Enjoy!
Anna felt a lump in her throat. She could feel his hand in her hair, but she didn't have the courage to speak to him. She could turn around and kiss him now, but she wasn't sure if that was what he wanted. She was an emotional mess now that he was so close to her.
Anna wondered if she played her sleeping-act well enough because he lingered above her and she felt like he must feel the heat radiating from her body. She felt hot, how could he not notice? She tried to control her breathing, while listening to his. Anna tried not to shiver when the cold midnight air brushed along her bare shoulders.
After what felt like minutes, John moved back to his side of the bed. Anna didn't dare to move until she heard his breathing slow down and the beginning of a soft snore.
Trying to make as less noise as possible, she turned around.
John had let the window and curtains open and the stars and moonlight shined bright on his face. Anna studied him. He was asleep on his side, facing her. His hair was messy and there was a slight sign of growing stubble on his face. His crinkles were smoothened into soft lines. One hand was resting beside his head, under his pillow.
John was wearing a new white t-shirt and Anna could see the layer of chest hair underneath it. He probably was only wearing the shirt because of her. She imagined him without it, without stopping her own thoughts.
It was slowly getting colder in the room. The temperature outside dropped fast. Anna didn't mind and smiled to herself. She could watch him forever; feel warmth forever by just looking. She moved closer to him and pulled the sheets up to cover both their shoulders. Anna rested her head near his pillow and she fell asleep in an instant.
Anna blinked her eyes to try to wake up properly. Only a soft light fell through the window in the bedroom. She realized it was still very early, but to her surprise, she felt rested. The window was closed and she felt warm. An old grey blanket was drawn over her. She hadn't seen it before, so John must have put it over her during the night.
For a few minutes Anna lay facing him, their fingers almost touching, their breaths colliding. This was the feeling she had been looking for. It filled her heart with glowing butterflies and ripped it in pieces at the same time. He wasn't hers. When she realized this, she decided to get out of bed and start her day. She was curious about the cottage and the grounds surrounding it. Anna wrapped the grey blanket around her to stay warm. It smelled like burned wood and dust, but at the same time, it was a comforting, cozy smell.
Anna put on the kettle and walked through the small living room. She stared at some old photos. One was clearly of the Bates family. John, about the age of twelve, looked like his father and she could see his mother was very beautiful as well. It was taken in front of the cottage. His mother's arms were draped around John's neck. They were clearly very fond of each other, she could tell.
Next to one of the sofa's stood a bookcase. Anna read some titles and trailed her fingers over the old covers. Some book spines were cracked and damaged by extensive reading. One of the books was so heavily damaged, that Anna couldn't read the title. She grabbed it and found out it was an early copy of one of her favorite books, Jane Eyre. Her hands skimmed the ruined cover and she browsed through the pages. It smelled like wet autumn leaves and the blanket she was wearing. Everything in this house had a history; a family history.
Anna took the book with her and walked out the front door. She was in awe of what she saw. It was just after dawn. The sky was light blue with hints of pink and orange. At the end of the lawn she could see some fields in the distance, still covered with morning fog. Some sheep were already about, eating the wet grass, which was glistening in the sun.
Her white nightdress had half slipped off of her shoulder and she wrapped the blanket tightly around her once more. While Anna walked to the fence at the end of the lawn, some rabbits that were nibbling in the grass scurried away to hide in the bushes.
Anna took a few minutes to take everything in; the smell of leaves and the pine trees, the earthy smell coming from the puddles of water in the fields. The sun tried to warm her face, but the morning was still cold.
On the edge of the property, she leaned against the wooden fence that surrounded it. She looked out over the sloping hills. Suddenly all her worries left her and all her thoughts disappeared. She just looked and enjoyed the view.
After a while, Anna heard a sound. When she looked around, she saw John standing in the doorway. He was watching her. Their eyes locked and they smiled to each other.
John walked over to her. "Faery Faire and Faery Bright; Come and be my chosen Sprite," he said with a theatrical flair.
It was a sentence from their play, where John had to lure the faery back to him, with something nice to eat or drink, - but Anna was only thinking of being his chosen sprite.
"Good morning Anna. You forgot to take the kettle off the griddle. It made quite some noise…", he said with a grin. He was now standing close to her and copied her in leaning against the fence.
"Oh, damn,… I'm so sorry John. I totally forgot after walking out here. It's so beautiful and peaceful and… I wasn't thinking anymore," she tried to apologize, feeling her cheeks burn.
"Don't worry; it was a perfect time to get up….. and you're right, the view is dazzling", he said while looking into Anna's eyes.
They now both looked serious. "When I looked out over the lawn and I noticed you standing here,… God, Anna,… I thought I was still dreaming. I saw a faery right in front of my eyes," he told her.
First Anna didn't know what to say. Was he telling her he liked her or was he making fun of her? She didn't dare hope for the first. She looked down and the spell was broken.
"I am no faery, I am a mortal person. I can't hide away when I want to, and most important: I don't have wings," she tried to joke.
He smiled, "True, you are no butterfly or moth. You are even prettier."
After a short pause, he told her, "Come, let's go inside. I made you some breakfast and tea. After we have warmed up, we can go for a swim."
Anna looked up at John, horrified. He laughed out loud. "Well, try not to be so enthusiastic Miss Smith. I thought you loved going 'back to nature'."
Only one hour later, they all stood on the edge of a small lake. After breakfast, they had decided to enjoy every minute of the day and they had set out early for their walk. Matthew and Mary had joined them. The little hike had amazed every one of them; the nature was at its best.
John walked up onto the little pier, which held a few rowing boats. He bent down to feel the temperature of the water. Meanwhile, everyone changed his or her clothes for swimming. Anna and Mary had decided to go in knickers and old black shirts belonging to John. When John had offered them a white shirt with a cheeky grin, they had kindly refused. This, of course, had disappointed both man and they had all laughed about it.
"Well, it's bloody cold!" John warned them and laughed.
"Can't we go on one of the rowing boats instead?" Mary suggested.
Anna placed the towel and a blanket she had brought on a dry spot on the ground and walked up to John.
"Is this a good idea John?" Anna asked, and continued: "Won't we all catch a cold? What about the premiere the week after next?"
John grinned.
"Bates!" Matthew yelled to get their attention, "The first in, wins!" Both men grinned from ear to ear and Matthew started running. Anna's eyes grew big when she noticed he wasn't running right into the water, but up to Mary.
Mary screamed and laughed when she realized he was going to drag her with him into the water. Anna laughed and locked eyes with John. He had a cheeky smile on his face. In an instant, she knew he would do the same as Matthew.
"No John, NOOO…" she tried to beg him, but before she knew, he had put his arms around her and together they fell into the icy water.
All the air was pushed out of her lungs and Anna screamed into the water. Coming back up, she gasped for breath. Soon John's hands found her body and he held her steady. Both laughed now from shock. Anna slapped his shoulder. Being so close to him and in his warm arms felt too good.
Anna and Mary soon went back to their clothes, to warm up.
"Deep in their hearts they're still kids, aren't they?" Mary giggled. Together they watched the boys having fun and taking a swim.
"So, what's up with you and John now,… any progress?" Mary asked.
"He explained some things,… about himself. I think I understand, but wish it could be different", Anna answered.
"Do you mean he's gay? I always wondered why he never has any steady relationships with women; there are enough who are interested…." Mary rattled on.
Anna had to laugh very hard. "Oh Mary, you're so funny. Don't let John hear that. He's definitely not gay!"
Mary looked a bit disappointed and surprised and said "Then I don't understand. I can see he likes you,… likes you very much."
"I think he does like me, and he's starting to trust me, ….. I think…. but, I'm in love Mary. I don't know what to think any more. It's so confusing and he constantly gives me different signs" Anna responded.
"Do you want me to talk to him about it?" Mary offered.
"No, please don't. I don't want to push him. I want him to love me for who I am. I don't want to be one of these women who… well, just don't. I'll give him some time," she decided.
They stopped talking and watched how the boys ran to them with their wet bodies. Anna loved how John looked like a real man. No six-pack, but a body she could snuggle against and feel safe with. Water was dripping from his chest hair, strong arms and legs. Anna handed him a towel.
Seeing him like this made her shy. She had to suppress a smile when she realized she was thinking like a schoolgirl.
He's HOT! was the only thing on her mind.
Back at the cottage they ate some pie and started to prepare themselves for the garden party at Robert's estate.
"That's a nice dress, Anna," Matthew commented when she stepped out of the bedroom.
"Thanks! Mary helped me choose it. I hate dress codes…. and who ever came up with 'safari' as a dress code?! Must be one of Robert's crazy ideas," Anna laughed. She was wearing a white dress with different shades of light green; like some leaves were falling. Mary was wearing a black panther legging and white top. They looked classy.
John had finished dressing as well; he looked very handsome. Anna preferred him in his black shirt and suit like this.
"I expected you to wear some kind of zebra shirt, at least" Matthew joked.
"I only wear prints on very special occasions. But what you can't see, is that I'm wearing my lucky panther pants," John joked back.
Anna raised an eyebrow and she shared a smile with Mary.
After Anna had finished helping with Mary's hair, she sat on the sofa and watched John making the last arrangements for them to go. He looked happy.
"This must have been a happy place for you, in your childhood…. I saw some pictures of your family," Anna began.
"Yes, it was. It is," he said quickly. "This place made my mother the happiest woman in the world… and we had lots of fun when my father was still alive."
Anna could see it was making him sad to talk about it.
"But," he continued, "for a few years now, I have loved coming back here again. It holds so many happy memories… and the surroundings are so beautiful! The only thing I hoped for was to hear voices and laughter in here again. So, I'm glad you all agreed to come with me this weekend." John smiled sincerely.
"I can imagine….. and I'm very happy I agreed, as I am enjoying our stay very much," Anna told him, without looking him in the eyes. "I wish we could stay a bit longer," she confessed.
Now her eyes met his and she had to take a deep breath when they did. The way he looked at her was bewitching. She hadn't seen a man looking at her like that. After a few seconds, Anna started to feel hot. She didn't know if she had to laugh or cry. It was an emotion she did not know. It was as if there was a spark between them and neither of them wanted it to end. Anna could feel his eyes burning right into her soul. They both looked serious now and she knew he was feeling the same. It was scary as well as overwhelming. Anna had trouble composing herself and opened her mouth a little to breath. She saw John got distracted by the movement of her lips, but they kept gazing at each other.
"But we have another night, so don't feel sorry to leave yet…," Mary suddenly burst through the door. She then noticed the silence between Anna and John and immediately apologized; "Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting…. Stupid of me,…I wasn't thinking."
After a short silence, Mary continued, "Anyway, I think it's time to leave. Everyone is ready, and Robert won't appreciate it if we arrive late." She then immediately walked through the front door. After Matthew had followed her outside, smiling at Anna, she and John were left alone standing in the room in complete silence. It only took a few seconds and then John grabbed Anna's coat and offered it to her. She stood up from the sofa and walked shyly over to him. He held it up so she could wrap herself in it.
Slowly he placed his hand on her shoulder, softly touching her collarbone in the process.
Anna straightened her back to increase the pressure. She watched how his hand slid down her arm. It made her shiver in a pleasant way. His fingers touched her hand and he looked at her to get permission. He slid his hand in hers and led her to the car. He gave her a sweet smile.
Anna was in a daze. Everything went in slow motion and still way too fast. John was being gallant and held the car door open so she could climb in. Together they sat on the back seat, closer to each other than normal friends would find comfortable.
Mary and Matthew were chatting away in the front, but she didn't understand a word. John tried to mix in the conversation, but Anna could tell he had a hard time concentrating on the subject. Her hand was in his, resting on his lap. She wanted to talk to him; hear him say he had changed his mind. She already knew it, but needed to hear it from his mouth….and she wanted to kiss him so badly,… but not now. It wasn't possible. As if he shared her thoughts, his hand tightened around hers even more and he softly squeezed it. It was all the confirmation she needed for now.