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Chapter 2 – Weakening Defenses

Abby was vaguely aware of the truck coming to a standstill, the gradual slowing motion nudging her out of her state of slumber.

Despite the fact that she was looking forward to the trip and the days with her friends, it was the soft fabric and strong muscles it encased that currently held her attention. It was his red hoodie; the one that made her heart skip a beat, the one that set her hormones into chaos, and the one that she loved to nuzzle her face into when he was wearing it.

Abby didn't feel the shift of the seat underneath her, nor did she hear the passenger door gently open and close...all she knew was his scent and the feel of him next to her as she snuggled into his chest.

"Gibbs..." she mumbled sleepily, her hand sliding across his stomach when the rest of her body twisted in an attempt to get closer to him. "You're so warm and comfy."

"Abbs," his voice was rough as he spoke. "We're not in bed...we're here, at the cabins."

She forced her eyes to open, lifting her head back slightly to be greeted with soulful blue eyes that brought a smile to her face. Gibbs looked down on her, his affectionate grin stirring something deep within her. His hand gently soothed up and down her arm, making her weariness subside and freezing her in place.

Her feelings for Gibbs were something Abby had been trying to come to terms with for years, but in the last few months he had become all she could think about. She found herself coming up with excuses to be near him, and even though every day she made progress in getting over the legacy of Harper Dearing, the nights she spent in the same bed as Gibbs were the only ones she rested peacefully.

Forcing herself to look away from him Abby sat up, finding she was alone with Gibbs in the truck. She saw McGee, Palmer and Breena walking Jethro around and inspecting the area around the SUV's, her eyes eventually meeting up with Tony, Ziva and Ducky who all seemed to be too interested in her and Gibbs to pay attention to anything else.

"Guess we should go take a look around," Gibbs suggested, his hand covering hers where it was still on his stomach.

When they slept in the same bed at Gibbs' place there had never been any awkwardness between them. Abby slept in her pajamas and Gibbs usually had either sweatpants or boxers on as well as a t-shirt. He'd always held her in his arms, and Abby had maintained physical contact with him, her hands gently caressing over him to soothe them both to sleep.

To Abby and Gibbs this had become normal behavior, but from the raised eyebrows she was receiving from her co-workers Abby was beginning to wonder if she had just revealed her feelings to everyone.

"Yeah," Abby finally agreed, kissing him on the cheek. "Thanks for the pillow."

"Anytime."

She watched Gibbs open the door and hop out, then slid past him and took hold of his hand, dragging him along behind her to join the others. Unsure of how to get Tony, Ziva and Ducky to look away from them as they approached, it was taken out of her control when Palmer lost his balance and grabbed onto Tony and Ziva to stop from falling.

Keeping her fingers linked with Gibbs', Abby looked around eagerly, squeezing his hand to try and stop herself from literally bouncing up and down. In front of her was a large cabin, its roof covered with a smattering of snow, as was the open area in front of the cabin, which was dotted with several trees.

Behind the cabin was denser forest with several openings in among the trees which looked to Abby like walking tracks. Situated on either side of the main cabin was a smaller cabin, a raised wooden pathway joining the three and linking up to the driveway where all the cars were parked.

Abby pulled Gibbs closer to her, her free hand clutching onto his arm tightly. Now it felt like Christmas, and she knew this was just what she needed, to be in a place with a holiday atmosphere and to be with the people she loved.

"Before we start unpacking stuff," Jimmy started once they were all gathered. "So we know where to take everything, Breena and I are in one of the smaller cabins, Tim and Tony have the other small cabin...with two beds, which leaves Ziva and Abby together in one of the upstairs rooms of the large cabin, Gibbs in the other upstairs room, and Doctor Mallard in the downstairs room."

"Oh please no," Tony groaned. "Surely one of you is willing to swap with me...a guy can only handle so much..."

"No-one is swapping Tony," Ziva answered before anyone else could.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs warned.

"Sorry boss, but if he dies in his sleep it wasn't me."

With her hand still joined to Gibbs', Abby pulled him towards the steps to the front door, the others following behind. Putting the combination into the key safe next the door, Jimmy took out the keys for all three cabins and unlocked the main door and pushed it open.

Gibbs let Abby lead him around the rooms and facilities down stairs, listening to her ramble on excitedly about how cool it was going to be to have their own pool table and mini jukebox, though he doubted any of the music on there would be stuff she'd like. There was also a large screen tv mounted on one of the walls, and several toboggans stacked in the corner near the front door.

Tony, McGee, Jimmy and Breena all went to look at the smaller cabins and Gibbs went over to inspect the fireplace. He instantly regretted the loss of Abby's smaller hand within his as she broke away from him to follow Ziva upstairs.

Taking the stairs up to have a look at his room a few moments later, Gibbs passed Abby and Ziva in the doorway of theirs as they laid claim to which bed they wanted. He fought the urge to tell Abby there was room in his bed if she wanted to share, but decided that was something saved for when they were alone...if he even worked up the nerve to ask her.

The three of them shared a bathroom, complete with hot tub, which was between the two rooms and Ducky had a small bathroom of his own attached to his room downstairs. On the lower level there was also a large kitchen with an adjoining dining area and living room, set up with furniture and all the equipment they'd need to cook their meals every day.

Once they'd unpacked all the vehicles, Abby and Tony started to decorate the Christmas tree while everyone except Gibbs started preparing lunch.

Gibbs watched Abby as he tended to the fire, her face was alight with happiness and he got the impression that she might finally start to feel like she was beginning to recover from the bombing. It had taken countless hours of lost sleep and just as many worrying about her and watching over her when she did sleep, but he hoped this could be her last step to healing.

When Abby slept in the same bed as him, Gibbs found himself wanting to stay awake to watch over her and protect her even when he was exhausted. When she had nightmares he'd sooth her back to sleep, holding out as long as he could just in case she woke, before letting himself succumb to tiredness.

He smiled when Abby clapped her hands together excitedly, the lights on the Christmas tree flashing to life. When they'd booked the cabins she'd called the owners to ask if they could have a tree waiting for them and she'd bring the decorations, and like most people they couldn't refuse Abby.

Gibbs couldn't deny it was beginning to feel more like Christmas with them all together, but as Abby reached up to put the star on top of the tree Gibbs was suddenly reminded about his other family. The one he'd lost.

Certain times of the year had always been more difficult to get through with Shannon and Kelly being gone, and Christmas was one of the hardest...his girls had loved this time of year, just as much as Abby did.

Feeling guilty for thinking about them at the same time he was longing for Abby, Gibbs found himself needing to get away from everyone and have some time to himself, the last thing he wanted was for them to see him so vulnerable. He needed some fresh air, and he needed it now.

He walked passed Abby and Tony and out through the front door, not noticing how Abby followed him with her eyes.

Gibbs knew the only way he'd be able to work through his thoughts was with manual labor, and because he was miles away from his basement he headed towards the woodpile out the front of the cabin.

There was plenty of wood for him to unleash his confused emotions on and he had every intention of going until he'd worked everything out in his head, or he ran out of wood, whatever came first. It didn't matter that there was already more than enough wood stacked along the side of the cabin for them to use, he needed to get himself under control again.

Stripping off his hoodie he gasped as the cold air flowed over his skin. Trying to ignore it, he picked up the axe knowing he'd warm up once he began chopping, at the very least the chill might help to numb his pain.

Each time the sharp blade sliced through a block of wood, Gibbs felt some of his despair dwindle slightly, but the longing he had still remained. He missed his family and that was something that would never change, but the yearning burning through him...that was solely because of Abby. He didn't know that he'd ever be able to tame that and he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to.

"Gibbs..." Abby's voice startled him as she walked up to him, her arms wrapped around her stomach to try and ward off the cold. "Are you okay? You must be freezing."

She'd seen the torment written all over his face as he'd made a hasty retreat from the cabin and had instantly chided herself for not waiting to decorate the tree until Gibbs had been busy with something else. Abby knew this time of year was hard for him, and she could only guess at some of the thoughts that were currently running through his head.

"I'm fine Abbs, just needed some air...it's cold, you should go back inside."

He stood up straight, his chest heaving with exertion, his white t-shirt sticking to his skin with sweat.

"I'm not cold," she lied, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. "Thought I'd sit with you a while, keep you company."

Gibbs reached out to where his red hoodie sat on the woodpile and picked it up, brushing it off as he walked over to Abby.

"Don't want you to get sick," he said holding up the hoodie for her to take. "If you're gonna stay out here, you gotta put that on."

"What if you get sick?"

"I don't get sick. You need it more than me." Gibbs held the piece of clothing closer to her, his glare telling her he wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Abby felt her stomach flip when she nodded and took the hoodie. She almost wished she didn't have her own thin sweater and t-shirt on so she could feel the soft fabric that had not long ago been next to his skin, next to hers.

She tried to contain her sigh as she pulled it on over her head and threaded her arms through, instantly feeling like Gibbs was wrapped around her.

"Better?" Gibbs asked.

"Much."

If only he knew just how good it felt, not only for the warm, but his scent that emanated from it.

Abby watched the muscles of his upper body tense and flex as he lifted the axe and brought it down to cut through the wood. His arms rippled, his shoulders bulging and his chest and back stretching, his damp shirt giving her an even closer glimpse to the curvature of his strong frame.

"Thought you and Tony were doin' the Christmas tree," Gibbs said between chopping.

"He's finishing it off now, wanted to talk to you while I had the chance...just the two of us."

Gibbs lifted his gaze to look at her. "What about?"

Abby nervously looked down at her feet, trying to avoid his blue eyes which were even brighter with the reflected light from the snow. "These last few months...helping me make the decision to talk to Kyle, being with me through the nightmares...accepting me into your bed..."

When she looked up at him again, there was no mistaking the look of longing in Gibbs' expression. Whether it was caused by wanting her to keep going or stop talking, Abby couldn't be sure, but she went on regardless just hoping she was doing the right thing.

"I couldn't have made it through without you Gibbs, you always look after me without question, even at cost to yourself...I love the way you take care of me."

More than anything Abby wanted to tell him at that moment that she was in love with him, but when she walked over to him, her hands reaching out to touch his arms and finding them ice cold, all she could think about was taking care of him this time.

"God, you are freezing, come back inside, please."

When Ducky stepped out the front door and told them lunch was ready, Gibbs nodded his head and waited for the M.E. to return back inside.

"I'll always be here for you Abby and I'll never stop looking after you," he promised, pulling her into his arms.

He was so close to just letting his feelings for her spill out, but when her fingers clenched onto his t-shirt, her face nuzzling into his neck, Gibbs' courage failed him. What if he told her how he felt and she didn't feel the same way? Then they'd be forced to deal with the awkwardness for the next several days. He also didn't want to ruin Christmas for her or the others by throwing them into a situation where there was no escape unless he left the cabins.

Gibbs knew he had to tell her though, he couldn't go on the way he was, and more than anything he needed to find out exactly what her feelings for him were. If she still only saw him as a friend then he could try and move on, but if it went beyond that, then he wanted the chance to show her how she'd become everything to him.

When Gibbs drew back slowly from the embrace, he couldn't help but notice the hesitation Abby had in wanting to move away from him. Their faces were barely inches apart, near enough that he could feel the warmth from her breath.

He wanted to kiss her, wanted to feel the softness of her skin against his and take her in his arms and heat her body in a way that involved no clothing at all.

"Gibbs..."

It came from between Abby's lips as barely a whisper, Gibbs leaning forward and gently rubbing his nose alongside hers. He heard her breath catch, his own becoming fast and deep as he struggled with what he wanted to do and what he thought was the right thing.

"Abbs..."

The moment was shattered in an instant with the boisterous barking of Jethro coming from inside the main cabin. Suddenly reminded of where they were Gibbs made himself draw back from Abby, his gaze wandering to where six pairs of eyes were watching from the window.

Before their stay here ended he would tell Abby how he felt...if her reluctance to move away from him told Gibbs anything, it was that there was a glimmer of hope that she might have similar feelings for him. He just had to wait until the time was right, and until they didn't have an audience.

Gibbs knew that until that moment arrived he wouldn't be able to think about anything else.

TBC...