I have had Three Exams this week and I have one more left, along with two assesments and a fucking ton of homework.

Yes. I know it's short, I promise next one will be longer, more detailed and soon. I have most of it typed up. I just want to add more into it as I am sick of posting shitty little chapters as apposed to a longer more detaield chapter.

Days passed and John was just plain quiet. It was strange after ten years of non stop talking. I was to angry at him to care though, he had admitted it. He had used the fact there was something between us and my ridicules sex drive, to try bed me again, more so he didn't have to come to me.

I knew I shouldn't have acted like that with him. I know I should try talk to him, but I didn't want to.
I know John must have felt disgusted with himself for giving in for a start, and like a ring rat for how I treated him, but my ego wouldn't let go.

I walked out the shower ready to leave for the air port. John was still quiet and it was still strange. Every and any conversation starter hanging off my tongue as he finished getting ready completely.
I eyed the way his shirt curved his back muscles. I eyed everything about him, I just stopped in the middle of the room staring at him. Watching his throat intently as if willing the vocal cords to start vibrating and make some sound.

"Do you want something Randy?" He asked, he still sounded as defeated as he had last time we spoke. I winced.

"Nothing in particular, just wondering how you've managed to keep quiet for almost a week and a half" I grunted back.

"You want to know why" he laughed bitterly and I stood watching him still, "Its because I don't know you anymore"

"What are you talking about?" I scoffed.

"You changed"

"What?" I laughed, about to make some smart arse comment but John completely shut me down.

"You changed, your not the man I waited on anymore" I froze as John tried to slip past me.

"What?" I whispered, as I pulled him into me. He pushed me away.

"You are not the man I was waiting on any more" he repeated loudly, I must have looked as gobsmacked as I felt, because he carried on, "I didn't know I was waiting on you, I always wondered why I put up with all your egotistical bullshit and I never had an answer until now, I was waiting, on you - but the you I was waiting on wasn't the you I've gotten" He shrugged looking almost defeated.

Once again fear gripped me, and it made sense why. I didn't want to lose John.
That suddenly made sense too. I didn't want to lose John because I love him.

"John" I begged, "If your talking about the locker room-"

"OF COURSE I'M TALKING ABOUT THE LOCKER ROOM" And now it was my turn to be scared as he advanced on me. "God if you knew how much I always wanted you in that locker room with me while I was like that, even before I knew. Before anything happened between us" He raved, "If you knew even a single ounce" he shook his head, "Jesus Randy. I've waited over 10 years for you and for what? To be treated like scum"

"You aren't exactly Mr. Innocent here John" I shot back, "You cock blocked me for months so I would sleep with you after cutting off all and any signs that you wanted anything from me!"

"I cock blocked you so you would want me, yeah! I did, I wanted you to want me and not some Red head from the Hilton, is that so bad?" He begged, "It was so easy after days only days for you to fall back into the Randy Orton the world knows, the player"

"The straight guy" I corrected for John and he bowed his head nodding once.

"Yeah, the straight guy" he sighed, "I had a lot of idea's how it would happen, I knew it would be rough and you'd be hacked off, but that no" he shrugged.

"What DID you expect?" I yelled on the verge of breaking down, "Huh? Flowers and candles and declarations of love? For me to swoop into your dressing room and make love to you?" I hissed, hurt, angry and confused. The only things I've ever known.

John took a step back but didn't reply and that's when I realized. That's exactly what John expected. I stood in completely shock as John grabbed his belongings and left the hotel room swiftly.

I sat on my bed, let my hands catch my head as it fell & for the first time in years. I cried. I cried for what seemed hours, with each tear I died a little more inside as I realized how much I had not only destroyed my friend ship with John. My career with John, but any real chance I ever had with a life with John.

& only now did I realize how much it made sense.
No more sleeping around.
No more leaving the loved one behind.
No more being paranoid about what my lover would be doing half way across the world.

Because if I had John. He'd be right beside me. Always.
Like he always had & never would be again.

I know I have a cheek, but please Review. I want to know what people REALLY think of this story.
So much love :) xx