Chapter 12

Julia is kneeling obediently before me, the cameras are rolling and today, the riding crop feels natural in my hand. It should, since we've been practicing in my dressing room with Nicole chaperoning for the last half an hour.

It was Julia that suggested we do this scene "for real." Christian isn't supposed to be using the whip hard enough to hurt, she argued, so I shouldn't have to fake the swings and then it would come out better on camera. She made me practice exactly how hard I could hit her without the crop stinging her flesh, and now as I slap it against my thigh, it swings lightly and easily.

I extend a hand to Julia and help her to her feet, flexing my bicep hard to make the most of both the gentlemanly and dominant aspects of the move.

Julia is focused entirely on me as I lead her over to where the manacles dangle from the ceiling. I order her to hold her hand out and when she complies with only the faintest trembling to her fingers, I slap her palm lightly with the whip.

"Did that hurt?" It's a question for Julia as much as Ana and when she says no, I believe both of them. I keep my expression austere, but relief unwinds from the back of my throat all the way down into the slowly warming hollow of my stomach.

We've done most of this scene already but I screwed it up with my coughing fit. Today, it already feels different. We're totally wrapped up in each other and more than once, I have to remind myself of the correct blocking positions for the scene.

Julia's eyes keep catching mine, their tide-washed hue swimming with desire but spiked with fear. They make it easy to forget the audience of our co-workers.

I take her wrist to raise it to the cuff, and she resists. Our eyes lock and a snippet of Lucy's speech about this moment replays in my head.

Love is always a risk. The power of Ana's character is that she knows that the only way to face that risk and triumph is to surrender entirely to it.

Julia's muscles relax and she lets me pull her arm high over her head, securing it with a wide leather cuff. She watches me the whole time, submitting completely to me spreading her legs and locking them apart with cuffs. When I'm done, she stands spread-eagled in only a pair of tiny black panties and from the look on her face, you'd think we were alone.

I reclaim the riding crop and her breath catches audibly at the sight. My eyes flash with excitement as I trail it over her skin.

I give her my best smoldering look. MTV gave me an award for this look, which is fucking stupid. An award for a particular expression? Seriously? But right now I'm quite happy to use it to stall.

My gaze scorches from her toes up her legs. I don't really register any of her lovely body because hints of panic are starting to pulse through my veins, fluttering uneasily in my chest and dropping cold into my toes.

I'm supposed to use the riding crop on her breasts to start.

I lock eyes with her. Beneath everything that belongs to Ana, I recognize Julia and my jaw relaxes. Our chemistry sizzles, but there is safety there too.

This moment doesn't have a thing to do with our characters. I wonder if the camera will know the difference.

"There are many kinds of sensations you can evoke with a whip," I tell us both. "Most of them aren't pain."

I flick the loop of leather lightly at the underside of her breast and she gasps, but somehow I know the fear in her quivering lips isn't the truth. I smile wickedly to cover my relief.

This time, the scene doesn't feel ominous or cruel. It seethes with sex, but for once I'm not aroused.

I brush the crop down the curve of her waist, and slap it lightly against her thigh. I glide around behind her and angle my shoulders so that it will appear that I'm very close, while still leaving room for the camera to zoom in on the next shot.

With the knuckles of my free hand, I trace the graceful curve of her spine and Julia makes a breathy little sound that I'm certain just put some steel in the pants of half the men in this room.

Fortunately, that's not as many men as usual because I forced Lucy to dismiss everyone from the set who isn't absolutely essential to this scene.

I move Julia's braid to the side and rest a kiss on the nape of her neck. It wasn't in the blocking, but I think it will play well. She tilts her head back and her cheek grazes my temple. It's a perfect opportunity to juxtaposition Christian's hatred of being touched with Ana's affectionate nature, so I flinch away.

Lucy's going to give me a raise.

I bring the crop up so that it contacts the back of Julia's leg, just below the lacy hem of her panties. She jolts, but it looks like more surprise than pain. Christian is supposed to be whipping Ana between the legs, but I absolutely refuse to touch even Julia's ass with this crop. That didn't make her or Lucy particularly pleased, because it is going to be pretty hard to sell it to the camera when I am only touching her thighs and stomach, but I don't care. There are things people shouldn't have to do for a job, willing or not.

I drag the crop across Julia's skin as I stalk around her, the camera following me like a trained dog.

When our eyes meet this time, hers are hazed with pleasure and I don't release her gaze as I strike precisely across her lower belly. She catches her breath and her head falls back. Her whole body stiffens and I try to make my eyes glow with excitement instead of envy at her acting.

She is amazing at faking orgasms. She doesn't oversell it, somehow makes it subtle but totally unmistakable. If she had a boyfriend, he'd have an anxiety disorder for sure after watching this scene. There's no way to tell if she's really enjoying herself or not, and what a mood killer that would be.

The climax of the love story is up next, in the moment after her orgasm. I trace the whip from her belly button to her throat, tipping her chin up for a long, dangling moment. Then I drop the whip and take her face in both hands as I kiss her, all control evaporating into bare urgency, my fingers curling hard into her hair as she strains against her bonds to get even closer.

"Cut!" Lucy yells.

What the fuck? That was incredible. She should be worshipping the two of us right now.

"David, you're doing an amazing job, but Julia, I need a little more from you. This scene is absolutely pivotal," Lucy complains, her forehead twisted with frustration.

Nicole sneaks in between us and drapes Julia with a big, billowy piece of fabric. Julia looks surprised and I smile at Nicole, who blushes and backs off to stand awkwardly a couple steps away.

"The whole point is that you aren't held back by being tied," Lucy lectures, ignoring me completely. "This is the only time Christian feels safe enough to express the depth of his feeling, because Ana is tied and helpless. But we want you to convey that Ana is in no way held back by her physical vulnerability. She's absolutely free, and her love for him is so powerful in that submission!" Lucy gestures emphatically, her face pinched. "If we can't pull that off, we might as well bag the whole film, because without that emotion, this is nothing but a porno."

I quirk an eyebrow at Julia, who looks pissed.

"I'm trussed hand and foot, and my face is kind of busy," she snaps. "Help me out here."

I try to smooth my half-amused wince. Julia is always so accommodating, but Lucy must have really hit the hot button with that porno comment.

"We need to see that you don't need to touch him to love him," Lucy says, pacing faster.

"Screen kisses are all about hand placement," I protest. "Julia's right."

It's one of the little tricks that we use to make what happens on the silver screen seem so much more vivid than real life. There are only so many ways to push two mouths together, but on camera we can make a kiss worth a thousand scripts. It's all in the hands.

Lucy slaps her hands onto her hips. She's so furious that she's actually silent for a change.

"Okay," I say diplomatically. "What if when we do the pull-back-and-stare-into-each-other's-eyes thing you focus on Julia's face? She can do just a hint of a smile, with triumph and dawning joy. Maybe just a little bit shy."

"Jesus, David, I can't write a dissertation here," Julia protests.

"I've seen you write an encyclopedia with those eyes," I tease. "Don't tell me you can't."

"I do try to avoid the King Kong style of acting," she admits, her mouth softening into half a smirk. "But I don't know if I'm quite up to Eye-kipedia levels."

"Wait, you try not to look like a hairy monkey?" I laugh, but have to check myself to keep my eyes from dipping down from her face. "I think you're doing okay."

"No, have you seen the newest King Kong movie?" she asks incredulously, as if we're bullshitting at a bar instead of chatting while she's handcuffed and only wearing a scarf. "You know, where that actress just stares with big blank eyes at the camera in every single take?"

Julia widens her eyes, tilting her head and staring dumbly at me.

"What are you talking about? That's my whole career!" I joke, giving her the blank googly look right back, then polishing it off with an exaggerated bout of eyelash batting. Julia explodes, laughing so hard that she begins to swing a little from her manacles.

"Easy there," I chuckle, steadying her. "Bondage and laughing fits aren't meant to go together. Too easy to lose your balance."

Lucy's tapping her foot impatiently, arms crossed. "Are you two finished?"

Julia tries to press the smile off of her lips with only partial success. "Yeah, I've got it, Lucy. Just zoom the camera out a little and I'll play all-powerful sub for you," she says, sarcasm lurking not far underneath her amiable tone.

I hide a wince. Something tells me Julia isn't going to be eager to work for Lucy again after this.

We do three more takes, even though I feel like Julia nailed it in the first shot. I'm pretty sure Lucy's just being petty.

When Lucy finally calls the wrap, Julia grins at me and I feel a crazy rush of pride like I haven't felt in years. The scene is in the can, and I know no one could have done it better than us.

Nicole's already coming forward to help Julia out of the manacles, but I beat her to it, kneeling to free Julia's ankles. I'm running at half-mast from her bare breasts rubbing against my chest during that heavily posed stage kiss, so I'm careful to stand as far back as I can when I reach up to unbuckle the cuffs around her wrists. Her hands are freezing cold.

"Still got any circulation left in your hands?" I ask, concerned.

Julia rolls her shoulders stiffly and pulls on the robe Nicole hands her. "Barely. I didn't realize how long I'd been up there."

"Here, let me," I tell her, moving behind her to drop my hands onto her shoulders, rolling my thumbs into the tight muscles there.

She winces. "Ooh, yeah. I am sore."

I lighten up on the pressure and patiently massage her shoulders until I feel the muscles loosen, crew members bustling all around us to set the next scene.

"Full-service co-star," Julia comments when I finish and step away. She smiles. "I like it. Thank you."

"Least I can do," I tell her, looking at my prop watch. I should have at least twenty minutes before the next round and I want to check my phone, but I left it in my dressing room. I stride off set, blinking after I pass the light array to re-adjust my eyes.

"Hey, you," a familiar voice says.

I break into a grin and turn to see Sophie standing just behind the lighting personnel, her head cocked to one side so her hair pours over one slender shoulder, a teasing smile playing around the edges of her lips. I sweep her up and swing her around once, still riding the high of finally nailing a scene, my hands solid and comfortable on her small waist.

"Hey gorgeous." I greet her, my voice a little husky as my hands melt from her waist to the small of her back, coaxing her closer until I can dip my head and kiss her slow and deep, heedless of my stage makeup. When I finally relinquish her mouth, she's a little breathless.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work?" I ask, noticing about halfway through the sentence that she's not wearing her own clothes and her face still holds the traces of makeup designed for industrial strength lights and filters.

"I wasn't needed for a three-scene block, so I begged off for an hour. I'm almost out of time, but I'm glad I caught you before I had to go again," she says, offering a smile. Her fingers play casually down my wrist before her hand sneaks itself inside of mine. I squeeze it gently, laying my thumb protectively across her knuckles.

"How long have you been here?" It occurs to me to ask, a hint of trepidation tainting my good mood. Sophie's used to seeing me stage-kiss other women, but a mostly nude bondage scene might be enough to rattle even her supremely professional composure. Maybe I should have skipped the post-filming shoulder rub.

"For most of the takes, I think." She pauses, her eyes intent on my face as she drops her voice a notch. "It's intense. How are you doing?"

"Fine, actually," I tell her honestly. "Did you get your present?"

Her concentration breaks on a lovely smile and she rolls her eyes with a self-deprecating chuckle. "Yes. I'm way spun out on sugar and caffeine right now. I can barely hold it together." She lifts up onto her toes to kiss my cheek. "You're too sweet. I loved the flowers, too, although I had to call your mom to decode them for me."

"Great, you probably just won me a million points from her on that one. I'll be set on Mother's Day gifts for a couple of years."

Sophie laughs. "Yeah, she might have gotten a little teary."

"That's just because she's happy that you called her."

"Does she still ask you if you've gotten a ring on my finger yet?"

"Every. Single. Time." I roll my eyes. "I swear, if I ever propose, I'm going to keep it a secret until she asks just so I can hear her freak out."

"I don't know, you might damage your hearing with that reaction," Sophie says dryly. "I'd reconsider if I were you."

"Aren't you going to introduce me?" Julia's voice asks from behind me. I step out of the way and she extends a hand with a smile. "You must be the infamous Sophie."

Sophie's hand slips from mine as she reaches out to Julia in return. "My agent tells me that 'infamous' is to be avoided," she says, making a face. "Which has really put a damper on my deep and abiding love of drinking and driving. Also Ecstasy and impromptu pole dancing."

Julia giggles. "Maybe I should switch agents. Before I landed my HBO series, my agent actually suggested a drunken weekend including table dancing and maybe an 'accidental' nip slip. For cheap publicity, you know."

"Cheap being the operative word," Sophie deadpans.

"Ooh," I wince. "Tell me that story isn't true."

"Wish that I could," Julia says ruefully.

"Eww," I sympathize. "I'd sic Sophie's publicist on him if I were you. She'd beat some ethics into that guy for sure."

"I don't know what you have against Barbara," Sophie protests. "She's sweet."

"She's sweet the way a mama bear is sweet. All soft and furry until you touch her cub and then suddenly your fingers and toes aren't adding up to even numbers anymore."

"That's what you should do for your next fundraiser," Julia suggests. "Cage matches between actors' support staff. There's a scripty on my show who would leave some blood on the floor for sure."

Sophie laughs. "That's perfect. David, I think she's got something there."

"I don't know. My last interviewer seemed to think that supporting non-violent charities with violent fundraisers was some kind of faux pas."

"I watched that interview," Julia protests. "She was such a bitch. I think it just made you come off even nicer, though."

"A wounded wolverine would have looked nice next to that shark. As soon as I walked into the interview and saw the shoes, I knew it was all over." I shake my head.

"Pointy toes?" Sophie asks knowingly.

"Sharp enough to puncture."

Sophie shudders in sympathy.

"Yeah, I'm thinking about catching something really contagious right before the publicity tour," I say with a sideways glance at Julia. "You look better on camera anyway."

She crosses her arms and pouts. "Chicken."

"Interviews always make me look like I'm on amphetamines," I complain.

"You should make them go jogging with you, like the President does," Sophie suggests. "You could get a sexy little sweat going, and work off enough energy that you wouldn't fidget. Win win."

"Come on, Soph, you've gone running with me before," I remind her dryly. "So you know that unless they send a cripple for an interviewer, whoever it is will smoke me and I'll look like a candy ass."

Julia cracks up laughing, but Sophie rolls her eyes at me. "So not true." She bumps me playfully with her hip. "Hey, at least if you're jogging, you know they can't send you a pointy-toed interviewer."

"True enough."

Sophie checks her phone for the time and gives me an apologetic look. "I've got to go. I'm due back in fifteen."

I frown. "So soon?" I sling an arm around her shoulder and pull her into my side, enjoying the familiar, velvety scent of her lotion.

She hugs me around the waist, but pulls away before I'm ready to let her go. "They need me to make my overgrown frat boy of a co-star look loveable. I don't want to break it to them, but nobody is that good of an actress."

"I'm glad I got to meet you," Julia offers, her eyes warm. "David's such a gentleman. You're very lucky."

Sophie smiles, but her nose doesn't crinkle up like it does when it is a genuine smile. "I know."

"You be sure to take good care of him," Julia adds, her British accent slightly more pronounced than usual.

Sophie meets her eyes squarely. "I could say the same to you."

There's a pause, and I shift my weight and slide my hands into my pockets, scrambling for something disarming to say.

Before I can speak, Sophie smiles again, her nose perfectly smooth. "I'll see you at the premiere."

Julia nods once. "Of course."

Sophie's eyes flick to mine and her head tilts in our cocktail-party signal for 'Are you okay?'

I nod and smile reassuringly and her face softens. She checks her watch again, then tosses us a little wave, walking backwards for a couple steps before she turns and heads for the door.

"She seems very nice," Julia says. "Hey, I'm going to grab a quick snack before we start up again." She flashes a bright smile at me. "I hate bondage on an empty stomach."

I nod and steal a glance at Sophie's retreating form. She has a great ass. Would have been perfect for that spanking scene.

It isn't until Julia's gone that I realize she didn't head in the right direction for the Craft Services buffet.