Not particularly long, but i like this one & believe it or not. I think the end is near ;) I know I might ACTUALLY finish this story after a year and a half of delays?

I started keeping a closer eye on Ted and Cody. Cody had taken a shine to me with an almost hero worship going on. Ted on the other hand saw me as a threat and had taken a huge disliking to me, which "straight" Cody didnt understand.

Thank god this storyline ended soon.

The door knocked and we shouted "Come in"

John walked in, holding the WWE title over his shoulder. It was like a stab in the gut, a reminded as to why we weren't together.

"Hey guys, I just wanted to go over my match with Randy"

"Sure" Cody said chirply, and Ted nodded just following Cody out.

I turned to John confussed as we hardly ever went over singles matches, unless it as a pay per view. We just knew each other so well there was no need to.

"Got something special planned for tonight?"

"Not in particular. I just couldn't bear the thought of you in here alone with two potential gay men, who are younger, fitter and hotter than me" I threw my head back and laughed. I knew he was deadly serious, but John was acting completely irrational.

"Don't laugh at me" He sat himself down.

"Please" I asked, "Do tell me what you are going to do when we no longer have matches together?"

"Have a bad injury that forces me to leave WWE?"

"John" I warned seriously.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep this up Randy!" He groaned. I stood, taking his hand and pulling him towards me, hugging him. It felt wonderful just to hold him in my arms again.

"So getting injured is gonna make it better?" He hung his head low, which then settled onto my shoulder. I felt my heart start to race, my whole body pulled towards him. Out of my eye I seen the belt. I removed it from his shoulder placing it on the bench behind us, feeling a faint victory over it.

"No." His voice was right in my ear, his breath dancing along my bare chest, shoulder and neck. I knew if I didn't pull back soon I was gonna go over that line, the line he didn't want to cross. So I did. I felt cold and suddenly needy, that deep pain was settling in again. The same pain I didn't even notice had gone when I held him.

"God Randy, what am I doing to us?" I opened my eyes I didn't know where closed, and released a shaky breath.

"You're doing what you think is best for us in the long run John, it's a lot more than I could"

His eyes filled with tears and I didn't doubt for a second that the pained look on his face mirrored my own. I longed to hold him again but knew I couldn't. I wanted to take that look off of his face. He sat down on the bench beside me, and I did too.

"I'm so jealous of everyone around you!" He hissed, "How much time you can spend with them, how uncomplicated it is! How they can just be in the same room as you and not break the fuck down!"

"I know" I started fidgiting with my hands. There was a long silence.

"Do you" He started taking a deep breath, "Do you sleep anymore"

"No" I shrugged, "My dreams won't let me"

"Nightmares?" I shook my head no, laughing.

"No, that would be too kind, I uh I dream about us a lot & thats great and nice, but then you know I've got to wake up!" I shook my head, "and I don't like waking up" I sighed, "It hurts all the bloody time but when I wake up, in that moment when i can still remember lying with you or kissing you in the dream, that faint feeling of happyness still lingers and I can pratically smell you, or just feel you against me" I could hear myself almost whinning, "and you aren't there, and you aren't coming back with coffee or even so much as say hello. I just..."

"It's the worst part of the day. Waking up from what you want to living what you hate" He finished for me and I nodded. "I wish it wasn't the same for you!"

"Of course it's the same for me!" I hissed, "If it wasn't that would mean how we feel was diffrent"

"Sometimes I wish it was" I looked at him disgusted, "Sometimes I wish you would just move on"

"How can you say that?"

"Because the only way I get through each morning, is hoping that you don't feel the same way I do - that I'm not inflicting this pain onto you!"

"Well you are! And one day you're just gonna need to square yourself with that Cena!" I hissed deadly quitely, "Because I do hurt, and I do love you and I am not going anywhere and don't you dare fucking ask me to" I felt a tear roll down my face.

"I just want you to stop hurting Randy, is that so bad"

"No, it's not. I understand that I do - but there is only one way that will happen and nether of us plan it to happen until years from now"

"Years?" He looked suddenly fearful.

"Yes, years!"

"But?"

"But what John? We aren't retiring anytime soon - god damn it i'm barely turning 30!"

"You're willing to wait years?" Another tear rolled down John's face and I scoffed almost feeling deflated.

"What other choice do I have?"

"You have plenty of other choices"

"None that involve us, and thats the only real choice I have"

"But years Randy? We've bearly survived this year?"

"Well we'll just have to!"

"But years?"

"God damn it John yes! This was your idea and your fucking rules - I'm just following them!"

"Guys?" We both looked up to the door

"Yeah?" I called back.

"Match in 5" I nodded standing, he picked his belt up and put in back on his shoulder and the faint victory I felt earlier on disapeared, because yes. Maybe I could get him for 5 minutes but the WWE would always hold a bigger part in John's life than I did.

"Randy man yo-you've had enough" Cody slurred, and I shook my head.

"Not by a long shot - you on the other hand"

Cody snorted and I chuckled lightly, he was so innocent and pure, it was hard to feel angry around him. He oozed energy out of him and it was hard not to go with it. One of the reason's i had accepted his offer for drinks tonight, after the last few days with Cena I needed someone like Cody to clear my head.

"You want help up to your room?" I asked and he shook his head,

"No-nope! I have Ted!" I knew he meant to say more but he started to slide off his seat and his sentence was cut short as he caught himself.

"Yes, you do" A soild harsh sober voice chimed in, we both turned and there was Ted, giving me the evil eyes as he usually did these days. I felt sorry for him. Thinking that I had slept with the man he wanted, and said man was now claiming to be straight.

"Teddy!" Cody goshed overly excited to see Ted. I shook my head laughing, and he blushed slightly.

"How much have you had?" Ted smiled at him, the way he smiled while he looked at him made my heart melt - it was all there for anyone to see. Pure love, just waiting.
Always waiting.

"No it's fine I was just having little drinks" He giggled

"Little drinks?" Ted looked at me confused.

"Shots" I confirmed and he rolled his eyes,

"So it's not so bad because they are small"

"They are also pure and not delutted with anything" Ted shook his head.

"Hey don't look at me it was Cody's idea!"

"Yeah don't blame Randall he looks after us!" Cody swayed slightly, and Ted wrapped his arm around Cody to steady him.

"Yeah, I suppose he does" Ted admitted, "Now come on you are going to bed"

"Night Randall"

"Night Guys" I laughed at Cody, and gave a small smile to Ted.

I turned back to my drink, nursing it now. Feeling very lonely but also not wanting to go back to the room, because sleep meant waking up.

"You can't stay here all night you know" I looked over to the source of the voice, and my breath got stole.

"I know John, but I'm in no hurry to leave"

"What if you have somewhere to be?" I looked up at him confussed, and he laughed, blushing slightly "Room 125"

"My Room's 26- oh" I stopped when I realised what he was implying.

"Finish that and get there" He walked away towards the lift to his room.

I looked around and seen the only other people left in the hotel bar where the staff and Shaun and hunter I raise and eyebrow at them and H waved me over. I picked up my drink, walking over knowing full well they had something to do with this.

"We will see you in the morning or afternoon rather, and yes it is our fault you are being pulled away from this ridicuasly expensive bar but please don't hate on us too much"

"What did you say?" I asked and they laughed.

"Tomorrow - now go!" Hunter laughed and I shook my head finishing my drink and leaving.

I pushed the button four or five times in the lift, getting impatient. The doors opened and Barbie walked in "oh Hey Randy!" She smiled, stopping, "How are you"

I growled slightly impatient knowing full well if I wasn't in a hurry she wouldn't have stopped me, "Yeah good yourself?"

"Yeah just heading out with the girls"

"Oh thats nice"

"Not doing anything yourself?" She hinted, and I almost choked on my own tongue, she looked alarmed, so i pushed it off as a cough.

"Uh, No caught a little bit of the flu, so just heading to my room after a night cap" I caughed again for good messure and she backed away from me slightly.

"Oh - well get better soon yeah?

"Awh thanks" Cough, "You girls have a good night" She slipped into the lift without another word.

I started pratically running down the hall. 103, 107, 114, 118, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125.
I took a deep breath in, knocked on the door, and tried to ignore all the bad thoughts and feelings running though me.

The door clicked open and he let me in, we both came face to face with a small smile.

"I wasn't sure if you where going to come" He stated.

"Of course I would, I always do and probabaly always will"

"I know" His smile broke free, it was my smile. Dimples and all. He stepped foward kissing me, and I clung to him for dear life. I had forgotten the sheer taste of him! I pushed him against the wall, and ran my hands under his shirt, god his stomach felt amazing.

Beep Beep... Beep Beep.

I sat up hitting the alarm and sighed. Rolling over onto my pillow again and screamed, screamed will all my might, till my lungs ran out of breath. Panting, I felt the tears begin to fall.

That one had been particuarly real.

"Fuck these dreams!" I cried into the pillow, "Fuck this WHOLE situation"

My pain in my chest felt as though I was about to cave in.

"Fuck, FUCK FUCK!" I roared.

Every fucking morning, every fucking time!

I pulled myself out of bed and tried to focus on what I had to do today. Had a shower and went to the bus to travel to tonights arena, headphones blaring avoiding everyone.

Life gets fucked sometimes, and you aren't lucky enough to die from the pain.

Try not to hate me? Review is love :D