Chapter 8: What Choice Do You Have?

When all you know ends, what choice do you have but to begin again?

Lee-on-the-Solent, Hampshire (November 30, 1982):

"The nearest town is an hour's drive south," the elderly man repeated, still looking askance at Remus as the young man reached out to catch the toddler careening past him. "No neighbours around before you reach the town limits."

"Harry, stop that," Remus ordered as Harry laughed and tried to climb the walls again. "That's perfect, sir. I like my quiet. Harry James Potter, you stop that this instant!"

"Don't know what a young man like yourself wants with total isolation, but I've been looking for a buyer for years on this property," the elderly man finally said. "When can you move in?"

"When can you move out?" Remus replied, finally hoisting Harry back up onto his hip when the toddler showed no signs of obeying his earlier command.

***

Lee-on-the-Solent (December 25, 1982):

"Remus," Harry asked again as he trailed along behind his guardian throughout the house. "Remus, where's Sirius? Remus…"

"Sirius is gone, Harry. Go play with your toys for a while," Remus told him tiredly.

"Where's Sirius?" Harry asked again, ignoring Remus' quiet order. "Remus…"

"Harry, Sirius is gone," Remus repeated irritably. "Stop pestering me."

Again, Harry asked, "Where's Sirius, Remus? Where'd he go?"

"For Merlin's sake, Harry, enough already!" Remus finally exclaimed. "I've told you at least ten times today! Sirius is gone, he isn't coming back, and neither is Jenny, so stop asking!"

Harry stopped, eyes wide. "No…" he whined. "They not gone!"

"Yes, they are!" Remus replied.

"No…"

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Harry…"

***

Lee-on-the-Solent (July 31, 1983):

"Remus, wake up!" came a delighted squeal as Remus was very rudely awakened at an ungodly hour of the morning. "Remus! Remus, wake up, it's my birthday!"

Remus groaned, pulling his blankets up and over his head. "Go back to bed, Harry. It's too early…"

"No, it's not!" Harry insisted, giggling as he tugged at the blankets. "Get up! You promised a trip!"

Moaning again, Remus reluctantly uncovered his head, casting a suspicious glance out his bedroom window. "Oh, Merlin, Harry, the sun isn't even up yet…"

"Come on!" Harry repeated. "It takes long to go to London!"

"Not that long," Remus muttered rebelliously, though he got out of bed. "All right, then, Harry, go get –" He stopped when he realized Harry was already dressed. "All right, go wait at the kitchen table while I get dressed –"

"I already had breakfast, Remus," Harry informed him, bouncing from foot to foot excitedly.

"How did you –" Remus started to ask in outrage, before he shook his head. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

***

Diagon Alley, London:

"Morning, Remus, Harry," Henry greeted them as Remus tightened his grip on Harry's hand. "I trust I find you well today?"

"About as well as any other day, Henry, thank you," Remus replied quietly. "Can we get our usual table, please?"

"Absolutely, Remus, no troubles," Henry assured him, leading them to their usual quiet corner table. "Well, I hear it's a young man's birthday today."

"I'm sure it's somebody's birthday, Henry," Remus agreed with a slight smile as Harry grinned happily.

"It's my birthday, Henry," he said.

"Mmm, no, I think it's somebody else's," Remus said with a laugh as Henry rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchens. "Think it's that boy over there. Think it's his birthday today."

"Nooooo, Remus, it's my birthday," Harry insisted, climbing up onto his chair. "I'm three, Remus."

"Really?" Remus asked with a straight face. "That's serious, turning three. Shouldn't do it."

"Don't be silly, Remus," Harry laughed, leaning on the table with his elbows. "I can start nursery in September, right? I'm old enough now."

"We'll see, Harry," Remus replied. "Maybe you will, maybe you won't."

"Oh, can't I, Remus, please?" Harry pleaded. "They'd all be Muggles," he offered. "And I'd be perfect behaved…"

"We'll see, Harry."

***

He felt Harry attach himself to his leg when people started whispering, the little boy ducking beneath the safety and anonymity of his cloak.

Sighing, Remus put a hand on the back of his charge's head, directing him carefully through the foot traffic in Diagon Alley. "Come on, it's all right," he murmured. "Nobody's going to get you on my watch."

Harry whispered something against his leg, voice muffled by the fabric. Stopping, Remus knelt down and gently detached the boy. Lifting him up into his arms, he said, "All right, say that again."

"Can we go home now, Remus?" Harry repeated, setting his head down on Remus' shoulder. "I don't like it here anymore."

"Sure, Harry," Remus agreed.

***

Lee-on-the-Solent (September 1, 1983)

"Remus!"

Remus groaned as Harry banged on his door yet again. "Merlin…" he muttered drowsily, shoving his head beneath his pillow again. "I knew it was a big mistake to teach him to read a calendar. Go to sleep, Harry, it's midnight!"

"It's September 1st, Remus!" Harry shrieked.

"Go to sleep!"

"I start school today!"

"Not for another nine hours, go to bed!"

"Get up, Remus, get up," Harry begged, bursting into the room and tugging at his pillow excitedly. "I have to get ready for school, Remus."

"Merlin…"

"Come on, Remus!" Harry pleaded, eyes wide and bright with happiness.

"If you weren't so small and so cute…" Remus grumbled half-heartedly.

***

"All right, next on your learning schedule is how to tell time," Remus told Harry frankly, stifling another yawn behind his hand as the car turned another corner. "You can't keep waking me up at the break of midnight."

Harry merely grinned at him from the backseat, clinging to his schoolbag possessively. "Miss Sara will happy to see you again," he offered mischievously.

Remus rolled his eyes. The Muggle girl who worked at the town bakery and café had taken a liking to him – or more likely, to Harry's irrepressible charm. She was a nice girl, sweet enough to Harry. It was clear that the girl was angling for him to ask her out, but she had no idea what she would be getting herself into.

The irony of her name didn't escape his mind, either.

"Remus?" Harry asked after a short moment of silence.

"Yes, Harry?" Remus replied, looking in the rearview mirror at his inquisitive charge.

"Where do you think Sirius and Jenny are?" The little boy watched him innocently. "They're taking a long time to find us."

Remus sighed. No matter how many times he explained it, Harry just didn't understand that Sirius and Jenny were dead. That they weren't coming back, just like James and Lily. But then again, he and Sirius and Jenny were all that Harry knew. He couldn't grasp the concept of anything before them. James and Lily were nothing more than faces in a picture and names in a conversation to him.

"I don't know, Harry," he said finally, returning his gaze to the empty road ahead of him.

"Maybe they don't know where we live now," Harry suggested. "We should send them a letter."

"Maybe," Remus agreed vaguely.

***

"Good morning," Sara called cheerfully from behind the counter. "Hello, Harry!"

"I'm starting school today, Sara," Harry informed her excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet as she got him a chocolate chip muffin.

"Are you?" Sara asked. "That's exciting. Where are you going?"

"He's going to the school in town here," Remus supplied, passing the muffin to Harry. "I'm not sure that he needs any more energy. He's been up since midnight," he said with a smile.

"He'll crash at noon, don't worry," Sara laughed.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Remus said dryly. "Then he'll be up all night again." He paid her and shooed Harry off to one of the tables. "Go on, eat up, kiddo." He took a mouthful of coffee. "You've got to get to school, and I've got to get to work."

He watched Harry thoughtfully for a few minutes while he drank his coffee. Harry seemed happy enough to live a Muggle-like life. As Muggle as a couple of wizards could be, anyway. Maybe this was the key to keeping him safe, keeping him happy. Staying here, in this completely Muggle village, going to a Muggle school – at least until he was 11. It would let him have fun with other children his age – children who didn't treat him differently because of who he was. So far, his Muggle employer had remained oblivious to the nature of his condition – he had forced himself to go to work even when he was at his worst. One of the older women in the village came out once a month to watch Harry while he 'got away'. This life was working for them.

Maybe this was where they would stay.