Chapter 4
Once Upon A Time
Considering how big a fan he was of the show, Tommy didn't know why he had gone to such a Byzantine effort to make sure that producing it wasn't seen as his idea. Maybe he was thinking of things in the same way that Rachel and Finn had thrown the duets competition. Maybe he didn't want the headaches of trying to handle the whole thing by himself. Whatever the reason, he had decided to let Kurt and Rachel to be the one to float the idea to Mr. Schuster rather than him.
"You want to do Into The Woods as the school play this year?" he had asked when the idea was poised.
"It's one of the most accessible of the shows Stephen Sondheim has ever done," Rachel argued. "Add to that, because it practically takes place in the middle of fairy tales, I don't see how anybody on either the school board or the parents group could have any objections to putting in on."
"Plus we could use the ticket sales as proceeds to buy the airfare we need to get to Nationals," Kurt added.
Mr. Schuster was a little reluctant to put in a second major project with Sectionals little more than a month away, but he didn't seem that ill-disposed. It was then Tommy decided to weigh in with his opinion, one that might have scuttled the whole project.
"If we're going to do this, we need to do it right," he told them.
"Meaning?"
"Both acts," he told them.
Everybody else in the classroom was puzzled by this seemingly bizarre condition. Kurt and Rachel, however, knew what he was talking about, and actually seemed a bit worried about it.
"I thought the whole point of doing a show would be, like, doing a show," Mercedes asked. "What are we missing here?"
"The reason that this show gets produced in middle schools everywhere is because they only do the first act," Rachel admitted. "That one is fluffy and light enough so that it can be considered child-safe."
"What happens in the second act?"
"People start dying," Kurt told them. "How many is a matter for debate, but I think at least five or six people get killed."
Mr. Schuster had to know enough about theater to know about the play's shortcoming. The fact that he hadn't dismissed this outright had to mean that he was at least considering it.
"To do only half the show loses the entire point of it," Tommy argued. "The whole point of Into the Woods is that there is no such thing as happily ever after. At some point children have to grow into adults, and we all face our nightmares. The last two numbers say the exact kind of message that our parent have been putting in our heads for years. Isn't that the whole point of coming here in the first place?"
He realized he had put a lot more of himself out there than he had wanted to, but why else had he gone to Kurt and Rachel with this idea at all? And it apparently had done its job, because Mr. Schue finally said. "OK, I'll persuade Figgins.
It was only after hearing this that Tommy realized he had committed himself to performing on stage in front of the student body, something that he was still trying to gain enough willpower to do at Sectionals about five weeks from now.
I really gotta think these through before I launch these kinds of ideas.
He had expected Rachel and Kurt to start preaching for themselves in the lead roles, but then he remembered Into The Woods, for all intents and purposes, didn't have leads in the same way that other Sondheim shows did. Also, it turned out the play had eighteen parts in it, which was still more than there were in New Directions, even if Puckerman hadn't been stuck in juvie. Tommy would have suggested his friends in the band, but that would just cause them to be short musicians. They were going to need to audition, which might lead to a whole new of problems.
The first of his problems came when Quinn approached and asked him for advice on what role she should try out for.
"You get any ideas from the book?" he asked.
"You seem to know this show better than almost everyone else," she told him. "Maybe you can tell me which part I'd be best suited for."
"Well, the good thing about just about every show Stephen Sondheim has ever written is that there are usually lots of great roles for women," he told her honestly. "And there are at least four really strong roles for females with some really superb numbers for all of them."
Quinn had read the book. "Rachel tells me she wants to be Cinderella," she told him.
"That's something of a shock," he admitted. "Given how big a diva she is, I figured she'd go for the Witch."
Quinn started laughing. "Little Miss Schoolgirl do half the show wearing an ugly mask?"
"Bernadette Peters had the role on Broadway. It's not quite Streisand, but I'm pretty sure that's gotta be on her top ten list of Idols. You gotta figure..."
Quinn stopped laughing. "You think I could pull it off?"
"Honestly?" he asked. "The first person I thought of doing this was Santana."
"Yeah, that doesn't take that much of a stretch to go there," Quinn said thoughtfully. "She'd probably embrace the whole thing, even if she had to wear that kind of makeup for the first act."
Tommy wasn't quite listening. Had he any preference for casting, Quinn would've probably made the ideal Little Red Riding Hood. She had the right kind of build and energy for this part, and it was one of the bigger ones. Still... "You know any numbers for Cinderella?"
Quinn looked a little shocked at this. "I think so,"
"Then audition for me right now."
She considered this for a moment. "Her big number, the one where she leaves her shoe behind for the prince?"
Tommy inwardly winced. This was one of the most difficult numbers in the entire score. He was pretty sure Rachel would have trouble with it. But if she wanted this part, she had to give it her all. "I'll accompany you," he told her, and walked over to the piano. "Just give me a second.
He started playing. Quinn closed her eyes, and began:
He's a very smart prince,
He's a prince who prepares,
Knowing this time I'd run from him,
He spread pitch on the stairs.
I was caught unawares.
And I thought: "Well, he cares"
This is more than just malice.
Better stop and take stock
While you're standing here stuck on the steps of the palace.
You think, what do you want?
You think, make a decision.
Why not stay and be caught?
You think well, it's a thought
What would be his response?
But then what if he knew
Who you were when you know
That you're not what he thinks
That he wants?
And then what if you are
What a prince would envision?
Although how can you know
Who you are til you know
What you want, which you don't?
So then which do you pick:
Where you're safe, out of sight,
And yourself, but where everything's wrong?
Or where everything's right, but you know that you'll never belong?
And whichever you pick,
Do it quick,
'Cause you're starting to stick to the steps of the palace?
It's your first big decision,
The Choice isn't easy to make,
To arrive at a ball
Is exciting and all -
Once you're there, though, it's scary
And it's fun to deceive, when you know you can leave
But you have to be wary.
There's a lot that's at stake,
but you've stalled long enough,
'Cause you're still standing stuck in the stuff on the steps...
Better run along home
And avoid the collision
Even though you don't care,
you'll be better of there
Where there's nothing to choose
So there's nothing to lose.
So you pry up your shoes.
Then from out of the blue,
and without any guide
You know what your decision is,
Which is not to decide.
You'll just leave him a clue:
For example, a shoe.
And then see what he'll do.
Now it's he and not you
who is stuck with a shoe
In a stew, in the goo,
And you've learned something, too,
Something you never knew,
On the steps of the palace!
When Schuster and Pillsbury, who were unofficial casting directors, heard her nail it, they were bowled over. Even Rachel, who'd auditioned first, had to admit that she'd gotten it right the first time, and was willing to yield the part to Quinn. She took the slightly larger, but slightly more restrained, role of the Baker's wife. She didn't even seem to mind when Finn ended up with the role of Prince Charming.
Maybe she didn't mind, because in the second act, the Prince revealed himself to be an adulterous swine, having an illicit relationship with her. It was a little ill-spirited, but maybe she saw it as the equivalent of her real relationship. Quinn didn't seem to mind, so neither would he.
The rest of the auditions what pretty much first come, first serve, with the exception of the role of the Witch. Apparently, take no prisoners Santana didn't want to go anywhere near the makeup she would have to wear for the first hour of the role.
Tommy had been sure Mercedes would jump at the chance to finally be playing a big, belt-out role, but strangely enough, she had to be talked into it by Kurt and himself.
"I finally get the lead role, and I have to look like a damn hag for most of it," she groused a little.
"You're telling me that Mercedes Jones would rather slink in the background, then have the chance to belt out a couple of the greatest numbers in the history of musical theater?" Kurt was clearly shocked. "Have you been replaced by a robot?"
"Maybe I'm just not that wild about getting typecast as a villain this early on," she told them.
"Mercedes, do you know who the second person was to play this role after Bernadette Peters left the show?" Tommy asked. "Phylicia Rashad. Mrs. Huxtable herself. And she owned it. You think she gave a damn about how it made her look?"
That apparently was enough to push the diva towards it. Which probably made the most sense. Mercedes might have been his second choice, but once they heard her perform 'Stay With Me', he realized he'd been ranking her far too low.
Into the Woods: Final Role Call
Cinderella - Quinn Fabray
Jack - Kurt Hummel
Little Red Riding Hood - Santana Lopez
Cinderella's Prince/Wolf - Finn Hudson
Rapunzel - Brittany Pierce
Rapunzel's Prince - Mike Cheng
The Baker - Tommy Grayson
The Baker's Wife - Rachel Berry
The Witch - Mercedes Jones
The Narrator/Mysterious Man - Artie Abrams
Grandmother/ Jack's Mother - Tina Cohen-Chang
Even though he had been one of the people behind the scenes pushing to get Into the Woods to be their school production, Tommy was surprised- and to be perfectly honest, a little appalled to find that he had been cast in one of the most important roles. He would've been just happy appearing in a much smaller role - Rapunzel's prince suited him much more in both the number and temperament of the kind of role he wanted.
But as soon as the show was nailed down, everybody else seemed to have a pretty solid idea of who wanted to do what, and somehow both Rachel and Kurt began pushing him for one of the larger ones. They had been more concerned in getting spear-carriers for the smaller roles that were left, and before he could lean towards them, they were all gone, and he was one of the leads. He might have argued more, but before they could start yelling, they had to begin rehearsals. (The turnaround time was so rushed because they didn't want to have this interfering that much with the lead up to Sectionals.)
Tommy had known that he was going to have to get over his nerves a lot quicker than he had wanted too, but he had been hoping that it wouldn't have to happen in front of the student body, most of which, now had good reason to be hostile towards him. As it was, a role which he had more or less memorized by the time he was twelve was becoming a nightmare to get through.
Perhaps he shouldn't have been that surprised that Rachel was the one who came to him two days after the rehearsals began.
"Everyone's giving Kurt and me the credit for coming up with this play," she started slowly. "Which is really kind of amazing, since I'm pretty sure this was all your idea."
"I thought the last school production was pretty much a wall-to-wall suckfest," Tommy said slowly. "And considering that you basically abandoned it a week before it opened, it doesn't take a genius to see that it needed help."
"It also doesn't mean we had to pick up the slack," Rachel replied. "I wanted to do a show, too, but I probably would've played for something like Funny Girl or Grease. Why this show?"
Tommy didn't have to think that much. "When I was nine years old, my grandparents got me the DVD for the original Broadway cast of Into the Woods. My grandparents had been trying to instill a love of music and theater in me for a couple of years, and were mostly coming up short. But when I saw this production, heard that cast sing these songs, suddenly I understood what theater could do. Suddenly, I realized the potential of what Stephen Sondheim was capable of. I've listened to the soundtracks of a lot of shows ever since, but this show transformed my life." He looked Rachel. "I know that kids my age are supposed to have fantasies about winning the World Series for the Reds or becoming the next Steve Jobs. I just wanted to hear the right voice singing Putting It Together."
"That's your favorite Sondheim?" Rachel said warily. "Not 'Send In The Clowns' or 'Being Alive'?"
Tommy gave a very self-conscious smile. "I worship Mandy Patinkin. I realize even among Broadway freaks that makes me a very specific ubernerd. " Even now, among one of the performers he admired most, he refused to admit his greatest quirk.
Rachel looked at him. 'Why is it you practically had to be dragged kicking and screaming into glee?" she asked earnestly. "Was it all the abuse we take from just about everybody else, because you really don't seem to be the kind of person that cares what other people think, certainly not the student body?"
He had expected a question like this from just about everyone in the club by now, especially given the unspoken understanding that everybody seemed to have that he had been the one behind the attack on Cliff.
"Honestly, Rachel, I have other ambitions that don't involve performing. Dreams that I want to carry out on my own."
Rachel looked like her jaw was going to drop. "You're basically a piano prodigy and a brilliant singer. Is there anything you can't do?"
"Successfully play any sport, perform elementary calculus, and explain what the hell what was going on in the final season of Lost," Tommy told her. "But seriously, there is something you can help me with, and considering you're probably an expert at it."
Rachel actually looked a little surprised to hear this, which had been his intention; he had already bared enough of his soul, and he didn't want to do any more. "What exactly do you have a problem with?"
"A pretty lousy case of stage fright." He paused. "That's the other big reason I didn't audition. I have enough problems performing in front of everyone in Glee."
"Well, if you can get through this play, you'll probably be set for Sectionals," Rachel's tone was all business. "I think we need to get started now."
"The sooner, the better."
"You've clearly got a good imagination, so I want you to try and picture the whole auditorium as full as it's going to be on opening night," Rachel told him. "Normally, I'd tell you to close your eyes and do it, but I think that you're smart enough to do that on your own."
Unfortunately, she was right on this. It didn't take much thought to picture the audience filled with people. He didn't recognize any of them, but he was pretty sure that they all hated him. Why this many people would've come to the performance was just to boo him was a little beyond him, but having seen what happened last year, he couldn't admit that it was outside the realm of possibility.
"OK, now what?" he asked.
"Now comes the hard part, you have to forget that they're in the room," Rachel said slowly. "Now I want you to turn around, and just focus on me. Most of the time you're going to focus on other performers, but seeing where we are.."
"I get it," he said quickly. The pitch of his voice was beginning to rise just a bit. Why an imaginary crowd was beginning to panic him just went to show how deep this fear was.
He never knew whether Rachel had picked this song on purpose, or whether it was simple coincidence - after all, they did need to rehearse it. All he knew was that she was singing:
You've changed.
You're daring.
You're different in the woods.
More sure,
More sharing,
You're getting us through the woods.
If you could see-
You're not the man who started,
And much more open-hearted.
Then I knew
You to be.
There was a pause before he started his part. Not significant, but he was pretty sure Rachel noticed.
It takes two.
I thought one was enough,
It's not true.
It takes two of us.
You came through.
When the journey was rough.
It took you.
It took two of us.
It takes care.
It takes patience and fear and despair to change
Though you swear
To Change
Who can tell if you do?
It takes two.
He was pretty sure his voice was a little bumpier, but Rachel either didn't notice or had channeled her inner performer when she ploughed on;
You've changed.
You're thriving.
There's something about the woods.
Not just surviving
You're blossoming in the woods.
At home I'd fear
We'd stay the same forever.
And then out there
You're passionate, charming, considerate, clever:
Did she mean it?
It takes one
To begin, but then when you've begun
It takes two of you.
It's no fun,
But what needs to be done you can do.
When there's two of you.
If I dare
It's because I'm becoming aware of us
As a pair of us
Each accepting a share
Of what's there.
They hadn't yet worked on their choreography (another reason he had liked Into the Woods was that there was next to no dancing in it) but Rachel had clearly spent a large part of her life practicing this. They moved more towards each other as they wrapped it up.
We've changed.
We're strangers.
I'm meeting you in the woods.
Who minds what dangers?
I know we'll get past the woods.
And once we're past
Let's hope the changes last.
Beyond woods,
Beyond witches and slippers and hoods
Just the two of us
Beyond lies,
Safe at home with our beautiful prize
Just the few of us.
It takes trust.
It takes just a bit more,
and we're done.
We want four,
We had none,
We've got three.
We need one.
It takes two.
The number was one of the more buoyant in the show, but when it was over, Tommy felt as if he were on the verge of collapse. He thought he was doing a good job of hiding it.
He wasn't. "Are you okay?" Rachel asked.
Tommy thought about lying, then realized that she, of all the members of the team, was least likely to be fooled. "I think I'm going to piss my pants," he admitted.
Rachel was nearly as modest as Kurt was, but she didn't flinch at this locker room talk. "I don't think I'd use those terms, but I've felt that way from time to time."
"You never seem to show it," he told her.
"I've gotten used it. After a couple of times it goes away." She hesitated. "Or you're so used to the feeling it doesn't matter."
This was not the lesson he wanted to hear. "Then I guess we'd better do this again," Tommy told her. "Hopefully, it'll kick in eventually."
Rachel didn't raise an objection. He knew for all the crap half of New Directions gave her, she rehearsed more than anybody on the team.
"Thanks, by the way," he told her.
She didn't show it, but she didn't get thanked that much either. He knew it meant something to her.
When it came to learning his part, he had some of the least work to do of any of the others - he'd seen the show so many times on DVD, he practically had both the book and the score memorized. But he was feeling a lot shakier than just about anyone else in the cast. Even Mike, who fully admitted he was the least talented singers, and was not at all comfortable with having to do two pretty important duets in the middle, seemed more comfortable in his skin than he did.
Rachel and Mercedes, who had the majority of their scenes with him, didn't say anything for a while, because he was getting through the read-through without blowing his lines, but on the day of the final dress rehearsal, they and Quinn finally confronted him.
"We've been cutting you slack because technically speaking you're still the new guy," Mercedes told him, "but we're less than twelve hours before the curtain goes up, and you still look like you'd rather be anywhere else."
Tommy really didn't want to have this conversation, even with people whose opinions he respected. "I don't know what your problems are," he told them. "I haven't missed a cue."
"If performing were just about memorizing your lines, a lot more people could do it," Rachel replied. He must have looked doubtful at that, because she followed it. "Putting on this show was basically your idea, and you're still acting like it's homework."
"Well, then maybe I should've kept my mouth shut," Tommy said coldly. "At least I wouldn't be feeling like I was going to explode and implode at the same time."
"I don't buy for one second that this is just stage fright," Quinn said bluntly. "I know you get nervous about some things, but I've never seen you afraid."
"Then you clearly don't know me very well. I get scared as much as any of you do," he tried.
"Speak for yourself," Mercedes told him.
"Maybe being on stage doesn't frighten you, but I'm willing to bet there are some things that make you want to crawl under your covers, and pray for daylight," Tommy told them.
"You're changing the subject, and you're still lying," Quinn argued. "This isn't about us; it's about you being so stiff out there, you're in danger of falling over."
They were right about this, but he'd be damned if he'd turn his life into a therapy session. He therefore tried to deflect. "How much of this about you being worried how I'll do at Sectionals?"
"For crying out loud, not everything is about winning!" Rachel must have been getting exasperated, because she sounded truly agitated for the first time since he'd joined glee.
"Don't shit a shitter, Rachel," Tommy fired back. "All you give a crap about is being the best at everything having to do with this club. You're honestly telling me that this isn't about my making you look bad?"
Rachel blushed a little, but she didn't back away from this.
"You're very good at being honest about everybody else," Mercedes fired back. "Why the hell doesn't that apply to you?"
"For Christ's sake, this is a school play, not a blind audition in front of Andrew Lloyd Weber! What difference does it make if I'm a little stiff?" By now, his voice had gone up a couple of octaves, but he no longer cared. He wanted them to just let this go, but there didn't seem to be much chance of that.
Rachel and Mercedes looked like they were going to press this, but at this point Quinn told them to give them a couple of minutes alone
"Please tell me that there is something real behind this intervention then the egos of the biggest divas in this school," Tommy said the second that they were gone.
"I'm just trying to figure this out," she told him. "This wasn't an idle thing for you, you spent a week doing ground work for it. You get one of the biggest parts in the show, and ever since then you've been acting like we killed a puppy in front of you. "
"That'll teach me not to try so hard," He finally gave a sigh. "This is an important play to me. It's part of the reason I fell in love with the theater. And I'll admit, part of it is because I'm so scared of screwing up in front of the student body in this show, of all shows." Tommy looked at her. "I'm about to make my stage debut. Isn't that enough of a reason to be a little wooden?"
Quinn considered this. "It's a reason to be concerned. I know it bothers me half the time when I perform. But don't tell me the guy who went into the boys locker room and assaulted the star linesman is scared of just that."
"Does everybody know about that?" He knew he was dodging the issue, so he decided to level a little. "Maybe I'd have had less trouble if I was playing a different part. But I kind of have issues with some of the lines I have to say in the second act."
Quinn didn't argue with that. Clearly she'd seen some of his wincing through at least two of the last numbers. "The song after Rachel gets killed or the one where you run away from your problems?"
"Both of them actually." There was no good lead into this, and the only reason he'd raise the question in the first place is because Quinn had mentioned some of the hellfire she'd been going through ever since she'd moved back in with her mother. "Have you even seen your father since your mother left?"
Quinn shook her head. "Frankly, I'm not sure I could handle it if I saw him. He knows better by now." She paused. "This about what happened to your mom?"
"More like what my father did. I say I'm okay over the last six years, but frankly I'm not wild about having to basically talk out some of my issues right in front of any father."
"Even one who you know sits next to you in Trig?" Quinn was trying to be light, but she knew than this was a sore point with him.
"I know there are some people who think of art as therapy," Tommy told her. "I'm not one of them. I went through enough of it on my own to not want it in my spare time. And whatever issues I have with my father, I really don't think doing it in front of half the school is the best place."
Quinn agreed with that much even if she doubted some of the last statement. "You really think they're going to give that much of a damn?" she asked.
"Says the woman who was the poster child for this last year? I'm sorry, Quinn, but I don't think either of us can take the high road here," he told her. He hadn't, but he knew he was dancing very close to the edge.
To his immense relief, she didn't take it that personally. "Half of the people are going to think I'm doing some kind of wish fulfillment out there," she admitted, "and they're probably reading something into the whole Finn as Prince Charming thing, but I'm not naive enough to think to that I'm that person any more. I don't care what anyone thinks any more. Neither should you."
This part he didn't fully believe, but he decided that Quinn was giving him the benefit of the doubt, he should be willing to do the same. "I still probably would've been better off as the Narrator," he told her. "But you're right, this was my idea, I better follow through the rest of the way."
"You wouldn't have liked that. You wouldn't have been able to sing," she pointed out as they went back inside. "And that does matter to you, so don't say otherwise."
He didn't tell that, to a point, the Narrator of the show was in control of his own destiny. Tommy didn't feel in control that way anymore, and would've given anything to feel that way again.
The rest of the rehearsal went fine; at least, no one else bothered to tell him, he was doing this flatly, and there were no hidden surprises before they went onstage. (There had been rumor that Coach Sylvester had been sniffing around the production trying to find ways to shut it down, but even though she considered fairy tales "an infantile subject for an infantile audience" she didn't have any pull that she might've had the show been something a little more risqué.)
So, the show went on, and so did they. Considering that much of the first act was high comedy (and what wasn't was considered safe enough to perform in grade schools across the country) everything seemed to go very well. The extras they had cast to do small roles throughout the show didn't raise any troubles, and didn't seem to have much of a problem with learning the lines or the work. (From his vantage point, he thought that the actors who played Cinderella's stepsisters were very good, considering they had to go through more punishment than just about every other character in Act I). Even Mike, who had expressed dismay at having to do a duet with the show's best male singer, acquitted himself well in the duet between the Princes in the middle of Act I. He had more talent than he was willing to give himself credit for.
The second act had taken a fair amount of work, and not just from the prop department.(It is not easy to make an entire set shake when you've blown your budget on making a fake beanstalk.) Mr. Schuster had to fight to keep the guts of the second act in the play, especially the scene between Prince Charming and the Baker's Wife, which begins with flirtation, and ends with her being crushed by the giant. They had only gotten away with some of the violence by implying there was a lot less than there was. The fate of the royal family could be read either way, and no one was quite sure what happened to the Witch. (Rachel was sure she had survived; Tommy was no less sure she had died.)
But the overall effect seemed to be working. He had no idea if the audience, having gotten high comedy in the first act, would be accepting of what happened in the second act. It seemed to be going over well, but he wasn't sure if it would last. He knew that he had some important lines to sing in the last half hour, and, all motivational speaking aside, he still wasn't sure whether he could do it.
Then suddenly, he was on stage walking towards Artie. (They really had to go through a very big suspension of disbelief to not know two different actors were playing the same role.)
"I thought you were dead," he said.
"Not completely," Artie told them. He wondered if everyone chuckling had any better idea as to how this was possible. "Are we ever?"
"As far as I'm concerned, you are," Tommy yelled.
"Is that true?"
"It's because of you, all of this has happened!"
"I climbed into the garden to steal your mother a gift, and I foolishly took a handful of beans for myself." Artie paused. "How was I to know? How are we ever to know?"
Tommy reminded himself this was just a play.
"When she died, I ran from my guilt. Now aren't you doing the same thing?"
They didn't notice how long it took him to answer that question. "No"
"Aren't you running away?"
No one in the audience knew that it took Tommy a few seconds longer than necessary to hit his cue.
No more questions.
Please.
No more tests.
Comes the day you say: "What for?"
Please - no more.
Artie didn't hesitate.
They disappoint,
They disappear,
They die, but they don't.
They disappoint in turn, I fear
Forgive, though, they won't.
Tommy didn't need a minute this time, but it was a near thing.
No more riddles.
No more jests.
No more curses you can't undo
Left by fathers you never knew,
No more quests.
No more feelings.
Time to shut the door.
Just - no more.
Artie was a much more experienced performer than him; he could tell that Tommy was a lot more brittle, so he just did his part as best he could.
Running away - let's do it,
Free from the ties that bind.
No more despair
Or burdens to bear
Out there in the yonder.
Running away - go to it.
Where do you have in mind?
Have to take care:
Unless there's a "where,"
You'll only be wandering blind.
Just more questions,
Different kind.
Where are we to go?
Where are we ever to go?
Running away - we'll do it.
Why sit around, resigned?
Trouble is, son,
The farther your run,
The more you'll feel undefined.
For what you have left undone,
and, more, what you've left behind.
We disappoint,
We leave a mess,
We die, but we don't.
It took a lot of effort for him to do his part.
We disappoint in turn, I guess
Forget. though, they won't.
Like father, like son.
Artie had enough ability to wheel off mysteriously. Tommy was clearly in anguish. It helped his performance, if nothing else.
No more giants
Waging war.
Can't we just pursue our lives
With our children and our wives?
Till that happier day arrives,
How do you ignore?
All the witches,
All the curses,
All the wolves, all the lies,
The false hopes, the goodbyes,
the reverses.
All the wondering what even worse is
Still in store?
All the children...
All the giants...
No more.
The applause may have been the biggest of the night, but he barely heard it. Only Santana and Kurt who passed him, as he exited, noticed the tears in his eyes.
He managed to pull himself together for the next few minutes, but by far the most difficult emotional number lay ahead. He wondered if Rachel would've had the same problems he would, but technically speaking she was better off dead.
Quinn had the more painful part. The dialogue where Cinderella had to essentially break off her relationship with Prince Charming was probably something she didn't need to go through again.
Then came the number that essentially set up the end of the finale. Little Red Riding Hood, who's been the greatest source of strength throughout the show (in that sense, at least, Santana was perfectly cast) now facing real death, becomes frightened at last and misses her mother. Not for the first time, Tommy found himself wondering what Santana's home life was like. She had managed to avoid discussing it for the last year.
Then, as he was sometimes, the music got to him. Not the best thing to do, considering he was on next, but that was the power of Sondheim.
Mother cannot guide you.
Now you're on your own.
Only me beside you.
Still, you're not alone.
No one is alone, truly.
No one is alone.
Sometimes people leave you.
Halfway through the wood.
Others may deceive you.
You decide what's good.
You decide alone.
But no one is alone.
The scene then changed (as best as it could) to the Baker and Jack. Even knowing it was make-believe, Tommy didn't like telling him about the death of his mother. Jack vowed to kill in vengeance, and he had to talk him down.
Quinn and he alternated the rest of the song.
Mother isn't here now.
Wrong things, right things
Who knows what'd she say?
Who can say what's true.
Nothing's quite so clear now.
Do things, fight things.
Fell you've lost your way.
You decide, but you are not alone.
Believe me.
No one is alone.
You just move a finger.
Say the slightest word.
Something's bound to linger,
Be heard.
No one acts alone.
Careful, no one is alone.
People make mistakes.
Fathers, mothers,
People make mistakes.
Holding to their own.
Thinking they're alone.
Honor their mistakes.
Fight for their mistakes.
Everybody makes
One another's.
Terrible mistakes.
Witches can be right.
Giants can be good.
You decide what's right.
You decide what's good.
Just remember.
Someone is on your side.
Someone else is not
While we're seeing our side -
Our side
Maybe we forgot.
They are not alone.
No one is alone.
The show had gone over spectacularly, which, considering how many people seemed to openly loathe the Glee club, came as a huge surprise to Tommy. He wasn't the kind of person who looked for applause, but he seemed to get nearly as much as Finn and Rachel did, and for the briefest of moments, he began to understand why so many of the Glee clubbers performed.
However, rather than go out for the after-party, he had begged off. He needed to decompress a little, and he wanted to congratulate his friends in the orchestra who had done so well, and who he hung out with a lot less these days.
"Was it everything you hoped it would be?" He looked up to see that Quinn had apparently not gone out to get pizza with everyone else.
"I don't know. Nothing's ever as good as the buildup," he said slowly.
"Are you okay? Both Artie and Kurt thought you we're going to have some kind of breakdown," Quinn asked.
"There are just some times that I really miss my mother," he admitted. "I mean, my grandparents are wonderful, but..." He didn't finish.
"You know, you can talk about these things," she told him. "We all support each other in this club, and you've more than proved that you belong here.
"You're not going to tell me that 'no one is alone', are you?" he tried to joke.
"I'm not nearly as cute as Rachel when it comes to thinking that way," she told him.
He considered this. "All right, then answer me this: are you my girlfriend?" Tommy looked at her. "We have been hanging out a lot, but still.."
She thought this over. "This may be the first honest relationship I've been in," Quinn told him. "I was never honest with Finn, and Puck and I had nothing in common except a child that neither one of us is ever going to raise. I think I'd like a real relationship for once."
"You're not worried that it'll knock you back down to the bottom of the food chain?" This was a very real question.
"I think today you proved you have leading man qualities, and I think you do. On and off the stage."
"Show's over. And I think we just proved that happy endings aren't real/" Tommy reminded her.
"How about we just try to enjoy the moment for now? Maybe we don't worry about "happy ever after."
He walked over to her. "I think I'll settle for a slice of pizza for now," Tommy told her. "Tomorrow, it's back to prepping for sectionals. But tonight, I'll settle for a moment in the woods."
The two of them walked out. But even though he enjoyed the evening, a part of him was considering the same thing he had always considered when listening to the show in any form. The last line that Quinn herself had delivered after the chorus of happy ever after's.
I wish...