he had even found a family.

The land that he had loved and cherished as a child feels foreign to him now. He had been away for too long, had put too much into building a life elsewhere. And he didn't regret any of his decisions. He couldn't be happier with the way his life had turned out. Years ago, he could never have predicted any of it. He had imagined that he would become king, rule for several years, and then die. He had never thought that he would marry (he had never seemed the type), or become a Ranger (he hadn't even known what one was), or ended up with a son who he loved more than life itself.

And, Halt reflected, maybe the fact that Hibernia was no longer his home wasn't a bad thing after all.

Adopt

Halt had always held couples who adopted children in the highest esteem, especially if the child wasn't a baby when they were adopted. There were absolutely no guarantees that they would bond, or that the child wouldn't hate them with a burning passion. Or both, though, he supposed, the first tended to come with the second. In the end, it came down to a couple—or sometimes, a single person—deciding to take a chance and change a child's life for the better by giving away little pieces of themselves and asking nothing in return.

Halt had always seen such an act as the epitome of bravery. He had always thought himself unable to do such a thing—not just because of his life as a Ranger, but because he had never thought himself brave enough.

Which was somewhat ironic, in the face of things.

Halt wasn't sure when he had begun thinking of Will as his son. All he knew was that the bright, cheery boy had quickly filled a space in his heart he had always thought would remain empty—a space that was unique to him and him alone. Oh, Halt would have been lying if he'd said he'd never been fond of the boy. But this was different. He'd felt a connection the day he had dropped Will off at the Ward when he was a baby, and he felt the same connection now, only stronger.

Halt was never truly certain whether he had adopted Will, or whether Will had adopted him. Maybe they had both done so and met in the middle. It didn't really matter to the usually grim, taciturn Ranger. Will was now an integral part of his life. They had, without either of them realizing it, formed a bond that would never be broken. There was no going back.

Strangely, the idea didn't scare Halt nearly as much as he thought it would. He didn't want to go back. Years ago, the thought of such a bond would have terrified him. But things were different now. There were very few people that Halt considered friends, and even fewer who were family. Halt was now more than happy to add Will to the second list, along with Pauline and Crowley. It wasn't particularly impressive, but it was enough. Crowley was his brother, Will his son. Pauline was—well, she was Pauline. Halt wasn't entirely sure what she was to him, but she definitely wasn't a sister. No, never a sister.

Yes, Halt had always held those who adopted children in the highest esteem. Only now, years later, was he finding out that it wasn't quite as hard as he'd originally thought. It was instinctive. Yes, it was challenging, and downright difficult at times, but the rewards in this case had far outweighed the risk. Halt hadn't seen it, but he and Will had grown closer and closer until the day Halt realized that he loved his apprentice more than life itself.

Somewhat ironic, maybe. But wonderful and lovely at the same? Definitely.

Well, that's it for this update. Next chapter: Snap, Disobey, and Eye to Eye. Cassie and Caitlyn will star, along with Ferris and - wait, Will got taller? :) Reviews make me update faster, honest! Concrit appreciated. Flames not. :)