AN: Again, this is not really connected. I just had to write a bit of one-sided Jandre because I like Andre liking Jade. Actually I like everyone liking Jade. I'm going to write another one-shot in response to TFB&J after this, but it'll be a separate thing because it won't have anything to do with waiting since it'll be like a what happens after the episode TFB&J thing.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.

[Third Response to TFB&J]

Waiting Game –If I Don't Wait

"Just one little date next week?"

Was Tori trying to kill me? One little date next week would definitely kill me, but not the way Tori thinks.

And now she wants me to show other guys that she can be dated? Why would I want to do that? And why do I want more guys to start asking her out? Isn't Beck Oliver himself enough competition to last a couple lifetimes? But that was not the key issue here, so continuing the rejecting.

"Don't you remember last year? You had a crush on Jade. You really liked her."

Last year? Try my whole life.

If every boy in the school got a chance to know Jade, the real Jade, the one that Tori has barely ever seen, it would take seconds to go from no guys at Hollywood Arts asking Jade out to every guy at Hollywood Arts asking Jade out. Well maybe except for the gay guys and teachers. I take that back, probably even some of the teachers would ask Jade out. And if Beck wasn't my best friend, I would probably be the first to run to Jade. I'm a pretty confident guy, but I know that there's some pretty good-looking guys at my school, like my boy Beck. And a lot of them aren't very good guys.

But Jade belongs to Beck, even though Beck keeps breaking her heart. And I can't do a thing about that but wait for the one day where things blow up so badly that they stop going back together. Or I find a new Jade. At this rate though, it seems like I'll be waiting a long time. Another Jade…

Oh Tori, you are going to be the reason for my death. There are so many different ways things can go if I do ask her out, but every single one ends with my death, one way or another.

Possibility 1

Possibility 1 is also the most likely possibility. I go ask Jade out and she takes her scissors and kills me. You see, Jade normally wouldn't go so far as to kill me. I'm very proud to say that I am one of the few people she does care about even if she doesn't admit it. But we made a promise like eight years ago that we would never date. Every time we go for like sushi or something, it's always a friends-hanging-out thing and not a date thing. Asking her out would go against that. And going against a deal you make with Jade will almost always result in death; unless you're like Beck Oliver or something. I still don't understand why Beck can get away with like everything and I can't.

Possibility 2

In the rare possibility that Jade doesn't kill me for breaking a promise, even if it's one we made eight years ago, she'll kill me if she finds out about my conversation with Tori. She would think that that's the reason that I'm asking, and not, you know, because I'm in love with her. Any girl would be mad if her friend asked her out so that her ex-boyfriend can date other girls. And this is Jade West, so you put together the pieces.

Possibility 3

Possibility 1 happens. Then possibility 2 happens. And I somehow die twice.

Possibility 4

If Jade, for some reason, doesn't kill me for breaking a promise and she doesn't find out about the conversation, then Beck will kill me. Beck's one of my best buds, and he's pretty easy to read. As much as he likes to pretend that he doesn't love Jade. He does. And me asking Jade out would make him realize that right away. And he's probably learned a thing or two about killing people from Jade. I mean that girl could probably kill someone with something as harmless as…toilet paper.

Possibility 5

Beck somehow manages to maintain his pride and stick to his I-don't-love-Jade thing. But she is his ex-girlfriend. And dating ex-girlfriends are enough grounds for killing.

Possibility 6

I date Jade and other boys realize Jade is dateable. Then they go get to know Jade. Once they meet the real Jade, they'll want Jade. And then they'll all kill me.

So if I don't wait and I ask Jade out, I would die. And to prevent certain death, I think I'll continue to play the waiting game. Until I meet another Jade. Or until Jade realizes that Beck is a horrible boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I love my boy Beck, in a friendly way, but he's not the best boyfriend. And Beck gets better at maintaining his cool about all things Jade. That's like the only time that boy has emotion, I swear. And Jade forgets about our stupid promise. Looks like this waiting game is the longest game I'll ever play. Ohhhh chiz… this is making me all wonky again.

Fin.

AN: This is really sloppy. And doesn't really sound like Andre. I'm sorry. I should probably rewrite this and try harder. But I'm going to post it as is anyways instead of rewriting it because I have so many things I want to write. Tell me what I should fix if I ever decide to come back and rewrite it.