A/N: Hello, all you Internet people! DarkScizor here. Nothing much to say this time, so...here's Chapter 3 of Super Mario Bros: Director's Cut!
Super Mario Bros: Director's Cut
Chapter 3: Watch Out For That Tree!
Location: World 1-3
Mario stepped out into the sun, breathing in the fresh, 8-bit air and taking in the sight of the trees around him. He was so happy to be out of World 1-2 that he hardly noticed Luigi groaning in pain behind him, mumbling something about his shattered bones or something like that. Anyway, our obese hero ran forward, feeling the wind blow through his hair.
He didn't notice that they were 200 feet off of the ground.
Luigi rubbed his arm some more before noticing that his brother was about to plummet to his death. Luigi screamed, "MARIO! STOP!"
Mario (amazingly) listened to his younger brother and stopped just before he ran off the side of the cliff. "Aw, why'd you tell me to stop, Luigi? I was just about to break my speed record!"
Luigi painfully got up and walked over to where his brother stood, then pointed down. Mario looked where his brother was pointing – and saw that if he had taken one more step, he would have fallen off the edge. The red-capped plumber turned towards Luigi and said, "Wow...so...thanks...I guess."
Luigi closed his eyes and leaned back, the pain in his arm receding to a dull throb in the light of Mario's praise. Crisis averted, he thought to himself. He opened his eyes to see that his older brother was no longer there. His calm demeanor instantly dissolved into panic when he saw where his brother was – on top of a tree. "MARIO! GET DOWN FROM THERE!"
Mario laughed and jumped onto the next tree, grabbing a few coins and cutting a Red Koopa Troopa's life tragically short. "Come on, Luigi! You'll love it over here!"
Luigi screamed, "ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE? YOU'RE STANDING ON THE LEAVES OF A 200 FOOT TALL TREE! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW UNSTABLE THAT THING MUST BE? IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF, THEN FINE, BUT KINDLY LEAVE ME OUT OF IT! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NO WAY THAT I'M JOINING YOU!"
5 minutes later...
"So, enjoying yourself, Luigi?" Mario said as they leaped through the trees.
Luigi just glared at him.
Location: World 5-1
World 5-1 was sort of a cold place. Not freezing cold, just chilly. So it was no surprise that the two Koopa Paratroopas walking next to each other were wearing thick scarves around their necks.
The Paratroopa on the left turned to his companion. "So, Parakarl, what are you doing this Saturday?"
The Paratroopa on the right – Parakarl – said, "Not much, Parakramden. I do have to go to the store and pick up some shell wax, but, other than that, I'm totally free."
"In that case, do you want to go play some Wave Race 64 with me on Saturday?"
"Sure, Parakramden! I'd love t-" At that moment, Parakarl was quite rudely cut off by the person behind them.
"Alright, Koopa scum, you've got about five seconds before I kill both of you. So, if you want to keep on living, I suggest you come with me," he said, darkly.
Parakramden looked confused for a moment. "Uh, what's going on?"
The man sighed. He would have to do this the hard way, then. In one movement, he unsheathed his katana, lunged at the two Paratroopas, and sliced their heads off. After taking a moment to clean the Koopa blood off of his sword, he stepped over their corpses and walked on.
Location: World 1-3
Mario hit the block floating above him, releasing a Fire Flower. He was about to use it, releasing all of the flower's...fiery-ness, before Luigi stopped him. "Mario, I'd recommend saving that thing for later. Who knows when we might need it?"
Letting out a resigned sigh, Mario put the Fire Flower in his pocket and continued on, followed by a smug Luigi. Mario had listened to him twice in a row! That had to be some kind of record! Anyway, the two brothers continued their quest. They jumped over to the next tree, then the next one. The entire time, Mario had an expression of deep contemplation on his face. Well, deep for him, anyway.
Luigi jumped up, coming down hard on a Red Paratroopa, then rebounding onto a Goomba. After removing the squishy Goomba bits stuck on his shoes, he jumped forward again onto one of the elevator things from the last world. He landed safely on the platform. The green-capped plumber was about to do another Kirby Dance when he noticed something.
He was falling to his death. Apparently, floating girders aren't very stable.
Luigi screamed into the wind like a 5-year-old girl. His life flashed before his eyes. That time Mario stole his lunch money...That time Mario stole his prom date...That time Mario stole his wallet...
Maybe dying wasn't such a bad thing, after all.
Luigi closed his eyes, waiting for the sweet, sweet embrace of death...
...when something grabbed his hand. Surprised, Luigi looked up.
It was Mario.
Luigi was in absolute shock. This was the man who sold Luigi's clothes on eBay! This was the man who threw Luigi's plushie collection into a wood chipper! Why would he suddenly be helping him? Luigi knew something was up; Mario never helped him unless it was convenient. What could he possibly-
Luigi's hand went to his pocket. The Enclosed Instruction Book. Of course. Mario only saved him because he needed the book. Luigi facepalmed with his free hand. Of all the people he could be directly related to, it had to be this guy.
After they reached safe, not-likely-to-kill-them ground, Luigi let go of Mario's hand. He looked up at his brother and saw that he was smirking. Luigi wondered why as he got to his feet. He dusted off his overalls...
...and saw that they were green.
Panicked, Luigi pulled his hat off of his head. It was snow white. So was his shirt. Luigi had become Fire Luigi.
"Wh-what? How could...why...what is this...I don't even..." Luigi looked over at his obese brother again. Mario was still smirking. Luigi's eyes grew wide as he realized what had happened – when Mario saved him, he had the Fire Flower in his hand. When Luigi grabbed Mario's hand, he must have gripped hard enough to activate it. Luigi glared at his brother. "YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST WASTED OUR FIRE FLOWER!"
Mario finally spoke. "I didn't waste it. You did."
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"
"Because, Luigi, you need to have some fun once in a while. I mean, all you ever do is read books and watch anime. You've never played a sport, you've never gone hang gliding, you've never gone on a joyride. Luigi, it's time you had some fun."
Tearing up, Luigi said, "So you didn't save me just because you need The Enclosed Instruction Book?"
"Um..."
Luigi facepalmed again. "Oh, well. Might as well get this over with." With that, Luigi launched a fireball at the neared Koopa Paratroopa. The flying turtle burst into flames, screaming something along the lines of "OH SWEET ELDSTAR WHY?" before dropping like a rock.
Luigi stared at the spot where the Paratroopa once was. Mario turned to his younger brother. "See? Fun, right?"
A big stupid grin broke out on Luigi's face. This actually was fun! Luigi ran forward, shooting fireballs every which way (I don't think anybody says that anymore, but whatever), with Mario close behind. Each fireball exploded upon impact, utterly annihilating whatever it hit. Luigi laughed out loud as he shot even more fireballs.
Luigi jumped off of the last tree, landing on a cliff. Another impact a few feet away told him that Mario had done the same. Luigi turned to his big brother. "Mario, thanks for giving me the Fire Flower. Seriously, this is the most fun I've ever had in my life!"
Mario didn't respond. He just looked back at the trees. "Uh, bro..."
"What?" Luigi looked over where Mario was looking. "Oh..."
Every single tree had caught on fire. From inside, the brothers could hear piercing screams as the Goombas and Koopas burned to death. A thick cloud of smoke rose from the carnage, carrying the smell of burnt flesh with it.
Luigi stared in shock. Because of his recklessness, he had utterly destroyed World 1-3. People were dying horribly, and it was all his fault.
Mario broke the silence. "So...that happened." Turning away from his brother, Mario jumped and grabbed the flagpole. It was then that he saw a giant castle looming above them. This was their goal. This was Bowser's castle.
Mario turned his hat backwards, just like Ash did back when Pokemon was still good.
This plumber meant business.
A/N: So, that's Chapter 3, everybody! Hope ya liked it!
No flames, or Luigi will inadvertently burn your house down. Seriously, he really should have know better than to just randomly shoot fireballs on top of a tree. For somebody as smart as he is, he can be pretty stupid sometimes.