I am once again updating from College instead of revising for my exam which is tomorrow. I also wrote a FUCK lot yesterday rather than revising because I felt so bad for leaving you guys so long. I have one or two chapter to upload after this one. PLEASE review?
LOVE LOVE LOEV you guys who have stuck with me :) xx
Days passed and nothing happened, I was really starting to believe that now that John had accepted it (I had the worst habit of calling whatever me and John had 'it' ) he didn't want any of it. The more I thought of this, the more I got uneasy I don't know why. I didn't want my best friend. I never had and I never would. I loved John. Yes. More than anything on this earth, he got me through everything, drugs, my divorce, bad matches, being out on injury, dealing with my temper, just being there to deal with my bullshit more so when everyone else couldn't be bothered. I'm willing to bet the house - that I now don't own Samantha does - that anything I asked John to do he would, and I know he knows the feelings are the same.
Not feelings. No. It wasn't feelings per say it was - I groaned in frustration ending the mental conversation with myself.
I do not love John Cena as more than a friend - a brother. I don't lust for him, I don't want him - I am not checking him out from across the gym.
I put my weights down and took a drink from my bottle. I checked the clock and noticed I had successfully wasted any spare time I had and got up to get ready for my match. Tonight it wasn't John I was wrestling with though and my heart sank lightly though I had no idea why. Hunter pulled just as good matches from me and I knew him just as well if not better than I knew John, I was just as close to Hunter as I was John. It made no sense I would want John instead. But I did and as I left the gym I stole one longing glance at him as he pumped more weight above his weight than I possessed in my whole body. I gulped ignoring the thoughts running through my head.
"He had no right too" John snapped as we stood in the trainers room, "It wasn't scripted"
"Looked amazing though" Ed added and I nodded regretting it. Hunter one of my long term friends had thought it would be epic to bring out a sledge hammer when I wasn't prepaired for it and brought it down on my bad shoulder. I was fine, it hurt a tad, but I wouldn't be out for any time.
"Exactly just a bad bump" I smirked at the annoyance on John's face.
"You still bitching Cena?" Hunter smiled and Ed & I laughed.
"You coulda fucked him up" John protested.
"True, thats why I'm here, you know how I get, caught up in the moment" He smiled apologetically, John's eyes narrowed into the back of his head and I bit my lip.
"It's cool, apparently it looked great and I'm fine aint that right Ed?" Ed nodded trying to kneed the muscle as much as possible to stop it from hurting.
"Nice warm bath tonight, shower first thing in the morning, good as new" John looked away almost in a huff, but no one else noticed.
"So all is well?" H asked and I nodded.
"Good match Orton" I nodded and he shook my hand,
"Yeah, good match H" he walked out.
"I'm going to go get some of those heat pads it might be better for you" I nodded as Ed walked out.
"You need to come out you huff John" I laughed as I stood up.
"Randy it wasn't scripted - if you didn't know him so well you could have been out for months" I towered over him smirking.
"Awh" I joked, "Would John have missed me?" he pulled back almost disgusted before yalking the door open and walking out.
I stood baffled, I went to go after him but knew I had to wait on Ed & I would see him back at the hotel later. A few moments later Ed came back.
"Stick this over your neck before you go to sleep & then shower first thing, any troubles I'll see you tomorrow?" I nodded taking my pad, signing out.
"Randy?" I turned to see Ted, "John said you could catch a ride with me & Cody, he looked pissed about something?" I nodded still baffled but knowing as soon as I got back, I could question it.
"Yeah I probably moved his bath soaps or something" I rolled my eyes trying to uphold the image the world knew of Randy Orton.
I opened my hotel door, I didn't see anyone but I heard the water running from the bathroom. I was still confused from the arena. I don't know exactly what I done wrong or why John was so pissed, but he obviously was.
I sat my bag down, and lay back onto my bed. avoiding my bad shoulder. The door clicked open and I sat up eyeing him in nothing but a towel. I smirked lightly.
"Oh hey - never heard you come in" he offered and I shrugged.
"I've seen you in less" I fell back determined not to watch him as he got ready. I fell back to quickly and hit my shoulder too hard, hissing as I did.
"I told you he shouldn't have done it" John snapped.
"It looked good" I snapped back.
"That's not the point, if it was scripted fine - but jeez Randy. The look of pain on your face, even now!"
"He explained himself" I defended my long time friend.
"And that makes it okay?"
I sat up finally pissed, "Yes it does. I dont know who told you getting hurt a little wasn't part of this business but they lied!"
"Fuck up, I've had my fair share of injuries - mostly thanks to you" his eyes narrowed, "But every time it has been something scripted gone wrong but he done was just plain stupid and reckless"
"Take it up with Vince John" I groaned, "Someone who may actually give a shit. It looked good that really is all I care about and for the record you've injured me a tenfold of what I have you" John's jaw tightened, as he slid on boxers.
"And every single time, I was there to say sorry and help you in any way I could"
"John just stop. Whats your REAL problem with that happened tonight?" I remembered his huff in the arena.
"What do you mean my real problem?" He accused taking a step back confirming my thoughts.
"You've never given a rats ass before as to how my storylines and carrer has been going. Why now?" I didn't even miss a beat before adding, "And you took some form of fucking huff earlier-"
"That last comment was just bullshit" he roared as I seemed to touch a nerve, "Do you really think you've gotten under my skin so much that I would miss you?" he hissed, "WHO do you think you are?"
I chuckled darkly, "It was a fucking joke John. You need to lighten up, seriously"
"Lighten up? Me? Really?" I raised an eyebrow, knowing we where both over reacting.
"John?" I asked, voice softening. He inwardly groaned, while pulling a tshirt on. Not nearly half as fast as he did in the ring and I was glad as I quickly stole a last glance at his abs before they disappeared.
"I was scared you'd gotten injured" he admitted.
"And?" I still didn't quiet get it.
"A ton of reasons, number one where would you live?" He had a point, I really should sort that out, now Sam owned the house.
"I'll sort something out when the time comes" I tried and he rolled his eyes.
"Fine. I was worried if you fucked off and everything went back to normal and came back it would be worse"
And there it was. It. Cropping up and ruining life's.
"How can this situation possibly be worse?" I asked, but as I said it, the answer dawned on me. Feelings could be involved in it. We could fall for each other, or even worse one for the other and it would ruin everything. Friendship - Matches - everything!
Suddenly panic rushed over me. I was not nearly ready to have feelings for someone so close after my divorce. He was right, I couldn't get injured in case it did get any worse - I mean all this week I have been craving him, how would I be if I was out for months.
Sure there is no grantee I would feel anything for him, but for a stupid 3 second part of a match it sure as hell wasn't worth the risk.
"Your right" I agreed finally and he nodded, "I'll talk to Paul first thing tomorrow"
"Thanks" he sighed and I nodded, "It wont come to that right?" He asked and I shook my head no,
"No" I looked him dead in the eye, "I'll never love you" I took another breath just at the idea of it, "Not more than a brother anyway" he nodded.
Once again something in the air was off & I would give anything in the world to know what John Anthony Felix Cena was thinking.
REVIEW? Much Love :) xx