Chapter XV
Not a Single Word was Said
Serena was on the bed, her blonde hair fanning out around her face. Her pillows had been built up, obviously by the ever caring Dan, so she was raised in bed, like someone in a hospital. At the sight of Blair and Chuck she tried to sit up, but quickly gave up on it as her head began to swim, her hand immediately going to hold it and a sharp hiss escaping her lips.
"Hey, hey are you okay?" Dan asked anxiously, quickly rushing to her side and taking her hand.
"Fine," she replied weakly, looking up at him and offering a weak smile. "But I uh…I still can't…"
"Remember?" Chuck interposed here, he was about to say being drugged would do that to you but Blair stepped heavily on his foot with her heel, causing him to shut his mouth abruptly. She glared at him, obviously warning him to be patient with the blonde girl.
"What happened, why are Chuck and Dan here…B?" Serena's voice cracked slightly, confusion and frustration causing tears to pool in her large blue eyes as she looked pleadingly up at her friend. Dan squeezed her hand slightly in support, and she squeezed back. He too however was looking at Serena's best friend with demanding eyes.
You would think the leggy blonde would be used to these types of situations by now. She had woken up without a memory plenty of times without anyone else's help. But Blair knew every time it frightened Serena like it was the first, like she could never understand this was the consequence for her actions. And this time it wasn't even her fault. Perhaps she had been too trusting, but one of them needed to be and it sure as hell wasn't Chuck, Blair or even Nate now.
"Do you…do you remember anything?" Blair asked, unsticking her mouth and trying to keep her face calming as she went to sit beside Serena on the bed. Chuck stayed where he was, she could tell the other boy wanted to slink out and pour himself another glass. He hated any sort of display of emotion. But to her surprise he stayed standing there, a solid support for her or Serena she wasn't sure, she appreciated it nonetheless.
Serena furrowed her brow in concentration, trying to pick out a memory from the frightening blank space in her mind at the prompting of her friend.
"I remember…Eric…we were watching DVD's," she said in small voice. "And then…something about Damien…"
"You went to have a drink with him?" Blair prompted her friend.
"Yes…I think…" Serena drew the words out slowly and unsurely, looking at Blair with confusion, still not understanding.
"He drugged your drink," Chuck supplied boredly as Blair was about to reply to Serena's fear. His posture spoke of indifference. He didn't even look at Serena, though all eyes had snapped to him.
"No..he can't have," Serena protested weakly, her eyes wide. "He wouldn't…I would have known,"
"He did, and you didn't know," Chuck interposed here, his hazel eyes unwavering as he now looked at the distressed girl.
"That's enough," Dan protested to Chuck's blunt delivery, his fingers curling into a fist though his anger was pounding for someone else.
Chuck looked at the other boy but didn't say anything further. He'd already said what was needed. Serena was clutching her hair now, some more memories raising their head, Damien with that wide toothy grin that once seemed so endearing but in retrospect was predatory. His strange turn of mood after she had rejected him. His odd insistence that she drink…And then another thought invaded her mind.
"He didn't…oh God he didn't touch me," she said, looking up now her voice breaking as she looked down at the gown she was wearing and the robe. Why did they have to change her clothes? And where were they, she hadn't even noticed the room was unfamiliar, the bed… Oh God it was disgusting, she needed to get away from it now. What had happened? She couldn't remember anything and fear choked her.
"No he didn't," Blair quickly said, grabbing Serena's arm and steadying her as she made to scrabble out of bed. "S, he didn't," she repeated as Serena's panicked blue eyes met her steady brown ones. "Chuck made sure of it." She added this last bit to redeem Cuck of his previous crass behaviour. She knew he had just been trying to help in his own way, trying to say the words quickly and directly, like ripping off a band aid. Her words did have some effect, making Dan and Chuck stop their Mexican stand off with different expressions.
"Chuck…he…?" Dan queried.
"Punched Damien, hard," Blair said, setting her stubborn chin as she glanced up at Chuck.
Serena looked up at the other boy with wide blue eyes, her face showing her shock, and then slowly appreciation swelled.
"Chuck…I…" she began, Chuck avoided both her and Dan's gaze. He should have revelled in it, being the hero, but instead he felt nothing but unreasonable annoyance. It wasn't rational, and probably at any other time, for any other reason, he would have been revelling like a narcissist, arrogantly smug at the debt he was now owed. But even he couldn't help remembering this was a debt being paid.
"I've just remembered security," he drawled, turning for the bedroom door, "I'll be back."
Before anyone could say anything to this he had shut the bedroom door behind him. Blair went as if to rise and follow him, but Serena gently touched her fingers, stopping her.
"We have to call the police," Dan finally said, his jaw clenched. His hand enveloped Serena's long slim fingers, gripping them hard.
"No," Serena protested loudly before Blair could decide whether to give her assent or not.
"Serena, what do you mean no?" Dan demanded, disbelievingly looking down at the blonde.
"No, we can't Dan…Mom, and Eric they won't…I just don't want it to become some big thing."
"Not a big thing that he roofied you and then brought you up to a hotel room?" Dan repeated dumbly.
"She means she doesn't want to be in the papers, in the front of magazines. A diplomats son, a society girl, can you imagine the kind of media hell that will be?" Blair explained, understanding her best friends reasoning immediately. She didn't add 'not to mention Serena's past, which would no doubt be dregged up and used by the defence to suggest she'd just had a wild night on the town and was now using it to destroy a poor innocent boy.' The most unpleasant thought was would Lilly even believe her daughter?
Dan didn't seem to need these things explained however, she could tell he was thinking about her words, reading the hidden meaning. He was smarter than Blair had thought.
"Does that really matter though?" Dan finally said, appealing to Serena now. "Serena, if Chuck hadn't…" his throat grew tight at this, the anger and fear pounding through him. "He needs to pay."
"And he will," Blair said smoothly, her and Chuck had already begun formulating a few plans.
"No," Serena interposed here once more, her voice firmer as she grabbed Blair's hand, looking at her best friend desperately. "You can't B. I just…I was so stupid to even trust someone like that…But I won't give him the satisfaction of…of even thinking about him."
"That's very mature of you S," Blair began sweetly in her placating tone that suggested she knew best. "But-"
"You'll just make things worse. If you and Chuck start something, it will be all over Gossip Girl, and then everyone will find out," Serena pointed out firmly, showing Blair she knew what she was up to and she didn't want it that way. "You have to promise me B. You're not going to go after him, you or Chuck. Promise Blair."
Blair looked at the blonde, her friends voice was firm, her eyes set. When Serena set her mind to something it was very hard to dissuade her of it. And this time, perhaps the blonde did have a point. Perhaps scheming against Damien would result in speculation and the dragging of all their names through the mud. Rumours were always more twisted then the truth. If there was some way she could guarantee that Serena's name wouldn't be brought into it, she would have gone ahead without the bat of an eyelid. But somehow Gossip Girl always managed to guess, and she didn't think she could do that to Serena, not on top of tonight.
"Fine," she sighed heavily, "I give my word we won't go after him."
"But-" Dan began heatedly, he had almost been banking on Blair's need for revenge and the sick pleasure she took in watching others fall.
"Dan, please?" Serena beseeched, looking up at the other boy with wide beseeching blue eyes. Dan looked down at her, unable to continue his protestations as the dam seemed to burst and tears began tracing a track down her sun kissed cheeks.
"Hey, hey it's okay," Dan said, his voice slightly gruff as he took Serena in his strong arms and cradled her. "I promise, we'll do it your way. It's going to be okay."
Blair hesitated for a second, but as she saw Serena bury her face in Dan's shoulder and wrap her arms around him like he was some sort of life belt keeping her afloat, she decided her friend was taken care of. Rising softly and quietly she shared a look with Dan. He nodded imperceptibly, and she turned and walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind her. Turning she headed for the exit. Now it was time to take care of a certain dark eyed friend. She supposed there really was no rest for the wicked.
Nate smiled as he watched Vanessa talk enthusiastically about the film they had just seen. It was in French, so Nate had only caught ever fifth word, but somehow he had still enjoyed it. They were now walking home, their hands intertwined naturally.
"What?" Vanessa asked, a smile spreading across her cheeks as she noticed his blue eyes were trained on her. "You're bored right? I'm sorry sometimes I just get so passionate about these things…"
"No, no," Nate quickly protested, smiling and showing his perfect white teeth and dimple. "Actually what you said makes a lot of sense. Besides I love how passionate you are." His grin turned kind of sheepish but endearing, he pulled her towards him and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "Besides, even if you were speaking about the stone age I'd still owe you for saving me from the famous Humphrey chilli. I wasn't sure how much more I could shove into my napkin without Rufus noticing. Ice cream desserts were like heave in comparison."
Vanessa laughed, her eyes conceding the point.
"It's not that bad," she tried to defend her best friends father's culinary skills.
"No, the first plateful Is great. But after three nights in a row?…The Humphreys are super nice, and I don't want to hurt Dan's feelings, but if he invites me to dinner one more night and it's chilli again, I'm going to get desperate." He laughed, showing her he was joking, that he was appreciative of his friend.
"Well I think Dan's just trying to get you away from all those microwave meals," Vanessa said, something not true ringing in her voice as she forced a smile, looking at him with probing eyes.
"I've got a cook," Nate defended, forcing himself to sound easy. They had a cook after all, had being the operative word. "Anyway I was wondering about that dream in the movie, was it just me or did it make no sense whatsoever?"
Vanessa laughed at his cluelessness, easily distracted as Nate wanted, as she began a speal about the symbolism of the scene.
"Well this is my stop," she said a few blocks later as they pulled up in front of the battered door up to her apartment. She looked up at Nate, her eyes piercing, hesitating. "You sure you'll be okay to get home? Maybe you should just crash at Dan's."
"Nah, I'll just grab a taxi," Nate said carefully, brushing his blonde fringe from his eyes.
"But the loft is so much closer," Vanessa pressed. "I mean I would offer here, but between me and my sister there isn't room to swing a cat. But there's plenty of room in the loft, I'm sure the offer is still on the table and Rufus loves you…"
"I'll be fine," Nate said, slightly annoyed at her pushing.
There was a slight awkward pause between them.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Nate said quietly, breaking it and trying to bring back the warmth. He lent down to press a soft kiss on Vanessa's cheek, but she hesitated, evidently warring with something.
"Nate is there something you need to tell me?" she finally asked, her eyes piercing as she analysed his reaction.
"Like what?" Nate asked easily, a slight edge to his voice.
"Look…Dan talks in his sleep sometimes when he's stressed, and Jenny overheard him…and I wasn't so sure if I believed it so I came down to your house this morning and…" Vanessa said in a rush, trying to explain to him.
"You what?" Nate demanded, retrieving his hand from her and stepping back, a frown over taking his face.
"Look Nate, I don't get why you kept this from us. Dan is your friend, I'm your girlfriend…"
"It's because it's none of your business Vanessa," he snapped angrily. "I'm handling it."
"Handling it how?" Vanessa asked in frustration. "By practically being homeless."
"Look, we may have gone on a few dates, but that doesn't give you the right to interfere in my life. You're not Se-" he trailed off here heatedly.
"Who Nate? Serena?" Vanessa demanded, bitterness choking her. "I guess if she offered you a place to stay in her penthouse suite you would jump at the chance."
"That's not what I meant," Nate snapped himself. "Just keep this to yourself, okay." With that he abruptly turned without even saying goodbye, striding down the street.
"Nate wait," Vanessa relented after a minute, calling after him. She knew he heard, his step faltered somewhat, but he continued walking and her pride wouldn't let her call out again.
Chuck slid his phone open with one flick of his thumb, glancing at the Gossip Girl post once more.
Spotted: N & V, holding hands at the front of a theatre. C drinking alone at the Palace bar. Rather sad all around really.xoxo GG
His mouth twisted into a sneer at Gossip Girl's words. Other than the earlier post about Serena drinking with Damien, the gossip monger had posted nothing further about the socialite. Chuck was hoping it would stay that way. The picture of Nate and Vanessa did nothing for his stomach however. At times like these he would have called his best friend to get smashed with him, like all good friends do. Unfortunately, even if Nate did have his phone, Chuck was certain the other boy would not be answering his calls. The circumstances in which Chuck had reconciled with Serena did not make his mood any better.
Chuck indicated the bar tender for another one. He had opted to take a familiar bar stool near the kitchen exit, ignoring the woman sitting further down who was giving him looks. The dim light of the bar, supposed to create a mood, merely reflected his own shadowy thoughts. He wondered how many more glasses it would take for him to get drunk. It was times like these he cursed rather then was proud of the fact he had a high threshold for alcohol. He quickly took the full glass of scotch from the bar tender without even glancing at him. He drowned half the glass in one go, feeling it burn down his throat. He put it down on the black chrome surface, his eyes trained on the amber liquid as he tried to feel the relevant buzz and the fuzzy edge which usually followed it.
He noticed the brown curls and heels in his peripheral vision, but he didn't look up, concentrating on the bottom of his glass. She slid onto the tall stool next to him, placing her clutch on the surface, and shaking her head in the negative at the bar tenders look. They sat like that in silence for a little while. Of course she would know where to find him, there was no need to go far when there was a bar inside the building he lived.
"Here, I had them erase the hard copy," Chuck suddenly drawled. Without glancing up he took the small square plastic sleeve from his inside pocket, handing it to Blair lazily. She glanced at the disc, knowing it would contain the visual footage of Serena stumbling with Damien up to the hotel room 173. If he hadn't retrieved it immediately, Bart no doubt would have been made aware of his step daughters behaviour, and that would probably have led to all sorts of awkward questioning and interference. Chuck was efficient and always one step ahead, just like her.
"How?" she asked, placing the disc into her clutch, just in case Serena changed her mind. Though Chuck could buy many things from many people, he usually found the security force at the Palace impenetrable and loyal to his father, something which had irked him over the years.
"Sergei owes me a favour," he smirked, glancing at her now with heavy lids. "Especially after I caught him doing-"
"Please," Blair said, raising a hand and an amused eyebrow. "Some things even I don't want to imagine."
Chuck conceded the point, after all Sergei the security guard who oversaw the video surveillance wasn't exactly in his prime, unlike the black clad men on the floor. He was a portly Russian, who had the smell of vodka about him and a receding hairline.
"It wasn't pleasant," he smirked in acquiesce as she scrunched up her nose in disgust.
"Serena doesn't want to do anything," she said quietly after a pause where he took another sip of his scotch.
He glanced over at her, raising his eyebrows in scorn. "And you're going to do as she asks?" he queried knowingly smirking in disbelief.
"Yes," Blair replied simply, surprising Chuck. "She doesn't want anyone to find out, and if we retaliate everyone will know. We'll bide our time, get him later."
Chuck paused at this, wondering whether to argue the point or not. He gave up however, he would use almost anything to scheme with Blair and get closer to her, but maybe not this.
"It makes me really glad that you punched him though," she added, smiling slightly as he turned back to his scotch to show his consent and co-operation.
"Right," Chuck murmured bitterly, drowning the rest of it down in one go. When he put down the glass to his surprise Blair moved hesitantly, fitfully touching the hand that clasped the glass tightly with her soft fingers.
"You're different Chuck," she said confidently. He looked up with surprise, meeting her open brown eyes; her red lips were set in a thoughtful line. He should have guessed she would know what he was thinking about, even if he didn't fully realise.
"What was different?" he drawled, keeping his tone uncaring. "I wanted something and I was going to take it. I'm Chuck Bass remember?"
She didn't withdraw her fingers in disgust as he half expected, she could always read through him.
"Exactly, you're Chuck Bass. You might make lewd suggestions, you might even steal a kiss and a touch if you're really drunk, but you would never, ever go through with it," she said confidently, displaying more trust in him then he knew she should.
He smirked, shaking his head in disbelief. "I believe there are two ladies who would beg to differ," he drawled blasé, as if he didn't care. He shouldn't care, he wouldn't normally. But for some reason he found tonight had made him think about it, and he didn't like the feeling.
"You're different Chuck…That was different," Blair stipulated, a second meaning in her voice. He glanced up at her now, she knew then, had known. She would, wouldn't she? He can't remember if he told her, it didn't matter. She saw it every year at the same time, saw how he always got extremely high and drunk and disappeared for days on end behind a haze. It was the time he was most fun, the time he was most dangerous. It was the time Chuck disappeared completely behind Chuck Bass. It was the only way he could cope with his father's odd absence from work, the flowers he took every year to a site he would never disclose to Chuck.
It didn't absolve him of anything, her eyes didn't. She just showed him she understood.
He looked at her, wondering how easy it would be to just lean closer, cup her face with his hand and put his lips to hers. But is this what he wanted, what she deserved? Here and now, in these circumstances. Maybe she deserved better, but he knew he wasn't prepared to give her up. He was never the self-sacrificing type. Just maybe for tonight…
"I have to go," he murmured, retrieving his hand not unkindly from hers. He took out his wallet, throwing a few notes on the bar. Blair didn't say anything, just watched him as he rose and left. His fingers brushing her back slightly, his hazel eyes letting her know he was grateful for her presence, even if he would never admit it aloud. After he had disappeared through the exit she let out a small gust of pent up air she hadn't even realised she had been holding, her shoulders slumping slightly. She glanced at the glass of scotch he had been nursing, it was empty.
She had seen a facet of Chuck tonight she had almost forgotten about. The vulnerable boy, the loyal friend, (she ignored the self-loathing mess that was hidden under the hooded eyes and the drawling voice, who didn't have their inner demons on the Upper East Side?) She thought it would be harder to decide then this, but she realised she had made been making it far too complicated, and looking at it now it really wasn't a decision at all. Now all she had to do was let Chuck realise that too.
Gathering her clutch she walked out, heading for the shiny glass doors of the hotel and out onto the cool New York street.
One Week Later
"No," Serena giggled, quickly backing up as Dan tried to dab her nose with the cold mess. In one hand he held a bowl full of bubble gum ice cream, the other hand was occupied with placing the finger he had dipped in the cold cream onto her lightly freckled nose. Serena's retreat was stopped by her back hitting the cold hard fridge, Dan grinned triumphantly, swooping in for the kill. However before his finger could touch Serena's nose she bit it gently, grinning. Dan paused, slightly stunned at the turn of events, but not unpleasantly so as Serena released his finger and her lips met his.
"Ah-hum," Eric cleared his throat loudly. He'd been sitting at the kitchen counter while this scene was unfolding, a bowl of chocolate ice cream in front of him, still decked in his school uniform. "Little brother sitting here remember."
Dan quickly broke away from Serena, colouring in embarrassment. Serena used the opportunity to dip her own finger in his bowl, smudging the ice cream across his cheek.
"Hey," Dan protested at the unfair play, wiping the ice cream off.
"I thought you could do with some more colour," Serena laughed. She quickly turned her eyes to Eric and away from Dan's tempting helpless look. "Shouldn't a certain little brother be out with his boyfriend."
"Jonathon has swimming practice," Eric shrugged. He had been used to giving such evasive answers lately. He wasn't sure why he didn't just talk to Serena about his problems with the other boy. Maybe it had something to do with the fact he knew Serena, Chuck and Dan were all hiding something about last Friday night from him, and he felt like being spiteful in return.
Before Serena could interrogate him further the elevator made that familiar annoying sound, indicating someone was entering the suite. Sure enough Bart walked in, suitcase in hand and suit on. He'd been trying to get in earlier from the office, so far he'd made it home before seven in two nights out of five. You had to give him props for trying, Lilly had commented dryly to Eric on one such night. Eric, feeling uncomfortable and wanting to defend Bart, who really had been more involved, had ended up biting his tongue and saying nothing, like he usually did to his mother.
"Eric, Serena, Dan," Bart acknowledged them, no surprise on his face at the sight of the Brooklynite in their kitchen. Ever since Friday night, where Serena had gone MIA, sneaking into the suite in the early hours of the morning, Dan and Serena seemed to be spending every waking minute together. Whatever had brought them together, and Gossip Girl had many theories, they seemed stronger than ever, and even more enamoured if that was possible. Bart frowned slightly as he did a head count of the children in the room.
"Where's Charles?" he queried, his lips thinning. Lilly and him had elicited a promise from Eric, Serena and Chuck that they would make it home for dinner this Thursday night, to spend time as a 'family.' It was already five thirty, and Chuck didn't look like he was returning home soon.
"Uh…he got an A in his literature paper," Dan supplied suddenly, trying to fill the awkward silence as Serena was evidently trying to think of an excuse. Bart had directed the question to her, knowing she was the weakest link.
Bart turned his blue eyes to Dan, his brows furrowing slightly in confusion.
"We uh…got them back early. Boy does that Ms Fraser mark fast. And he got an A, well an A minus, which I have to admit is kind of annoying seeing as I spent about three weeks writing mine while-" he cut off in his ramblings here, realising he was doing Chuck no favours, even though he was actually trying to help. "Anyway it was uh, pretty good."
"You read it?" Serena queried, her attention turned as she looked at Dan with surprise. She was still trying to get her head around the fact Chuck and Dan were no longer sharing hostile looks and vindictive snide remarks, though admittedly they weren't exactly best friends either.
"I am his tutor," Dan said, as if it was a normal fact.
"An A minus, huh?" Bart queried, to all three's surprise he had actually been distracted, looking thoughtful at the news.
"Uh, yeah, I'm just that good. That was a joke by the way," Dan said quickly at Bart's look.
"If you'd be so kind could one of you let me know when Chuck gets in," he said cooly instead of replying to Dan's bumblings. With that he turned and made his way up the stairs.
They waited for the click of the door to let them know he was safely in his room before they breathed easy again.
"So, where is Chuck then?" Eric queried. He felt proud of the older boy, and slightly hurt now they were reconciled that he hadn't come to celebrate and gloat about the news with his brother. It seemed like as much as he'd been seeing of Dan he'd been seeing less of Chuck, who was holed up in 1812, supposedly studying if his short texts were to be believed, and maybe they were in light of this news.
"Probably at Blair's," Serena shrugged.
"Yeah, and I've got to say he probably has a chance. I mean after Fr-" he cut off here at Serena's wide eyed look and Eric's inquisitive one.
"What happened Friday?" Eric interrogated.
"Nothing," Serena said, her voice strained. "Dan, seeing as this family dinner looks like it isn't going to happen, you want to catch dinner at Butters?"
"Butters? You know I live to have dinner among pretentious people from our class taking pictures of us for Gossip Girl while commenting on my lack of tuna sandwiches," Dan replied wryly.
"Great," Serena chirped, smiling sunnily she grabbed Dan's hand and her purse from the counter, barely giving him time to shove the ice cream bowl on the table, heading for the elevator quickly and ignoring Eric's persistent 'What happened on Friday?"
At the sound of the elevator doors sliding shut decisively behind them Eric sighed. He looked down at his full bowl of melted ice cream, and let his spoon clang into the bowl. Also rising and not bothering to change, he headed for the elevator himself.
Once Eric exited the revolving glass doors of the Palace and the soles of his shoes hit the pavement outside the entrance courtyard, he realised he had no idea where he was going to go. He was now certain Jonathon and him were over, seeing as they hadn't spoken in over a week. Jenny was probably working late at Eleanor's again while lying to Rufus about a study group. And as Eric walked among the pedestrians milling on the sidewalk, he acutely felt how lonely he really was. It was almost like when Serena had left…He tried not to let his mind go down that road again though. It wasn't that bad, everyone was just occupied. Once life quieted down again he was sure…well he hoped things would get better.
He was so occupied in his thoughts he didn't see the figure until he'd already bumped into him. He muttered an automatic sorry, looking up, when he realised the other pedestrian was a familiar face.
"Damien, hey," he said, smiling at the older boy. He had asked Serena how the drinks had gone, and she had been evasive, muttering something about Damien wanting more than friendship…and Serena loving Dan, then she quickly changed the subject with over forced enthusiasm to any other topic she could grasp at. Eric privately thought his sister had been unfair to the other boy, just because she was dating Dan now didn't mean she had to stop talking to other boys completely. Her and Nate had slept together for goodness sake and they were still friends, and Dan didn't seem to have a problem with it.
"Eric, hey," Damien said, smiling that familiar toothy grin. "How are you? Long time no see."
"Yeah," Eric grinned, remembering how they'd hit all the burger joints the day they first met. He hadn't laughed that much since he'd first started hanging out with Chuck. Of course Chuck seemed a bit too preoccupied now to have Wii death matches and just talk with the younger boy.
"Look I uh…I was just about to grab some dinner, you want to join me?" Damien asked, looking at the other boy with a small awkward inviting smile. "I understand of course…if you have other plans…" he quickly said as Eric looked at him with wide eyes.
"No, no I don't," Eric quickly said. "Actually dinner would be great."
"Great," Damien echoed, showing all his teeth as he smiled and slinging his arm familiarly over the younger boys shoulder. "So, how's everything been with you?"
Chuck nervously fixed his bowtie in the narrow glass in the Waldorf elevator. He frowned slightly at his hair, brushing his hand through it once more and trying to fix it just right. He smelt heavily of Tiffany's male cologne, a present Blair had given him last year. It was sentimental trite, but he had put it on knowing that she would appreciate the effort. In one hand he carried a bouquet of perfect pink peonies, in the other four stapled pieces of paper with neatly typed black print. On the front page a prominent red A- was visible. He had thought it was worth a plus, but it didn't matter really, all that mattered was the letter, and it was the right one.
If he really examined his feelings, why he had bothered to primp, ensure everything was perfect in his appearance. Why his chest felt tight and his stomach squeamish, it was because this was far more than a bet now. Far more than an attempt to seduce Blair. That A was the proof, proof along with the situation with Eric, along with Friday night and his fist connecting with Damien's face. Perhaps it was proof that Chuck could be that man, the one Blair wanted. It wasn't just talk anymore, 'I could if I wanted to',' would if I tried'. It was quantifiable, a letter right there in red on his paper, a paper he'd written himself, symbolising perhaps there was something more to Chuck Bass, something worthy of Blair Waldorf. That's why he felt it so acutely, that this night meant something more. He was on the edge of a precipe between his known life, and the unknown. But he tried not to examine these feelings too closely, if he did he probably would have pressed the emergency button and stopped the elevator from ascending right then and there.
As if to prove to him that he was too late to reconsider, the elevator stopped and the doors slid open, the foyer of the Waldorf suite open to him. Chuck stepped out, looking at the hydrangia arrangement on the table and the piano as if with fresh nervous eyes. Dorota quickly appeared on the stairs, looking down at him with wide eyes.
"Dorota, would you please be able to tell Blair I'm here," he said, as always polite to the maid, his throat hoarse as it suddenly felt very dry.
"Misses Blair is busy," Dorota replied, her face closed.
"Well, can you at least make her aware I'm here," Chuck replied, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice as he forced a charming smile. "I'm willing to wait."
He watched the maid with resolute eyes. She took in his appearance, the pink poenies in his hand, the purple suit. The way his legs were slightly apart, his stance showing her he was in it for the long haul. Relenting she nodded and turned, he didn't resent her judgment, she was merely trying to protect Blair and he could understand that.
As soon as she disappeared up the stair well Chuck felt restless. His legs took him towards the piano, needing some sort of movement in his body to keep himself from running hard and fast as his instincts were screaming for him to do. That's when he noticed it, frowning slightly he lay down the paper on the shining black surface, picking up the jacket already laying there instead. It was a soccer jumper, a familiar site for Chuck, especially considering it had Archibald monogrammed on the corner breast pocket.
Without even noticing it Chuck let the poenies drop to the floor, bile rising in his throat. He threw the jacket down with disgust back onto the piano top, sparing one dark glance to the room hidden upstairs he turned and stalked out.
"I know it was well meant, but how could Dan let Jenny find out. And then how could she think it was a good idea to tell my girl friend?" Nate pointed out to Blair in frustration, looking at the brunette with those endearing green blue eyes. Blair barely restrained herself from throttling the boy, what was with it with men and their inability to ever accept help from anyone, even when they were practically homeless? Of course they had no problem coming to Blair with all their problems, that had always been the way with the four.
She glanced at the small Parisian clock, shaped like the Eiffel tower on her bedside table. There essay marks had been released today, Blair had gotten an A of course, the minus was not so welcome but luckily it was only worth 10%. Not so lucky was the fact she hadn't seen Chuck all day, and her hopes he would find her were looking less likely as the minutes ticked by.
"Nate, you know I'm the last person ever, ever, ever to defend a Brooklynite. But did you ever think perhaps they were just trying to honestly be nice? No ulterior motives, no wishes for charity. Just good old, honest to goodness, niceness?" she tried to keep the disgust out of her voice. "I mean, you know I would offer here if it weren't for Mom," she rolled her eyes at Eleanor's strict rule of no boys over, even though they both knew Blair didn't exactly follow it when her mother was away. "Serena would if you'd tell her, and Chuck-" she let the word hang as Nate's jaw tightened. She knew the other boy was still harbouring a grudge towards Chuck, although she was beginning to suspect it was more out of pride then any real anger. "You wouldn't think we were doing charity. So why do you find it so hard to say yes to a Humphrey? Unless you've finally admitted that we are so much more superior to them and you're going to break up with that bohemian mess as fast as a text can be sent."
"Blair," Nate admonished, and she shrugged, it was worth a try. "I guess…I guess you're right…"he said hesitantly, finally admitting what he probably already knew, though his pride wouldn't allow him to admit it.
"I always am," Blair said superiorly, "Now all you need to do is apologize to Vanessa…loathe as I am to say that, and your-"
"Miss Blair," Dorota interrupted Blair's words with a quick rap on her door, her face appearing a moment later.
"Dorota, can't you see I'm busy," Blair said.
"I'm sorry, but Meester Chuck is waiting downstairs, he said…" Blair didn't hear the rest, jumping off the bed as if she had been electrocuted. She quickly rushed to the door, when she reached it she glanced back at Nate, remembering him.
"Go, it's okay," Nate chuckled. He'd heard about the bet from Serena and was grinning slightly, momentarily forgetting his grudge against Chuck. "I'll leave through the service entrance. Thanks for the adv-" before he could finish Blair was already gone.
Before Blair's heels met the bottom step her eyes were already raking across the foyer, however no smirking Chuck met her eye. The room was oddly empty. Pausing with her fingers on the banister Blair frowned slightly in confusion. Her eyes caught the pink peonies on the floor, Nate's sports jacket beside it and her heart sank. She rushed forward, looking down at the flowers, guessing what Chuck must have thought. Before she could turn and rush to the elevator her eye caught the white paper resting on the piano. Urgency told her to leave now, however curiosity held her fast, making her hands reach out and take up the essay. The A- was clearly on the front, the red making her heart rise and then dip slightly. Her eyes brushed across the words softly. It had some mistakes, but all in all was well written. Flicking through the paper she was caught most by the last paragraph. The eloquence of the words, but mainly the sentiment behind them held her.
"To Heathcliff it seemed as if love was his destruction, and revenge was his deliverance. Two opposing ideas that were forever intertwined. As long as love survived he had the chance to be saved. Love kept Heathcliff from revenge. However once the object of his life was destroyed at his own hand he consciously took the path of revenge, the path of self-destruction. By taking revenge against Cathy's child, he was taking revenge against himself. In this way revenge was his deliverance. By punishing himself, destroying any chance of redemption, he was destroying any vestige of the man left in him, carving away the part of himself that had ever loved. Delivering himself from the pain. For once Cathy was gone 'the world was a strange place' to him. Love became his enemy, torturing him unbearably for the harm he had done her, revenge his friend, helping him escape. In the end however it was love that was his true deliverance, the one redeeming quality that led him back to her. His inability to forget her was his continuing ability to let love in. Torture it may have been, but it is 'better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all.' In the end revenge may have driven Heathcliff, but it was love that consumed him."
With paper still in hand she turned and ran for the elevator, not even bothering to put on a coat. She had to find Chuck now.
Chuck placed his hand on the blondes tanned thigh, she smiled up at him invitingly and he forced a smirk, taking another large gulp of his scotch. He wanted to get drunk, he wanted to get high, and most of all he wanted to get lost. What better way to do that than with a leggy blonde at the Palace bar? And she wasn't disappointing, tracing a pattern on his lapel with her finger.
"Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private," she whispered into his ear, her voice forced into a husky tone, attempting to be sexy.
"Maybe," Chuck smirked, turning his face as if to kiss her on the neck. That's when he was hit with the smell, the light wafting of Chanel No 5 she had obviously dabbed on her neck. Not saturated, just that perfect amount, enough to smell if you were lucky enough to get close. The perfume invaded his senses, making him think of a brunette with doe eyes and red lips.
Without a word Chuck pushed the blonde away and rose, not even bothering to take care of the drink, they could charge it to his tab. He stalked out, not hearing her disgruntled insults.
He found himself up in 1812 minutes later, a scotch tumbler in hand, slumped on a stool beside the breakfast bar. He could still smell Chanel No 5, and it made him sick. How could he even think she would wait for him, someone as damaged and twisted as he was. Nathaniel was so much better for her, he always had been and Chuck supposed he always would be.
The door clicked open but Chuck didn't bother to look up, instead rising and getting up to head towards his bedroom. Increasingly this week, whenever Dan was unavailable Serena had taken to coming up to 1812. She insisted on keeping the events of Friday night secret from Eric, claiming the younger boy had other things to worry about. But the problem with that plan was that she had always been a terrible liar. So she used Chuck's suite as a sanctuary. He hadn't minded so much, mainly sticking to his room writing his essay while she watched Jersey Shore. But tonight was not a good one.
"Serena I'm not in the mood for your whining, you know your way out," he drawled, carrying the scotch tumbler with him and strolling towards his room without bothering to turn at the sound of heels on floorboard.
"Chuck," her voice made him freeze. Maybe he would have realised sooner if he hadn't consumed quite so many glasses tonight, but her voice was unmistakable, he would know it anywhere.
"What are you doing here?" he finally spat, turning around and looking at her with accusing eyes. She stood before him, still in her school uniform (she hadn't had a chance to change, Nate ambushed her shortly after she had gotten home.) Anything else he was planning to say died on his lips as he saw the familiar paper still clutched in her hand.
"I read it," she said quietly, breaking the silence. "It was good."
"Let me guess, yours was better," he commented, trying to sneer but failing miserably as he desperately grabbed the paper from her hand and balled it up. "How about you go celebrate with Nathaniel." He never thought he could ever hate his best friend, but damn he was feeling close to that emotion right now as he ineffectively threw the scrunched mess towards the trash can and it fell short. He went to turn again but Blair suddenly grabbed his hand, forcefully turning him around and placing her lips firmly and demandingly on his.
He let her do it, tasting the familiar strawberries, smelling Chanel No 5, glorying in her soft lashes fluttering against his cheek. She was the one to break away, breathing heavily, looking up at him with doe brown eyes.
"Nate came over to talk about Vanessa," she said, breaking the silence again. He could tell she was telling the truth, though a part of him wanted to stay angry, he told it to shut the hell up. Impulsively he grabbed her with his free hand, shoved the scotch tumbler on the nearby counter as he kissed her hungrily. He was now free to take her up in both arms, turning her so her back pressed against the counter. She didn't stop him, though before things could continue, and against his better judgment, he pulled away.
"You only owed me a kiss," he pointed out huskily, looking at her. He was thwarting his own plan, but he didn't care, he just wanted to make sure she knew what she was getting into.
"I know," she smiled, "But I want this, whatever this is. I want you."
He paused at this, at the intensity of her voice, the sincerity in her eyes. She was tired of playing games, tired of denying herself. She just wanted to be together. And he knew then, felt it well up.
"I…I…" he struggled with the words, they were there on the tip of his tongue, struggling to break free from his heart, and yet they were choking him too. The silence stretched as he didn't continue, disappointment showed in her eyes but instead of drawing away in anger and rejection she lent forward and kissed him softly and slowly on his lips.
"Are you sure?" he asked hoarsely when she broke away, searching her brown eyes. Was she sure she wanted this, whatever it was. This twisted broken thing. Him the way he was, no 'I love you's', no knights in shining armour, just Chuck Bass.
She answered him with another kiss, hungrier this time, and he didn't ask again.
A/N: There you go, Chuck and Blair together again lol. For how long, who knows? = P.
Hope this wasn't too corny, but oh well. Sorry it took so long, just got internet back finally!
Thanks so much for the reviews last chapter: mlharper, TerraBeth, socialitegirl, ellibells, svenjen, Curious Blonde and Temp02 .
Please, if you read, review. = )
Up Next: The mirrors in the St Judes toilets can get pretty steamed up lol. A mockumentary needs to be filmed, but it seems to turn into a documentary. And a little game of truth or dare.
Inspirational picture for chapter: google: "0318-chuck2" it's the first pic.
Inspirational song for end of chapter: Fix You by Coldplay. Lol no idea why...just cause...