I placed my hand on the door knob. Before I turned it I looked back to Jules, Spike and Ed- all of whom had my back. This was my negotiation.
Why on earth did Parker tell me to do this one? It was essentially because of him that I'm here, doing this.
On the back patio, Megan rolled out her yoga mat and started stretching. Since her induction into the SRU Rover Crew, and with her Police Foundations course load, she hadn't had too much time to herself lately. If she wasn't at school, or working on an assignment or report for class, she was either volunteering down at the SRU station, or at the shooting range practicing her shooting and tactical drills with either her Dad or Spike.
Using her arms to support her, she curled up her back to stretch out her spine, as she took a careful breath.
Even though she was stretching, and trying to get her mind off of the stresses, a few of them crept back into her mind.
I hope the SRU station passes the yearly inspection, because his year, if it fails, the onus is on the Rover Crew. We cleaned the floors, ceilings and windows. We carefully inspected and performed preventative maintenance on all the SRU equipment for all the teams- even Team 11- a relatively new team that is from the Vancouver Police Service that is going to go back and start their own SRU department.
Well, that's a good thing, I suppose. If I don't get into TPS SRU, there's always VPS SRU.
Do I want to go into the Strategic Response Unit? I mean, it's cool and all, but now I'm seeing the stresses that mom and dad go through every day. How do they keep themselves together?
Ok, stop thinking. Let it all out- need to relax.
I sat down on the bench in the gym, exhausted. We had started today at noon, and Ed was adamant about drilling our entry to a Guns & Gangs bust that was going down in a week, about 10 times.
That was until 1400, and then the Commander came to do our weigh-in. Nothing abnormal.
It was only until after the weigh-in did we all start to feel exhausted and tired.
"C'mon Perra, give me 50." Ed said from where he sat across from me.
"50 what?" I asked, "Slaps? Seriously, did we have to drill that entry ten times?"
Jules came over and passed me a water bottle, as she sat down beside me and started drinking from hers.
Greg came out of his office and saw the three of us just sitting there, nearly dozing off.
"Seriously, guys, at least look alive." Greg said, as he went down the hallway to the copier room.
I unscrewed the cap off of my water bottle, and thought about Greg's words.
Without giving it much thought, I inverted the bottle above my head and let the freezing cold water rush down my head, through my hair, and down my back, which brought me back from dozing off.
"You got me all wet." Jules said, as she got up from laying down on the bench.
"Where's Spike?" I asked.
"Team 11 got asking about bombs, so he's in the debriefing room." Ed said, as if my water show didn't faze him.
Greg walked back down the hall, and saw us again, looking like we're about to fall asleep.
"This is pathetic guys," Greg said, "I could call in the Rover Crew and run them through the drills we just did and they'd be still going. Is that what you want? I expect better from you guys."
"Believe me," I said, "Megan could not do the drills we did."
"Yeah, Sarge, I'm with Perra on this one." Jules said, "I had to wake Megan up the other day, because she was going to be late for school."
"She's been working hard." I commented.
"What's going on?" Spike said, as he walked out of the debriefing room and sat beside me.
"What's going on, is that 3 of the four members of my team look like they could use a Red Bull." Greg told Spike.
"That stuff gives you wings." Spike joked.
"Yipee." I said sarcastically.
"And 3 out of four dentists recommend Oral-B." Spike joked again.
"Spike," Jules said, as she leaned her head on my shoulders, "When I get the energy, remind me to hit you."
Spike laughed, as his phone vibrated for a call.
"Hello? Yeah- Sam? Yeah, what's going on?" Spike said.
Suddenly, it's like we all got the surge of energy to listen to Spike's call.
"Sam- you still there?" Spike said, "He's gone."
"What did he want Spike?" Greg asked.
"He said, 'I wanted to hear your voice one last time.' "
"Boss, " Jules said, "does that sound like what I think it sounds like?"
Greg looked concerned.
"Let's not wait for tomorrow's paper. Team One, suit up. Winnie- Team One is out on a call."
"For?" Winnie asked.
"Suicide intervention."
Megan finished her yoga stretches. After changing into her bathing suit, she jumped into the pool and started to do a relay test- timing how long it would take her to swim from either side of the Olympic sized pool in the backyard.
The water felt nice on her bare skin, as the sun was out in full force this weekend. Her mind wanted to think about a huge project due for her Provincial Offenses course, but it wandered onto other things.
Mom thinks she's pregnant. Is that a good thing? Yeah, I suppose it's good for mom and dad, but what about me? Where do I fit in to this plan? There's no extra bedroom in the house. Would we move? Would mom and dad expect me to move out? No- I wouldn't think so…
But what about dad- does he really want another child? He takes really good care of me, and when he was considered Matthew's father, he was good with him too. Something makes me think he doesn't want another kid.
And what would I do with another sibling? Yeah, ok, it'd be either my step brother or sister, but I'd still consider them family.
Whoa- if mom gives birth in 9 months, that'll bring us to next June. June 2013 then, would be the birthdate of my future sibling. That would mean that when it turns 18, I'll be….oh my god! I'll be 36! That would be so awkward- especially if I'm living at home when the baby comes home. What- I'll be in my early twenties and already expected to look after a baby- a baby that isn't my own, but from my dad's 2nd marriage?
Do I want kids? I don't know. Maybe- if I met the right guy, I would. Well, I want to be a cop, right? Should I put my career on hold just to start a family? No- I'm working hard to get myself into this, so why should I stop just to fold into the lesser urges of my biological nature to start a family? God- this is frustrating…
We arrived at Sam's last known address.
"We sure he hasn't moved?" I asked.
"I'll look into his military records." Spike said, as he worked away on the computer in the command truck.
Ed came into the truck behind me. From the cab of the truck, Jules and Greg entered the rear.
"Should we recon?" Ed asked, "Spike, when was the last time you were here?"
"Uh, about 6 months ago," Spike replied, "He's a private guy. You should know Jules."
Jules hit Spike's arm, which caused him to misspell Sam's last name on the computer as 'Braddoxsk'.
"What was that for?" Spike said.
"From this afternoon."
"Alright Spike," Ed asked, "Do you think you could draw us a map?"
"I can do you one better Ed." Spike replied, "Building schematics."
"Alright" Ed said, as he looked over them, "Based on the address, this is Sam's apartment here?"
"Yes sir."
"Alright, here's what I'm thinking boss- Perra, me and Jules stacked up behind Spike- Spike talks Sam down." Ed suggested.
"I don't know how he's going to react to talking to one of his friends, Ed," Greg said, "What about Perra as the lead negotiator?"
"Boss, I-" I started.
"I'll be in your ear the whole time." Greg assured me.
"Alright." Ed said, "Jules, Spike, let's stack it up, and cover Perra. Let's stop Sam from wanting to kill himself."
We met the building owner at the front door, he allowed us access.
As we started up the stairs, to Sam's bachelor pad, Greg radioed me.
"I don't know what may have caused this Perra, but we have to assume it has something to do with his military ties. Maybe he's thinking back to the time that he accidentally killed his best friend in the field, or he's thinking about how his father pushed him towards a military career for his entire life, but we can't be certain. All we know for sure is that there is nothing simple about what he's going through. He may be suffering from Post-Partum Depression after leaving SRU, or maybe it's PTSD from his previous tours overseas. Just remember- connect, respect, protect."
"I got it boss." I replied, as we got to Sam's front door.
I saw Spike glancing at the lock with confusion, as he chose two lock picks.
"It's a single pin exterior, Spike. You'll need a flat rod." I explained.
After telling Spike what tools to use, it didn't take him long to unlock the door.
"Sam?" I yelled in, "It's Kristopher Perrasmith. You remember me? You called me Perra, remember?"
"Go away." Came Sam's muffled voice.
"Bedroom." Spike said, as he nodded towards a small hallway.
I entered, and looked around the foyer. In the middle of the floor was a military deployment bag that was half packed, with the rest of its belongings strewn about the floor.
Then my eyes went to the living room to the kitchen, thanks to the open-concept design.
"Scotch, beer, wine, and…what's that?" I asked Spike, as I pointed to a larger glass bottle.
"Rye." Spike replied, "They're all empty too."
"Get out of here!" came Sam's muffled voice again.
Slowly and quietly, we approached the bedroom door.
I placed my hand on the door knob. Before I turned it I looked back to Jules, Spike and Ed- all of whom had my back. This was my negotiation.
"Sam- it's Perra." I said, "I want to help you. I can tell you're going through some nasty stuff man. I'm going to open the door so we can talk better."
Then I opened the door.
I really wish I hadn't.
A stench filed out stronger than anything else I have ever smelt. I peered in and saw dirty, filthy clothes all over the bed. Over at the desk, there were more empty alcohol bottles, more worrisome than the others- rum, tequila, vodka, and assorted wine coolers. The wall mounted LCD TV had a deep crack down the middle of it. I looked down, and I saw the single shoe that was most likely thrown at it.
Propped up against the end board of his bed, was Sam. He wore a simple pair of boxers that smelt like they hadn't come off of him in two weeks. On his white shirt, were the stains of alcohol and stomach contents.
"What did I do to deserve this?" Sam asked in a drunken stupor, as he waved around a handgun.
After drying herself off, Megan went back inside the house.
Mom and dad must really trust me to leave me alone here, all by myself.
Well, I'm almost 18, they pretty much have to trust me.
But then again, it's not like I'm going to have a house party, anyways.
I could do anything really.
There's beer and alcohol in the garage. I have my own car, so I could go for a ride. I could take my mom's Jeep for a joy-ride, since they took dad's new truck to work, and the fact that I know where exactly the keys to the Jeep are.
I also know the combination to dad's gun collection. Holy- he must really trust me. What's stopping me from opening the safe and pulling out his 200 year old, rare M98 and pawning it off for drugs on the street?
Nothing.
Not like I'd want to get drugs anyways. Heck, if my college instructors found out I used drugs, I would be kissing my Class Sargent position good bye. And the paperwork that goes with it. God- I hate that paperwork….
"Eh?" Sam asked, "What did I do to deserve this?"
"Deserve what Sam?"
"Deserve this!" he said angrily, as he got up, but not on his first try.
"What are you getting at Sam? What don't you think you deserve?"
"Don't try to handle me- jackboot!"
"What's going on?" Greg asked.
"He's not making any sense, boss," Ed summarized, "He does have a gun, and he called Perra a jackboot."
"Jackboot?" Greg said, "You remember when we heard that for the first time."
"Yeah, the environmental bombs," Jules said, "When Lewis was killed."
I looked back to see Spike shudder at the mention of Lew's name. "You going to be ok?" I asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine Perra."
"You better be, I don't want to have to pick you up too."
I turned to Sam. "Sam- you're having flashbacks, right?"
"You know how many people I've had to shoot? How many people I've killed?" he asked.
"I know Sam, I know- I really do."
"No, you don't airhead." Sam responded. "You don't know me."
"That's right, Sam, I don't know you. You know why? Because when I joined SRU, I was afraid, I was afraid of letting anyone down- that's why I didn't want to get close to anybody."
"You close to her now, though, right?"
"Yeah," I said, "Me and Jules- we're close."
"That's great Pear-but at the end of it all, what do I have to come home to; a bottle of scotch and the pictures of the guys who get blown up every week in Kandahar?"
"I know Sam, it messes a guy up, it really does, but it doesn't have to end like this."
"Why don't I just cut to the chase?" Sam said, as he waved the handgun in front of me, "Glock 19, 40cal- it'll be quick."
"Sam, you have to know something- death doesn't solve anything. For years I knew my mother was slowly dying, and she couldn't remember Thursday from Tuesday, and I didn't do anything about it. Then two days ago, I get a card from my dad- my mom died."
"Perra- where you going with this?" Greg asked.
"He has to know I'm human. I'm trying to show him that death doesn't solve anything." I replied.
"Then what happened?" Sam asked, "With your mom- you go home? Pay your respects?"
"I couldn't bring myself to that Sam, I couldn't because I never did anything. I could've got her some real special care, set her up, you know, and I never did."
"We all got baggage man." Sam said, "But that- it doesn't mean anything. Ed's got someone to come home to, you got Jules to come home to- what do I got? Eh? I got nothing! Can't even take the comfort of my parents either- my dad wants me to serve in another tour, and my mom just sits there and takes it all."
"Sam- you have to know, that you have friends that care about you. How do you think Ed would feel? Spike? Jules? What about me?"
"What about you?"
"You can't just give up, because you can't take it anymore, Sam," I responded, as I got closer to him, "I had to shoot my ex-wife two weeks ago. I had to find the sick pervert that was looking into my sister's place. And now- Megan's on the SRU Rover team-"
"Good for her. How she-" Sam started.
"Now, Sam," I continued, "From the moment I wake up in the morning, not only do I wonder if it'll be me or Jules who might not make it home, I have to worry about Megan too. And you're just giving up? Am I supposed to give up on Megan, on Jules?"
I approached Sam closer. "Put down the gun, Sam, because you're a soldier. You're a good soldier, and I will not let you give up."
Sam passed me the gun, grip first, as I took it from him.
"Thank you." He said calmly, as he put his arms behind his back, knowing fully well I'd have to cuff him.
A/N: Emotionally raw and unstable- god I love it! Ok- to clarify, I'm not a Sadist, but it almost tears a guy up to read this! I read it five times as proof reads, and I think this is the moistest my eyes have ever been without tearing up. Keep your boots on, A New Beginning fans, because some even more intense chapters are planned, and you might have to take a chair.