The Legend of Kuroman – 4
At some point, Kuroman became an Internet sensation.
The fanarts multiplied and gave birth to more fanarts. The fan videos on Nico Nico skyrocketed. The doujinshis were sold out at every convention. It all pointed to one thing – the public had truly taken a shine to their mysterious, shadowy defender of justice.
Naturally, they made an anime out of it. It was not a rare sight on the streets of Harajuku to see enthusiastic Kuroman cosplayers, waving and smiling for the cameras. The Legend of Kuroman was a hit all across Japan, particularly with little girls and lonely otakus in their thirties.
"The hell?" Kagami demanded, after he saw the anime debut episode. "Did they just turn Kuroman into a magical girl anime?"
"Yes," said the Kuroman himself. "It appears they did."
Cleanup duty is the destiny of mankind – 1
That day, Kagami was late for practice. He was still scowling and muttering dark words under his breath as he shuffled into the basketball court. Everyone else was already halfway through practice, sweating like pigs under Riko's gruesome training.
"You're late, Kagami. What kept you?" Hyuuga asked, a question which prompted another annoyed grimace from Kagami. It was actually not the first time this had happened to him.
"Class rep was yelling at me," he explained gruffly. "She made me stay back in the class again."
"What for?" Hyuuga asked, puzzled.
"Half-assing my cleanup duties."
At this point, Kuroko spoke up behind Kagami. "Kagami-kun, you have to clean to the fullest extent of your abilities."
Kagami groaned. "Argh, not you too, Kuroko!"
"Huh? What does your class rep say?" Koganei piped up curiously.
"Argh! She's so frustrating! She goes on and on about our duties to the class, like working together or some crap like that. No man must be left out."
"She does not say anything like that to me," said Kuroko.
"That's because she doesn't notice you exist at all!"
Hyuuga wondered if anyone else saw the irony in this.
Like Mother, Like Son – 2
Ever since Kagami met Kuroko's parents, there was one thing he found himself very curious about.
"How did they meet?" he asked. "I mean seriously. Your mum's got no presence." After he said that, he supposed it was a little mean of him to say. After all, Kuroko had very little presence either. Perhaps equating that with a lack of attractiveness was somewhat insulting. He certainly didn't mean it like that.
Kuroko, however, did not seem to mind. In fact, he seemed rather thoughtful more than anything. "I suppose I will have to ask them."
The next day, he dutifully reported the story to Kagami.
"My mother works at a fashion agency," he explained. "She has always said she likes clothes and how their colours bring out different shades of personality in different people. She likes supporting people and making them look good by making clothes for them. One day, she was asked to tailor my father's clothes for him. She said she noticed how vibrant my father's personality was. Soon after that, they became friends. She said to him, 'I would like to become your shadow. By doing so, I will make your light shine brighter.'"
Kagami gaped.
"And thus, they fell in love," Kuroko finished blandly.
"Why does this story sound scarily familiar?"
Cleanup duty is the destiny of mankind – 2
"Kuroko Tetsuya… Kuroko Tetsuya…"
The class representative, a bespectacled girl with a smart, prim ponytail, was reading through the class register and frowning deeply.
"Who is this guy?" she asked aloud. "I'm pretty sure I know everyone else in this class and yet…"
"Excuse me…"
"… and yet it seems like every week there's a ghost who does the cleanup duties on Kuroko-kun's assigned day. It's all so strange, very strange indeed…"
"Excuse me…"
"Yes, what is-?" The class rep froze. "YOU!"
"Yes?" said Kuroko blankly.
The class rep stared at him very, very closely, peering at him from all sorts of angles. "Do I know you?" she said finally.
"I'm Kuroko Tetuya."
"Kuroko…?" The class rep's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Forgive me! Please forgive me!"
"For what?"
"Because I forgot you! I didn't know who you were! And I pride myself for not being able to forget a face! I'm really, really sorry!"
"It's okay. I'm used to it."
"Listen, I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you a milkshake, okay? Then we'll call it even, all right?"
A blink. "You really don't have t-"
"I insist!"
The class rep had a wild, desperate look in her eyes. "Um, okay," said Kuroko.
The class rep looked relieved. "Good!" she announced. Then she turned around to Kagami. Her facial expression underwent a one-eighty transformation. "Oi, Kagami-kun, get off your fat ass and try to look like you're paying attention in class!"
From where he had previously been snoozing at his desk, Kagami threw her a sour glance. "God," he said irritably. "Stop bossing me around!"
"Hpmh, isn't he the worst, Kuroko-kun?"
"It can't be helped. Kagami-kun is stupid."
"Hey!" Kagami said indignantly. "When did you guys get so chummy all of a sudden?"
"Class rep-san is buying me a milkshake."
"What the-? Are you so easily bribed, Kuroko?" Kagami declared dramatically, "You'll live to regret this, Kuroko! She's going to eat you alive!"
Kuroko thought that actually sounded kind of ominous.
"Cleanup duty is the destiny of mankind," the class rep told Kuroko proudly, as she was buying him the promised milkshake.
"Is that so?" said Kuroko, looking neither interested nor disinterested.
"That's right!" the class rep enthused. "Life is about working together! It's about achieving our dreams of cleanup duty together! Cleanup duty is what we humans were born to do!"
"I admire your passion."
"That's why I really don't like people like Kagami-kun," the class rep went on, before she started ordering food for herself. When she was done, she continued talking to Kuroko. "People like Kagami-kun just want to do their own thing, you know? They don't think about the team at all!"
"I think you're wrong," Kuroko said quietly. He began to sip on his shake. "I think Kagami-kun is very much a team player."
"Oh, really? Well, he does play basketball, I suppose… But still…"
Kuroko cocked his head slightly in puzzlement.
The class rep simply sighed. "I don't care much for basketball. I guess we just don't get along because we don't have anything in common."
At that moment, her order arrived. She started to make her way to the table, staggering under a mountain of burgers.
Kuroko blinked.
"I think you have quite a lot in common, actually…"
"Kuroko…!"
Kagami was wincing. He was wincing very hard.
Frantically, he started pointing at the girl standing at the entrance of the gym.
"What is she doing here?" he hissed furiously. "I thought I was rid of that class rep, but I can't escape her even at club activities! Goddamn it!"
"Kagami-kun, if you speak that way, some people might think you are impolite."
Somewhere on the sidelines, Tetsuya #2 let out a yappy bark. The class rep looked at the dog strangely.
"That's, um, an interesting team you've got there," she remarked to Riko.
"Wait till you see them play," Riko said, shrugging, though she was actually grinning slyly. "Did Kuroko-kun invite you here?"
"No," said the class rep frankly. "I don't really watch basketball. Actually, there's something I'm curious about…"
She turned in Kagami's direction and placed her hands by the sides of her mouth as she called out to him.
"Kagami-kun! If you don't play well enough, I'll give you double cleanup duties!"
"What?"
The class rep merely chuckled at Kagami's outraged reaction.
"Is this good enough for you?" he demanded as he dunked the ball with all the boundless speed and strength that was characteristic of him.
"Nope," said the class rep.
"Bah! Can't please her whatever I do…"
Kagami promptly decided to ignore the girl after that and played his usual way. Kuroko's passes made the whole practice run smoothly, and Kagami coordinated his jumps with Hyuuga's three-pointers and Kiyoshi's point guard play. It was really just a normal day for Seirin.
The class rep stayed and watched for the duration, but as the players were coming off the court, she turned and walked away, her hand against her chin, evidently thinking.
The next day, when class ended, the class rep cornered Kagami in the classroom.
"Listen," she said. "There's something I want to talk to you about."
"What is it now?" Kagami said exasperatedly. "I did my duties this time, didn't I?"
"You did," said the class rep, smiling. "And quite well."
Kagami shuddered. She was smiling. Okay, so of course this girl was capable of smiling, but she never did it in front of him. It was like his very presence set off a zone defence that blocked off her smiling muscles.
"I have to correct my opinion of you," she went on. "So you can be a team player after all."
"Well, yeah," said Kagami. He didn't mention that it was really Kuroko and Seirin that had taught him to be a team player, but okay.
Little did he know that Kuroko was standing unnoticed in the room, smiling faintly at the conversation playing out before him.
"Cleaning's a lot like basketball, I think," said the class rep. "I think you might very well become the greatest basketball player in Japan. That feeling of applying disinfectant must be like scoring a slam dunk!"
"Uh, whatever you say." But Kagami was starting to smile. Crazy or not, he was beginning to see where his class rep was coming from.
"I have a proposal for you, Kagami-kun!" The class rep stood with her hands on her hips, a broad grin on her face. "Now that I know about your passion, there's something I know that we could achieve, if we could just put the right amount of teamwork in!"
She held out her hand before him, poised to shake it. Kagami looked at it for a moment, and then clasped it.
"And what's that?" he asked.
"With our strength and wits, it would be easy!" the class rep said enthusiastically. "We'll become the greatest janitors in Japan!"
Author's note: Feel free to write out Kagami's response in the reviews.