A/N: I don't usually post incomplete chapters or small chapters for that matter; if you read any of my other stuff you know I like to write A LOT. But I didn't have any inspiration to wrap this fic up before the holiday madness started, and I desperately wanted to post something today. This is a Christmas fic after all. So, now I'm overwhelmed by holiday things, and family stuff, and I'm trying to find time to write the rest of this as soon as possible, but for now, here is a small treat.
Merry Christukkah to all of you. And to those who don't celebrate either one, I hope you're having a nice week with your families regardless.
~*2014*~
The taxi driver helped Rachel pull her pink, extremely heavy suit case out of the trunk and dropped it next to her, causing all of her gratitude to melt in a nanosecond. What if there was something in there that might break? Didn't the guy know better? Exhaling dramatically, Rachel pulled her wallet out of her handbag and paid the driver, no tip now that she was vexed.
Hanover, New Hampshire was not the ultimate location to spend your holidays, at least not when you were a future star struggling to break into the business. However, getting a phone call from the grandmother she hadn't known existed had ignited something in Rachel. And after she hung up on Eleanor, she had called Shelby, who had groaned and apologized profusely, but her voice had betrayed her about how excited she really was when she had affirmed that Rachel was 100% welcome at her family home.
In the end, her fathers had decided to be in a cruise in Latin America, with fireworks in New Year's Eve somewhere fabulous like Rio or Antigua, and Brody, who she was still dating, was starring in an off-Broadway original production and couldn't afford to not work the entire holidays. She had just been defeated in the NYADA's Winter Showcase by this skinny triple threat cookie-cutter girl from California, who had also beaten her for the role of Chava on the new Broadway revival of Fiddler in the Roof and Kurt was all lovey dovey with his new boyfriend. So she had been lonely, stressed, pissed, depressed, and the alternative to a cold empty holiday in the city was a cold holiday in the middle of nowhere, with the family of her biological mother, all expenses covered. She was broke too, so it hadn't been that difficult to make the decision.
Rachel wrestled her suitcase from the ground and looked up the ridiculously long driveway. Hanover was even smaller than Lima, and apparently nobody bothered with fences or gates either, and most of the houses looked exactly like this one. Her grandparent's house was pristine white, with a huge porch on the front, very traditionally suburban, and huge, but not luxurious; the only thing that made it unique was that every window and door was painted green. It looked like a nice place to raise your children and grow old, even if Rachel would much rather live in the city, and she knew Shelby felt the same.
They emailed each other somewhat regularly, so she knew her mother had tried to stay in Hanover to be closer to her family, but had practically jumped at the opportunity to teach at the Baltimore School for the Arts. Rachel had even visited her mother once, during a spring break in which she had been preparing to audition for the role of Lauren on the new Oklahoma revival.
Shelby had offered to help her prep, and Rachel had almost run straight to the airport immediately, of course. She had excellent tutors in NYADA, but Shelby Corcoran was still a respectable expert in vocal technique. She hadn't nailed the part, according to the cast director because she was too much of a light weight – they had chosen a girl that had actually been doing Broadway shows since she was five – but she had been praised on her bold song choices, fantastic arrangement and amazing voice control. Rachel still thought it was a great injustice and wasn't completely over the fact that she had been rejected for one of her dream roles, but she was proud to have done so well and grateful for Shelby's input.
Besides, visiting Shelby had been nice. Baltimore was not New York City, but it was a hell of a better place to live in than Lima. Shelby's home in Roland Park wasn't as big as her parent's home there in Hanover, but it was an incredibly nice place, surrounded by green on a very quiet street, and Rachel even got her own bedroom. Shelby had explained that her parents had offered to help her lease a more expensive house, as long as there was enough space for them to be up her ass whenever their schedule allowed.
There were always a million things to do and Rachel had experienced the best food she had ever eaten. She was aware that she lived in one of the top culinary spots of the world, but she was also a college student and didn't get to enjoy it that much. Shelby had spoiled her with upscale restaurants and they had enjoyed some family fun with Beth.
Rachel doubted there would be so much to be excited about in the small town, but it was the holidays – Hanukkah overlapping with Christmas, and she was looking forward to any food that wasn't nuked, or take out. She was also eager to experience some real holiday times, since their celebrations in New York were becoming more cynical the busier/poorer they all became. Rachel took a deep breath, righted her shoulders, pulled on her show face and ringed the doorbell. It didn't take long before the door opened to an older woman, who looked strikingly like Rachel; her dark hair was pulled back into a severe bun and she had glasses dangling over her very Jewish nose.
"You must be Rachel," the woman commented dryly, opening the door and gesturing for Rachel to step inside. Despite the fact that her grandmother had mustered the least amount of enthusiasm Rachel could possibly expect, her smile grew instinctively wider.
Rachel nodded rapidly and then hugged the woman clumsily "And you must be my nana."
"Yes," was the curt reply Eleanor offered along with an even more awkward hug of her own.
As if on cue, Shelby came trotting down the stairs, all smiles and joy.
"You're here," Shelby squealed, startlingly.
Rachel giggled and screamed "Yes," while she watched her mother jump two steps at a time, land next to her with a thud, and then gather Rachel in much warmer, heartfelt hug.
"You're here and tomorrow is your birthday," Shelby commented, so giddy and all Rachel could do was giggle again. Rachel wasn't oblivious to the fact that it would the first birthday she ever spent with her mother; they had become pretty close, but this was a big landmark for them and it was really nice that Shelby was even more thrilled than Rachel herself was.
"Yes."
"I'm so happy" Shelby whispered, a touch of sadness very clear in her voice and Rachel nodded, tightening their embrace.
"Me too," Rachel pulled away from Shelby to face her. "And I've prepared a medley of songs properly composed and performed by Jewish people, in homage to our Hanukkah/Christmas, and also an assortment of Christmas carols. But we can do duet, of course. Our harmonizing is more than adequate, and it has been a while."
Shelby laughed out loud, and nodded, but not without glancing back at her own mother a million of times. Rachel turned just in time to see her grandmother roll her eyes and turn on her heels.
"Definitively your daughter," Eleanor commented wryly as she walked down the hallway.
Rachel tensed and looked at Shelby with wide eyes. Did that mean she had just blown it with her grandmother? And if so, why did Shelby looked wildly unaffected?
"It's that a good thing?" Rachel muttered and Shelby just snorted.
"That's unlikely, but you get used to ignoring it." Shelby brushed both of her arms, obviously aware that she wasn't too convinced. "Rach, seriously, ignore it. It's all your uncle's fault. I swear, every year, he manages to either miss or come really close to missing the first day of Hanukkah and it sends your grandmother into a mood. She'll come around once she's not out for blood. She really wants you here, you know."
"Are you sure?" Rachel murmured, not wanting to be overheard and make it worse. "Because, she barely even hugged me back."
Shelby chuckled and made some gesture that Rachel guessed meant she should drop that idea.
"Beth is the only one who seems to drag those out of her, willingly, these days and my poor boo boo bear doesn't even know she is in a countdown. The last time my mother hugged me I must have been six, or something. Doesn't mean she doesn't love you. She just thinks over cuddling spoils your character. I'm pretty sure she actually published at least three articles saying so."
Rachel took a dramatic deep breath; her grandmother was officially scary and she was stuck there for ten days. That had not been how she had planned this whole voyage.
"I know she's intimidating," Shelby offered sympathetically. "You get used to that too. Just… if it makes you upset, you can tell me, alright? I know she can cross the line sometimes without being aware, so please, Rach, tell me, so I can have a conversation with her. We all want you to have a good time here."
Rachel wasn't sure how invested Eleanor actually was in her enjoyment, but the woman had invited her, paid for her air fares and even said that if Rachel needed money for the cab that she would be glad to cover it. Maybe Shelby was right and they just needed time. Besides, Shelby was ecstatic and that made Rachel feel welcome enough. They hoisted Rachel's baggage up the stairs and settled on the guest room designated to her, while Rachel started to unpack.
"Where is Beth?" Rachel asked to Shelby, who had leaned back on the bed and turned the TV on for white noise when Rachel had declined her offer to help.
"Out with my dad. I sent them to the grocery store to get the vegan ingredients for your cake," Shelby explained casually, but Rachel immediately turned from hanging her appropriately red dress and cooed at her mother.
"That's so cute!" Rachel added for good measure and Shelby blushed slightly, despite the fact that she had shrugged and tried to look nonchalant.
"It's your birthday and you get cake."
Rachel finished putting her clothes and toiletries away and landed on the fluffy mattress next to her mother.
"So, I have news." Rachel announced eagerly and clapped a little bit.
"Did you get Fiddler?" Shelby inquired anxiously.
"No, Ella Roy took it." Rachel huffed and pushed her hair back, angrily. She wasn't ready to let it go. "But remember when I auditioned for Oklahoma, and it was really close? The director called me just before I boarded the plane asking if I wanted to audition for the role of Natalie in the Next to Normal revival he is doing."
Shelby sat down, a huge grin exploding on her face.
"Rach, that's great. That's as awesome musical and a great role for you."
Rachel nodded almost manically at her mother and moved a bit so they would be facing each other.
"Yeah. Apparently the actress they got to play Diana really looks like me, so they are really keen to have me come in. I just have to make it work."
"Are you auditioning with the actress?"
"I'm not sure; they wouldn't even tell me her name, though the fact that she looks like me narrows it down."
Shelby nodded, clearly thinking about the same person as she was.
"Do you want to prepare Maybe?
"If you would sing it with me," Rachel suggested sheepishly, regardless of the fact that Shelby almost never passed on the chance of singing with her.
Shelby squeezed her thigh and grinned; Rachel knew she could count on her mother to be as excitable as she was. "As if I wouldn't."
"Also, I need to borrow your magical powers in song selection. This doesn't strike me as the best opportunity to swing some Barbra at them."
"No problem."
Shelby went to her own bedroom and dug out her laptop and Rachel grabbed her tablet, and they took advantage of the quietness in the house to listen to some music and make notes on stuff they could try on for Rachel's audition. Rachel knew better than to not have a back-up song for an audition, but Shelby was the most control freakish person, so Rachel knew her mother would be setting her up with at least four songs.
They were going through Broadway repertoire first, and Rachel was showing Shelby some of the things she had practiced on her Vocal Performance classes in NYADA. She spent some time showing Shelby the video she had recorded with Brody of A Little Fall of Rain, for when he had played Marius in the Les Miz revival; even though the song was unusable, she loved that video.
She was proud of Brody, even when she was slightly jealous due to her natural competitiveness. Brody's Broadway career was taking off while she was already on her 14th unsuccessful audition streak, and she had to make the 15th stick if she wanted to graduate NYADA straight into a job.
She was not looking forward to waitressing for a living, not when everybody else had a decent grown up job – Brody living his dreams, Kurt doing part-time at NYADA because he was promoted to a paying Assistant job at , and hell, even Santana, who had transferred to Tisch two years before was kind of well off as a lingerie model. That was something Rachel could never imagine herself doing, but Santana swore it wasn't miserable and she made good money. Rachel would be damned if she would be the one to graduate and sit on her Bushwick studio waiting for real life to happen.
Rachel showed Shelby the arrangement for Nobody's Side that her vocal teacher had just handled her to learn and Shelby was excited about that one, so they set it aside. Rachel kept going through her library while Shelby was apparently trying to figure out if she could turn Superboy and Invisible Girl into a solo.
Rachel was running with Shelby's suggestion of Gimme, Gimme from Modern Millie, when Beth came running inside the room screaming for her mom, then turned directions right away and jumped on her neck while yelling Rachie, Rachie, Rachie, the whole time. Rachel was distracted giving Beth a hug and trying to loosen up her tiny arms around her neck so she could breathe, and didn't notice somebody else was in the room until Shelby casually talked to the man.
Rachel looked up at the older man and tensed up, wondering if he was anything like her grandmother. But Shelby waved him in and pulled Beth into her own lap, before introducing "Dad, this is Rachel. Rach, this is my dad, Keith."
Keith immediately smiled warmly at her, and murmured that she was beautiful, and Rachel almost undid herself, of course. There was no praise she didn't respond to, and her grandfather seemed like a very nice man, so she climbed out of bed and gave him a hug. The response this time was much more what she expected.
"Why is Rachie hugging granpa?" Beth asked with a frown and Shelby actually felt her heart skip a bit.
Rachel and her father extracted themselves from the moment too and exchanged a charged glanced with her, nobody quite figuring out how to address this. There must be a completely harmless answer that wouldn't blow the lid of the can out into the sky, but the three of them seemed to be drawing a blank.
Shelby knew it was her fault. Beth had known Rachel for years and loved her, but Shelby had never quite figured out how to explain who Rachel really was without omitting things or putting her older daughter on the spot. And she didn't want Rachel to feel obligated to play big sister.
Rachel had come to reference Shelby as her mother through the years, but she never called Shelby 'mom' anymore. They had both agreed it was too odd long ago and that since they acted more as friends than anything, they could love each other as family without enforcing labels. Shelby saw Rachel open her mouth a million times to try and explain, and then close when doubt crossed her, and she just decided she needed to stall Beth. She was going to need to have an honest conversation with her little one, but she needed time. And she never thought it would come to that, but she needed her mother's advice too.
"Sweetie, momma will talk to you about why Rachel is here later, okay? We'll have a grown up talk."
Beth looked up at her with a frown, confusion transparent in her hazel eyes, but nodded. And then, like every four year-old, she forgot it completely, stood up and jumped from the bed to Rachel's arms again, screaming "Rachie, spin me."
Shelby sighed and got up from the bed. These days, every bendable adult that got on Beth's sights would end up hostage to her whims and she wanted to be whirled around forever, until she got dizzy. She knew Rachel wasn't keen to complying, having been vomited at once, so she once more pried her kid away from Rachel and carried Beth out of the room so Rachel could have some alone time with her dad.
Shelby had meant to find something distracting on the TV for Beth and seek her mother for a conversation, but as she reached the lower floor the front door opened and Freddie stepped in.
"Uncle Freddie!" Beth yelped in exhilaration and reached for her favorite uncle.
"Who is my Munchkin?" Freddie grinned and opened his arms to receive the toddler.
As soon as he had hugged and kissed her, Beth started begging him to spin and despite the fact that Shelby muttered "Don't" through gritted teeth at him, he gave into Beth and started playing airplanes with her. Shelby shook her head in frustration and stood there seething, until her brother put her woozy baby on the ground and wrapped her with his muscular arms.
Despite her anger, Shelby let herself melt into her brother's protective presence. Since she had reconnected to her family, she always missed Freddie the most. Probably because after the truth had come out, he had been the one to hover the most, but always in his cool, irresponsible little brother manner. They always had fun when Freddie would drop by Maryland for absolutely no reason and since he hadn't settled down and had babies of his own, he was crazy about Beth.
Shelby loosened up her hold on Freddie, but he didn't let her out of his hug and Shelby raised her eyebrows questioningly at her brother. However, all he did was turn to Beth and ask mischievously "Should we spin momma, Beth?"
"No!" Shelby scoffed and slapped her brother's chest, but he still didn't let go.
Beth giggled, delighted, and nodded "Yes, yes, spin mommy!"
Shelby gaped at the two of them and their little alliance against her, but Freddie still threw her over his shoulder and started twirling, making Beth crack up.
"Frederick Joseph Corcoran!"
Rachel heard her mother yell on her very scary Coach Corcoran voice, and looked at her grandfather for directions. After Shelby had left them alone they had sat down at the bed and exchanged polite introductions. Keith had asked her about school and New York, clearly having been debriefed by Shelby at some point, and seemed very interest even as she went overboard and talked about her many career prospects.
Then she asked him a few questions and he clarified that both Eleanor and he were professors at the University and he specialized in Theoretical Physics, which was just insane to Rachel. She had barely been able to understand basic science in High School, though with a tutor her fathers hired she had managed to pass Physics and Chemistry with straight As, and her grandfather was an expert researcher at an Ivy! He had been trying to explain in the best way what he taught when they heard the commotion.
"Should we go check?" Rachel asked.
Keith just chuckled. "No. Trust me, that's normal."
Rachel looked from him to the door; her mother was still yelling something downstairs. "Are you sure? Because that is Shelby's murder voice."
Keith frowned deeply for a second, and then smirked.
"My daughter has a murderous tone?"
Rachel wasn't sure what type of relationship Shelby had with her family, but she guessed it wouldn't be too bad to reveal that, so she just nodded.
"She can have a very 'take no prisoners' stance at work. At least when she was in the show choir circle, people didn't like to antagonize her. She had a reputation for being ruthless."
Her grandfather's grin only became bigger at that confirmation.
"Did she, now? Well, I thought I would never say this, but I guess little Shelby has more of her mother in her than any of us could have guessed."
Rachel gaped, internally disagreeing with that assessment. Granted, she probably didn't know Shelby or Eleanor as much as Keith did, but Shelby was usually nice. Regardless of her screw ups in the past, she had the same try-hard personality as Rachel, and she had this passionate affection behind her walls.
"I didn't mean to say that Shelby has an unkind personality. Once she lets you in, she's amazing," Rachel stuttered hurriedly, hoping to explain her point of view better. Keith squeezed her shoulder and gave her an understanding smile.
"So is your grandmother. And I'm going to guess you got the ice barrier at first. Don't worry, it melts."
Rachel acquiesced, mostly because she wanted everybody else to be right, and she was the type of person that believed in wanting something bad enough to make it true. But also because it probably wouldn't be nice to spend the next few days being sure that her grandmother was a crazy ice queen that had worn everybody down with the occasional break from her frostiness. Rachel was an optimist and she had faith, so she was putting all of her faith on her mother's family in that week, believing they were going to become her family in some way too; and it didn't matter if she had anything to back it up, or if, like with Shelby, she was wronged before everything was righted. Because her faith was unbreakable.