A/N: Thanks so much to everyone who continues to read and review...and special thanks as always to Gosgirl, for keeping my muse company :)
Chapter 13 – Lost No More
Later that evening after they'd had dinner, Abby decided it was time they got the jukebox going, they were heading home the next morning and she refused to leave without having played at least a few songs. Skimming through them, she programmed several in that wouldn't be too loud for either Ducky or Gibbs. She knew both men wouldn't ask her to turn it off, but she also had an ulterior motive...before the night was through she intended to get Gibbs to dance with her.
Her body was aching all over from using the toboggans and climbing the hill several times but if she picked a slow song to get him to dance Abby knew all of her tired muscles would be forgotten.
Once the music started she returned to where she'd been sitting next to Gibbs on the couch. He'd turned it around to face the dining room, where the others were playing poker, so she could watch and talk to them. She'd joined in for the first couple of games, the hard chairs eventually becoming too uncomfortable for her back and butt to sit on for any longer than that.
"I can get you a cushion or something to sit on Abbs if you wanna play." Gibbs held up the blanket he'd brought out for her, settling it down over her lap when she sat down.
Abby grabbed hold of Gibbs' arm to pull him closer to her. "No, I'm okay here with you."
Gibbs wrapped an arm around her shoulder and she snuggled into his side, resting her head against his chest. "You're not getting sick are you?"
"Don't think so, just tired."
Apart from her early wake up call to Gibbs that morning and all the physical activity during the day, the upset with him about going out with Kyle had also drained her. The idea that she could lose him so soon after them getting together terrified her and even now she found herself needing to be close to him and get that extra bit of reassurance that he wasn't going anywhere.
Gibbs buried his nose in her hair, lowering his voice even though they could barely be heard over the music and the noise from the poker game. "We can go to bed whenever you want."
Abby's eyes widened when she lifted her head to look at him, Gibbs' soft laugh sending a shiver through her.
"To sleep, Abbs."
She loved the thought that she didn't have to go to bed alone anymore, but also that he'd go with her even if he wasn't tired. Just as he had done while she was battling the nightmares, Gibbs would always be there to watch over her, to hold her.
"Maybe in a little while, guess I just wanna make the most of our last night all together."
"I know...promise I'll carry you upstairs this time if you fall asleep."
Abby snorted. "Yeah I probably worked off a few pounds this afternoon."
For the next hour or so the two of them remained on the couch, Abby joining in the conversation while Gibbs was content to sit and watch her interact with the others. He wanted to enjoy the last night with everyone too.
When they returned to work the day after tomorrow, they would once against be faced with hunting down killers and trying to work out why people did some of the evil things they did. But the time they'd spent together over the last several days had brought them all even closer.
His relationship with Abby had also taught him that he could allow himself to be more open around the other people he cared about. Their acceptance of he and Abby being together was proof that they only wanted the best for them, and Gibbs felt better knowing they'd all be returning to work with clearer heads and a better understanding of each other.
DiNozzo, McGee and Ziva were always going to tease and argue with each other, and Gibbs had come to realize it was their way of showing how they cared for one another. If one of his team was in trouble or needed someone they always had each other's six...always.
When Tony went to the kitchen to get another round of beers and some snacks, Gibbs asked him to bring out the bottle of bourbon he'd given him for Christmas. DiNozzo opened it and followed Ducky around to pour some of the amber liquid in the glasses the older man handed out, Ducky insisting that he make a toast before they drank.
Remaining standing the M.E. looked over each of them, a delighted smile lighting up his face. "As immensely grateful as I am to have made it through the ordeals of the past several months, I am even more thankful to have friends...family, who have shown me exactly what I have to live for. This was the best idea you've had in a while Mr Palmer, it's done me the world of good...it has done us all good."
Ducky's eyes settled on Gibbs and Abby who sat together with their hands linked and raised his glass. "To the future."
They all repeated his sentiment, Gibbs and Abby keeping their eyes trained on one another as they spoke. Abby felt like her entire future rested with the man next to her, he'd been such an important part of her life for so many years, but now he had become her life. In the short space of just a few days everything had changed so dramatically that it was difficult to imagine how she ever expected to live without him.
Abby felt the bourbon burn as she swallowed it, waiting until Gibbs had drained his glass before she leaned forward to press a quick kiss to his lips.
"Bourbon shot with a Gibbs chaser...I think that should become a tradition."
"I could live with that."
The music from the jukebox had gone quiet a while before Ducky's speech but Abby had been reluctant to move away from Gibbs, so as everyone else returned to playing cards and Abby felt tiredness beginning to take over her, she decided it was time to ask Gibbs to dance.
She got up and programmed another couple of slow songs on the jukebox then walked over to Gibbs, holding her hand out for him to take when she stood in front of him.
"Dance with me?"
"Abby..." he warned.
Apart from being slightly uncoordinated when it came to dancing Gibbs didn't want to put himself in a position where he'd have to fight like hell to restrain himself.
"Come on Gibbs, please..."
She forced a sad smile to her lips, and he instantly felt his defences start to crumble. Gibbs rolled his eyes, he knew he'd never be able to say no to her and she knew it too. He let Abby tug on his hand once more before he surprised her by standing up and linking his other hand through hers.
"Don't usually dance Abbs," he told her quietly as he let her pull him towards an open area near the fire.
There was considerable distance between where they moved to and where everyone else was, the volume of the music also giving them some privacy to talk.
"With the way I've seen you move those hips of yours the last couple of days that surprises me," Abby teased.
Wrapping her arms around his neck she took a step forward and bridged the distance between them. Gibbs put his hands on her waist, wanting to touch her but still conscious of everybody else in the room.
His cheek rested against Abby's, their mouths close to each other's ear. "That's because when you've seen me move my hips you were naked and what we were doing felt good," he breathed.
"Well we can ask everyone to leave the room if you like."
"Don't tempt me," he grinned, enveloping her more within his embrace as their feet started to move.
After two songs Abby felt herself starting to drift off to sleep in his arms, the gentle sway of their bodies relaxing her, Gibbs' warmth surrounding her. She closed her eyes, the movement of her feet slowing so she was effectively just standing there hugging him.
"Come on, time for bed." Gibbs pressed a kiss to her forehead and unlinked her hands from behind his neck, keeping one within his own.
They said goodnight to everyone and headed upstairs, Gibbs leading the way, his fingers still entwined with Abby's.
Once they were in the bedroom Gibbs switched on the small lamp and they took turns in using the bathroom before the he closed the door behind him, shutting everything else out. Gibbs stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt and walked over to where Abby was sitting on the edge of the bed.
"You okay?"
Abby nodded. "I love them all and had a fun day, but I'm glad to be alone with you again."
She stood up and ran her hands over his chest, her fingers tracing the contours of his muscles and circling around his nipples through the fabric of his grey t-shirt.
"I know what you mean, it's difficult to share."
Gibbs knew if they'd revealed their feelings at home there would've been less time around other people and they would've more than likely spent the last three days in bed. But being here was what Abby needed, she had to be around her friends at this time of year, and he was more than willing to make the most of their first weekend at his place by christening any and every surface she wanted.
"It is..." Abby answered, pausing for a moment before going on. "I've had to share you with too many other women when I'd wished you'd been mine."
"Not any more, don't want anyone else."
"I feel like I've been lost for so long without you...but I guess up until now I never really realized how lonely I was. Don't want to go through that again."
While Abby was well aware of the masks Gibbs kept in place, she also knew she had several of her own. She always tried to be fun and share happiness with others but sometimes that bubbly nature of hers was used to disguise the feelings she was trying to hide. Emotions which recently had everything to do with not being able to be with Gibbs the way she wanted.
Abby yearned to share her life with someone she loved...and that someone was Gibbs.
"You won't have to go through it anymore," Gibbs promised. "Don't intend on ever letting you go, you're mine."
His lips swept slowly over hers several times, trying to reassure her that his words were genuine. When he pulled back he held her face in his hands, his thumbs gently stroking under her eyes.
"You need sleep Abbs...want me to help you get some of those layers off?"
She smiled at him, leaning in to kiss the side of his neck, murmuring next to his skin. "Always trying to get my clothes off."
Gibbs chuckled and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Can you blame me?"
"Not when I'm constantly thinking the same thing," she admitted, stepping out of his arms and walking around to the other side of the bed, watching Gibbs throw back the covers and slip underneath.
Abby removed every item of clothing she had on and crawled into bed next to him. Gibbs groaned when her naked body pressed against him, her hands pushing up his t-shirt until it was lifted over his head.
"Thought you were too tired and sore?" he asked when she tried to lower his boxers.
"I am...just wanna feel you next to me."
Gibbs didn't argue, using his fingers and then his feet to completely remove his boxers. He turned to face her, his lips leaving a trail of kisses across her face.
Abby ran her hands down his cheeks, tilting his head up so she could look at him. "Let me hold you."
Gibbs silently agreed, nodding his head before he reached out to turn off the light and then settle back next to her once he'd pulled the covers over them.
It had become a routine for them to fall asleep with Gibbs' arms wrapped around her, protecting her and keeping her warm. Abby loved that feeling but she now found herself needing to do the same with him...to clutch onto him and remind herself that he was hers.
It was here in bed that they both felt like they didn't need to hide and Abby wanted Gibbs to understand that he could be vulnerable with her and also that sometimes he had to let her take care of him.
Threading the fingers of one hand through the hair on the back of his head Abby pulled his face down towards her chest and Gibbs slid further down the bed so he could press his face against her skin. Abby's other hand spread out over his back, her legs tangling with his as Gibbs brushed his lips over the swell of her breasts.
Gibbs' arms wrapped around her middle and she held on to him as if her life depended on it, her arm tightening around his back when a relieved sigh escaped her. She wondered if he realized just how much she needed him and whether he understood how much he deserved to have someone who would put him above all else.
"Only want you Abby," Gibbs reassured her again, turning his head so he could listen to her heart beat under his ear.
"You have me."
She closed her eyes, ignoring everything but the way he felt next to her. All of the women he'd been with, that Abby had watched him flirt with and take home, were now a thing of the past. She would no longer have to suffer in silence and torture herself thinking about what could be.
Letting Gibbs' steady breathing completely relax her, within minutes Abby was asleep, her final thoughts before she drifted off of the man beside her and how she would do anything to end each day with him enfolded in her arms.
TBC...