Hello lovely readers!
Yesss, finally a new chapter. Sorry it took so long; I have been to London, which was REALLY AMAZING and didn't had the time or energy to continue. Too bad I couldn't stay to see Brendan at Reverie. My boss didn't allow me to stay away a few days longer.
When I got back at work my boss offered me the possibility to work more hours, and since it's quit hard to find a job now in Europe, I took this opportunity with both hands.
Bill Breuer, the writer of the playa faery's kiss, contacted me some weeks ago! He offered help and told me things about acting and the production of a play. He even sent me the real script! It's really exciting and I'm very thankful. I will use the information for the next chapters.
I hope you all like this chapter!
Disclaimer:
Downton abbey is not mine, but I would like to write and own the spin-off about Anna and Bates!
A faery's kiss is written by Bill Breuer
This story is again edited by Lalizi, who writes wonderful fanfiction herself as well (And she actually met BC! I'm so jealous)
Anna arrived home and went straight to her bed. She felt a little dizzy.
She kept turning and turning; she couldn't find a good way to fall asleep. Somehow, she couldn't cry about what happened. Anna was stunned about the whole situation. She was sure he flirted with her, wanted to kiss her,… she didn't force him – only begged him. In the dark, she hid under the sheets from her own shame.
In her mind she could see his face, so close to hers. She remembered his touch, his hands caressing her face. Why was he feeling so ambivalent if it was so obvious they were attracted to each other? Alas, his words couldn't have been clearer.
Pondering, she eventually fell into a restless sleep.
Together, John and Anna rehearsed during the next weeks. Anna was feeling out of spirit but she tried not to think about him too much – which she failed at badly. She did whatever was expected of her and was a positive complement to the cast, although she and John kept some distance with each other in the beginning. Nevertheless, she found herself staring at him from time to time, as she found him doing the same at her. There was still a constant tension between them and an attraction she couldn't deny.
A few times they went out for coffee with Mary and Matthew and even one time with Mrs. Hughes and Carson. Anna did have fun, laughed a lot, felt so comfortable talking to him… but she couldn't help but feeling heavy-hearted when she came home. All night she went over the events of the day; the rehearsing of their fights, their intimate conversations between scenes and the awkward feeling rehearsing the kissing scene again and again.
Robert had noticed Anna was feeling down, but she promised she could give everything when she had had a few nights of peaceful sleep. For that reason, it was a welcome change that they had a different week ahead of them, without rehearsing the kiss.
It was almost time for the first performance and that was why they would have to do some interviews and promotion of the play. There was a busy week scheduled to meet with journalists, magazines and TV hosts. Happily for Anna, the interviews were all divided between the cast members.
Also, Saturday next week, Robert had organized a garden party at his estate a few hours drive from London. Anna was already looking forward to it.
The Friday before this week, a group of the cast went to a pub to celebrate the weekend and to talk about the week ahead of them. Anna had avoided John by sitting at a different table and was now having a conversation with Ethel and Tom. Anna and Ethel had finally become closer during the rehearsals when Ethel had lost her cheeky behavior. Anna was ordering another round of cider, when John stood up from his table and joined her at the bar. He smiled at her before he started to talk.
"I missed you at our table..." There was a short silence before he continued, "I just asked Mary and Matthew over to stay at my cottage next Friday and Saturday… and I was wondering if you would think about joining us. That is, … only if you feel comfortable."
Anna was actually happy he had approached her; she missed the conversations of just the two of them this evening, although she did feel a bit surprised by his question.
"You have a cottage? Where?" she asked to get some more information about what she was about to agree to.
"It's near Robert's estate, only a few miles away from it. Although it's quite old, it's a cozy little place in a small forest. It belongs to my mother, but she has never gone back there since my father died. I go there sometimes to get out of this crowded city and find some peace of mind", John explained.
"That sounds lovely", Anna said, dreaming of the thought of a few days out of the city.
"Yes, it really is. I would like you to see it and I'm sure you will get a good night's sleep there. It has a real magic to it, I can tell," he told her with a sincere smile.
"So, Mary and Matthew are coming too?"Anna asked to be sure.
"Yes, they are… and we really need someone who can make lovely desserts, since I'm only good at making main dishes, and they can't cook at all, as far as I know…" John joked.
Anna laughed. "Well, if you're cooking as brilliant as last time, I really can't refuse", she said, trying not to blush while her thoughts automatically brought back their kiss of that evening.
John must have been thinking the same, because he was silent for a few seconds while their eyes met. Anna held her breath until John gave her a little smile. She wondered how he was feeling now. Maybe as uncomfortable as herself? Or maybe he was thinking she was completely over him already. She sure was not.
"So it's settled then?" he finally said.
"It's settled", Anna made her reply.
After some early radio interviews, Anna had gone home to pack her small suitcase for the weekend. Without realizing, she took extra care of what to take. No worn out knickers, but nice lingerie - her girly white nightgown, instead of her comfy pajamas. She didn't expect anything to happen. The last week she and John had just been friends, and she wanted just a relaxed weekend. But secretly, she still wanted to look at her best.
After packing she continued with the desserts. It was really too much for the four of them; Two pies, a pudding and a tart tartin. Well, she was sure they wouldn't have to starve all weekend!
In the afternoon, Matthew and Mary picked her up in a car and together they took a two-hour drive to the cottage. Anna had fallen asleep while Matthew drove them there and when she woke up she was surprised by the view. The hills were beautifully green and light orange in the afternoon sun. The trees were yellow and red from the beginning autumn. The sky was clear except for some clouds on the horizon. It was like a fairytale.
The car followed a narrow path that was on either side grown with trees and shrubs. A few times there was a field of grass and a little cottage alongside of it. Some were ruined, which gave the place a magical look.
There was one last turn in the road, before they reached the cottage they were heading for. Anna almost gasped for air when the little house came into view. Matthew parked the car alongside the fence of the property and before they knew it, John was at the little gate that led to the cottage.
John welcomed them heartily when they all walked over the path to the house and carried some of Anna bags, which contained her pies. Anna just stopped before entering the place, to take in the view. It was quite a small cottage. There was a large lawn in front, where they had just walked across. It was surrounded by trees and bushes. It was a sheltered little area that made it look like they were separated from the real world. There were probably few who knew of its existence.
The stones that were used for the walls gave the cottage a warm and welcoming feeling. The interior seemed a bit old fashioned, but it was very cozy. John had lit a fire before they had arrived and the radiating glow and the smell of burning wood made Anna feel instantly at home.
As soon as John had unpacked all of Anna's desserts, he showed them their rooms. He had planned for Anna to share a room with Mary, and Matthew to share one with him. Immediately Mary disagreed. It was her first weekend out with Matthew and she told John without shame she had planned to spend as much time together with him as possible. Anna could see that Matthew agreed with Mary. He blushed but didn't say a word.
Anna and John shared a look. John raised his eyebrows to question Anna's opinion. Anna gave Mary a smile and a bit of an annoyed glance when she said, "It's alright. John and I will be fine together."
"I can sleep on the sofa, if you prefer it?" he offered.
"No please, there's no need. It's your house and we can't have you getting up with a sore back tomorrow, while we're here to regain some energy for the days ahead of us."
Anna grabbed her suitcase and took it into their bedroom. Fortunately, the bed was big enough for them to sleep comfortable and separately. Although it felt a bit awkward, Anna was content with this change. She tried to get rid of the images that entered her mind.
John appeared in the doorway while Anna was unpacking. She could hear Mary and Matthew giggling in the room next to them.
"I was hoping for a quiet night, but I'm not so sure of that anymore", John said with a grin, hinting about their neighbors.
Anna's eyes grew big and she started to giggle, "Oh my god John, don't start about that,… please… I don't want any images forming in my brain."
He gave her an understanding look.
There was a sudden silence between them. Although Anna knew she had to keep a distance, she wanted to walk over to him and kiss him right there and then. But she didn't. She wanted to give him space and hopefully he would one day find out for himself he was worth her love.
To flee from the silence, Anna brushed past John into the kitchen and started looking into the pots and pans.
"Oh, this smells heavenly John. I can't wait to start dinner," she told him.
"Well, why wait? Let's heat it up and we will have an early feast to welcome you all to this humble cottage", he beamed his smile at her.
They had a lovely meal together. They sat at the cozy table with a checkered red and white table linen. John had switched the lights off and instead he put candles between the pots and pans standing on the table. The lights of the flames were dancing on the walls.
The lovely smells had filled the room. It smelled like autumn supposed to smell: pumpkin soup, long cooked meat with carrots, mushrooms and gravy, potatoes and a fresh salad with all kind of nuts. With it they drank a well-chosen wine that complemented the food with its earthy but sweet taste. Everyone was amazed. They had such a good time together.
Afterwards, they ate the tart tartin with some cinnamon ice cream. It was the best imaginable ending to their dinner. After another glass of wine, Mary and Matthew excused themselves and went to their room. Again, Anna and Bates glanced at each other and knew it was better to give the lovebirds some time on their own.
John invited Anna to sit in the backyard of the cottage. There was a little fireplace and around it there were some big tree trunks to sit on. Anna decided to sit on one of the trees, at some distance to not tempt herself to do anything stupid. John collected some logs of wood and made a small fire. He sat on the ground near Anna and she could see he really enjoyed himself. He was much more calm, relaxed and less private than sometimes at work. He was in his element. She loved to see him like this.
The night was dark and even with the fire burning, they could see the stars above them shining bright.
"Don't you just love stargazing?" John said to himself as well as to Anna. He continued, "In the city I never look up. There's so much around to see. But it makes you forget how tiny we are and forget the things that really matter. Our lives seem so small compared to the universe. The stars make me think of the bigger picture, what life is about."
Anna thought for a few seconds and then said, "Yes, you are right. I think about so many things when I look up at them. The little shining diamonds amaze me every time again. It reminds me to stop wasting my days; our existence on earth is so short".
After this, Anna's mind drifted off to her hopes and dreams. She smiled in the dark.
"You're so beautiful when you smile Anna,…" she suddenly heard John say to her. Her eyes tried to meet his, but it was too dark to see them.
"You should smile more often", he continued and went on, "Tell me what thoughts have made you smile like this?"
Anna didn't know what to do or say in reply. She wanted to tell him about the thoughts she had when he had interrupted her… but, she didn't want to push him away. And she didn't want to get her own hopes up again. She stayed silent and stared into the fire.
When he noticed she wouldn't answer, he told her of his own thoughts: "I was thinking about how beautiful a life here could be. This… situation…. reminds me of a quote I read this week. - We would be together and have our books and at night be warm in bed together with the windows open and the stars bright –".
Anna was silent and tried to process what he had just said. She could imagine how he would hold her in his arms while lying in bed together…
"Sometimes I wish for that Anna. Oh, how I wish it was that simple", he added.
Anna felt she had to say something now. "It sounds lovely to me. Why is it but a dream to you? It shouldn't be… "
She wanted to say something more, but didn't want to give herself away. He was confessing his dreams to a friend. She couldn't think only about herself.
Dispirited he said, "Yes, it sounds so simple, but…., it isn't Anna." Anna looked up again when he said her name a bit louder, as to get through to her when he did. John was getting closer to the fire and she could now see his expression. He had a sad look on his face.
Anna felt the urge to hold him, but stayed in her place. "I'm apparently not the one for you… but I'm sure there are a lot of women who would like to go out with you."
John turned to face her and said, "That's just the problem Anna; there are a lot of women. But they don't want me, really,… they want one of the characters I play, or just want me because I'm famous. They go to bed with my most famous part and wake up with… me - just a grumpy old man who's not used to having a relationship.
I made so many mistakes with women… they used me and in return I used some of them. Women just offer themselves to me… they give their phone numbers, e-mail me. I took advantage. I broke too many hearts and it slowly ruined my heart as well. I don't know what true love is Anna. I can't trust my heart, nor my brain any longer. And sometimes, I hate to confess Anna, I like it that way."
Anna swallowed. The thought of him with other women made her dizzy. She knew this happened in their business, but no one ever talked about it openly.
"It makes me sad to hear you say this. I know things like that happen… but you shouldn't give up on real love John. Don't let these women blind you. If someone really knows you, that person will love you for who you are. I know, because you're wonderful," she said sadly.
"Oh Anna,…" he sighed, "You're still so innocent and vulnerable. You must know I'm struggling with my own feelings all the time... but in the end, you will hate me for my past, I'm sure." With this he stood up and walked to the other side of the fire. His hands were in his hair.
Anna was a disappointed; she couldn't deny it to herself, but he had confessed it to her; he had been honest at least. She felt for him and his struggle. She had seen him today and she was sure that was the real him; together in the cottage, loving and friendly, caring about his friends, and very funny as well. Anna was glad he was finally able to talk about what was going on in his mind and wanted to make her part of it. She was grateful for it.
After a long silence, Anna stood up and walked to John, who was still walking around and was clearly struggling with his own thoughts. Anna wanted to comfort him, ease his troubles, but couldn't confess her love to him now. He wouldn't accept it, she knew. Still, she was now standing closer to him than necessary and it made her nervous. John turned around to face her.
Before John could do or say anything, Anna placed her hand on his chest and started, "We never ask the reason of what is good. The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain and hunger, and mosquito's and silly people. Think about this John. Stop hating yourself and start thinking of all the reasons why you deserve to be loved." To be loved by me, Anna added in her thoughts.
After this speech, she excused herself and made herself ready to sleep. She knew he would give her some privacy, but she wished he would come in and make everything up with her without saying anything, but by just kissing her. She opened the window and grabbed a fairytale book out of her bag. She laid it on his pillow. She hoped he could appreciate the hint to his quote earlier this evening.
Anna didn't know what time it was when she heard John enter the room. It surprised her that she had fallen asleep so easily. John got undressed and Anna pretended to still be asleep. She was on one side, with her back to him.
She could feel he slipped into the bed. Her body glowed from head to toes. Somehow, she could feel him staring at her and she waited for what was going to happen. Anna tried to act sleeping when John softly spoke to her, "you're so smart Anna, and I can't believe it. You should see yourself lying here; a truer and more beautiful faery has never been seen."
Anna could feel his hand brushing softly through her hair. He didn't want to wake her up.
Then, when she thought she couldn't hold herself in any longer, he added a faery poem which made her eyes tear: "Soft moss a downy pillow makes, and green leaves spread a tent, where Faerie folk may rest and sleep until their night is spent. The bluebird sings a lullaby, the firefly gives a light, the twinkling stars are candles bright, Sleep, Faeries all, Good Night."
Quotes in this chapter are from:
- Ernest Hemingway, 'a moveable feast'
- Emerson
- Elizabeth T. Dillingham, "A Faery Song"