Tony dreamt about Loki.

He kept seeing his face at different points in their relationship: the haughty, unimpressed look the night they first met; that mixture of shock, fright and anger in his eyes at Tony's interruption on Thanksgiving; the smirk on his lips and in his glittering green eyes the first time he slipped his hand down Tony's pants; the warm smile he gave Tony, his eyes darkened by desire, his cheeks flushed with heat, the first time he slid himself deep inside Tony; and, finally, that last devastating look of disappointment and heartbreak as he walked away from Tony and left him.

When Tony woke up, his face was wet with tears. His chest hurt. And someone had made a mess of his bedroom. He staggered to his feet, trying to recall anything from his memory, some recollection of what had happened in the last… What day was it? He fell back onto the bed with a thump as he caught his reflection in the mirror.

He looked awful. His hair was in total disarray, spiked all around his head. There were darkened circles under his bloodshot eyes and the bruise Pepper's punch caused was a sickening shade of yellow against his tan skin. Not to mention the sharp stab of pain he felt anytime he moved his mouth because of the split lip, thanks to Howard. His head throbbed. He needed a shower and some food. Then maybe he could get a grip, he thought as he closed his eyes again.

Loki.

His eyes snapped open. Shit. He fucked up. Again. Twice, in the span of one weekend. Nice going, Tony.

It all came back to him in a flood of images, like someone was showing him one of those comic flip books. He looked around in horror and embarrassment, realizing he had torn his own room apart and the dorm. Damn it, the dorm. Moving faster than he thought he was capable of at the moment, Tony wrenched open the door to his room and skidded into the communal area. His back straightened, his eyes narrowed, because the room was in perfect order, spotless, even. All the books were put away. The table and chairs were upright and in their rightful place.

He looked toward Thor's room, but the door was open. The big ole blond always left his door open when he was gone so Tony knew he wasn't there. But there was something taped to the doorjamb today. That was new, he thought as he moved closer to examine it. It was a sealed envelope with his name written across it in block letters. "Thor," Tony said quietly with a shake of his head. He pulled it down and opened it.

"Tony, I hope you're well when you read this. I shall be staying with my lady Jane for the week. Her roommate is away for a family emergency so it will not be a problem. I know there are many things I do not know about you, Tony Stark. I have my reservations about your involvement with my brother, but I do believe you are a good man and are simply going through a difficult time. I do not wish to see you go down the same path our friend Bucky has previously taken. I know that situation had a particular affect on Loki, and I would ask that you take that into consideration before you make your next move. My brother cares for you, Stark. As much as I know you care for him. Be the man I know you can be. Take care of yourself, Tony Stark. Your friend, T. Odinson."

Tony folded the note back up and considered Thor's words. Loki was right. Thor was not as dumb as people took him to be. "Stereotypes suck," he muttered to himself, thinking of Loki's own judgment of Tony before he really got to know him. The thing was Tony was a stereotype. Poor little rich boy, wasn't that what he was? He had asked Loki once what his first impression of him was. Loud, obnoxious, entitled, a spoiled brat, he had said. It was the reason Loki wanted nothing to do with him initially—it was too reminiscent of a certain not-really-my-brother blonde in the room across the hall. At the time Tony laughed it all off; yeah, he was loud, he could be obnoxious, and he did have a false sense of entitlement. And spoiled brat was being generous. But now…it was an appropriate characterization of him. And how cliché was it of him to choose liquor as his escape?

Tony walked back into his bedroom and spotted the bottle of Jack Daniels on his dresser, remembered that was what he was drinking from when Loki showed up. Nope, this is not happening anymore. He snatched up the bottle and stomped to the kitchen. He was about ready to dump out the nearly empty bottle when an idea struck him. It wasn't enough to say he would do it, not just to himself.

Tony screwed the cap back on the bottle and set it aside. Concerns, worries, insecurities—everything was going through his mind as he planned. His eyes roamed around the mess of his bedroom. He would have to clean up the aftermath of Hurricane Tony first. Then it was on to Project Fix Tony.

It took Loki a moment to realize someone was knocking on his door. He was lost in his book. No, he corrected himself, dog-earing the page he was on and setting it down on his bed as he rose. He was lost in thoughts of Tony. The stupid idiot hadn't come around in another two days. There were noises coming from his dorm: loud music, as usual, which explained why he never came to the door when someone knocked or tried to call. Or so Loki had heard. He hadn't tried to speak to the man himself. Out of principal, of course. And rustling and screeching, like the kind wood furniture made when being moved around.

Then it went quiet the afternoon of the day before. But Tony had yet to emerge. He hadn't called or texted Loki either. So what in the name of the gods was he doing? Was Loki getting the brush-off? He supposed if you gave someone like Tony Stark a choice between a long-term relationship that could change everything in your entire life and a bottle of good, aged whiskey, that Tony would go for the one that would make him forget his emotions, not feel even more of them.

But Loki missed the stupid idiot. More than he wanted to. And much more than he knew he should have. Loki meant what he said to Tony, those last words he left him with. He wouldn't watch him drown himself in alcohol like he had Bucky. It was only later, as he cried himself to sleep in the dark, when he realized he had called Tony "the man he loved." It would have shaken him to his core and scared him shitless for saying it, if he thought Tony would even remember it. But he was so bombed that, even if by some miracle they did speak again, Loki felt safe that Tony didn't catch it.

"Coming," he called out irritably when there was another knock. Who came knocking on someone's door at a quarter to midnight in the middle of the week? Of course, it would be you.

Tony smiled weakly when the door was pulled open. He was grateful Loki answered and not Clint.

Loki felt relief wash through him at seeing Tony again. "Anthony…" His name came out a soft, delighted sigh. Then he remembered their last meeting, their last words, and frowned. "What do you want?"

Tony noticed the change and didn't blame Loki for it. "I just want to talk to you."

Loki crossed his arms, telling himself to be strong, to not give in. "Then talk."

Tony's lips curved up on one side briefly and he held out his hand. "Come with me for a second?" Loki's eyes fell to his hand then back up to eyes. Tony grinned softly. "No tricks. I promise." Relenting a little, Loki uncrossed his arms and slipped his hand into Tony's, letting himself be pulled along across the hall, closing his own door behind him.

Tony led him into his dorm toward the kitchen. On the counter next to the sink there was a line of bottles of alcohol of various sizes: a tall bottle of Smirnoff; a shorter, fatter one of Jameson; another tall, thin bottle of Grey Goose; a decanter each of Patrón Silver and Jose Cuervo Gold; a small bottle of Johnnie Walker; and, finally, the extra large bottle of Jack Daniels. All of them were at different stages of being consumed.

When Loki spotted the line of bottles he stopped and took his hand from Tony's grasp. "You said you wanted to talk, Anthony. Did you bring me here to drink with you? You've wasted your time, if so, because I will not."

"No, I know." Tony took Loki's arm again and brought him further into the kitchen to stand next to him. "This isn't what you think."

"Then what is it?"

Tony looked at the line-up, pursed his lips. "Think of it as gesture."

Loki frowned at Tony. "What kind of gesture?" Tony plucked up the half-full bottle of Smirnoff, twisted off the cap and poured it out over the sink. Loki's mouth fell open. "Anthony…!" He watched, astonished and almost touched, as Tony silently emptied all but two of the bottles.

"I decided that I want to get in control of my drinking," he explained after the Patrón Silver was gone.

Loki didn't show it but he was filled with pride. "Are you not giving it up completely?"

Tony shook his head with a small smile. "Baby steps, Loki. Cold turkey never worked for me before. But I'm not gonna keep any in my room or in the dorm anymore. Shouldn't be a problem with Thor since he doesn't drink anything but those nasty ales they only serve in bars." He smiled hopefully at Loki. "I'll be a social drinker; only when I go out. And even then…" He shrugged, let the end of the sentence fade away.

He moved to lean against the sink and forced his fingers not to fidget.

"Loki, I started drinking pretty regularly when I was fourteen. I convinced myself it was because I liked the taste and the way it made me feel. Every time I had a blackout, I promised myself it would never happen again. And then it would." He reached for the Jose Cuervo and uncorked it, poured it down the drain. "I drink because I'm scared," he blurted out.

Loki didn't move and wished his silly heart would stop beating so erratically. "What are you afraid of?"

Tony set the empty Cuervo bottle aside with the others. "Well, before, I drank because I was depressed and angry at Howie and upset about my mom and stuff. You know?" He sent Loki a self-deprecating smile then lowered his eyes. "Me and emotions—we don't mix as well as vodka and cranberry juice."

"Why do you drink now, Anthony?"

His gaze remained downcast and he swallowed. "Same, except… The last time you saw me…" His voice cracked and Loki moved closer, laid a hand on his chest. He covered it with his own. "I was scared because I thought I was gonna lose you," his paused because his voice had begun to shake, "because I almost, almost, let my father convince me that I was going to fuck this up, too."

Loki touched his face with feather-light caresses. "Anthony…" He tried to lift his face, so he could properly look at him, but Tony took his hands away, keeping them between his at their waists. His head stayed low, as well.

"Let me get this out…um." He took a breath. "I drink to deal. With everything. But then it kinda hit me that I don't need to do that anymore…"

Finally, Loki thought when Tony lifted his eyes to his.

"Because now I have you," he said with a small smile. Loki's head tilted to the side; his lips parted to say something but, for once, he was speechless. "And you make everything easier to deal with." Loki's eyes were brimming with tears as he tried to return the smile. He stepped back as Tony dropped his hands to grab the Jack Daniels bottle.

Loki grabbed his wrist before he could pour it out. "Anthony, no!" Tony looked up at him with questioning eyes. "That…that is your favorite…"

"I know." He smiled and removed Loki's hand from his wrist, pressing his lips to the backs of his fingers before releasing it. "I know what I'm doing, babe." He tipped the bottle into the sink until it was completely drained and slid it across the counter to stop next to the others.

"Why are you doing this?" Loki asked softly.

"For you," Tony answered immediately. He smiled, shook his head and blinked back tears. "And for me. And to prove to Howard that I actually can do something good for myself." Again, Loki took his face in his chilly pale hands, lifted it until he was forced to meet his emerald gaze.

"His opinion does not matter."

Tony grinned, still fighting tears. "I know it's not supposed to, Loki, but it does. Especially because if he knew about what I'm doing here, he would tell me I was totally going to fail at it—drinking less and being with you."

"Then he does not know you well. And it is his loss."

Tony chuckled, dragged a finger under his eyes. "We make a pretty snazzy pair, don't we, babe? Couple of screwed up guys with daddy issues."

Loki had stepped back to let Tony clear his face, leaned against the counter by the stove. He grinned at Tony's assessment. "I prefer to think of myself as a work in progress. Do you really believe you are screwed up, as you so crudely put it?"

"I'm not even twenty-two yet and I've got a drinking problem."

"That is not mich of a rarity these days, sweetheart."

Tony gave him a challenging look. "Until you, I've been involved in nothing but casual relationships—if you can call them that. Besides Pe—uh, her, no one lasted more than a night or two. And they were all based on nothing more than physical attraction." Loki smiled, caught himself, and looked away. "What?"

Loki let out a laugh that sounded like ehehehe. "Anthony, our relationship began based on nothing more than a physical attraction to each other, did it not?"

"Yeah…" He pushed himself up from the sink. "But that's not the case anymore. Right…?"

"What do you mean?"

Tony moved to Loki, placed his hands on the counter on either side of his lean frame, trapping him. He reached up then, tucked Loki's hair behind his ear, his fingers tracing down the side of his face before dropping back onto the counter. "It's more than just the physical stuff between us now, isn't it?"

Loki wondered if Tony had heard him that night after all. His eyebrows twitched at the primal look in Tony's eyes and grinned softly. "Yes…"

"Good. Glad we cleared that up." Tony reached up, pressed his mouth to Loki's, his hand slipping to the back of his head, under that thick black hair. Loki didn't hesitate in returning the kiss. He missed Tony, missed the contact, but he wasn't sure if they should have been doing it there, then. He pressed his hands to Tony's chest and lifted his mouth.

"Anthony…wait…"

Tony didn't go far. He kept his face pressed to Loki's but wouldn't open his eyes. He feared if he did the tears he had been fighting all day—all of his life—would fall freely. "Please, Loki… Don't give up on me."

"Anthony?" Cupping his chin, Loki forced Tony's face up. Though his eyes remained close, there were tears seeping through his closed lids, and Loki wiped at them with his fingers and thumbs.

Tony's arms slid around Loki and held him tight. "Promise me? Even if I push you away…? Don't run away. Promise you'll stay?"

Loki's brows knitted together. "Look at me."

Tony shook his head. "Can't…"

Loki switched their positions and eased Tony onto the counter so their faces were on an even level. His heart raced. He was a jumble of emotions: concern, fear, uncertainty. "Why can't you look at me?"

Tony fought Loki's hands and fingers as he tried to lift his face. He cursed in his head when he began to tremble. "Scared, Loki…"

Loki squeezed his eyes shut, kept his voice soft, coaxing. "Of what, darling…?"

Tony's lips pressed together until they were a thin white line. "Your eyes…the only place I see me." He shook his head again, more roughly this time. "Don't wanna lose that, don't wanna forget that because…without you I don't…" His breath hitched and Loki's heart stopped. "I don't know who I am."

"Look at me, my love."

Tony went still at the endearment and slowly his eyes met Loki's. He saw the alarm in Loki's eyes and realized with a soft gasp that he, too, was trembling. "Loki?"

Loki swallowed the lump in his throat. "Do you remember what you said to me the night before winter vacation? That…that you would always come back to me?"

Emotion, the heaviness in his chest—the same he felt when he woke up crying after dreaming of Loki, of losing Loki—made it impossible for the genius to speak, so he simply nodded. His arms went around Loki again when the paler man laid his forehead against Tony's.

"I will never give up on you, Anthony, as long as you always return to me."

"Yes." Tony lowered Loki's chin, lifted his mouth to his, slid off of the counter, and started to maneuver Loki toward his bedroom.

"You are mine," Loki whispered between kisses. "If you forget who you are, you look to me…" Their lips came together again, came apart as Tony lifted Loki's shirt and his own tee over their heads. "…and I will remind you." Shoes were kicked off, a door kicked closed. "You are mine, Anthony." With a soft grunt, Loki fell to the bed with Tony kissing him, reaching for his zipper, rushing to remove Loki's pants and his own.

"I love you."

Tony looked at Loki and swallowed back a sob. "I love you." Loki rose to kiss him once more, raising his hips to shove off his pants. "Remind me, Loki…" Loki moved to a sitting position to help Tony free himself of his jeans, flipped their positions. "Remind me who I really am…" Tony fell back to the bed, panting. He moaned when he felt Loki's tongue, thick and wet, at his entrance. Loki busied himself preparing Tony, began to stroke him. "Loki…"

Tony clawed at him, reaching for him until Loki crawled back up, laid his mouth on Tony's. After a moment, he broke the kiss to coat his fingers with saliva, rubbed them over the head of his cock. He stroked once, twice, then eased himself into Tony, before moving his hand to Tony's cock.

"Yes…yes… Fuck, I love you, Loki."

Loki groaned in response, overwhelmed by everything: the declarations of love, the feeling of being completely surrounded by Tony, hearing his name over and over spill from Tony's lips in pained ecstasy. "And I you, Anthony. Ohh… Gods, I love you… Yes, love, lift, just like that."

"Unhhh…unhhh…harder, baby, please…oh, god…"

Tony's head thrashed around his pillow, unaware that more tears—happy tears—were trickling from his eyes. Loki did as he asked and thrust harder. His hand slid down Tony's left thigh, until he could lift the leg to hang over his shoulder, and thrust again. His arm flew out, landing against the wall, using it as leverage so he could enter Tony completely.

"Ohhhh fuuuuuuuck, Loki…!"

Loki grunted and moaned with each roll of his hips; he reached between their bodies to begin stroking Tony again. A few strokes in and Tony was already writhing beneath Loki, crying out as the orgasm ripped through him, his body arching up off the bed. His legs went around Loki's waist, his hands slid down Loki's sides until he reached his narrow hips, and moved him, aiding in Loki's pumping.

"Come in me, babe…"

Loki threw his head back on a deep moan. "Ah…you want it, Anthony?"

"Yes, yes, yes… Gimme…uhhh yes, give it to me, baby…uhhh…"

Loki could feel Tony tightening around him and his back bowed, and he folded in on himself. "Oh, gods, Tony! Ffff…mmm…"

Tony's hips lifted from the bed to meet Loki's. He opened his eyes and saw Loki biting his bottom lip. He laughed. "Say it, baby. You want to. Mmmmnnnnff… Say it!"

Loki moved faster and faster until he finally reached his peak. "Ohh…my fucking gods!"

"YES!" Tony laughed hard when Loki's body fell on top of him. His arms snaked around the thin frame and he continued to laugh. Loki's breath was coming fast, his body and Tony's were slick and sticky with sweat and come, but still he reached down to pull himself out of Tony. He collapsed onto his belly next to his still chuckling lover. It took a good ten minutes for their breathing to quiet and slow.

Staring up at the ceiling, Tony ran the back of his hand along the smooth skin of Loki's back, down and over the curve of his ass. He turned his hand over and dipped his fingers into the crack between his cheeks.

"Mmm…" Loki shifted when his cock twitched at Tony's touch.

"Already? Insatiable," he mumbled.

Without lifting his head or looking to see what he was doing, Loki's fingers crawled over Tony's thigh and wrapped around his semi-hard cock. "I am not alone." He stayed still, lazily stroking Tony, until he felt something wet slip between his ass cheeks, and his hips automatically lifted. He shifted his leg, bending it to allow for more room. He dropped his hand back to the bed when Tony moved to sit up.

Sitting on his knees, Tony fingered Loki's entrance, pushing in a second finger, with one hand, and stroked his still-building erection with the other. He gripped Loki by the hips and with one hard yank, pulled his body toward him. Like Loki had, Tony slicked up the head of his cock. He moved over Loki's long frame, teased his entrance with the tip of his cock. He smiled when Loki's hips elevated once again to meet his.

Loki whined a little. "Tony…please…"

Tony pressed open-mouthed kisses to Loki's back, marking a trail up to his neck until his mouth hovered just above Loki's ear. "I love it when you say my name like that." He kissed Loki's cheek when his lips curved in a smirk.

"I know." Tony pushed just the tip of his cock into Loki and Loki's body rose almost enough to have him on all fours, forcing Tony to fall back on his legs again. "UUUNNNNHHHH…TONY," Loki moaned loudly then lowered to the bed again, burying his face into Tony's pillow.

"Say it, just once, babe. Please?" he asked moving back into position.

Loki laughed, the sound muffled by the pillow, his body still grinding against Tony, trying to find some friction, another release. "Mnh…why do you like to hear me use that language, Anthony?"

"Same reason I like hearing my nickname when you're about to come…" He grinned and licked his lips when Loki whined again and threw his head back. Tony slid his hand around the long column of Loki's neck and up then slipped a finger into his mouth. Loki began to suck on it, tasting himself.

"Mmm…why…?"

"I like hearing that pretty mouth with that proper accent say that dirty word."

Loki chuckled. His long tongue flicked out and drew a second of Tony's fingers into his mouth. "Must you continue to tease me, my love?"

"Mm-mm." Tony pulled his hand away from Loki's mouth, nuzzled and nibbled on his neck. He ran his wet fingers down Loki's throat then trailed his hand along Loki's arm to his hand, gripping the edge of the mattress. Tony slid his fingers through Loki's, until they were laced together. "Say it…and I'll do it."

"Will you…? Unh…"

"Yes, baby."

Loki was practically panting now and probably would've done anything Tony asked him to. So to make his lover happy, Loki said the words Tony wanted to hear. "Mmn… Fuck me, Tony. Fuck me hard." He cried out in pleasure when Tony plunged himself inside him, pushing himself all the way in. Loki's left hand flew to Tony's left hip. "Don't move, darling, not yet. Ohh, gods, I can feel you growing harder inside me… Tony…"

Tony moaned and every one of his muscles went rigid and taut. "Now…?" His teeth clenched, like his muscles had, against the urge he had to move. Loki made it even more tortuous when he pressed back up against him.

"Yes, now." Loki cried out again as Tony began to move, fast and hard. "Mmmm… Kiss me, Anthony…"

Tony slid his fingers into Loki's hair, gripped the back of his skull and drew his head back until he could reach his mouth. His hips moved as he dipped his tongue deep into Loki's mouth. Loki reached up and slipped his fingers into his hair.

"Mmm," he pulled back just enough to look at Tony. "I love you, Anthony."

Tony kissed him again, deeply, slowly. He grinned against Loki's lips. "I know."

Loki's laugh was lost among the moans.