(A/N: Will add more to this chapter as I think of more puns. Count on it, broskis.)
An excerpt from Izuki's Joke Book, vol. 8
Q. What did the basketball player's ex-girlfriend say when they broke up?
A. "I knew I was just a rebound!"
.
Q. Why did the horse ask for a glass of water?
A. Because he was hoarse!
.
Q. What did Kagami say after he jumped over the basketball hoop?
A. "Mamma mia!"
.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza?"
"Sure!"
"Never mind, it's too cheesy."
.
Q. What did the mother say after her son wet the bed?
A. "Looks like urine trouble!"
.
Q. What did the frustrated basketball player say to the coach?
A. "Just lay up already!"
.
Q. How did I get out of Iraq?
A. Iran.
.
Q. How many Generation of Miracles members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Just one, but they'll score one hundred more than they needed to.
.
"Want to hear a chemistry joke?"
"Sure!"
"Na."
.
Q. Why was Kagami benched after he came all the way from America?
A. Because he was travelling.
.
Q. Why did the hipster stop swimming in the ocean?
A. Because it was too current.
.
Why do they call it menopause when men don't get it?
.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A. Because the referee was blowing fowls.
.
Q. What did the elephant say to the-
A. "Shut up, Izuki."
b-but I liked his jokes ;w;
Similarities between basketball and sex
Can't be posted here, because of K+ rating and your mother.
Url is as follows (remove spaces):
http: (doubleslash) dir . groups . yahoo . com (slash) group (slash) puns (slash) message (slash) 19314
Basketball quotes
Based off real quotes.
"These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't make you handsome like me. They'll only make you have shoes like me. That's it." - Aomine Daiki (Charles Barkley)
"If you make every game a life and death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot." - Kiyoshi Teppei (Dean Smith)
"After Kagami Taiga had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Kagami and I combined to score 70 points." - Koganei Shinji (Stacey King)
"I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice." - Kagami Taiga (Kurt Rambis)
"I haven't been able to slam-dunk the basketball for the past five years. Or, for the eleven years before that, either." - Kuroko Tetsuya (Dave Barry)
"In my prime I could have handled the Generation of Miracles. Of course, they would be only four years old." - Teikou's coach (Jerry Sloan)
"Some things you just can't question. Like you can't question why two plus two is four. So don't question it, don't try to look it up. I don't know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don't know." - Kise Ryota (Shaquille O'Neal)
"The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking about manic depression, she asked, 'How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?' Hyuuga raised his hand and answered, 'Riko?'" - Old Seirin Joke
"Any Japanese boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up." - Murasakibara Atsushi (Bill Vaughn)
"On the best tactic when playing alongside Midorima - Just give him the ball." - Takao Takenori (Earvin 'Magic' Johnson)
"There are some remarkable parallels between basketball and politics. Akashi Seijuro has already mastered the skill most needed for political success: how to stay aloft without visible means of support." - Margaret Thatcher (1992)
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." - Sakurai Ryo (Chuck Nevitt), explaining to Momoi Satsuki why he appeared nervous at practice
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care." - Touou's coach (Frank Layden), on Aomine Daiki
"Die." - Midorima Shintaro