A/N: Here it is, the long-awaited chapter 10. I struggled with it a lot more than I thought I would, but after three weeks of hard work, I think I finally got it. Here, you'll get what a lot of you have been asking for: Jealous!Mako, an explanation for Tahno's funds, and more Tahnorra romance. Honestly, Tahno remains the easiest for me to write, followed by Mako here. (I can only write jerks really well, apparently).
Also, some of you have been asking for longer chapters, but I said at the start this would be a drabble/oneshot series. I am actually breaking form by writing more than 1000-1500 words (and this chapter just shatters it), but this chapter has the most important information and I couldn't bring myself to split it. Later chapters, however, will go back to the same length as past chapters.
On another note, we broke 100 reviews and 17,000 hits on this story, you awesome people you. You won't believe how stupid I looked when I saw we broke 100. If my phone wasn't prepaid, I would've texted all my fandom friends like a derp. OH THE FEELS! Okay, enough talk. Story time!
Chapter 10: 1 AM
Guided by the light of the moon, Korra wandered the dark wooden hallways towards her room. It was late, and the residents of the temple were all sound asleep in their beds. Even the White Lotus guards who kept a stern alert for danger were half-dozing at their posts when she passed, but it was no surprise to her to find them like that. It was almost dawn. Most sane people would be sleeping at this time, and she would've been too if Tarrlok hadn't dragged her out on a night patrol around the city looking for Equalist hives.
If it had been up to her, she would've never agreed to be part of the task force. She never wanted to be in the first place. The councilman was a walking weasel-snake—even Tahno's occasional sleaziness was preferable to Tarrlok's—but the council had demanded she assist him. To do anything else suggested that she agreed with Amon; that she had turned her back on benders and Republic City, they told her and Korra narrowed her eyes at them. She knew Tarrlok's work when she saw it, and her annoyance with the three apparent-puppets on the council board was slowly building towards resentment. Now she understood why Tenzin sometimes loathed his job.
Padding across the wood floor, Korra made a turn at an intersection as she shook her head to herself, marveling at Tenzin's patience. She didn't know how he could deal with Tarrlok's obvious manipulation of those around him; it was a miracle that her airbending teacher even bothered showing up to work when it was clear that Tarrlok was now running the show in just about everything. The people around him were mere decorations, just parts of the scenery to obscure the hands pulling the strings. Even her. While she ran around on these goose chases and attended meeting after meeting, she knew it was meaningless. He didn't need her; he only needed her title. She was there to validate his pet project, nothing more. Any actual Equalists caught were merely a bonus. They almost never found any, anyway.
Except tonight was different. Tonight, they did find Equalists, and what was more, they found Amon.
Korra's lungs seized as the memory came flooding back. Of brick dust and crumbling concrete; of glowing green lenses and the flutter of flags and banners. It was just supposed to be just another fruitless raid—another meaningless show of Tarrlok's power to feed his ego—but they were there. He was there.
Her hands scrambled with the door, slick with sweat and twitching endlessly on the paper screens. Her breathing hastened; she could feel her pulse in her fingertips because—he had been there. He had been there and Tarrlok was unconscious and just so fucking useless as he usually was—as he usually is—and…Amon was there.
Through it all—the rumble of upended building foundation, the acrid scent of burnt flesh and hair and crackling angry live wires, the panicked yelps of the two green officers who looked like they would've been better off as crossing guards—Amon was there, mere inches away from her. They had been close enough to touch, and she met his eyes through the holes in his mask, gazes unbreakable even as the factory catwalk they stood upon shook and groaned from the fighting around them. It was as if she had been trapped in the eye of a storm.
And then he reached out to her, hand moving to bridge the gap between them. She felt the contact of his gloved hand on his skin before he even touched her, flinching as she inwardly wondered if now was no longer too early, if it was actually the perfect time to take her bending away as the city teetered of the precipice of ruin, and his eyes bore into hers, feeling like drills against her skull. He was close enough for her to see into the holes of his mask, to see the bits of gnarled, mottled skin where the firebender had supposedly burned his face, and she waited with resignation for the press of the gloved hand that would take away her bending forever…
Only it never came. A member of the task force had propelled his enemy backwards into them, knocking Amon away from her. She was safe and surprised, she let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding as reinforcements for the task force finally arrived. Outmanned, the Equalists began to scatter and Korra watched them slip out the open windows. A pair of pale eyes caught her eye, and she turned feeling his gaze linger on her face warningly before Amon melted away and disappeared into the shadows of the night.
That had been two hours ago. Amon, wherever he was, was long gone and far-removed from where she was and was not likely to show himself for a while. The Equalists had been dealt a heavy blow tonight and it would take them a while to recover and regroup, but that was a shallow comfort to her. Even if it was nearly impossible for Amon to be on the island at that time, it did nothing to shake the lingering feeling of his eyes watching her from the shadows as Korra fell into a fitful slumber.
By the time Korra woke up, the sun had set far over the horizon. The sky was inky black and scattered with stars. She had slept the day away and if she had to guess, she would say she slept thirteen hours, not including the nap she took when she arrived home from the raid before doing airbending training with Jinora, Ikki, and Meelo.
Korra ran a hand through her hair, stifling a yawn. Though she knew thirteen hours was a long time to sleep and that she should be fully-rested, she was anything but. She had tossed and turned the entire day. At this point, she was barely hanging onto her sanity.
Absentmindedly, she shifted her legs restlessly in bed. Naga was well asleep on the floor, no doubt exhausted from entertaining the three airbender children again, but Korra couldn't say the same. As bone-tired as she felt, she was wide-awake; and after thirteen hours of being in bed, just "going back to sleep" was not an option.
'Maybe a walk will help.'
The first wave of cold air that hit her as she stepped outside washed over her like a wave, and she forced herself to relax against the instinctive shiver where the wind kissed her skin. Despite being on the cusp of summer, unlike the crowded city where heat was often trapped, the Air Temple remained temperate all year round because of its location. Yue Bay kept the island warmer in winter and cooler in summer, and Korra couldn't help but think that the Moon Spirit's protective power was so pervasive that it was ingrained even in her name.
The smell of sea salt and brine filled her senses as she walked the grounds. She could feel the exhaustion still creeping at the edges of her mind, but the sea breeze filling her lungs erased the tiredness in her bones. Sleep would not be coming anytime soon—but the young avatar couldn't find it in herself to care as she swayed and danced in the cold night air.
"What are you doing out here?"
Korra turned her head. "Mako," she said in surprise, her voice breathless as the memory of the city lights glowed in her eyes, heart thrumming as her blood sang in her veins. They looked like stars, and she watched as the image danced over the firebender's face, a dazed and dreamy smile playing on her lips as it glimmered and shone as bright as the sun.
Still, as she drank in the image, savoring it with care, she couldn't help but think that he looked different somehow. Something was missing and she wondered it was when her traitorous mind supplied the answer: Asami. Asami was missing, and in spite of herself, she wondered where the Sato heiress was. The two were rarely apart, practically attached at the hip, and it hurt to know that this was accepted norm, even to Korra.
Was he looking for her, she wondered. Mako wasn't usually up at this hour; maybe he thought Asami was in danger when she distantly recalled that Asami and Bolin were both in the city together catching a movie. On the other side of the island, Pema and the children would be asleep at this hour, and if she ignored the presence of the White Lotus guards, they would be the only ones awake on the island; and though she knew she shouldn't feel happy at the prospect, she felt her heart flip once, twice in her chest despite herself.
However, Mako's face shared none of her joy.
"What are you doing out here?" he repeated.
At his accusatory tone, Korra blinked, unconsciously recoiling slightly as she felt her daydream evaporate before her eyes. "I was getting some fresh air. I…I couldn't sleep…" she explained, wondering where the edge in his voice was coming from. Had she done something wrong recently?
Mako made a sound of disbelief. "No, you're not. You're lying to me. Listen, Korra. You're old enough to make your own mistakes, but you should rethink who you choose to be your friend. I mean it."
Korra knit her brows together. "I don't understand. What are you talking abo—"
"I know you're going to see Tahno. That's why you're always leaving at night—why you're out this late at night now."
A strangled sound escaped her throat as she felt her eyes bulge from their sockets. "What?"
The Southern-Water Tribe native felt her head spin. She didn't even know where to begin because really, was Mako even listening to himself? Had he forgotten about the papers already—the raids she was forced to go on night after night—the first of which got them all out of jail, she reminded.
"And besides, how would you know?" Korra asked testily, arms folded over her chest.
"Because I found his address in your room," he replied, a small yellowing slip of paper pinned between his two extended fingers, and for a second, Korra felt the world pitch and her vision go white.
"You WHAT?" she exploded, watching without satisfaction as Mako cowered slightly, hands raised protectively in front of his chest. She couldn't believe this. "You went into my room?"
"I-I did it for your own good. You've been hanging around him a lot lately and I got worried—look Korra, you don't know him like I know him. You haven't heard what's happened to him since he lost his bending— He's not who you think he is. He's been sleeping around, Kor. He's having sex for money."
"Yeah well, even if he is a prostitute, at least he listens to me and trusts me," she spat. "And why should I believe you anyways?"
"Look, Korra. I only did it for your own good and—"
"No! No, you didn't!" she fumed. "You're not looking out for me at all! The only person you're looking out for is yourself because even though you're dating Asami, you still like me and you can't make up your mind between us. This was never about me at all. You just don't like the fact that I'm getting close to someone who isn't you and you don't want to lose your chance with me, even if you can't decide—even if it means stringing me along while you date her and it's not fair. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to Asami and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of waiting for you to decide. You've had your chance—multiple chances—and now I'm through waiting for you. We're done. Forever."
"Korra, wait!" he pleaded catching her arm only to be forced back by the arc of fire following her hand as she threw him off.
"Don't you dare touch me," she hissed, her eyes as hard and cold as the glacial ice of her homeland as she turned her back to him. On her back, she could feel his injured gaze watching her and for a moment, she faltered—you might still have a chance. Just take it back. Tell him you didn't mean it, and he probably didn't mean any harm in it because maybe he does care and maybe if you wait long enough…maybe…maybe…he'll love you maybe—before throwing the traitorous feeling aside. There was no point. There was no hope of him ever coming around and there never had been. He would never decide and she knew it, and she could feel the dark knot of envy and betrayal twisting in her gut as her hands shook with rage because she hated him. She hated him now, and if she didn't leave soon, there would be more for them to regret than just a singed shirt sleeve and hurt feelings.
She needed to get away. She couldn't be here anymore—to deal with Asami and Bolin when they returned because they would look at her accusingly and just side with Mako—just like when they found out what she did to get them out of jail—just like they always did—but where could she run?
Her gaze strayed to the city and the millions of lights strewn out before her.
"If it ever gets too much for you, you're welcome to stay with me if you want."
Suddenly, she knew where to go and stalking away in the night, Korra broke into a run and dove into the glittering bay, losing herself in the cool kiss of the water as she headed towards the address that she had memorized by heart, down to the very font.
—ck. Knock. Knock. Knock-knock. Knock-knock. KnockKnockKnockKnockBANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG—
"Alright. Alright already! Hold your ostrich-horses," Tahno shouted, pulling on some pants as he went to answer the door. Whoever was on the other side of his door didn't seem to hear his response—or if they did, simply didn't care—and not for the first time was he grateful that he was the sole occupant of the building's top floor and his neighbors downstairs were heavy sleepers.
'Doesn't this person know what time it is?' he thought irritably as the knocking continued to grate on his rapidly-forming headache.
"Alright already, quit knocking!" He yanked the door open roughly. "Wha—oof!"
The wind was knocked out of him as something slammed into his chest with the force of a probending earth disk and more. He stumbled back, catching himself against the wall, his back protesting at the odd angle as shards of pain shot up his spine. Spirits, he thought, shaking the blurred shapes in his vision back into place. What hit him?
"I can't—I can't—he went—he we—Spirits, what'd I do to deserve this?"
His head snapped up. He knew that voice anywhere.
"Korra?" he asked gently, hands hovering above the young girl clutching onto him for dear life. "What's wrong, Korra?"
Her response was a string of incoherent sounds sobbed into his chest, and he tried to suppress his grimace as he felt her snot run down his skin. He could be grossed out later.
"Korra, calm down. I can't understand a word you're saying. Come on, let's go to my room. We can talk there," he said, gently nudging her from him. Somehow, he managed to get through to her and he watched her walk down the hall before crossing the entryway to close his front door.
When he entered his room, he found her sitting on his bed. Her legs hung limply over the edge, her gaze listless as she stared into her lap, hands balled at her sides. Rifling through his closet, he pulled something out before returning to her side.
"Here," he said offering her a handkerchief as he wiped the plane of his chest with one of his own.
Korra took it gratefully. "Thanks," she murmured, feeling the bed dip slightly as he sat next to her.
"So what happened? While this isn't exactly how I imagined the first time you coming to my house on your own, you obviously came here for a reason."
Hands fidgeting with the cloth in her hand, she sighed in frustration.
"I just—it—I—STUPID MAKO!" she bellowed. "It's all his stupid fault! He went into my room. No one goes into my room. Not even Tenzin. I mean, there's already no privacy at that temple because of that no-locking-the-doors rule—and I'm fine with that. I am—but you don't just go snooping in another person's room without them knowing. I don't care if you're raised in a barn—you just don't! He went through my things, Tahno. He showed me the piece of paper with your address on it, and the only way he could've gotten that is if he found the box my mother gave me and I don't let anyone touch that. It's my stuff—my personal stuff—even Ikki knows better to pry into that because it's private.
"And he was giving me flak for going out at night!" she screamed, pacing the floor. "It's not my fault, okay? I mean, I didn't ask to join Tarrlok's stupid task force. The council made me stay after our one-week deal was up. I didn't have a choice. If it were up to me, I'd be asleep in bed—not running around doing fucking goose chases at three in the morning just so Tarrlok play hero at my expense.
"And he had the nerve to lecture me about hanging out with you. He said he only pried because he was concerned about the two of us when that's a lie. He only cared about himself and his chances with me, and I told him that. Spirits, does Asami even know what she's dating? I bet he hasn't even told her about the fact that we kissed still. He doesn't want to hurt his chances with her probably," she groused.
"And get this! This is what really pissed me off—he called you a prostitute!—he was so out of his gourd about losing me to you that he accused you of sleeping with people for money—I mean, how unbelievable can you get, right? Really, I get that he was upset, but how low can you get? I mean, there's no way in the spirit realm you would do that, right?"
Korra turned to him, voice bright with expectation as she looked to him for affirmation. This was something they could laugh about together, this outrageous story concocted by her jealous firebending teammate that they could pick apart and sneer and ridicule. After all, there was no possible way that Tahno would do that. He must have been talking about a different Tahno—one that just looked like him or just happened to have the same name because really, did Mako know how much pride Tahno had? He would never stoop so low, right?
Right?
Tahno refused to meet her gaze; Korra felt like she lost touch with the world completely.
"I can't believe this, Tahno. I mean, you can't be seriously saying that you're—I mean, why? How could you? I thought you had more self-respect than that! How could you sell yourself like this? Doesn't your pride mean anything to your anymore and—"
"You think I wanted to do this?" he shouted, eyes accusing. "You think I wanted to do this—to stand on street corners and suck-up to people in bars just to suck them off and have them use me in back-alleys and in the backs of their cars? I didn't want to—I used to be someone, I used to have the world at my feet. I was the one who called the shots—but after I lost my bending, the endorsements stopped coming in. Equalist movement or not, no one wants to deal with a pro-bender who can't bend anymore, so I did what I had to do to survive. Besides, what else was I supposed to do? Without bending, I'm nothing. Amon didn't just take away my bending—he took away my life.
"So yeah, I'm a whore, a prostitute—a slut—but compared to my teammates who moved out months ago, I'm a hell of a lot cleaner than they are," he said with a snarl.
His back to her, he braced his hands on the windowsill. His spine was tense under his skin, arms shaking and quivering like rafters rattling in a hurricane. Moments passed without a word; he refused to look at her, and peering over his shoulder to catch his reflection in the window, his expression was unreadable, and she waited for his next move with all the apprehension of waiting for a storm.
"You were supposed to protect me."
His words were a quiet hiss through his lips, spoken so silently she would've never known he had said anything if she hadn't been watching his reflection. She watched his breath fog up the glass, the hardening of his eyes as his brows knit together when he suddenly turned, and the tremor in his voice matched the tremor in his shoulders.
"You…were supposed to protect me…" He pointed a finger at her. "You were supposed to protect me—protect us! That's what you're supposed to do—what you said you'd do—so don't you dare lecture me on morality when you can't even keep your own promises, especially when it's your fault this happened to me. I only did what I had to to survive, so don't you dare come into my home with your self-righteousness and judge me. You're the Avatar. You're supposed to make sure shit like this doesn't happen and protect us all, and so far you haven't done a damn thing since you came to this city."
His fingernails dug into his palm, trickles of pain reaching him as if from a galaxy away. His blood boiled in his veins.
"Are you having fun playing hero?" he asked. "Do you think that this is just some game—another match that if you lose, you can just pick it up tomorrow? Well, I got news for you, hero. This isn't a game, and no amount of playing pretend is going to hide the fact that you're a failure an—"
"Don't you think I know that already?"
Her voice echoed off the walls of his room, the sound tight as it rattled into his ears and he blinked as if in a daze as the world reordered itself around him. The moonlight from the window bathed his back; the plush fibers of the rug buoyed his feet, and he wondered how it was that he had gotten to the middle of the room all of a sudden. However, it fell to the back of his mind as he watched the Avatar crumple before him, folding into the shape of a young girl. Had she always been so small?
"Don't you think I know that I'm a failure?" she choked out. "That it's my fault that Asami can't look at her father the same way anymore—that she lost her home because of me? That I drove you to this? Every time I look at you, it's just another reminder of what could happen if I don't stop Amon. I'm sorry you lost your bending—I really am—but you need to understand—you and the city both need to understand; I'm doing the best I can.
"Do you think I planned for this to happen? I never wanted to be the Avatar, and I never expected to be thrown into this kind of war. I only left the compound to learn how to airbend and now, everyone is counting on me to save them. They keep turning to me like I have the answers—"Avatar Korra, are you any closer to catching Amon?"/ "Avatar Korra, should we focus more manpower in the assault team or hold them in the reinforcements?"/ "Avatar Korra, what's our next move?"—and I don't have the answers. I'm only 17! I don't know where we should add more manpower; where to find Amon; what our next move is. They all want me to be like Aang. 'He saved the world when he was 12 and this Avatar is five years older, so she has to know more, right?' But I don't know. Everyone looks at me like I have the answers, but I don't! I don't know anything. I'm just as scared as everyone else—I have as much to lose as everyone else—but everyone's counting on me and I don't…I don't…I don't know what to do!"
That was really the worst part of it: the not-knowing. The questions with no answers. She had no clue what to tell the reporters who were asking for a progress report, the dead-eyed former benders looking for some promise of a better future, the scared children crying for their missing parents at night. They were all looking at her—to her, but she was just as lost as them, if not more.
She was only 17. Not even two decades old and she was shouldered with the burden of fighting a war. Even if Asami and the others had confided in her that she wasn't alone, she knew she couldn't hold onto that belief forever. Mako, Bolin, and Asami—in spite of all their good intentions—were even less prepared to fight a war than she was, and Amon would never accept anyone but her to face him. No matter how much they wanted to help, Amon was ultimately her fight and her fight alone.
And what kind of fight would that be? Last night had proved already how capable she was against him and she could already feel her body freezing up at the memory.
Her lungs seized with the force of a train wreck. He had been close…so close...he could've taken away her bending if he wanted to—and he had tried. He had been knocked away at the last minute, but if he had wanted to, he could have run back up to her and disarmed her with a lock of his leg around hers and a deft hand. If he had wanted to, he could have taken away everything that she had ever known—everything that she had been, was, and would be—and it was terrifying to think that her entire being rested on the whims of a man hidden behind the anonymity of a mask.
However, she was a savior and fear was a luxury she couldn't afford—not when she had people to save.
So she would have to forget the piercing, expectant gazes; the haunting unnatural glow of Equalist goggles in the dark; the locking of her lungs whenever she saw that mask; the terrified screams that echoed in her room at night when she saw them not just awake, but asleep. Her throat was locking again.
You stupid girl, get it together. You're going to get someone killed.
Especially since reports were starting to trickle in of Equalist sightings outside the city. They were moving. The other nations would be affected soon. They would face the same travesties Republic City was going through now and they were in no way prepared to fight this. What if they reached the Poles? What if they got to the compound? Her teachers…Master Katara…what would happen to them?
What would happen to mom and dad?
Her heart sank; she didn't want to think about it. She wouldn't have to if she stopped them here and now. Everyone would be in danger if she didn't come up with a plan, but what should she do? What was she going to do?
"I don't know! Idon'tknow!Idon'tknow!" she screamed.
Tears streamed down her arms, mouth opening in giant gasping sobs that she couldn't stop—that she should stop because she was the Avatar and she had to be strong—but she wasn't. She was just one person and she was terrified out of her mind and the only person she could talk to about this was Tenzin, but he had had his hands full with other things for the past few months. He was almost never home now, especially since Lin had gone missing while looking for her metalbending officers three weeks ago. His own children hadn't seen him in weeks as he followed lead after lead; Pema only saw him at night when he came back to the temple to sleep and the few times she saw him in passing at city hall—small glimpses of the wrinkles in his brow, his sallow skin, the deepening lines in his face because had he always looked so old?—were enough to stay her tongue. Tenzin already had enough to worry about. The Equalist cause was gaining in numbers; Amon was becoming emboldened, and the city was falling apart at the seams. The last thing he needed was to be burdened with his charge's worries about being unable to perform her duties.
But what could she do? She was terrified of Amon, of losing her bending. She wasn't smart. She wasn't pretty—bending and this stupid title were all she had, and he almost took it away. What would she do if she lost her bending? Who would she be? What would be left of the girl called "Korra?" And how in spirits' name would she ever be able to face the people she had disappointed?
She didn't know. She didn't want to think about it—did not want to go down those dark, lonely trails in her mind—but she had to. She had to if she wanted to win, to save the people who believed in her so fiercely, but she was scared…so scared…
"I don't know…I don't know…" she whimpered pitifully as a pair of arms closed around her and she instinctively flinched because the Equalists. They were here. They found her. They were going to get her—and she prepared a flash of fire when a hand caught her by the wrists.
She thrashed wildly on the floor as her arms were pinned together, desperately trying to buck her assailant's hold—because she couldn't let them get her. She couldn't let them take her bending away. She wouldn't. Not when so many people depended on her—when she was pulled into someone's chest and found herself lulled by a familiar heartbeat.
"Shhh…" Tahno hushed, ignoring the clench in his gut as he rode out the last waves of her panicked struggle. He could feel her fight die in his arms as lukewarm tears ran trails down his chest. Her breathing came in horrible choking gasps between sobs and he let go of her hands, feeling them cling to his back.
Shifting higher onto his knees, he fit her under his chin, running soothing hands over her hair.
"Shhh…it'll be okay, baby girl. Shhhh…" he reassured, only to feel her cry harder into his skin and her nails bite into his shoulder blades as she struggled to keep away from the abyss of her fear. The familiar clammy sensation of mucus on his chest reached him distantly, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. His anger was gone; he couldn't even summon up enough resentment to feign annoyance at her now because what was there to be angry about anymore? They had both been equally as wrong as they had been right, and he felt his heart clench in his chest at all the terrible things he had said to her.
Tahno was no longer a child. At his age, it was understood that there were certain things one did and did not do upon leaving childhood, so he wouldn't do something as juvenile as to wish he could take back what he had said.
But he was remorseful. At the very least, he was that. He let his anger get the best of him. He had gone weeks keeping in touch with the young girl in his arms in the hope of a word of progress, but when it was becoming clear that nothing was happening, he grew resentful. How dare she flout her responsibilities to the city—to him—he had asked himself. But while Korra was the avatar, she was also still Korra and just as human as he was. Somehow, in his rage, he had forgotten that.
"Shhh…hush now…hush…" he cooed, absentmindedly stroking her hair and murmuring words of comfort to her. He didn't even pay any attention to what he was saying anymore; his voice was mere ambient noise as he tried to calm her. In the back of his head, a part of him wondered if he was really trying to soothe her or if he was really trying to soothe himself, but he quickly ignored it—shut it into a box and threw it away. He would deal with his guilt later when he was alone. Right now, there were more important things at hand, and he refocused on comforting the girl in his arms, running his hands softly through her hair and murmuring words of comfort to her deep into the night as he gently rocked them into sleep.
A/N: Did it live up to my hype? Was it everything you expected? Let me know in a review! :3