A/N

So I reread this story and the reviews and I re wrote it, added some things, changed some around. Like it? Review

"Later Darry!" Soda calls as he and Steve jump out of the truck at the DX. I smiled some before driving away towards the house I'm working at today. It's funny to think how I'm just twenty and have lost my entire life, don't get me wrong. I'm glad I gave it up for Soda and Ponyboy, but still there are some days when I wonder how different it would be if mom and dad never died. None of us could see the future, it was just supposed a simple dinner date, a day away from the three of us. I was just supposed to watch them for a few hours then hand them over to mom and dad, then go out and have a good time, enjoying the rest of my Friday. But nothing good can last, ever.

I was so close to getting a scholarship to college for football. It wouldn't have covered all the cost but with the money I had been saving up I would've made it through. Mom and dad, they would have helped me pay for it and although they won't admit it I knew Soda and Ponyboy were saving up money for my college. All four of them knew I could go to college, they all wanted me to go. Now, I don't know if I'm going to college at all, it's not worth saving up all that money to go to college when I'm twenty five. At least I don't think it is. Pony says it'd be worth it, I'd get an education, get a better job and leave Tulsa.

Soda and Pony have it through their heads that as soon as Pony's in college I'm going to go also. They don't realize that I've put my entire college fund into Pony's, if any greaser is going somewhere in life it's Pony. He's got the smarts to get a scholarship and leave Tulsa. He can do anything he wants in life. Be anyone, leave the life as the kid whose family's screwed up.

Me? Well I'm fine with the fact I'm going to be stuck here forever, but I'm not fine with my brothers being here. Soda may say he's dumb and can't pass school, the only reason I was fine with him dropping out is because one of these days he is going to realize that's the biggest mistake he has ever made. Right now all he thinks about is Sandy, says he is in love with her.

Soda and Ponyboy, they act like I know nothing about girls; I used to have a girlfriend that I thought I was in love with. She graduated and since she was middle class went right onto college without even saying goodbye. I don't want Soda to get too attached to someone that will likely leave him someday. Sandy, she's nice but, no nice girl sticks around for long. Someday she's going to screw up big, I know it. And Soda, he's going to be left heart broken. If I ever try to talk to him about it he'll just wave me off, saying I don't know what I'm talking about.

Ponyboy and I, we've been getting into more fight then ever at the stupidest things. I wouldn't be surprised if he thinks I hate home, but I don't. Not ever could I hate any of my brothers, they're all the family I really have left now. Aside from our extended family which we never see, they all felt the need to leave Tulsa. I could never leave this place even if I wanted to, but all when I was younger I would talk about growing up, leaving Tulsa and never coming back. But that was the past before my parents died; now I couldn't think of leaving Tulsa. It has too many memories, some good some bad.

Here I am twenty and already working full time to provide for my brothers, sure I got Soda but I don't let him give me his paycheck even though he insists. He forces me to take half of it everytime he gets it, at least three times a month. It makes the bills easier to handle, but it makes me feel guilty like I'm taking from him. Hell, it's bad enough that Two-Bit sneak's food over here from his house. I don't think his mom minds but still it feels like we are taking charity. And with the state always checking in on us making sure we don't do anything illegal and I'm not beating them.

It's not fair that the socs don't have to worry about stuff like this, they never have to worry if there will be food on the table or if their family is going to be separated. I have to worry about all these things and at the same time be there for Soda and Ponyboy. It's been a tough few months and we've been trying to make it through, but still. There is always a part of me saying I can't do it and I'm raising them wrong. A part of me knowing mom and dad are both disappointed with me, disappointed with how I've been raising them. They both must think I am not fit to be Soda and Pony's guardian. I'm only twenty, barely and adult. But I have to raise them. I have to for mom and dad. They would have wanted us to stay a family. I just know it.

I stopped debating with myself as I pulled up to the house I'm working at today, everyone else was already there. "Curtis, you're late." My boss called as I got out of the truck. "Sorry, I had to drop my little brother and his friend off at work." The boss just nodded and pointed to the house. He gets my problem and doesn't take away from my paycheck if I'm late since I work the hardest out of everyone. I try more than the other workers, getting two bundles of roofing. Trying to get the best out of my job. I needed this job to keep my brothers alive.

I walked over to the pile of roofing and grabbed one bundle and headed over to the ladder, I didn't exactly want to take two up at a time today since yesterday I pulled a muscle. Some Co-workers said hello to me as I made my way up the ladder. Most of the people I work with are middle class, only a few greasers and one socs. The guys I work with are all older than me, I'm pretty sure some of them pity me but I don't need it. It's hard enough knowing all my friends pity Soda, Pony and I. Hell, even Dallas feels bad for us, that's a lot coming from him.

One the roof I walked over to an area where no one was and started to nail the pieces down. This is the best job I could have gotten here, without going to college of course. Tulsa has some pretty good paying jobs but the people who went to college get those, just Paul. My old 'Best Friend', I doubt he ever even was a friend. Just someone to play football with and hang out with at school and on the weekends. He still lives in Tulsa and every time I see him it reminds me of the days when we buddied around in high school. Went on double dates with our girls, he still got his girl. Paul,he shows up to rumbles, jumps greasers, just a social one hundred percent.

I'm not even supposed to be a greaser, neither are any of my friends, they may not know it but they're too smart to be greasers, we all are. Steve, he has car smarts, it may be a good quality for a greaser but he could make a living off of it. Dallas, though it may not seem like it all the time he had good people skills, getting people to do what he wants. Ponyboy, hell everything about him is good. Soda, he's like Dallas, good people skills. Two-Bit, he can fight and swipe anything, that'd be good for some sort of government job or something. And Johnny, well Johnny's a fighter. He could fight for what he wanted, needed. And I, well I got some smarts, but really I'm a good fighter, hard worker.

All I know is that my life has been taken away from me by that stupid drunk driver. One damned idiots mistake ruined my life, Soda's life and Ponyboy's life. Tore us apart while at the same time brought us together. And now all I can do is think while I work on one more roof.