AN: Hi! Heres another chapter for you! I hope you like it! Read and Enjoy and please review! I love to hear from you!
The alcohol hit hard. It had burned going down when she first got here but now it went down with ease. And now that her third bottle was half gone her vision began to blur. It wasn't until Shin, the pub owner, frowned and touched a finger gently to her cheek only to pull it back moist, did she notice she was crying. It was shameful showing such a weak side of herself to others. But Shin didn't seem to judge her; and she was pretty sure she couldn't stop the tears even if she tried. Instead he shuffled the only other two patrons out the door and locked it, flipping the open sign to 'Sorry We're Closed'. He then handed her a box of tissues and seated himself next to her offering words of comfort and assuring her he was a great listener. With his words and seeing the sincerity in his faded blue eyes she gave in.
She poured her heart out to him. Finally explaining to him what happened the night he found her hovering in his doorway bruised, cut up and crying hiding from the rain. The memory turning to words between sniffles as her tears increased and her heart wrenched with pain. The day should have been a special one; it had been Daisuke's birthday. It was an innocent walk, but the cliff; Sakura's moment of turning her head hearing a suspicious noise….it changed her life forever. She heard the rock begin to crumble and though it only took seconds for it to fall out from under his feet it seemed as if the moment moved in slow motion as she lunged to grab hold of him. But he disappeared and before the panic could even set in she followed him over, sliding down the cliff in a desperate attempt to reach him losing her footing and tumbling down the last 30 feet. But she couldn't save him; no matter how much chakra she used she couldn't heal his small shattered body.
The only other thing she remembered about that day was the tears Sasuke shed has he stood over the body of his son and the hurt and anger in his eyes when he finally looked at her. She choked on the words and wiped at her tears as she noted that the bruise on her cheek and her black eye that night hadn't happened during her fall. That's how she found this place, small and quiet tucked into a back street near the edge of the village. Through her tears she thanked Shin for taking her in because that was another time in her life where she didn't want to go home. Shin gave a sympathetic smile and laid his hand over hers giving it a gentle squeeze.
She invited the small gesture of comfort and it kept her going. Going into detail about how everything went downhill from there. Sasuke hadn't spoken to her in weeks, wouldn't even touch her for months more. Repeated his venomous words that still haunted her to this day, he never failed to blame her for what had happened, even though he didn't have to. She knew and lived with the fact every day that it was her fault. Then she recalled the day she learned he was bedding other women. The news had torn the rest of her resolve to shreds and broke the remainder of her heart. She cried for what seemed like days. It was after that she decided that this was her punishment, this all happened because of her. And it was after that day that her fake smile took shape and she acted like the happiest person in the world, putting up with the actions of her husband seeing as she didn't deserve anything more. In the beginning it seemed the best and easiest choice. A smile can hide the pain; it convinced those around her that her life held no misery. It was an amazing power, but each day that passed it slowly killed her on the inside.
With a shaky hand she poured another shot and downed it between small sobs. The pain was beginning to pierce her again and the need to numb it grew stronger. Shin moved the hand covering hers to wrap it around her shoulder in comfort. And the action of comfort tore a sob from her throat. His gentle gesture in her time of need made her silently admit she was foolish for thinking she needed to deal with everything alone. But the truth remained that she had refused the comfort from others. And honestly, she's received more comfort from a man she's only known from this pub than she had seen from Sasuke in years. The man who vowed to love and cherish her was outdone by the old guy who provided the Sake to get her drunk in her low moments of life. If that didn't tell her how worthless Sasuke was then nothing would.
She leaned her head against Shins shoulder and cried, she didn't know for how long but Shin's grip tightened. In a small voice she told him of the woman who was now carrying Sasuke's child. Reluctantly adding how she let the woman talk down to her. And for the first time out loud she voiced how she hated her husband, the love she felt for him long ago disappeared and how she refused to acknowledge the fact till today. It was a cold shot of reality and the truth hurt, but the words rang true that was the one thing she couldn't deny. She then found herself mentioning her run in with Kotetsu and how he confessed his feelings to her and how they kissed. Admitting how she felt things with him she shouldn't have. Voicing her regret how she hadn't noticed him years ago and saved herself from leading this pathetic life. But she silently admitted that even though it was painful she was grateful for even the short time she had with her son. She loved him with all her heart and would never have given up having him for the world.
She closed her eyes and listened with small sobs as Shin assured her that the accident wasn't her fault and how she did the best she could, risking her own life in an attempt to save his. He cursed Sasuke for being so cruel and treating her so badly, standing firm on the words that she didn't deserve being treated like that for any reason. His gentle words continued to soothe her sobs and his voice began to fade into the distance as the alcohol took its final toll and sleep claimed her.
Kotetsu sulked as he turned off the main road and weaved through the dim lit alleyways. His search for Sakura had come up empty. However his anger and frustration had died hours ago after his verbal punishment from the Hokage for neglecting his duties. He wanted desperately to defend himself but in doing so he would have to speak of Sakura's private life which didn't sit well with him. Plus he knew the information would only upset the woman, so he kept his mouth shut with a firm belief that Sakura should be the only one to decide who knows or not.
However it did leave him feeling helpless in not being able to offer her any kind of support. He hadn't considered it before since his need to find her took precedence but perhaps she wouldn't accept his comfort at all? The fact that she could be angry with him or even possibly hate him for what happened before made him queasy. To hear the rejecting words from her once had almost been his undoing, but he held onto that small thread of hope that she would come to realize what he told her was true and his feelings for her ran deep. A second rejection would smash that hope to pieces.
A strangled sigh broke through his tight set lips and he ran his hand through his hair. His inability to find her only made his worry grow. But he didn't know where else to look. He checked out all of her friends' houses thinking maybe she went to them as not to be alone, but of course she wasn't there nor had she talked to any of them. Naruto did however look the most concerned as he commented on Sakura's distressed state during his check-up. That news formed a lump his throat. How hard was she going to fall before the pain would just consume her? He silently promised himself he wouldn't allow that to happen but he knew he had to tread the water slowly in order to reach her.
A cat startled him from his thoughts as it hissed running across his path from between two buildings. The loud clatter that came after it disappeared across the way sent Kotetsu's attention on high alert. He scanned the area quickly discovering a group of young punks stumbling drunk through the next ally over. He frowned at the sight. The group of troublemakers was frequent in this area and seemed to find a thrill in causing trouble for others. Kotetsu always had the itch to knock their heads together, but he left it unscratched. It would just be a waste of time because surely they wouldn't learn any needed lesson from it.
He turned his gaze back to his path and shoved his clenched fists into his pockets. The thought of releasing some anger on them was sounding like too good of an idea though. A few more buildings down he turned right onto a small back street and his frown deepened when his destination came into view. The door to the small pub was shut and the closed sign hung in the window. It wasn't closing time yet. "Did that old geezer get lazy again?" He muttered the questioned to himself. The lights were still on as he peered through the window only to find the place deserted. With a shake of his head and another sigh he rounded the building and unlocked the gate, latching it shut behind him. The backdoor was unlocked as usual as he let himself in.
"Dad?" He hollered kicking off his shoes and making his way down the hallway. Not expecting an answer since he was pretty sure he'd find him sleeping. It didn't matter to him either way since he had only come to drink himself senseless and he didn't need his father for that. But to his surprise the older man appeared from the kitchen and his words drew Kotetsu to a jerking halt.
"Keep your voice down." His words were hushed but stern. "You'll wake Sakura."
Kotestu's heart did a fluttering flip learning she was there, but the moment passed as questions spewed forth. "Sakura? She's here? When did she get here? Is she ok? What is she doing here anyways? How long have you known her? And what do you mean wake her? She's sleeping here?" His gaze darted to the doorways of the two small bedrooms. Finding the door to his old room cracked open. Without even waiting for any answers from his father his strides ate up the five feet to the door and gently swung it open. The sight of Sakura curled up in his old twin sized bed instantly eased his worry for her safety but was quickly replaced by a tightness in his chest and a stab of pain. Her cheeks were flushed and the evidence of tears stained her cheeks.
One weighted foot after another he made his way towards her and crouched next to the small bed. The smell of alcohol filled his nose; she had passed out drunk there was no doubt about that. Yet she looked so fragile and vulnerable as she slept and the need to hold her in his arms made him ache even more. With a slightly trembling hand he reached out catching a strand of hair off her cheek and tucked it gently behind her ear. How he wished he had been here earlier. Even if she would have rejected his comfort, seeing her now only proved that he wouldn't have let her push him too far away. Not when she needed someone so desperately to take away her pain.
"She's an amazing woman." His father spoke softly from behind him. "To think she's lasted so long carrying around so much pain and sorrow, it was only a matter of time before she crumbled from the inside out."
Reluctantly Kotetsu silently agreed with his father's words. "She's a strong foolish woman." He whispered slowly standing. Pushing back the urge to crawl into bed with her and wrap her tight in his arms. "How long has she been here?" He asked his father still unable to draw his gaze from her sleeping face, scared to turn away with fear that she might disappear again.
"Come to the kitchen." His father ordered. "Let her sleep. The love of your life isn't going anywhere anytime soon so you don't have to watch her like a hawk."
Kotetsu tensed and heat rushed to his cheeks. How did he find out? It didn't take long for realization to hit him though, of course Sakura must have told him. The moment of embarrassment was quickly mixed with curiosity. How much did she tell his father? And what did she say about him? Spending another moment taking in the sight of her, he exited leaving the door cracked behind him. He found his dad in the kitchen pouring two cups of tea. "What did she say about me?" He didn't have the patience to beat around the bush and went straight in for an answer.
His father remained quiet and he watched him as he set the teapot down and carried them to the small kitchen table set in the corner. The older man sat and gestured his hand for Kotetsu to join him. Kotetsu frowned as they held each other's gaze and a crooked grin spread across the older man's face. The scene reminded him of the old days. It was practically a ritual for the man to serve him tea and sit at the table as they talked. At times it was annoying, like now, but the memories were nice, only tea wasn't what Kotetsu wanted at the moment. "Don't you have anything stronger?" He mumbled as he took the seat unable to refuse.
"It's plenty strong I assure you." His father grinned wider and took a sip.
Kotetsu's frown deepened unable to argue, but his frustration was beginning to build. "Are you gonna tell me now? What did she say about me?"
His father met his gaze and took another sip before putting his cup down. His delay tactics hadn't weakened that was for sure. Finally he lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "She didn't say much."
Liar! The word echoed through Kotetsu's mind but he bit his tongue. Though he knew it were true he wasn't about to call the man who raised him a liar considering he was only doing it to irritate him. Plus it would only make him mad and despite his age and smaller looking frame the older man was still a powerhouse when angered. "Oh" Kotetsu smirked, he may not be able to call him on it but he'd learned of others ways to give it right back to his father. "Just like Mrs. Shugo down the street didn't have anything to say about you?"
The older man's expression didn't change but he couldn't hide the blush that crept to his cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about." He defended defiantly straightening his shoulders.
Kotetsu bit back a chuckle at his actions. Now that he's older it's gotten easier to rile the man up. "So you aren't a gentle soul who turns into an all-night sex machine?" He raised his brow in questioned, but he couldn't take it when his father's cheeks flared another shade of red and his jaw dropped. He had to laugh outright.
His father snapped his mouth shut and frowned at his son's amusement. "You like picking on your father don't you?"
Kotetsu cleared his throat and tried his best serious look. "I don't know what you're talking about." He threw the man's words right back at him causing his frown to deepen.
It remained quiet between them as they held each other's gaze. The humor of the situation dying slowly as the current situation came back into focus. "How much did you let her drink?" He tried for a different question with hopes for answer.
"Not enough" he averted his gaze and focused on the table. "But I don't think there's enough alcohol in this whole place to help her numb that kind of pain."
"How long has she been coming here?" It irritated him that he didn't find out sooner that she came to his father's pub. How the hell could I not have known?
His shoulder lifted again in a half shrug. "A few years I suppose."
He cursed himself for being completely in the dark of the fact. "How much did she tell you?" He moved to the next question digging for more information, though he was sure it would make that tightness in his chest worsen hearing more about Sakura's pain.
The man stayed silent, the frown on his face disappeared turning something sympathetic and concerned. One shoulder lifted and dropped as he spoke. "Everything."
As expected the tightness worsened. "What's 'everything'?" Kotetsu asked needing to know his meaning of the word.
His father met his gaze and the pain the reflected in his father's eyes formed a lump in his throat. He's hadn't seen that look since his mother left. "She told me about her son and her cheating husband." His voice was low but a hint of irritation could still be heard. "Also how terrible he treated her and that he knocked up his mistress."
Kotetsu closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair before running it down his face with a strangled sigh. She had to have been pretty drunk to talk about her son. It was her one forbidden territory that she swore never to cross into. Perhaps, she was in worse shape than he first thought.
"She also talked about the incident with you." It wasn't the words that shocked Kotetsu but rather the tone his father delivered the news to him in. He was angry.
Meeting the man's gaze which did nothing but prove he was right. "You think it was wrong to tell her?" He questioned in his defense. Maybe it was wrong but it was done and he couldn't change it or take it back. He refused to take it back. "I love her, I always have."
"You'll only hurt her." The older man growled.
"LIKE HELL I WILL!" Kotetsu yelled sending his chair crashing to the floor as his anger peeked at the accusation. "I want to protect her!"
"And how do you intend to do that?" His father kept his composure at his son's outburst but the anger in his voice grew more prominent.
Kotetsu pursed his lips and clenched his fists at his sides. "By showing her that she deserves better and taking her away from that bastard of a husband."
"You really believe that's enough? You think that will protect her?"
No and no. The words remained unspoken as his anger grew. His declaration was weak, he knew that, but it's all he had at the moment.
"She's buried her only child Kotetsu. No parent should have to bury their child. And she did it and dealt with the all on her own. Taking the abuse from her husband as punishment, believing she deserved nothing better." His father averted his eyes again but not before Kotetsu saw that saddened look devour his features. "If I ever lost you I don't think I could go on." Kotetsu's anger dissipated at the pained whispered words. "You're all I have."
A new pain struck him at his father's confession. And for the first time he understood what he hadn't before. He knew the loss of a child was heartbreaking, but seeing the pained look that invaded his father's features….it crushed him. He of course didn't have any children so he couldn't completely understand before. But now for the first time he really put himself in Sakura's position. And the hellish truth hit him like a ton of bricks. Like his father he probably wouldn't be able to go on either if he had to bury his only child. Especially how Sakura lost her child, granted it wasn't her fault but if it had been him he would have blamed himself too. How the hell Sakura did it and could smile even if it was fake it was a miracle.
"What should I do then?" He cursed himself for the small shake in his voice. Why was he always a mess of a man when it came to Sakura?
It was his father's turn to run his hand through his graying hair and let loose a heavy sigh. "Emotionally she's more fragile than she is strong. She just must keep going on willpower alone. And you can bet the walls surrounding her heart are pretty high. Plus, if you just attack her like you did before you're only going to break her more."
Kotetsu gave a small snarl as he bent down to pick up his chair. "Yeah tell me something I don't know."
"Too bad you mother isn't here; she would have better advice than me." His father's spoken words froze him on the spot, his knuckles turning white as they gripped the chair. His next words came out on whisper but they weren't lost on the younger man. "She's just like her."
"SHE'S NOTHING LIKE HER!" Kotetsu snapped back up and glared at his father. "SHE DIDN"T ABANDON HER CHILD!"
His father was taken aback by his anger, considering it was the first time Kotetsu spoke of his mother honestly. "She didn't abandon you." The defensive words threw him for a loop and it only made his anger grow deeper.
"LIKE HELL SHE DIDN'T!" He slammed his hands on the table, the wood cracking in protest beneath them. "Sneaking out in the middle night, not even saying good-bye, not even asking to see me these past 20 years?" He clenched his teeth trying not to yell again. "What part of that would you call not abandoning her child? And you. You crawled into a bottle for 3 years. You know how hard it was for me to see that? How hard I worked to bring you back from that drunken state? I already lost my mother did you think I wanted to lose you too?"
His father paled at his words and lowered his head. "You wouldn't understand."
A growl of irritation resonated from Kotetsu. "Really? What's there to understand? And how can you even defend that woman? She abandoned us both." The older man remained silent and refused to offer even an excuse. Having enough of this apparent pointless discussion Kotetsu threw his hands in the air. "Just forget it. I don't care. The only thing I care about is passed out down the hall because an idiot let her drink too much alcohol." With that he left his father in the kitchen, if he wanted to defend that woman that's fine, but Kotetsu wanted no part of it.
AN: Well? How was it? Please review and let me know! Next chapter in the workings so I hope to get it up soon! Thank you! Luv ya!