Chapter 1: Sirius

He wasn't there. He wasn't there. That could only mean one thing: it was him. One of the last people I would've suspected as a Death-Eater had betrayed my best friend to the most evil wizard to ever walk the planet.

I had to get there. Who knew how long ago it had been since he'd left, since Voldemort had been informed of where the Potters were hiding? James and Lily needed me. Harry needed me.

I was too upset to Apparate, so I jumped onto my motorbike and floored it all the way to Godric's Hollow – a route I knew as well as the family I was going to find.

***

It had been Lily's idea to move to Godric's Hollow when Harry had been born last year. She had gotten this crazy idea that children were better raised in the country than in the loud, bustling city; and James, being the devoted slave to love that he was (and still is), happily ceded to her wishes.

At first, I was a little ticked off – after all, Godric's Hollow wasn't exactly next door to London and I wanted to see my godson plenty. Of course, then Felicity reminded me that I was a fully qualified wizard and it was only a matter of minutes to Apparate there. After that, I was a little more at ease with it.

And I have to admit, maybe Lily had a point. Harry's grown by leaps and bounds in the last fifteen months – I have never seen a little boy so perfect. But then again, maybe I'm biased. He's the most important thing in my life: more than Felicity, more than James and Lily and Remus and Peter, more than my job, more than the Order. If I could only keep one thing, one person in my life and lose everything else – I'd keep Harry.

***

I land on the drive leading into James and Lily's property. I can smell smoke, the distinct smell of death – don't ask me what death smells like, I can't put it into words. I can hear somebody, I think it's Hagrid, trying to calm somebody in his gentle, booming voice. And on top of it all, I can hear the most gut-wrenching sound: the sound of Harry screaming and crying.

***

It reminds me of the time Harry stumbled across a Boggart. He was about 11 months old, and I had stolen him from James and Lily for the weekend. Remus and Felicity were both over for the night. Harry had crawled off into the hallway – I hadn't seen a problem with it, my entire place is baby-proof. The three of us were in the sitting room, talking, when Harry let out a terrified scream and started sobbing hysterically.

So being the devoted godfather that I am, I immediately beat it out there to scoop Harry up into my arms and comfort him while Felicity and Remus tried to figure out what had happened. They finally figured out that there had been a Boggart lodged in my grandfather clock – it's a beast of a thing, that clock, but my uncle Alphard had left to me in his will, and after the old man had been decent enough to give me gold too, I wasn't getting rid of it.

I've never been able to bear the sound of Harry crying. I hate hearing him cry, because it means that his world is not perfect at that moment in time, and if I had my way with the world, it would all exist solely to make sure Harry was always happy and his world was always perfect.

***

"Poor little tyke, yeh must have such a headache…" Hagrid sooths, voice a little panic-stricken. "Yeh'll be fine in a second, Harry, yeh'll see." And Harry continues to scream and cry, and as I approach, I can see that he's fighting against Hagrid. Harry's not used to Hagrid, and quite frankly, Hagrid is a terrifying individual if you're not used to him. "Harry, yer goin' ter fall if yeh keep this up."

"Hagrid," I say, voice coming out in a croak as I see the wreckage of the home where I had spent so many nights. "Hagrid, what happened?" Maybe it wasn't Voldemort. Maybe James had simply been a little careless with something. An accident. I could live with an accident.

"It was You-Know-Who, Sirius," Hagrid says grimly, and I feel my face lose all blood. "James an' Lily are dead."

The little rat… he is going to pay for this.

"SIUS!" Harry screams, struggling and reaching out for me. "SIUS, ME!"

My heart twists.

***

Harry has a pretty large vocabulary for only being fifteen months. He knows the important names – Da, Ma, Sius (me), Mus (Remus) and Fissy (so far, that's his best attempt at Felicity). He can never seem to get the hang of his 'R', 'T' and 'L' sounds. He knows the basic actions and items. The combination of any name and 'me', we've learnt, means 'pick me up and dote on me'. Or 'pick me up and play with me'. Or 'pick me up and cuddle with me'. Basically, 'Pay attention to me. You are my chosen audience'.

***

"Please, Hagrid," I beg as Harry keeps screaming for me, "give Harry to me, I'm his godfather…"

Hagrid shakes his head. "Dumbledore said ter bring him ter his aunt an' uncle, Sirius."

"Merlin, no, Hagrid!" I cry out. "I'm his guardian, he's supposed to come to me…" I have to have Harry. I can't lose him too.

"Dumbledore's orders, Sirius. He's ter go ter his aunt an' uncle. Yeh have a problem with it, take it up with Dumbledore." With that, Hagrid tightens his grip on Harry and goes while Harry keeps screaming and crying.

All right, I will. I want Harry. I will do whatever it takes to get Harry. And if that means that I have to leave Peter for the time being and have a heated argument with Dumbledore, that's what I'll do.

Momentarily, I wonder if I shouldn't go see Remus. It's full moon tonight – it's supposed to be James' month to stay with him, but James was in hiding. Remus claimed that he was a grown man, he could live with being on his own for a few full moons and that neither of us should have to stay with him any way.

Then I remember that I can't get into Remus' safe place now, anyway. Remus won't be able to understand until after the sun rises and he's human again. And these are precious hours I need to regain custody of Harry. As soon as I get Harry, I'll go to Remus.

***

Merlin, this is like a neighbourhood of clones. All the same cars, all the same houses, all the same lawns… how can somebody tell which house is theirs?

The streetlamps are all extinguished – thanks to Dumbledore's Putter-Outer, I'm sure. Now, what was the number again? Number something, Privet Drive? It is Privet Drive, isn't it? Merlin, my mind's spinning in so many different directions, I can't think straight. I'm surprised I didn't drive my bike into an aeroplane.

Finally, I spot two cloaked figures in front of number four. Cloaks… that would Dumbledore and somebody else – McGonagall, maybe?

"Ah, I think that's Hagrid now," Dumbledore says quietly, but then his face darkens when he sees me. I notice his hand going towards his wand. "Sirius, what are you doing here?" he asks carefully.

"Please, sir…" I say, aware that he believes me to be the traitor. Damn it, why did I suggest this stupid ploy in the first place? "I know it's hard to believe, and I understand your caution, but it's not me."

"You'll excuse me if I'm not convinced by your words," Dumbledore replies softly.

"Please, sir," I repeat. "I lost James and Lily tonight." My voice breaks, and I try to continue without breaking down completely. "I can't lose Harry too. I don't know what I can do to convince you. I'll do whatever you want me to do. Just don't take Harry away."

Dumbledore studies me for a moment. Then he speaks. "I happen to have in my possession, a vial of Veritaserum."

Immediately, I understand what he's saying. Nodding, I say, "Anything."

Just as we're about to start, I've swallowed the Veritaserum and everything, Hagrid arrives with Harry. Harry's still screaming, though more hoarsely and with fading intensity. "I tol' yeh ter take it up with Dumbledore," he says approvingly as he looks at me.

"I'm just about to ask Sirius a few questions, Hagrid," Dumbledore says quietly. Hagrid nods. "Sirius, where were James and Lily hiding?"

"I can't say," I reply. Merlin, this is such a weird sensation. I'm completely aware of everything I'm saying, but somehow I can't seem to associate the thoughts in my head with the words in my mouth.

"Why can't you tell me?" Dumbledore asks.

"Because I'm not the Secret-Keeper."

"How did you know where to go tonight?"

"Because Peter had told me before."

"Peter is the Secret-Keeper for James and Lily?"

"Yes."

"Why did you go to the Potters' tonight?"

"I was checking on Peter. He was in hiding. But he wasn't there. There was no sign of a struggle. I knew then that it was him who was the traitor, so I went to James and Lily's to try to warn them. I was too late."

"Does Remus know?"

"Remus doesn't know anything yet. It's full moon."

"Remus didn't know that you weren't the Secret-Keeper?"

"No. When James and Lily first asked me to be Secret-Keeper, I thought that he was the traitor. When we made the switch from myself to Peter, none of us told Remus."

"What about Felicity? Does she know?"

"No. I never told her anything about James and Lily. She knows only as much as the rest of our world knows."

"Where is Peter now?"

"I don't know. I was more concerned with first getting Harry and then telling Remus what happened before he finds out from somebody else, somebody who doesn't know the truth."

"Why?"

"Because they're more important than filthy rats."

Hagrid mumbles, "Merlin, why won' he stop screamin'?"

"Because you're not listening to him," I answer. "He wants to come to me. That's what he's saying. 'Sius, me' means 'Sirius, hold me'."

"Give him to Black for right now, Hagrid," McGonagall sighs. "We can't have the Muggles waking."

Hagrid passes Harry to me and I immediately settle him in my arms, rubbing his back comfortingly. Slowly, Harry's screams dissolve into hiccupping gasps and his warm little body cuddles up to me as his eyelids begin to droop.

"Sirius," Dumbledore says seriously, "there is still the matter of Harry's safety. Now, there is an old magic that has come into place here. Voldemort, should he ever return, cannot touch Harry while he is a minor and lives under a blood relation's roof. That is part of why I told Hagrid to bring him here."

"Lily would be furious with you if you left Harry here," I say, tightening my hold on Harry possessively. "He may be safe from Voldemort, but he will be miserable. Lily's sister is about as much family to Harry as my parents are to me. Her sister will torment him and neglect him. Harry would never know anything about James or Lily. He would know nothing about who he is."

"Sirius, Harry is going to be an overnight celebrity. By this time tomorrow, every person in our world is going to know who he is. They very well may declare today Harry Potter Day."

Despite myself, I snicker. The Veritaserum is starting to wear off. Then I stop – Dumbledore's being dead serious. "All the better to keep him in our world, sir. It would be a horrible shock to live ten years with the Muggles and then be dropped into that kind of status when he starts school. At least this way he has a chance to adjust."

***

I watch Harry, not Dumbledore, while he thinks.

He's such a perfect little boy. I've said it a thousand times a day since he was born, and I will continue to say it a thousand times a day until the day I die. Felicity likes to laugh and say that I act as though he's my son and not James'. I don't care – he's just as much mine as he is James and Lily's. Just like he's just as much Remus' as mine. We're closer than brothers, James and Remus and I. What belongs to one of us usually belongs to all of us, with the exception of wife and girlfriend; and so that includes Harry.

I can't lose him. I can't. I'll go mad with grief.

Finally, Dumbledore speaks. "All right, Sirius. Take him. But you and Remus keep as low a profile as possible in the next few days, until the initial chaos is settled. The Order will handle the problem of Peter."

I nearly collapse in sheer relief. Harry is mine. All mine.