Anote: Last one in this series

Chapter 17- Friends and or lovers part6

'And what is that?' Erik asked craning his head forward to catch a glimpse inside the bakery box that Charles was looking into with a depressed sort of scowl.

The younger man put the box to one side without a word and once again, as he had been doing throughout the meal, he moved his hand over to cover that of his companion.

The entire length of Erik's left arm had turned numb a long time ago, but except for whenever Charles had needed his two hands (and there he took the opportunity to clench his fist to restart blood circulation) he had not bothered to remove it. The act made him feel as though he was actively providing comfort and support albeit on a smaller scale than what Charles, with his lavish purse and large house, could potentially provide.

Nevertheless, the professor seemed quite content with Erik's small offering. He wasn't bouncing around in his chair in giggly happiness (which would have made Erik gag in any case) but instead quietly facilitated the effort by voluntarily slicing meat and vegetables and transferring across to Erik's plate so that they both could progress through the meal in spite of his self imposed handicapped state.

He had already told Xavier that he was accepting his offer to wait until he was ready to discuss Shaw. The older man felt a little guilty about boxing Charles in a corner, using the man's generous nature to his advantage. The younger man understandably looked worried but of course had graciously consented, as Erik knew he would. He wished he could say something more reassuring but he desperately did not want to compound his offense by laying down one lie after the next. For better or for worse, Charles' good opinion meant something to him and he wished to hold on to it for as long as possible. He knew it couldn't be for too long.

However, returning to their conversation regarding the unsettled state of their relationship was not so easy. Every time he opened his mouth, nothing came out. He knew what he wanted to say but he didn't know how to say that it was because he cared that he was being such a dick. Charles was no better as he determinedly steered the conversation to more neutral topics of the university and current international political and social events.

Like a pair of reluctant boxers, they circled and feinted but in the end backed away; both loathe to upset the pleasant afternoon with what was sure to be another resounding, noisy squabble.

'It's tiramisu, a thank you for your help this morning. It's all smushed from where I dropped it. Give it here and I'll throw it away and buy you something else,' Charles explained, after his futile attempt to hold on the damaged dessert had failed.

The older man raised a perplexed, exasperated eyebrow.

'Don't lecture Erik,' the other man sighed, helping himself to some tea. 'I buy presents all the time for people.'

'Grab a plate,' the older man ordered and he tipped out the confection, where it lolled out looking a little pathetic on Xavier's expensive white china. 'That doesn't sound like you Charles, to throw away something because it's a little beaten down.'

The professor's eyes sparkled as he handed Erik a spoon, his lightening quick mind having quickly deciphered the older man's double meaning.

'You know me too well, my friend,' he replied in kind. Not even when all hope was gone would he give up on someone who needed him.

In the meantime as his tea cooled, he watched in pleasure as the taller man sampled his gift. Most people would have said 'thank you' or 'you shouldn't have', but Erik had offered neither of those conventional platitudes. Instead he responded in his particular arch manner; a teasing deflection when he said one thing and meant something else entirely. It gave the professor a pure rush of adrenaline to match his mental wits with the other man, and each time he successfully deciphered a cleverly couched riddle, he felt a thrill of satisfaction.

And with all things that affected adrenaline, it was becoming addictive. As he continued to stare, Charles abstractedly gnawed on his knuckle while the finger tips of his other hand unconsciously traced a small circle on the inside of Erik's wrist. He was becoming increasingly drawn in by the other man's complexity and un-conventional ways; the way Erik had just licked his spoon, for instance.

Fuck!

He swiftly removed his hand from Erik's under the pretense of holding his hot cup of tea. Had the other man done that on purpose? No, no, that would make no sense, the younger man reasoned as he shifted around uncomfortably in his chair trying to relieve the sudden tightness in his pants.

'Charles, can I ask you something?'

Erik looked across in surprise as the other man started so violently that it caused the entire table to shake.

'I'm fine,' the Englishman reassured him, waving at him to continue his question.

'Does that chauffeur of yours, know that you bought this cake for me?' the older man asked unexpectedly.

The professor opened his hands in helpless confusion, not bothering to answer such a strange question immediately, as it was evident that the older man had something on his mind.

'I've spoken to him a few times and Logan is very protective of you,' Erik proceeded to explain further. 'What exactly is the nature of your relationship?'

It was Charles' turn to arch a perplexed eyebrow, 'Nothing like what you are thinking.'

Leaning forward to press the point the other man asked again. 'Charles, are you sure?'

Unpleasant memories that he thought he had forgotten suddenly intruded, as the Englishman took a moment to sip his tea. The fact that it was still scalding hot didn't even garner his attention.

With a deliberate effort he replaced the cup gently in its saucer. 'You sound like my ex-. If anything male so much as looked at me he was annoyed.'

Charles looked across to judge a response but the other man's face was nonjudgmental yet interested, encouraging him to speak further of matters that were both a source of acute embarrassment and irritation to him now. 'At first I thought it was lovely that…that David was so jealous but not so much after awhile.'

The older man companionably held out his empty coffee cup to the other man. 'In my experience, I have found that anyone who constantly accuses someone, is more than likely guilty of the offense themselves.'

The look on the younger man's downcast expression said it all.

Really?

What kind of bastard would cheat on someone like Xavier? First he was a complete moron, because men like Charles were rare enough and two, refer to point one.

Erik shook his head in wry amusement as the smaller man scrunched his nose as he poured the coffee. He was just waiting for Charles to say for the hundredth time, 'Erik love, how can you drink that rancid swill?'

'I am not jealous or annoyed, I only ask because your man is not someone who I want to get on the wrong side of,' he prodded more gently this time.

The professor smiled in understanding, knowing how prickly and overbearing his loyal servant sometimes behaved especially to strangers. 'Well like your Matt, John doesn't think I have the good sense that God gave puppies. He was looking for a job, broke David's nose and never left after that.'

'John?'

'That would be Logan to you. Oh for the love of God, why are you smiling Erik? Violence is never the answer. He could have handled the situation another way!

Erik snorted in disbelief. A punch in the face was exactly how he would have handled the scenario and he would emulate the handyman actions to the letter if he ever caught the man's ex-, sniffing around Charles or the mansion in the future.

The younger man furtively looked over his shoulder and then beckoned for Erik to lean in closer.

'You didn't hear it from me but Logan is in way over his head with the widow Jean from the village,' the younger man whispered excitedly. 'She's got him all tied up in knots, the poor schmuck.'

'You are such an old lady Charles!' Erik roared in delight. 'I can't believe you are a gossiping about the help.'

The Englishman pulled back looking utterly mortified at the observation, but eventually broke down in a reluctant smile as the older man continued to shake with silent laughter. It was good to see Erik enjoying himself so much. He didn't really smile often enough to suit Charles' liking.

'He is not "The Help", John Logan is my friend,' the professor corrected the other man, gently but firmly.

Erik held his hands up in a gesture of surrender as the Englishman squinted playfully at him and with a sharp jerk he cracked every bone in his left arm and folded it comfortably infront of him, further amused to see Charles visibly wince at his actions.

'Here. Help me with this cake,' the older man requested, handing the Englishman a fresh spoon.

He was exceptionally displeased when the small man refused and as per usual, his temper ignited quicker than dried kindling. 'I find skinny men deeply unattractive,' Erik noted in a querulous tone of voice, taking a vicious stab at the professor's modest physical attributes.

He didn't like it one bit when the Englishman disagreed with him and unconsciously he fell back on his old habits of humiliation and intimidation to ensure co-operation. If it wasn't for the unexpected flash of annoyance in Charles' eyes, the words that the man muttered under his breath, would not have fully coalesced in Erik's mind.

'What was that? Look at me when you want to make a point, Xavier!' the older man stated sharply.

The smaller man looked up quickly in astonishment. He was becoming accustomed to the eddies and currents of Erik's temper but the sudden shifts still startled him.

'Why do you care if I am skinny or not? It's not like you want to be with me!' he repeated in a louder voice, shouting the last past just so that it would twist in deep.

Charles' own words and tone of voice so astounded him, that his jaw dropped open in shock. Not until he had said the words out loud did he really come to understand how upsetting Erik's rejection of him was.

However, the professor had other pressing concerns as the older man had turned brick red. He shouldn't have said what he just did especially in the WAY he said it. Charles could almost see the proverbial wisps of steam curling from the tips of his ears.

'I NEVER said that I didn't want to be with you!'

And it was a surprise and yet no surprise at all, when Erik picked up the plate of dessert and flung it furiously at the wall.

'For an educated man how could you be so foolish? If you really paused to examine my motives, my refusal to sleep with you is an indication of how much I care, how much I …' Erik stuttered to a halt as if the thread of his conversation was suddenly cut with a pair of giant scissors. 'Do not EVER dare presume to put words in my mouth again!'

Charles slumped in his chair studying his shoes, too overcome by his fractured emotions too look up or even speak. Since his childhood, he had a bad habit of always wanting people to like him and would go to great lengths to try and be on good terms with everyone. It didn't matter if he wasn't in the wrong; it made him physically ill to have another person think badly of him.

He nodded dumbly as after a few minutes of tense silence, Erik apologized in a low voice.

Maybe it was best if they just played chess and didn't try to speak at all. He looked up then and it broke his heart to see the older man hiding his face in both his hands.

'Erik?'

'What?'

'I just want you to know, that I think you're a great kisser.'

With a deep sigh and a small smile, the older man looked up and half heartedly pelted his crumpled napkin in Charles' direction.

'You're not so bad yourself, Xavier.'