I've had some requests for Jealous!Mako, but that comes in later. Instead, have some Jealous!Korra and Masami! Also, is everyone following the storyline okay? I know I haven't really addressed where it falls in canon, but it kind of does in a vague way and I don't want anyone to be confused by the timeline.

Chapter 8: Meditate

With a yawn and a loud popping crack of her back, Korra sat up and stared at the wall across from her bed. It was late afternoon, the fading light of the day dying the walls of her room a faint orange. She had woken up far later than she had wanted to, and she watched as her day died away with a sigh before flopping back into bed and staring at the ceiling.

'It's so different,' she observed, staring at the orange ceiling; and it was. It had been a while since she'd seen the Air Temple in this light. Usually, she was at city hall meetings with the council or meeting with the task force at this time, and it struck her at how little of her time had been spent at her foster home recently. Outside of breakfast, morning training, and the little sleep she managed to procure for herself, she was rarely on the island. She couldn't even remember the schedule for meals on the island and forced herself to stretch her senses for a clue.

Through the window, the smell of frying garlic greeted her. Pema was in the beginning stages of dinner preparation and they wouldn't eat for at least another hour, Korra estimated before rolling onto her stomach.

"So now what?" she asked herself. She had an hour to kill—an hour she didn't usually have in her hectic schedule of council meetings and task force strategizing because it was her day off. While she normally spent it running errands for Pema or playing with the kids, Korra had slept most of it away after collapsing in bed after last night's exhausting raid. Most of her usual stops would be closed by the time she reached the city. Not only that, but she could feel the strands of exhaustion weaving around her brain once more.

'Maybe a bit of meditation will help.' After all, she hadn't been able to do it in a while since Tarrlok began relying heavily on her aid in his campaign, and she usually felt better after meditating.

Leaving her room, Korra began to cross the grounds for the meditation pavilion, padding over the grass. Around her echoed the cry of a lone gull while the smell of the sea spray permeated the air, and there was a slight spring in her step as she watched the shadows of the flying lemurs drift around her feet. The walk to the pavilion wasn't particularly long, but it did allow enough time for her to forget some of her worries and clear her mind a bit before she sat down to actually meditate.

Absentmindedly, she looked around and watched the sun set peacefully on Yue Bay and smiled to herself at the scene. Despite its proximity to Republic City, Air Temple Island always seemed to be untouched by any of the city's troubles, and she lingered on the notion for a bit, feeling her stress melt away.

Only for it to return full-force as she found herself just a few feet away from Mako and Asami, the two of which were heavily engrossed in each other as they kissed against one of the pillars. Suddenly, she regretted leaving her room.

Heart twisting in her chest, Korra quickly returned to her room. She didn't stop to take in the view, to smell the last exhales of the sun-kissed grass before they sank down to sleep for the night, to watch the sun set behind the crest of Aang's head—there was no point. There was no solace to be found there.

Korra shut the door behind her and walked towards her bed. Naga was nowhere to be seen, but she hadn't been in the room when Korra had woken up either.

'Probably with the kids,' Korra thought to herself as she reached under the bed and searched with her fingers over the tile floor. Brushing against something, she palmed the corner of the object and pulled it out, sitting with it on the edge of her bed. Idly, she ran her hand over the fine wood grain and traced the glimmer of the mother-of-pearl design inlayed into the wood. It had been a gift from her mother, sent from the South Pole during the first month of her stay at Republic City. It had been the box her mother's wedding necklace had been placed in when she had been proposed to; her father had done all the detail by himself, she told Korra. Now, Korra used it to hold the letters she received from her parents and Master Katara.

The box opened with a slight creak at its hinges. The smell of the sea washed over her, crisp and clean as ocean spray and glacial ice, as the scent of home lingered in the pages of the letters of all shapes and sizes. Recently, it had become a place of storage for other sentimental items as well as she fingered the shells the children had given her, a portrait of her done by Jinora, a rock given to her by Meelo. There was also a picture Ikki had done of her and Mako together in the box as well.

Her heart twisted in her chest as she looked at the folded drawing of her and Mako together. Ikki had done it shortly after she had asked for relationship advice from the two girls. Though it hadn't worked out between her and Mako that day, his confession that he did feel something for her had buoyed her hope and she spent night after night staring at Ikki's picture hoping that it would one day be true.

For a while, she thought it would be, but that was before she saw Asami and Mako together today. Though she knew that she was the one who pushed Mako to stay with Asami and she felt no animosity towards Asami—on the contrary, Asami was a great person and Korra felt lucky to be able to call her "friend"—Korra couldn't help the twinge of jealousy she felt seeing them together. Why did it have to be Asami? Why couldn't it have been her instead? Why couldn't it have always been her?

'And another thing. Did they have to kiss there where everyone could see?' she stormed, wrinkling the edges of the drawing in her hand.

Didn't they care who could've seen them there? What if the kids saw them? But Korra knew that was a half-hearted excuse. The kids were always in the temple library studying before dinner no matter what, and the guards wouldn't have batted an eyelash if they had seen the two teenagers making out. Mako and Asami probably wouldn't have noticed anyway. They probably hadn't even known another person was there.

'Like me.'

It was a mixed blessing. On one hand, she was happy they hadn't noticed her. It spared her the mortification of having her presence noticed, of having to babble away an excuse to dismiss herself—of having interrupted a moment, but a part of her wished they had noticed her—had seen her there and felt guilty for not only ruining a sacred space, but for kissing in front of her—especially Mako. If he had noticed her, then she wouldn't be the only one who felt like their heart had been skewered by fine, twisting forks, but those were the sentiments of a poisonous place in her heart and she pushed the thoughts away and locked them back into the abyss they came from.

It didn't stop the pain though as an image of that kiss flashed in her head once more. Quickly, Korra shoved the drawing back into the box and began to pile her mother's letters over it. In her haste, a piece of paper slipped over the side of her bed and she reached down to pick it up, reading the numbers and letters that flowed in a familiar neat script.

From the back of her head, Tahno's offer echoed from a corner of her mind.

"You know, if it ever gets too much for you, you're welcome to stay with me if you want."

Korra sat on her bed for a moment as she debated what to do. Theoretically, she knew she could go to Tahno's place. She had visited many times before and he seemed to sincerely enjoy her company. He would have no qualms of her staying with him for the night should she choose to. Distantly, she realized if she did, it would be the first time she ever went to Tahno of her own accord, but even before she considered the option, she had made up her mind. She couldn't do it.

Something was holding her back. Maybe it was because of some misplaced concept of loyalty to the Air Temple and her friends here, or because Pema had already made her a place at the dinner table, but she couldn't do it.

But you want to, that deeply-hidden part of her heart whispered.

But she couldn't, she reminded herself and that was all that mattered. No matter what she felt—no matter how painful it was to stay on the island knowing that Mako and Asami were probably still at the pavilion—that she would have to face them at dinner and sit with the knowledge of their kiss—she couldn't bring herself to leave the island to stay with Tahno.

However, that didn't stop her from sitting on her bed and staring out at the sunset as she absentmindedly thumbed Tahno's address in her hand, wishing that she was stronger somehow.

A/N: Chapter updates will be limited to once a week on Sundays now since I have to catch up. I spent most of my time finishing chapter 10 and I fell behind on writing the other chapters of Secrets. On the bright side, chapter 10 is over 5,000 words long pre-editing, so you'll have that to look forward to.

And is anyone else's head full of feels and angst from that last episode? D8